Twitter Is Getting Into The Spooky Spirit With ‘Fake Scary Movie Facts’

We’re knee deep in “Spooky Season“, and though there’s no trick or treating to look forward to, people are still finding myriad ways to celebrate. From binge-watching horror movies to posting skeleton memes, the Halloween spirit is very alive on the internet. On Twitter, users have been flexing their creativity and humor with the hashtag #FakeScaryMovieFacts. It’s pretty self explanatory: come up with a funny or dumb quip regarding your favorite bone-chilling film and then hurl it onto the timeline. While some of the tweets verge on cringe (cough politics cough). others showcase some serious wit. We’ve put all of our favorite examples here for your convenient perusal, but there’s loads more to be found on Twitter. Enjoy the spooky fun while it lasts!

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‘Zoom Dick’ Is Trending On Twitter And The Internet Has Had Enough

Just when you thought this year couldn’t get any more unhinged, if you log on to Twitter right now, you’ll find that ‘Zoom Dick’ is one of the top trending topics. And yes, it’s pretty much what it sounds like. According to VICE, the New Yorker has suspended CNN reporter Jeffrey Toobin after he whipped it out during a Zoom meeting with his colleagues. Toobin claims the indecent exposure was accidental, believing his camera was off at the time. Yikes. 

Many on Twitter are lamenting the fact that we’ll have to add ‘Zoom Dick Incident’ to the big, fat 2020 history books, while others are embracing the absurd event as a distraction from global pandemic, ceaseless wildfires, and electoral shit-shows. To be honest, we’re pretty surprised something like this hasn’t already happened at this point. Here’s how people on Twitter are reacting to The Great Zoom Dick Incident of 2020.

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Text - Trending in United States Zoom Dick The New Yorker has suspended reporter Jeffrey Toobin for exposing himself during a professional Zoom call, Vice reports 20.5K Tweets

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Vintage Christian Hip-Hop Performance Brings The Cringe

If you’ve ever tuned into Evangelical Christian television, you’re already aware of its inherently cringey qualities. But today we’re here to offer up some vintage Christian cringe that feels like something right out of HBO’s The Righteous Gemstones.  The video comes courtesy of Twitter user @RebekaDawn, and it’s an incredible spectacle of awkward snapping, dramatic beats, and some seriously goofy choreography. We’ve included the video below, along with some more wince-worthy Christian rap and some of the more clever and incredulous reactions. Our next move? Probably practicing these dances in the mirror.

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Twitter Thread: Man Recounts Harrowing Tale Of Loss With Unexpected Plot Twists

Every pet-lover dreads the day they’ll have to say goodbye to their furry friend. Well imagine the emotional rollercoaster of losing a pet and then getting them back again! @TalkingSchmidt recently tweeted about the time his family’s cat was found dead…or so they thought. We won’t spoil the surprise for you, but we were totally flipping out about the turn of events. Some of the hilarious reactions to @TalkingSchmidt’s story deserve acknowledgement, so we’ve included our favorite replies from the twitter thread. 

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Text - 00000 Verizon ? 9:06 AM 78% ( Messages Group MMS Details To: Sister, Dad Yesterday 3:24 PM Dad I've got some bad news. Kitty has been missing since last night. When your mom drove the neighborhood just now, she found her in the street near the house. Your mom is pretty emotional so please reach out when you can and offer your support. Oh no. So sorry to hear this Sister Man. Just got off the phone with her-she's definitely very broken up about it. Give her our love in person when you get

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Text - 00000 Verizon ? 9:06 AM 78% ( Messages Group MMS Details To: Sister, Dad Yesterday 5:38 PM Dad Well your not going to believe this. After a beautiful burial service and words of remembrance from yours truly. We walked back in the house to begin our post-Kitty life. Out of habit I looked out the back window and guess who was staring back at me? You guessed it. We buried someone else's cat. I guess it's true-cats do have nine lives. Thanks for your kind words. All is better now. Sister is t

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Cat - 00000 Verizon ? 9:06 AM 78% ( Messages Group MMS Details To: Sister, Dad Would you like a photo? Sister YES What the actual fuck Sister Text Message Send

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Text - 00000 Verizon ? 12:35 PM 73% ( Messages Mom Details Today 12:34 PM Oh, and BTW, I dug up the carcass and took it to our vet and it didn't have a chip in it. Because it's a rabbit. DO NOT tell the world about this. iMessage Q W ERTY U IO P A S D F GHJK L Z X C V B N M 123 space return

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‘Dinosaur Earth’ Meme Account Argues Earth Is Actually Dinosaur-Shaped

If you spend way too much time on the internet like we do, you’ve probably heard about the ‘flat earth‘ theory, but what do you know about dinosaur earth? Two years ago, an Instagram account called @dinosaurearth began posting memes that satirize the flat earth mindset and they’ve been going hard ever since. The concept is reminiscent of the first well-known internet trolls of belief systems, the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. The ‘Dinosaur Earth Society’ also have a Twitter account, where they often flaunt their rivalry with @FlatEarthOrg. As meme savants, we have deep respect for @dinosaurearth’s dedication to throwing their spin on nearly every meme format in existence. We’ve put together twenty-one of the funniest @dinosaurearth posts for the (dinosaur) world to see. 

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Retired MLB Player Aubrey Huff Roasted By Gamers

Former Major League Baseball star Aubrey Huff took a swing at the gaming community last weekend, implying in a tweet that ‘grown ass men’ who play video games don’t get laid. Who knows, maybe his retired buddies think archaic stereotypes are funny, but Twitter did not let this one slide. What ensued was a barrage of comebacks, quips, and spicy roasts in one endless thread. We’ve collected some of the funniest replies to Aubrey’s foul for your amusement.

Looks like you struck-out this time, Aubrey.

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TikTok McDonald’s Proposal Is A Perfect Example Of Wholesome Cringe

It’s easy to laugh at pretty much anything on TikTok, especially anything involving relationships. But thanks to this garbage fire of a year, we’re a little more accepting of cringe when it somehow manages to give us hope. TikTok user @liltransboykai shared a video that fits the bill yesterday – a clip of his coworker Willow proposing to his partner Akira. The whole thing goes down at work, which for these three happens to be a McDonald’s.The video eventually made its way to Twitter, where users both mocked and praised it with a heavy dose of predictable sass. Though we enjoyed the laugh, we wish these two a happy future. 

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‘WandaVision’ Trailer Is A Trippy First Look At Marvel’s Disney+ Series

Marvel fans finally had something to celebrate yesterday when Marvel Entertainment released the first trailer for the Disney+ WandaVision miniseries yesterday. The series doesn’t have an official release date, but the colorful, zany, and surreal teaser gives us much to be excited about. The show takes place after Avengers: Endgame, and Elizabeth Olsen and Paul Bettany return to their roles as Scarlet Witch and Vision. Vision, according to the trailer, is still dead at the hands of Thanos – which suggests that much of show must take place in some kind of fantasy world. Perhaps it’s all in Wanda’s brain. If that’s the case, we don’t blame her. The way 2020 is going, living in an imaginary reality sounds pretty great. 

The trailer has mostly been met with positive reception, especially concerning the show’s star-studded cast – which includes Kathryn Hahn, Randall Park, Kat Dennings, and Teyonah Parris as Monica Rambeau. Between the talent, the gorgeous imagery, and rumors of a cameo from Benedict Cumberbatch‘s Doctor Strange, we couldn’t be more excited. Let’s just hope the release is soon. We need all the quality television we can get.

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1984 Is Happening All Over Again

Funny tweet about life in the future when Amazon has taken over

History repeats itself.

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Absolutely Nothing Suspicious To See Here

Funny Twitter meme that reads, "If anyone is planning any illegal activities tonight let me know. I love doing crimes"

Definitely not a narc or anything.

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Every Damn Day

funny tweet about losing control of the day

So relatable.

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Honestly Though

funny meme about guys named matt

For real.

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Well, Life Is Meaningless Anyway

Funny tweet that reads, "This generation is a bit TOO comfortable with going to hell"

F*ck it who cares about anything

Submitted by: (via abbiistabbii)

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And Now It’s, ‘Huh, Maybe I Should Get Off The Computer’

Funny tweet that reads, "Remember in 2004 when you were like 'I'm gonna go on the computer'"

It’s obviously a full-on addiction.

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Uh, No Thanks

Funny tweet that reads, "Any geologists or beachcombers out there know what this is, or should I just accept that it's 2020, of course rocks have grown teeth, and move on?" above photos of a rock that appears to have been split in half and is being kept together by a substance that looks like teeth

What other neat little surprises does 2020 have for us?

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At This Point They’re Just Trolling

Funny Twitter meme that reads, "The wealthier you are, the more confusing your sink is" above a photo of a strange-looking sink

Trying to confuse us poors.

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Sick Self-Own

Funny tweet that reads, "You're offered $50,000 but if you accept it, the person you hate most in the entire world gets $100,000. Are you taking it?" Someone replies below, "Yes. Why wouldn't I want $150,000"

The best kind of own.

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Beep Boop Beep

Funny Twitter meme that reads, "I bought a car today, and the dealership had me check off - with a pen, and paper - that I'm not a robot" above a photo of the paper and her signature that she's not a robot; someone replies below, "sweats coolant"

I have arms and legs and do whatever it is that humans do.

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Such A Dad Move

Funny Twitter meme that reads, "My dad had other ideas..." above photos of a proposal and the woman's dad standing in the background with a sign that reads, "Say no"

Quite the protective father. (Jokes, obviously.)

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All About That Work-Life Balance

Funny tweet that reads, "I said I'm able to work under pressure, not that I will die for your company" above a still of Daenerys Targaryen from Game of Thrones smirking

Employers are out of their minds these days.

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If it ain’t me

Funny tweet about staying up late as revenge

Submitted by: (via @memebase)

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Quit Buying So Much Avocado Toast

Funny tweet that reads, "Millennials are so SPOILED and ENTITLED; Millennials: is it rude if I ask my employer to pay me"

They just demand everything, don’t they?

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Superman That Hoe

Funny tweet that makes puns out of Soulja Boy, Dr. Dre, and Adele | Demic Soulja Boy not even a Soldier, Dr. Dre aint even a Doctor. Keep it going! @Mattmateee Adele isn't even a computer

Clever.

Submitted by: (via darkwingduckinatruck)

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What Is This ‘Happy’ You Speak Of?

Funny tweet about a kid who tells his teacher that he wants to be happy when he grows up; teacher says to parents, "We need to talk about your son's unrealistic expectations"

Happiness isn’t real.

Submitted by: (via SayGoodbyeToTHESE)

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Thirty-Eight Dumb Memes To Scroll Through While The World Burns

We’re not saying we think you should sit around while the world is clearly on fire, in fact we think everyone should get up and take action. However, when you need a damn break from all of that for five minutes, we’re here for you with memes.

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Technology - Life without sports

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Coca-cola - Rs Coca "It's just a car bro" Car people

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Isaac Newton demonstrating that going outside is gay (ca. 1670)

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Hand - If your Mam doesn't have a flip case and scrolls with her index finger is she even your ma

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Facial expression - Why the fuck did I have to see this Posted in r/memes by u/LiamSAD 6 reddit

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Hair - When u realize he's right in the argument "ok but why are you yelling"

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Photo caption - Dad showing other dads the ribs they grilled over the weekend

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Cat - Men after 40 in social networks be like

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Arm - When someone is making plans you have no intention of going to, so you add "what time?" For decoration

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Cat - awake but at what cost

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Bovine - DeadlyNightshade @231 Tally How can u eat these precious creatures????? YT: The Focus Group @ManLikeKofi Is this rhetorical or are you looking for recipes??

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Hair - Me: I'm more productive when I work from home. Me working from home: @gaybestfriend I got up. Got a latte. Went to the gym. Got a perm and came home.

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Text - *I'm on the phone with my mother* My friends: 'Pass me that cigarette" "Give me that beer" e123R "Sex noises" 123RF

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Text - TURNTDAVE® @turntdave Studies have shown that it do be like that sometimes.

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Text - T heard you like bad girls. Well I'm bad. At everything. *Winks at you with both eyes*

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Mobile phone - "How hot is it outside?" Balls It's hot as balls Today 5PM 6PM 7P 3PM 4PM

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Text - When you're hittin it from behind and she screams "these cheese-fries are gangsta!" Medium Small Large LOAD SIZE steelmemes10

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Face - Guys with the bar of soap they wash their balls with Girls with their $1,000 face wash

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Joint - Fragile sign: *exists* Delivery drivers: ORY 2155

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Text - say you aren't cute one more freaking time I dare you you're fucking cute deal with it @whole.s.ome

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Animated cartoon - A bad situation Me Is this Time for a joke

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Text - Today I am going to give it my some.

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Text - Checking if the guests have left so you can finally walk out of your room & eat the left over food

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Cat - When I try to make food at 3 am without waking my parents but I drop a spoon on the ground E

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Text - I WAS HAVING A PRETTY DECENT DAY UNTIL I THOUGHT OF SOMETHING I SAID WHEN I WAS 13.

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Text - Dani Balenson @dlbee_ Made the bed, kept cleaning the apartment, realized I hadn't seen the cat for a little bit and found him like this

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Organism - Girl's pockets: Guy's pockets: Girl's handbags:

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Text - me: *checked that the door is locked 3 times* my brain: XDoubt

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Cartoon - English tests in 30 years, “QUESTION 5: What is the meaning of this meme?"

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Cartoon - Tommy @DeathBy_Stereo how i look watching horror movies and true crime documentaries

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Text - TOBI @kvngfhaz Me: *bites into burger* Everything on the opposite end of the burger: TOBIOO @kvngfhaz · 19h Bomboclaat.

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Text - [parents aren't home] expectation: *has huge party* reality: *brings laptop to the living room instead of hiding in my room* MemeCenter.com

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Text - misandryad At work like Customer: why is x so much money Me: instead of asking me, the suffering proletariat ask why we continue to let capitalism do us like this. 5.38 please.

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Cartoon - Entering the perfume section of the mall: Finally getting out of the perfume section: Breathing is fun

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Text - All the knowledge available to humankind Dank Memes me

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Cartoon - me realizing someone was hitting on me 4 years later

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Water - Basic Solution Acidic Solution -75 -50 ニ25

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Text - when you're at the grocery store and see yourself on the security monitor

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Thirty-Three Random Tidbits We Handpicked For You

With all of the bad sh*t happening in the world right now, we just hope that you’re staying safe and staying sane. To aid in that, we’ve provided some memes for your troubles.

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Cartoon - If you divide 2020 by 5 you get 404, so basically this entire year is an error message. There is a glitch in the matrix. I worry about you sometimes Candace.

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Cartoon - George is getting a little too curious. EdHarrington.tumblr.com NCDERGHLJKI Edharmington.to ZAXI OPORSTU

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Text - "No thanks, I'm vegetarian" is a fun thing to say when someone tries to hand you their baby. somee cards user card

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Snapshot - T-Mobile 6:06 AM 62% When they tell you Evangelion is stupid Freyja33 • follow ... 5h mium BIC ALT 888 3 44 153 Share

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Deer - A deer entered a shop. The owner decided to give him some biscuits. He left...half an hour later he came back with the squad

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Font - Xx_SniperZzzxX Skullkid25 FifaFan21 Coolkid11 玩家

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Spider-man - lich: casts fly to get away from martial party members eagle barbarian: begins flying because he is angry lich: what in the goddamn fuck

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Cat - Army Air Force Me, wondering why the janitor is yelling at me You're not even real military!! H. imgfip.com

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Hair - Slayer' fans Slayer's singer R. THE AL TaR

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Text - alannamode A fun reminder that Aang was a terrifyingly powerful Avatar. Most Avatars are informed of their newfound destinies at the age of 16 to begin their training. Because of the approaching war Aang was told of his status at the age of 12. He had already mastered airbending, and in the span of a year he mastered the other three elements, the avatar state, and energybending. He also learned lightning redirection and seismic sense (a technique no previous Avatar had even encountered).

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Photography - NME ETFLIX THE WITCHER Playstation or Xbox? NME NETFLIX THE WITCHER PC. He is the chosen one. Posted in r/2meirl4meirl O reddit

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Text - Andy Woodruff @awoodruff This is a monument to potatoes. It is the best monument in Boston. РОТАТО POTATO РОТАТОES РОТАТО ΡΟΤΑΤΟ . ΡΟΤΤΟES POTATO POTATO РОТАТО POTATOES POTATO PÓTATO POTATO РОТАТО

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Bottle - Pi Bu The wheels on TABASCO round and reund ER

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Adaptation - Hello there General Kenobi

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People - France every time they do a revolution: YEET THE RICH THE NOJUSTICE NO PEC

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Text - Someone: *tells me their name* Their name in my brain 7 seconds later: Adios

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Sky - When all of your friends are doing massive damage and you miss. again ORD AME

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Photo caption - when you drop your phone so you save it by kicking it into the wall nincha

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Cartoon - When short people see someone shorter than them O reddit

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Nose - Me: I need help with the school presentation My mom: I can't, I'm cooking Me: Just pause it Listen here, you little shit

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Head - frightochondria @_audlout this some advanced humor lucy, @curledbitch roses are red,

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Dog - When someone has explained something to u 7 times and u still don't get it and u hope they forgive how stupid u are

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Text - marvel so the only two white actors in black panther are martin freeman, who played bilbo baggins, and andy serkis, who played gollum. so I guess that means...they're the Tolkien white guys. everywitchway I literally screamed flas this is the pun of the century

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Cartoon - Me: "leaving my room to socialize during social gatherings* Family: "Look who finally left their cave!" Me: *Heads back to room to avoid the unnecessary attention and mockery* Family:

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Photo caption - "So where are you from?" "Australia, mate." "Really? Prove it." VB

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Fictional character - TA HE CLONE WARS ORIGINAL WARF CN We stand here amidst my achievement, not yours!

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Bird - Wizard: "Question: Can my familiar use their action to interact with an object?" DM: "Of cours...why?" Wizard's Familiar: TheArisemi Merredraid

29.

Facial expression - Learn to Make program recursive function Learn to Make program recursive function No exit condition Learn to Make recursive function program No exit condition No eit condition

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Text - dustin Couch @Dustinkcouch nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back early astronaut: moon's haunted nasa employee: what? astronaut: *loading a pistol and getting back on the rocket-ship* moon's haunted

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Hair - 2b: *is machine with feelings* Machines she kills: We have feelings too, y'know? 2B:

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Peach - 4-5-6Fにて インフト大軍中 を、是非ご覧下さい。 本橋 3月19日(日) 日本 駐車等 日本橋 駐車ご遠盛之ださい また、8時~16時半はバーキングチケットも。 利用できません

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Photography - Any real man will spot the problem with this picture. AA there is no number plate on that audi

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Po-tay-toes

Funny tweet that reads, "This is a monument to potatoes. It is the best monument in Boston" above photos of the monument

Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew

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Fifteen Masterful Comebacks That Deserve Our Praise

Comebacks are really their own art form. It takes a lot of quick wit and creativity to think of the perfect way to roast someone, after all. So scroll down for some clever roasts and insults, and then click here for more!

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Text - Donald J. Trump O @realDonaldTrump Schools in our country should be opened ASAP. Much very good information now available. @SteveHiltonx @FoxNews O 124K 2:41 AM - May 25, 2020 58.8K people are talking about this Bill Murray @BillyMurray "Much very good information" is ironically the strongest argument one can have to justify opening schools 9:46 AM - May 26, 2020

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Text - They think your haircuts are un-American Well, it was very observant of them because we aren't American, actually

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Text - •5mo There should only be two bathroom types.One specifically for me, and another for everyone else. Reply 1.3k . 5mo 1 Award There is. It's called a diaper. 1.0k

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Statue - Before being burned alive by the Spaniards, chief Hatuey of the island of Hispanola was asked if he wanted to accept Christianity and go to Heaven. Hatuey asked if Spaniards go to Heaven, to which the priest that they do. Hatuey then stated that he'd rather go to Hell where he wouldn't see such cruel people.

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Text - 00000 Virgin ? 13:30 @ 10 60% ( Back More 24 Apr 2014 12:41 Did you fall from heaven...? Because, have sex with me? 24 Apr 2014 13:18 Sorry didn't suffer a head injury during the fall

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Text - Millennials aren't buying diamonds - why? RETWEETS LIKES 173 309 MistyKnights TwistOut @Steph_I Will * Follow Too busy filling out job applications that ask them to attach their resume and then enter what's on that same resume on the next page.

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Text - Biothickness • 3h I think that's called "desperate," not "bisexual." 1 -58 PerAsperaAdlnfiri • 56m See, bisexuality is that I would have sex with men or women. Desperation would be if I had sex with you 1 13

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Text - Chicken pox at 8yrs & shingles around 38yrs I'm still living. No need to vaccinate 180 14h Like Reply View previous replies... One of my mates got hit by a car, he lived. I guess we don't need any of those road safety laws Like Reply O 164 14h

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Text - Isaac Haxton @ikepoker Woman in front of me at airport security has a bottle of frozen water. They want to take it. She says it's not a liquid. No, no... She's got a point.

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Text - 1h I'm proud to be an American because at least I know I'm free Reply - 17m · My pepe is slightly below average. Europeans: Guess I'm enslaved then Vote 3m One sec I'm going to go check if the moon has any other flags on it + Vote 7m My pepe is slightly below average. Call me when your moon flag pays your hospital bills.

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Text - I remember getting a phone call at work, a relative told me my dad died. It was unexpected, he was only 49. I was in my early 20's at the time. I started to tear up, one of the "boomers" on my shift told someone else to take me out back so I could "Man-Up" and compose myself so I could finish out my shift. Reply 5.9k ... Vergenbuurg • 4h 3 7 Awards My father was extremely close with his paternal grandmother... she had raised him at a very trying time in his childhood. She died when he was

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Clothing - BIG DADDY Obigdaddyvinz If being cute is a crime, I Deserve to Be ARRESTED AND JAILED FOR 100 YEARS Kushal Krd K.R.D, 100 years ? for a crime you didn't commit ?

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Text - Kristen Bartlett @kristencheeks Meghan, we live in the same building, and I just walked outside. It's fine. Meghan McCain O @MeghanMcCain Jun 2 My neighborhood in Manhattan is eviscerated and looks like a war zone. DeBlasio and Cuomo are an utter disgrace. This is not America. Our leaders have abandoned us and continue to let great American cities burn to the ground and be destroyed. I never could have fathomed this

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Random Weird Memes That Certainly Beat Thumb-Twiddling

Let’s just get this out of the way: 2020 has been the worst year of most of our lives to date. We’re all tired and we don’t want to think anymore. These memes aren’t much, but we hope they’ll help you temporarily recharge your brain!

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White - ARE YA WINNING, LOVE SON? SIMON w-what? i said, are you winning, son? i... i know, it's just... that's the first time you've called me "son"

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Text - Clip art - Mom: My little boy is a real angel Her little boy:

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Product - did you schedule an appointment INTU

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Barechested

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Text - Text - Viviane Schwarz @vivschwarz Zoom sucks, we started having editorial meetings in Red Dead Redemption instead. It's nice to sit at the campfire and discuss projects, with the wolves howling out in the night

6.

JUST OBSERVING ALWAYS SILENT ALWAYS VANISHES WHEN YOU LOOK AT HIM FOR TOO LONG ONLY YOU CAN SEE HIM NO VISIBLE EYES, BUT YOU CAN FEEL HIM IS PROBABLY THE REASON YOU RANDOMLY WAKE UP AT NIGHT LOOKING” title=”” width=”800″ height=”399″/>

7.

Text - Terrestrial animal - FELLAS if yagir has long legs! dummy thicc thighs and is vegetarian THATSNOT YA CIRL that's Apatosaurus louisae

8.

Text - lamNOTdead Just tired ugly PLEASE LET ME SLEEP!!! ilyasaurus Reblog if you, too, are not dead- only tired and ugly. duckandorpenguin same

9.

Food - 4 OPEN Gerbere Baby's first heart attack Gerber BLE Ghost Peppers 4180 7 nd ZFoods NET WT/PESO NETO 4 0Z (113g) TEAR HERE

10.

Organism - is your feline melting? or he just likes to play with the spacetime continuum

11.

Suit - ST JOHNS CHURCH PARISH HOUSE She Doesn't Even Go Here

12.

Text - Land vehicle - TIRES TIRES 20 TIRES 19" RES LOR 18" FALKE 81 UNLOT 17 RES ome IAMTUE END OF THE WORLD TDI GOLF *TEXAS MJG-7674 The Lone Star State

13.

Text - Cat - New York LIVE 10:51 PM BREAKING NEWS LOCAL CHONKY CAT TELLS TRANSPHOBES TO EAT GLASS Also demands to be told she's pretty made with mematic

14.

Motor vehicle - Total Social and Economic Collapse OBJECTS IN MIRROR ARE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR

15.

Text - Self help tip: Do one thing a day that scares you. Text someone first. Ask your crush to hang out. Purposefully irritate a wild raccoon. Fuck a cactus. The only one stopping you is yourself.

16.

Vertebrate - HUP

17.

Text - Text - Have you ever experienced... BIG BEN

18.

Food - dave just fucking died whos dave the guy we had in our basement ok chesecak chesecak

19.

Text - Sky - | scream into the void.. @surrealslapps ....and God answers with cosmic laughter

20.

Text - Portrait - When you tap your pockets and you can't feel your phone

21.

Text - Neck - You HAVEN'T TRULY EXPERIENCED TOILET PAPER. UNTIL YOU PHAVE ENJOYED IT IN THE ORIGINAL KLINGON

22.

Text - sammy @astolfoschild anime is cool cause u can watch characters do stuff that's impossible for u like using magic powers or making friends 3:34 am · 16 May 20 · Twitter for iPhone

23.

millipedes - jessicaedwardsspellingbee2000 reply with top 5 time periods you fantasize about being in fried-ferret 1-5: Early Cambrian Babey!!!!!!! Source: jessicaedwardsspellingbee2000

24.

Organism - edgy depressed dumbass bitch Hallucigenia Trilobite Habelia thot Kootenichela đeppi Wawaxia Opabinia Regalis bastard Anomalocaris Helmetia Aysheaia

25.

Text - Karl Tomlinson @KarlTO Those space X lads aren't due back for a while. Plenty of time for everyone to buy a gorilla suit and learn to ride a horse.

26.

Violet - TIME FOR WRATH

27.

Text - Text - Chakotay, look at this Icall it "timeout protocol" You'terrify me [mouthing "I'm sorry"] sometimes, Captain.

28.

Organism - millipedes 300 million years ago WILD GREEN MEMES millipedes now I am the largest terrestrial invertebrate of all time and someone touched me so I will now curl up for an hour have few, if any, predators

29.

Text - Product - what the FUCK is oatmeal

30.

Cartoon - I'm Sick Of CRYING BREAK Tired Of TRYING BREA Yeah l'm SMILING But Inside l'm DYING

31.

Adaptation - BIRDS ARE PLANTS LEAFS FRUIT SEED ROOTS WAKE UP SHEEPLE! imgfip.com

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Twitter Thread Calls Out Hypocrisy Of ‘Woke’ Brands’ Black Lives Matter Posts

As the country nears a week of protests following the murders of George Floyd and Breonna Taylor by police, there’s been an influx of people and brands showing their support on social media. #BlackoutTuesday, which happened yesterday, was probably the largest show of virtual solidarity yet. The “movement,” which was mostly on Instagram and Twitter, called for the “muting” of usual programming such as work promotions, art, and lifestyle posting. To show support, many people and brands began posting black squares to their timelines, as an attempt to highlight black voices and information regarding police brutality. Early in the day there was a backlash regarding the apparent censorship of these very voices – it seemed many social users were hashtagging #Blacklivesmatter and creating a literal blackout of important movement information. But as @RespectableLaw, a progressive lawyer who supports working families, pointed out in a fascinating Twitter thread, there are other problems with the squareposting.

Many big brands, from Nike to Microsoft, were eager to adopt the passive show of support. At first glance, it’s nice to see corporations take the side of the people who make them profitable. @RespectableLaw, however, took to Twitter to show how many of these brands have extremely shady and inhumane business practices. Most of them have used child labor. There may not be such a thing as ethical consumption right now, but it’s important to realize that brands are not your friends – and they have a lot of work to do before their passive shows of solidarity are taken seriously,.

1.

Text - Respectable Lawyer @RespectableLaw Pringles are made using palm oil extracted by 8-year-old plantation slaves in Indonesia. Pringles O @Pringles · 21h Pringles #blackouttuesday 2:03 PM · 6/2/20 · Twitter for iPhone

2.

Text - Respectable Lawyer @RespectableLaw Hershey's chocolate is made using cocoa extracted by 8-year-old plantation slaves in West Africa. twitter.com/hersheys/statu.. HERSHEY'S @Hersheys 21h #BlackOutTuesday 2:16 PM · 6/2/20 · Twitter for iPhone

3.

Text - Respectable Lawyer @RespectableLaw Reese's Peanut Butter Cups are made using cocoa extracted by 8- year-old plantation slaves in West Africa. REESE'S @reeses · 21h #BlackOutTuesday 3:20 PM · 6/2/20 · Twitter Web App

4.

Text - Respectable Lawyer @RespectableLaw J. Crew made its fortune using slave labor in Saipan sweatshops. J.CREW jcrew ♡ Q ♡ 569 likes jcrew Black Lives Matter. #blackouttuesday View all 7 comments 4 minutes ago :

5.

Text - Respectable Lawyer @RespectableLaw Microsoft built it products using cobalt extracted by 8-year-old mining slaves in the Democratic Republic of Congo. Microsoft O @Microsoft 22h #NewProfilePic Today, we will continue to uplift voices from the Black and African American community at Microsoft. 3:39 PM · 6/2/20 · Twitter Web App

6.

Text - Respectable Lawyer @RespectableLaw Apple's phones and watches are made by 8-year-old child slaves in Southwestern China. J Apple Music @AppleMusic · 1d On Tuesday, June 2nd, Apple Music will observe Black Out Tuesday. We will use this day to reflect and plan actions to support Black artists, Black creators, and Black communities. #TheShowMustBePaused #BlackLivesMatter #BlackLivesMatter

7.

Text - Respectable Lawyer @RespectableLaw Prada, one of the most evil fashion companies on the planet, is built on the backs of 8-year-old child slaves in Vietnam. PRADA PRADA @Prada · 1d The Prada Group is outraged and saddened by the injustices facing the Black community and stands in steadfast support and solidarity against racism. We raise our voice and continue to work with our Diversity and Inclusion Council to fight for racial justice everywhere. The Prada Group is outraged and saddened b

8.

Text - Respectable Lawyer @RespectableLaw Starbucks uses coffee beans extracted by 8-year-old plantation slaves in Guatamala, Kenya, Costa Rica and Panama. Starbucks Coffee @Starbucks · 1d We will confront racism to create a more inclusive and just world. We stand in solidarity with our Black partners, customers and communities. We will not be bystanders. 3:53 PM · 6/2/20 · Twitter Web App

9.

Text - Respectable Lawyer @RespectableLaw Forever 21 uses cotton extracted by 8-year-old plantation slaves in Uzbekistan. FOREVER 21 Forever 21 O @Forever21· 2d We have been deeply heartbroken over the recent events in our country. The Forever 21 family stands in solidarity with you.... Show this thread 3:59 PM · 6/2/20 · Twitter Web App

10.

Text - Respectable Lawyer @RespectableLaw Victoria's Secret amassed its fortune using cotton extracted by 8-year-old plantation slaves in Burkina Faso. Victoria's Secret @VictoriasSecret · 1d VIS Read the full statement from our CEO: bit.ly/ 3eDcd8w We are sad. We are sickened. We must do better.

11.

Text - Respectable Lawyer @RespectableLaw Disney merchandise is manufactured by factory child slaves in Southwestern China. S Disney O @Disney 2d We stand for inclusion. We stand with our fellow Black employees, storytellers, creators and the entire Black community. 4:09 PM · 6/2/20 · Twitter Web App

12.

Text - Respectable Lawyer @RespectableLaw Kellogg's, the makers of Pop-Tarts, sources palm oil extracted from 8- year-old plantation slaves in Indonesia and cocoa extracted from 8-year-old plantation slaves in West Africa. Pop-Tarts @PopTartsUS · 20h #blackouttuesday

13.

Text - Respectable Lawyer @RespectableLaw Nike is built on a foundation of slavery, from Pakistani children sewing in sweatshops, Uzbek children picking cotton, and even Uyghurs relocated into forced labor camps. Nike @Nike · 4d Let's all be part of the change. #UntilWeAllWin For once, Don't Do It.

14.

Text - Respectable Lawyer @RespectableLaw While Ben & Jerry's moved to Fair Trade cocoa in the last few years, it built its fortune on cocoa extracted by, you guessed it, 8-year-old plantation slaves in Côte d'Ivoire. Ben & Jerry's @benandjerrys · 19h The murder of George Floyd was the result of inhumane police brutality that is perpetuated by a culture of white supremacy. benjerrys.co/2XXI65J WE MUST DISMANTLE WHITE SUPREMAGY

15.

Text - Respectable Lawyer @RespectableLaw Nordstrom fabricates its garments in sweatshops right here in the good old US of A, where migrants were being paid $4/hr in atrocious conditions. N Nordstrom @Nordstrom · 21h Black Lives Matter. #blackouttuesday 1:32 AM · 6/3/20 · Twitter Web App

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Twitter Thread Calls Out Hypocrisy Of ‘Woke’ Brands’ BLM Social Media Posts

As the country nears a week of protests following the murders of George Floyd and Breonna Taylor by police, there’s been an influx of people and brands showing their support on social media. #BlackoutTuesday, which happened yesterday, was probably the largest show of virtual solidarity yet. The “movement,” which was mostly on Instagram and Twitter, called for the “muting” of usual programming such as work promotions, art, and lifestyle posting. To show support, many people and brands began posting black squares to their timelines, as an attempt to highlight black voices and information regarding police brutality. Early in the day there was a backlash regarding the apparent censorship of these very voices – it seemed many social users were hashtagging #Blacklivesmatter and creating a literal blackout of important movement information. But as @RespectableLaw, a progressive lawyer who supports working families, pointed out in a fascinating Twitter thread, there are other problems with the squareposting.

Many big brands, from Nike to Microsoft, were eager to adopt the passive show of support. At first glance, it’s nice to see corporations take the side of the people who make them profitable. @RespectableLaw, however, took to Twitter to show how many of these brands have extremely shady and inhumane business practices. Most of them have used child labor. There may not be such a thing as ethical consumption right now, but it’s important to realize that brands are not your friends – and they have a lot of work to do before their passive shows of solidarity are taken seriously,.

1.

Text - Respectable Lawyer @RespectableLaw Pringles are made using palm oil extracted by 8-year-old plantation slaves in Indonesia. Pringles O @Pringles · 21h Pringles #blackouttuesday 2:03 PM · 6/2/20 · Twitter for iPhone

2.

Text - Respectable Lawyer @RespectableLaw Hershey's chocolate is made using cocoa extracted by 8-year-old plantation slaves in West Africa. twitter.com/hersheys/statu.. HERSHEY'S @Hersheys 21h #BlackOutTuesday 2:16 PM · 6/2/20 · Twitter for iPhone

3.

Text - Respectable Lawyer @RespectableLaw Reese's Peanut Butter Cups are made using cocoa extracted by 8- year-old plantation slaves in West Africa. REESE'S @reeses · 21h #BlackOutTuesday 3:20 PM · 6/2/20 · Twitter Web App

4.

Text - Respectable Lawyer @RespectableLaw J. Crew made its fortune using slave labor in Saipan sweatshops. J.CREW jcrew ♡ Q ♡ 569 likes jcrew Black Lives Matter. #blackouttuesday View all 7 comments 4 minutes ago :

5.

Text - Respectable Lawyer @RespectableLaw Microsoft built it products using cobalt extracted by 8-year-old mining slaves in the Democratic Republic of Congo. Microsoft O @Microsoft 22h #NewProfilePic Today, we will continue to uplift voices from the Black and African American community at Microsoft. 3:39 PM · 6/2/20 · Twitter Web App

6.

Text - Respectable Lawyer @RespectableLaw Apple's phones and watches are made by 8-year-old child slaves in Southwestern China. J Apple Music @AppleMusic · 1d On Tuesday, June 2nd, Apple Music will observe Black Out Tuesday. We will use this day to reflect and plan actions to support Black artists, Black creators, and Black communities. #TheShowMustBePaused #BlackLivesMatter #BlackLivesMatter

7.

Text - Respectable Lawyer @RespectableLaw Prada, one of the most evil fashion companies on the planet, is built on the backs of 8-year-old child slaves in Vietnam. PRADA PRADA @Prada · 1d The Prada Group is outraged and saddened by the injustices facing the Black community and stands in steadfast support and solidarity against racism. We raise our voice and continue to work with our Diversity and Inclusion Council to fight for racial justice everywhere. The Prada Group is outraged and saddened b

8.

Text - Respectable Lawyer @RespectableLaw Starbucks uses coffee beans extracted by 8-year-old plantation slaves in Guatamala, Kenya, Costa Rica and Panama. Starbucks Coffee @Starbucks · 1d We will confront racism to create a more inclusive and just world. We stand in solidarity with our Black partners, customers and communities. We will not be bystanders. 3:53 PM · 6/2/20 · Twitter Web App

9.

Text - Respectable Lawyer @RespectableLaw Forever 21 uses cotton extracted by 8-year-old plantation slaves in Uzbekistan. FOREVER 21 Forever 21 O @Forever21· 2d We have been deeply heartbroken over the recent events in our country. The Forever 21 family stands in solidarity with you.... Show this thread 3:59 PM · 6/2/20 · Twitter Web App

10.

Text - Respectable Lawyer @RespectableLaw Victoria's Secret amassed its fortune using cotton extracted by 8-year-old plantation slaves in Burkina Faso. Victoria's Secret @VictoriasSecret · 1d VIS Read the full statement from our CEO: bit.ly/ 3eDcd8w We are sad. We are sickened. We must do better.

11.

Text - Respectable Lawyer @RespectableLaw Disney merchandise is manufactured by factory child slaves in Southwestern China. S Disney O @Disney 2d We stand for inclusion. We stand with our fellow Black employees, storytellers, creators and the entire Black community. 4:09 PM · 6/2/20 · Twitter Web App

12.

Text - Respectable Lawyer @RespectableLaw Kellogg's, the makers of Pop-Tarts, sources palm oil extracted from 8- year-old plantation slaves in Indonesia and cocoa extracted from 8-year-old plantation slaves in West Africa. Pop-Tarts @PopTartsUS · 20h #blackouttuesday

13.

Text - Respectable Lawyer @RespectableLaw Nike is built on a foundation of slavery, from Pakistani children sewing in sweatshops, Uzbek children picking cotton, and even Uyghurs relocated into forced labor camps. Nike @Nike · 4d Let's all be part of the change. #UntilWeAllWin For once, Don't Do It.

14.

Text - Respectable Lawyer @RespectableLaw While Ben & Jerry's moved to Fair Trade cocoa in the last few years, it built its fortune on cocoa extracted by, you guessed it, 8-year-old plantation slaves in Côte d'Ivoire. Ben & Jerry's @benandjerrys · 19h The murder of George Floyd was the result of inhumane police brutality that is perpetuated by a culture of white supremacy. benjerrys.co/2XXI65J WE MUST DISMANTLE WHITE SUPREMAGY

15.

Text - Respectable Lawyer @RespectableLaw Nordstrom fabricates its garments in sweatshops right here in the good old US of A, where migrants were being paid $4/hr in atrocious conditions. N Nordstrom @Nordstrom · 21h Black Lives Matter. #blackouttuesday 1:32 AM · 6/3/20 · Twitter Web App

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Roundup Of Amusing Memes To Fill The Void In Your Heart

With all of the crazy sh*t going on in the world right now, we figured you could use a distraction, and that’s where memes come in. They’re our gift to you. You’re welcome.

1.

Dog - BEWARE OF THE DOG

2.

Text - Frank Lotion @702Austin parents: "come here." me: "okay" me to myself: "they know everything. I knew that this would happen. I should have deleted everything" parents: "how do you turn on Netflix?" 10/10/18, 20:42

3.

Human - Me : i will never spend my money on stupid shit again Also me few minutes later : Ahmed@idmsf IPad

4.

Cat - This cat lost vision in one eye, but thanks to modern technology advancements, his vision was repaired

5.

Text - butasparrow: touchmypopsicle: it's kinda funny how when you get older you start to enjoy the things you hated as a kid like taking naps and getting spanked the second one was kind of unexpected but no one is disagreeing

6.

Ceiling - Become a nurse they said, it'll be fun they said.

7.

Signage - Seventh-Day Adventıst Church THE MOST POWERFUL POSITION IS ON YOUR KNEES

8.

Text - p One 99 Look at the bottom right corner That's left stupid There you go

9.

Clothing - When you wear loose boxers

10.

Text - Kaelyn @kaelyned Fellas, y'all have to try harder than a "you're pretty". The 38 yr old middle eastern men in my DMs have already written 6 poems and promised me all their assets

11.

Text - I'm not in fighting shape but this will be no problem CHRISTMAS BAZAAR & CRAFT SHOW Fight Children with Diabetes Fundraiser Sunday December 1" 10am-4pm at Royal Canada Legion 3850 Lakeshore Blvd. West Visit Santa Claus From 12pm - 1:30pm

12.

Door - Opportunity was seen and taken. Kudos to you, door installer.

13.

Rock - When your "cheat meal" becomes a "cheat life"

14.

Product - Employer: Says here you got all C's in high school Me: I identify as an A student Employer: That's not how this works IG: TheFunnyIntrovert

15.

Font - 2h 3m Member Lol 2h 3m "Co-leader Deven I know you're in the hospital and we're praying For you but you need to attack in the war

16.

Text - Me trying to flirt Hey Hey how are you? Good, how are you doing? Good thanks and you? Good and you? Good thanks Good

17.

Text - meh @bonehugsnirony me: [having a normal conversation but also wondering if bees consider us thieves or business associates]

18.

Text - I'm sorry but l've been laughing at this for ten minutes Hannah Dreier O @hannahdreier Venezuela's president, already mocked for gaining weight amid a hunger crisis, pulls out an empanada from his desk during a live TV address.

19.

Scuba diving - When you find out approximately 95% of all ocean critters remain undiscovered. Alright then, keep your sea crits.

20.

Face - I DONT KNOW I NEVER CHEATED ON YOU I LOVE YOU BABE I didn't mean to send that

21.

Text - I want to name my daughter mayonnaise and shorten it to May. May isn't short for anything so no one will ever ask what her full name is but she'll constantly live with the knowledge that she's named after a condiment. 9:03p earthdad: I'm dating a supervillian

22.

Text - 8:32 PM Google How to get flexible in 5 minutes X 8:43 PM Google How to fix a pulled muscle in 5 minutes x

23.

Text - Simon Holland @simoncholland This morning, on a whim, I decided to change my toaster setting from 3 to 4. Welcome to the new me, thanks for following my journey.

24.

Text - I guess the question I have for people who love LaCroix is have you tried any other beverages

25.

Motor vehicle - Friend: "u can't just spend ur time doing hecking sick razr tricks" Me: "skrrt skrrt MF"

26.

Hair - friend: "are you good?" me, after 4 vodka cranberries, appearing from the bathroom where I knocked over the toiletries and took five drunk selfies: @joeykerbz

27.

Text - When you ask her how her day was and she actually tells you

28.

Text - slutty satanistTM @_garbage_girl_ if i die and come back as a hillbilly is that called reintarnation

29.

Text - Congratulations Tu Youyou on winning the Nobel prize in Medicine. And also for being the most confusing person to sing happy birthday to.

30.

Cartoon - Thoughts? R @rvkhsvr when i'm having a convo past 1AM and the other person takes longer than 3 seconds to reply

31.

Transport - "You'll probably cancel last minute" Me: TRỤ TRUUUU 123RF® 123RF P123RF®

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18 ‘Today Years Old’ Revelations That Might Teach You Something New

The saying “you learn something new every day” may not always feel true, but on Twitter, that’s definitely the case. People are very eager to share surprising and little-known facts that blow their minds – whether they’re political or about something as trivial as the flavor of green Haribo gummy bears. These facts might not be revelatory for everyone, but they definitely aren’t common knowledge. And it’s nice to make that brain feel a little bigger. 

1.

Text - Cavan @cavantynxn I was today years old when I found out Flo Rida is just Florida split into two words... Wand 5:33 PM 6/1/20 · Twitter for iPhone

2.

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3.

Product - Chandler Follow @Pelicans After all my years drinking these, I finally figured out that you can reverse the top and close it again 10:01 PM - 21 Jul 2017 68,641 Retweets 150,674 Likes

4.

Text - Samantha @AngelicGirlxD I'm 22 years old &I just realized that "This little piggy went to the market" doesn't mean he went food shopping

5.

Text - Brianna Bowers Follow @brianna_bowers I was today years old when I learned that Fes in That 70s Show really just stands for "foreign exchange student" and that's not the characters actual name 11:50 PM - 10 Jun 2018 19 Retweets 102 Likes

6.

Text - * Erin Allison * Follow @erinmallison97 I was today years old elaine geraldine @egcarlin how old were you when you found out Woody from Toy Story's last name is Pride? 5:36 PM - 12 Jun 2018 from Oxford, MS 49 Retweets 162 Likes

7.

Text - Jennifer Johnson @Jennifer385jj I was today years old when I found out Stan Lee makes a cameo in Princess Diaries 2. Are Princess Mia and Genovia in the Marvel Cinematic Universe???0000 www 1:01 PM 5/29/20 Twitter for iPhone

8.

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9.

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10.

Font - AlvPerG Follow @gabrielalvper I was today years old when I found out the "L" in "Staples" in really a half open staple STAPLES 11:53 AM - 17 Jun 2018 4 Retweets 19 Likes

11.

Text - good ol joles @JolanBiokua Just found out when someone tells you to "break a leg" in an audition it is because they are hoping you end up in the cast. Now my head is exploding

12.

Text - SIR JOHN Follow @JIGGAA I was today years old when I found out when someone says “hold your horses" they're telling me to be stable 9:06 PM - 12 Jun 2018 4 Retweets 5 Likes

13.

Today Years Old @todayyearsoldig How old were you when you found out the houses in Bikini Bottom are car mufflers that fell into the ocean due to pollution? 34K 4:14 AM - Oct 17, 2018 14.7K people are talking about this

14.

Snack - BG @baybee_giant I was today years old when I found out the green haribo gummy was strawberry flavored 42238 30183 2 Raspb rry Lemon Orange Strawberty NATURA

15.

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16.

Text - @y_usraa If you want to have your mind blown: John Cena and Jackson from Hannah Montana are the exact same age John Cena / Age 43 years 23 April 1977 Spouse: Elizabeth Huberdeau (m. 2009-2012) Height: 1,84 m Jason Earles / Age gettyimages Enc MoCan 43 years 26 April 1977 Spouse: Katie Drysen (m. 2017), Jennifer Earies (m. 2002- 2013) 9:28 AM · 5/24/20 · Twitter for iPhone

17.

Text - Today Years Old @todayyearsoldig The KFC twitter account only follows 11 people. The 5 spice girls & 6 guys named herb. This is bc of their "secret blend" of 11 herbs and spices. The 1st person to notice and point this out was sent a painting of himself holding a drumstick while riding piggyback on the Colonel. YUP

18.

Text - WE HATE POPO @darawrXD i was today years old when i found out that pictures from the Civil Rights Movement were originally taken in color and purposefully shown to us in black and white to make us think it was a long time ago I.U.E. MARCH JOBS FOLL OUMENT NOW! HONOR IN N ENO HONOR KING: END RACISM KINE ENO RACISH tu

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Twenty-Seven Miscellaneous Tidbits To Feast Your Eyes On

Behold, we have memes! We know, that’s not exactly a surprise to any of you, seeing as we specialize in memes. But either way, we hope you enjoy! Click here for more random entertainment!

1.

Text - Kevin Farzad @KevinFarzad HEY IT'S ME your facebook friend from high school who never left our hometown & thinks Olive Garden is fancy. Anyway here's a racist article 12/7/14, 10:47 PM

2.

Photo caption - when you show back up at your friend's house after getting blackout drunk and going missing I need water, a hairbrush, 24 chicken nuggets and a bible.

3.

Text - This cat came out of nowhere and tried to sell me bootleg diabeetus medicine

4.

Text - Waffles Inc Follow @TFWafeman Why the f k did we let morning people set the world's operating schedule salty-red-mage They did it while we were sleeping.

5.

Dog - marypoppinthatpussy: That piñata seems alarmed to say the least

6.

Text - crabbitscarrots asked: What is your all-time favorite chart? ilovecharts: This one still gets me.

7.

Kung fu - J2 @jtoyourhus Us leaving the party to go have sex

8.

Dish - I WOULDNT DO ANYTHING FOR AKLONDIKE BAR BUT I'D DO SOME PRETTY SHADY STUFF FOR THIS

9.

Product - Sony Announces Discreet New Flesh-Colored VR Helmet That Blends In With Your Face trib.al/ kgRGy7g OGN

10.

Text - IF YOU ARE COUGHING KINDLY TAKE A MASK AND PUT ON That emoji is not coughing

11.

Tree - when u go into a deep conversation with someone who understands

12.

Clothing - A Venezuelan chick @AVenezuelan19 If after a date, we go to your place, you take your pants off and you aren't wearing these bad boys under... then don't even ask me out.

13.

Fur - Diddy out here looking like a clit

14.

Product - Inspired by a similar plan in Canada, police in the UK gave out free lollipops at the door of a nightclub to reduce rowdiness after closing time. The idea was that drunken, late-night clubbers wouldn't be inclined to shout or cause a disturbance while they were sucking on them. It worked. pdmp AWBE LA'O Chup Chu

15.

Text - Andrea Russett @AndreaRussett everyday i wake up shocked that i haven't lost 15 pounds overnight from the side saladi ate with my pasta dinner

16.

Mason jar - ABIGAIL @a6igai1 My boyfriend spent an hour looking for this loud frog outside in a puddle and when he finally caught him I took a pic of both of them and he literally said

17.

Cartoon - CUDDLING PRESSING MY BUTT AGAINST HIS DICK SO HE GETS A BONER ME HIM imgflip.com

18.

Vertebrate - Indian guy : blows wind into pipe snakes :

19.

Dog - Peace was never an option

20.

Meal - people in movies have this kind of breakfast and they only grab a strawberry and be like "gotta go hun!"

21.

Pumpkin - The perfect Jack-o'-lantern doesn't exi...

22.

Text - Emma @CampbellxEmma Thinking about how the Dutch police arrested a bird for taking part in a robbery, put it in a jail cell with bread and water & when the media reported on it they put a little black bar over the face to protect its identity Foto: Instagram Politie Utrecht Centrum 4:06 p.m. 29 Sep. 19 Twitter Web App I DONT KNOW IF THATS TRUE BUT I'm laughing too much TO CHECK. SRGRAFO

23.

Barechested - When he calls me baby in front of his boys @FIRST.2.THIRST

24.

Product - Two collided bullets from the Battle of Gallipoli, 1915-16 krypteia77: allamericankindofguy: What are the odds. This is equivalent to winning the lottery three days in a row. Source: brettsrandom 46,587 notes

25.

Technology - the queen has breached containment

26.

Text - lorr @LorraineYe it was my nephew's 100 day and none of us were worthy appy 100 day tuet, Noah Y u may approach XXXII IXII one days

27.

Text - Mx. Mel @pneumajustice Maybe the problem isn't that you need more coffee, maybe the problem is that you require a central nervous system stimulant to robotically sustain a constant work output so that you can conform to unrealistic capitalist standards of labor & maintain profitability to corporations 8:25 AM 2/6/19 ·

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Jake Paul Releases Statement After Being Filmed With Looters In Arizona Mall

As protests and riots rage in every corner of the United States, Youtuber Jake Paulapparently couldn’t resist pulling some predictably heinous shit. The problematic 23-year-old (and millionaire) was filmed among a group of looters in an Arizona mall – even caught on camera accepting stolen vodka from a looted P.F. Chang’s. The videos, which were filmed by his photographer and videographer Andrew Blue, were not received well by the internet. 

Much of the backlash involves the immense insensitivity of hijacking what is supposed to be a peaceful protest regarding the treatment of Black Americans, and specifically last Monday’smurder of George Floyd in Minneapolis by police officers. Many people feel that Paul, and other people who are using the protests as an excuse to loot and set things on fire, undermine the the purpose of the demonstrations and shows of support. In response to the backlash, Jake Paul released at statement on social media, claiming he took no part in the looting – and that he and his friends were there to share the experience. 

The apology is definitely garnering some violently rolled eyes, especially considering the footage that is public for the world to see. It wouldn’t be the first time that Jake, or his equally dense brother, Logan, seemed to use a tragic and serious situation to boost their clout. Sadly, it probably won’t be the last. 

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Text - Jake Paul @jakepaul To be absolutely clear, neither I nor anyone in our group was engaged in any looting or vandalism. For context, we spent the day doing our part to peacefully protest one of the most horrific injustices our country has ever seen, which led to us being tear-gassed for filming the events and brutality that were unfolding in Arizona. We were gassed and forced to keep moving on foot. We filmed everything we saw in an effort to share our experience and bring more attention t

7.

Text - Dr. Fresch @DrFresch when did Jake Paul learn how to use semicolons Jake Paul O @jakepaul · 22h most horrific injustices our country has ever seen, which led to us being tear-gassed for filming the events and brutality that were unfolding in Arizona. We were gassed and forced to keep moving on foot. We filmed everything we saw in an effort to share our experience and bring more attention to the anger felt in every neighborhood we traveled through; we were strictly documenting, not 6:13 PM

8.

Text - inabber @iNabber69 with this jake paul looting "situation" - I'm mainly just confused to who goes looting and decides the thing they're going to take is PF Changs vodka 9:18 AM · 6/1/20 · Twitter Web App

9.

Text - George Was Murdered. @SM_Creepshow i just woke up and i still think jake paul should go to fucking jail. end of discussion. 6:47 PM · 5/31/20 · Twitter Web App

10.

Text - Jesse Cox @JesseCox Understanding why some of those without a voice who have peacefully protested the same injustices for years, would be so angry they'd act out in negative ways, does NOT mean you support setting cities on fire. THAT SAID, fuck the Jake Paul's of the world for abusing this outrage 5:27 PM · 5/31/20 · Twitter for iPhone 4842

11.

Text - lord jozie @jozie_ramone Replying to @shehadeh_salem The four white people of the ароcalypse 1. Wheel chair McGee 2. Sword man 3. Final boss beach bro 4. Jake Paul She stabbing people

12.

Text - aidan O @aidan jake paul looting is just another example of white men ruining everything 6:03 PM · 5/31/20 · Twitter for iPhone

13.

Text - NERD CITY @nerdcity As much as everyone wants to trash Jake Paul specifically for joining the riots, he's acting like a lot of folks. Thrilled by the spectacle, recording incriminating videos, lying about his intentions for being there, and blowing off steam about the pandemic and the lockdown. @jakepaut

14.

Text - Jenny Nicholson @JennyENicholson Before you assume the worst about Jake Paul mining the protests for vlog content please remember that an undercover psychiatrist hung out with him for a weekend and didn't get a gross feeling from him so he is not a sociopath 6:59 PM · 5/31/20 · Twitter for Android

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Jake Paul Releases Statement After Filmed With Looters In Arizona Mall

As protests and riots rage in every corner of the United States, Youtuber Jake Paul apparently couldn’t resist pulling some predictably heinous shit. The problematic 23-year-old (and millionaire) was filmed among a group of looters in an Arizona mall – even caught on camera accepting stolen vodka from a looted P.F. Chang’s. The videos, which were filmed by his photographer and videographer Andrew Blue, were not received well by the internet. 

Much of the backlash involves the immense insensitivity of hijacking what is supposed to be a peaceful protest regarding the treatment of Black Americans, and specifically last Monday’s murder of George Floyd in Minneapolis by police officers. Many people feel that Paul, and other people who are using the protests as an excuse to loot and set things on fire, undermine the the purpose of the demonstrations and shows of support. In response to the backlash, Jake Paul released at statement on social media, claiming he took no part in the looting – and that he and his friends were there to share the experience. 

The apology is definitely garnering some violently rolled eyes, especially considering the footage that is public for the world to see. It wouldn’t be the first time that Jake, or his equally dense brother, Logan, seemed to use a tragic and serious situation to boost their clout. Sadly, it probably won’t be the last. 

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Text - Jake Paul @jakepaul To be absolutely clear, neither I nor anyone in our group was engaged in any looting or vandalism. For context, we spent the day doing our part to peacefully protest one of the most horrific injustices our country has ever seen, which led to us being tear-gassed for filming the events and brutality that were unfolding in Arizona. We were gassed and forced to keep moving on foot. We filmed everything we saw in an effort to share our experience and bring more attention t

7.

Text - Dr. Fresch @DrFresch when did Jake Paul learn how to use semicolons Jake Paul O @jakepaul · 22h most horrific injustices our country has ever seen, which led to us being tear-gassed for filming the events and brutality that were unfolding in Arizona. We were gassed and forced to keep moving on foot. We filmed everything we saw in an effort to share our experience and bring more attention to the anger felt in every neighborhood we traveled through; we were strictly documenting, not 6:13 PM

8.

Text - inabber @iNabber69 with this jake paul looting "situation" - I'm mainly just confused to who goes looting and decides the thing they're going to take is PF Changs vodka 9:18 AM · 6/1/20 · Twitter Web App

9.

Text - George Was Murdered. @SM_Creepshow i just woke up and i still think jake paul should go to fucking jail. end of discussion. 6:47 PM · 5/31/20 · Twitter Web App

10.

Text - Jesse Cox @JesseCox Understanding why some of those without a voice who have peacefully protested the same injustices for years, would be so angry they'd act out in negative ways, does NOT mean you support setting cities on fire. THAT SAID, fuck the Jake Paul's of the world for abusing this outrage 5:27 PM · 5/31/20 · Twitter for iPhone 4842

11.

Text - lord jozie @jozie_ramone Replying to @shehadeh_salem The four white people of the ароcalypse 1. Wheel chair McGee 2. Sword man 3. Final boss beach bro 4. Jake Paul She stabbing people

12.

Text - aidan O @aidan jake paul looting is just another example of white men ruining everything 6:03 PM · 5/31/20 · Twitter for iPhone

13.

Text - NERD CITY @nerdcity As much as everyone wants to trash Jake Paul specifically for joining the riots, he's acting like a lot of folks. Thrilled by the spectacle, recording incriminating videos, lying about his intentions for being there, and blowing off steam about the pandemic and the lockdown. @jakepaut

14.

Text - Jenny Nicholson @JennyENicholson Before you assume the worst about Jake Paul mining the protests for vlog content please remember that an undercover psychiatrist hung out with him for a weekend and didn't get a gross feeling from him so he is not a sociopath 6:59 PM · 5/31/20 · Twitter for Android

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Just Give Him A Chance

Funny tweet that reads, "I feel like this skeleton wants to fuck so bad but his pickup lines are just awful" above a textbook illustration of a skeleton

He’s so lonely.

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Forty-Three Random Memes To Give Your Brain A Boost

Sometimes you just need a little dumb humor as a distraction from life. If now is one of those times for you, then you’re in luck, because we put together this whole gallery of dumb memes for you!

1.

Food - SHARE IF YOU LOVE PIZZA OR BONDAGE BDSM, ETISH

2.

Water resources - GO AHEAD GET IN THE POND SINCE YOU WANNA ACT LIKE A SILLY GOOSE

3.

Text - * 1 73% I 20:17 Tweet t? Chelley Ryan W #Richard4Deputy retweeted Chris Yalamov @chrisyalamov #alevels2020 Year 13: I'm actually going to study for exams Boris: cancels exams with no clarity on what's next Year 13: well now I am not going to do it Tweet your reply

4.

Cat - Men after 40 in social networks be like

5.

Text - Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank... The rabbit says, I think I might be a type o.

6.

Text - Me talking to the sink full of dirty dishes every night I'm going to bed. Fuck the lot of you.

7.

Fictional character - Bart Bart Bart BARTENDERS Bart "Bart Bart Bart Bart Bart Bart Bart Bart Bart

8.

Floor - How to keep the cat downstairs

9.

Text - I cant remember how to write 1,1000, 51, 6 and 500 in Roman Numerals IM LIVID

10.

Adaptation - "I know I've been an asshole most of my life, but I need your help"

11.

Food - I'm not saying the punctuation is wrong. I am saying I HOPE it is wrong. OH! OH! BOY BOY SYRUP SYRUP ORL 0Z TBAL OZ) 1.183

12.

Bird - Me secretly turned on Vampires talking about how they could kill me

13.

Cat

14.

Text - Fus Ro Dah is just yeet in dragon

15.

Jacket - 2019 2018 2017 2020

16.

Text - sluttypuffin @sluttypuffin Yeah, I'm living the DREAM: D ead inside Reconsidering my career E ating everything A complete mess Mentally unstable

17.

Text - When somebody asks me 'hows life going' LEARNABOUT GARAGES IT'S TOTALLY FUCKING FUCKED MATE, BIG TIME' A LADYBIRD BOOK theragingalcoholic fTatrwar

18.

Hair - How can you make jokes at a time like this? It's a defense mechanism.

19.

Facial expression - You know what I love about boys? Their girlfriends.

20.

Photo caption - When you dig through your grandma's old toys for an hour just to find a little dude who looks like a meme @DarthStefawn It ain't much, but it's honest work

21.

Text - I'll remember what this code does after all, I wrote it myself and it's unlikely anyone else will work on it I don't need to leave comments.

22.

Product - hidingoutbackstage dreamstime sibling-less writers dreamstime "hey sis." "hey little bro!" eremstime I'm right and I should say it fairyofsomething Wait. How are peoples with siblings greeting eachother then? astudyingreer "Hey" 99 “Hey" ככ pissbong "greetings, whore" "[fortnite dances]" Gettmtime

23.

Food - When Spotify tries to make me a Daily Mix

24.

Text - a lost fish @grumbist im VERY laid back. i only care about 2 things: every person on earth & their opinion of me the crushing psychological weight of being alive

25.

World - Argentina Are'ntgentina

26.

Recreation - When you've never ran a day in your life but there's no way you're missing a chance to get away from the wife & kids for 30 mins MGS

27.

Cartoon - The good thing about having a social life like mine is that you don't even notice that you are in quarantine

28.

Text - A spookyearp people at work: wow, you are always in such a good mood, how do you do that? me, an actually cranky, apathetic, trainwreck human: it's called manners, susan. gingerkyuketsuki "do not mistake composure for ease"

29.

Chicken - sorry my mom said no

30.

Horse - Thank God 2019 is finally over 2020 МЕ Come here! 2020 2020 ME ME

31.

Text - Clayton Cubitt @claytoncubitt YOU PROBABLY DIDN'T KNOW YOU NEEDED TO SEE PIX OF FLEXING VICTORIAN BABES BUT YOU DID 2:41 PM · 9/12/19 · Tweetbot for iOS 14.2K Retweets 40.3K Likes

32.

Text - bird cop: we found two victims, bludgeoned to death bird detective: any murder weapon found? bird cop: just one stone bird detective: *lowers shades* my god

33.

Text - Jakhari Carroll LIFT IS @jakharicarroll "You up?" Me thinking about am l up or not: a Jsdr 1 @DarJuste · 6d Bomboclaat Show this thread 10:11 PM · 3/21/20 · Twitter for Android

34.

Text - Here I sit broken hearted Tried to shit, but only farted Then one day I took a chanu Triet to fart, but shit my pants Posted in r/blursedimages by u/TagamiT O reddit

35.

Cartoon - When the sun hits your laptop screen just right

36.

Dog - drog.

37.

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38.

Text - Therapist: Can you think of anyone who is a negative influence in your life who is causing you to feel this way? Me: -Well, of course I know him. He's me. Z/9/18, 4:39 PM

39.

Logo - | would help but...

40.

Text - darjeelingandcoke-deactivated20 An ancient Greek walks into his tailor's shop with a pair of torn pants. "Euripides?" says the tailor. "Yeah, Eumenides?" replies the man. thiswillonlyhurtalittle This is so awful. It must go on to infect others.

41.

Terrestrial animal - YOu deserve s heppiness!

42.

Facial expression - When you're approaching someone in a long hallway and you're not sure when to begin eye contact 180/n sini I/sin(180/n) 90.000 MasiPobal case 65ine

43.

Tent - what can make a man run away like this ???? Maik Kho Jai E @mikegbaines It's not run, it's ran. Because it's past tents.

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Can’t Begin To Imagine

Funny tweet about what work will look like after quarantine is over.

Work is gonna be weird for a long time.

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Thirty Miscellaneous Tidbits For You To Enjoy Today

We know you could use something to laugh about right now, and because we’ve always got your back, we delivered. These memes may not be very high quality, but we’re pretty sure they’ll make you laugh. Click here for some more random entertainment!

1.

Face - J.K. Rowling Reveals That You, The Reader, Were Gay All Along Share Article: Facebook I Twitter Reddit

2.

Photo caption - Me: Don't look now but the person behind you is... My friend immediately: O C

3.

Text - When you're part of a group chat but you never actually contribute anything to the conversation

4.

Text - IT WILL END IN TEARS

5.

Ball - I'm almost certain there's an easier way to blow up a balloon Ri

6.

Text - Meet Christian singles now! JOIN NOW! spaghetticunt: sign me right the fuck up VIA DAMNLOL.COM

7.

Technology - 1 This one sparks joy. Remind Me Message Decline Acсept This one does not spark joy.

8.

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9.

Text - Tweet @Believablee I just watched a woman drink laundry detergent at Walmart. Bottle to mouth. In the isle. I said NOTHING but when we made eye contact she just gasped and was like 'IM GONNA BUY IT!' BRO IM NOT WORRIED ABOUT YOU BUYING IT WTE ARE YOU DOING ASKSKSKSKS 3:35 PM 3/7/19 Twitter for iPhone

10.

Face - when you 20 mins deep in an argument and realize you misunderstood something

11.

Dog - I was having a bad day and this dog walked to my bus stop, sat on the bench and asked me for pets

12.

Text - How's your new job sweetie? It was a tough first week but it's good grandpa drgrayfang Abe Lincoln was assassinated 2 days into his second term so you need to grow up

13.

Text - When Nance calls you a dickface in front of the neighbors for not taking out the trash Haha she's a pistol isn't she ;)~ @middleclassfancy

14.

Table - Jemele Hill @jemelehill • 10/31/18 PER MY LAST EMAIL

15.

Text - When Rick's leaves keep falling in your yard, so you blow them back into his yard when he's not home Haha take that, Rick! You bag of shit! @middleclassfancy

16.

Cartoon - the hardest prison to escape is in your mind um ok

17.

Text - rohirrimofthenorth jrr tolkien: i really love my wife. i will make her into a beautiful, unearthly half-angel princess who beat satan almost single-handedly and won an argument with the keeper of the halls of the dead jrr tolkien: i really love my best friend. 1 will make him into a grumpy old tree who never gets to the point triss19 If this isn't the best example of the difference between the relationship you should have with your wife and your best friend I don't know what is.

18.

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19.

Green - १

20.

Snout - Me: Bae talk dirty to me Bae: Sometimes I don't wipe my ass when I finish shittin Me: @officialthiscouldbeus

21.

People - me, riffy c @itsmeriffyc why does it look like khalid met you WOLF @NLSNicholas Met Khalid. Mari Marth

22.

Clothing - Me at 20 Jennifer Aniston at 50 @viralwoman LTY

23.

Product - When anyone asks me why I fell for my wife WAG

24.

Action-adventure game - YOU TALKING MAD SHIT FOR SOMEONE IN CRUSADING DISTANCE imgflip.com

25.

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26.

Human - When you're mad hungry and your food won't cooperate. @mr petty wap

27.

Text - When you're wasted and someone says they are going to Taco Bell drgrayfang "Please let me join you on this Hispanic adventure."

28.

Text - Ami @shine_with_love People who are allergic to peanuts: I can't, it'll kill me People who are allergic to gluten: I can't, it'll wreck my body People who are lactose intolerant: Humans cannot achieve immortality anyway and life not lived to the fullest is no life at allI, hand me a gallon of milk 11:21 PM 07 Oct 18 Source: whitepeopletwitter 43,226 notes

29.

Text - Me when there's drama that has absolutely nothing to do with me. I'm so excited because I love mess.

30.

Team - How my custom RPG squad looks in a cutscene

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Twenty-Nine Random Memes Meant To Decimate Boredom

Since you clicked here, it probably means you’re looking for some high-quality entertainment. Well, unfortunately you won’t find that here, but you will find low-quality entertainment, and there’s gotta be something to that, right?

1.

Organism - when I see someone from high school in a store but they don't see me yet

2.

Cartoon - Everybody Me

3.

Font - i dont struggle with anxiety it actually comes very easy to me

4.

Cartoon - -If you need me, I'm here. -If you don't, I'm still here.

5.

White - my brain every night: NO sleep. ONLY TIRED

6.

Text - being a perfectionist and a procrastinator is a shitty combo we'll get the job done perfectly but like...tomorrow

7.

Hair - you ever go to someone's house and see every family member just being happy and getting along like damn bitch y'all live like this???

8.

Cartoon - Family is still family no matter how they've hurt you @thebandoffice

9.

Adaptation - When ur at a pool party and ur the only one who feels like swimming @tank.sinatra

10.

Poster - slaps roof of brain "you won't believe how much of absolutely nothing of value or importance this baby can fit!"

11.

Room - Me, after telling my parents that my relationship is good, I'm doing financially well and that overall, things are okay And scene.

12.

Text - fool me once, shame on u. fool me twice, thats just fucked up. u know im dumb as hell. like come on

13.

Text - "No one can describe me in two words lol" The coffee machine: Cashless failure N ATE

14.

Cat - Everyone: baking homemade bread and working out during the lockdowns Me with a nonexistent sleep pattern: MemeCenter.com

15.

Text - Ihate when people ask me what l'l be doing THIS YEAR , Come on guys | don't have aNY IDEA WHAT'S HAPPENING ANYMORE

16.

Nose - When someone is crying and you don't know what to do u want water?

17.

Green - single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive

18.

Face - WHEN YOU FORGOT TO STUDY ABOUT THE PATIENT'S MEDS Patient: what is that medication for?? .. its. is for you..."

19.

Text - I AM A DUMB BITCH WITH TERRIBLE TASTE I WILL NEVER CHANGE I WILL NEVER IMPROVE THAT IS A PROMISE

20.

Text - "There hasn't been a relatable protagonist to come out of Hollywood in years." Me, an intellectual:

21.

Photo caption - I am WAY too sleep-deprived to deal with youn negativity right now

22.

Product - Me Staying up late because I want to have some kind of free time knowing l'll be exhausted the next day Me

23.

Text - anxiety brain: IM GOING TO DIE ALONE AND UNCARED FOR the other side of my brain which is wearing a hawaiian shirt: [cracks another sparkling water] yeah probably thuri-ly-made-madej TALMO 70

24.

Cartoon - Me applying critical thinking skills and going on an in-depth but intelligent tangent about an abstract subject Me turning on my turn signal S accidently because I forgot how to turn on my wipers

25.

Text - Me: *notices the smallest difference in how a person is texting me* Me: In conclusion, I'm annoying

26.

Face - created my own personal hell through poor decision making Damn.. I kinda aborteddreams

27.

Cat - "You not even watching the movie" Me: Yes I am Oczsavage

28.

Text - TASTE...TOUCH-- SMELL... HEARING-. ALL MY SENSES WERE HEIGHTENED! EXCEPT PERHAPS FOR THAT SECRET INGREDIENT CALLED COMMON SENSE!

29.

Photo caption - YOU DON'T HAVE EXPERIENCE INEED A JOB BUTI NEED TO WORK TO GET EXPERIENCE THEN WORK THATS WHY I'M HERE EXPERIENCE HOW AM GONNA GET EXPERIENCE WITHOUT A WORK WORK Cound County

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That Quarantine Life

Funny meme that reads, "Me enjoying the sleep I don't deserve after a long day of doing absolutely nothing" above a photo of a little dog lying in a bed

Don’t act like you didn’t do this today.

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Thirty-Nine Silly Memes For Bored People

These memes will lift your spirits. Well, we can’t guarantee that, but we can hope. Scroll down for some prime entertainment, and click here if you want more! You know you do…

1.

Product - Everyone:"Are you gonna continue to post shitty memes? Me: YEAH BUOY

2.

Text - Henry Sotheran Ltd @Sotherans "I bought another book" - transactional - people will ask if you REALLY need more books - reminds you of your bank balance "I paid a terrible price for this knowledge" - classy Faustian vibes - intimidating - implies all books are priceless treasures. which they are. O 69.9K 5:44 AM - Nov 5, 2019

3.

Cartoon - *May the best one win* AMDA NVIDIA. GEFORCE *autistic screeching CUDA RADEON GRAPHICS INTEL HD GRAPHICS

4.

Amphibian - Ihate when girl's friends say "you better not hurt her, or else" Imao like wtf are you gonna do Jennifer? Call me a fuckboy in a group message? Ohh i'm so scared.

5.

Pink - When you trying to buy food from your daughters pretend restaurant and she comes back saying your card was declined! First of all the service is horrible here and prices are outrageous! FRINCE

6.

Hair - When you get soap in your eye but you tryna see the demon in the shower with you

7.

Operating system - why are they stirring macaroni at 1am

8.

Hair - Me: Is this birdcage made out of nickel? Pet Store: Aluminum I think Me: So there's no nickel in this cage? Pet Store: Don't you dare! Me: It's a nickleless cage Pet Store: GET OUT! Worth it

9.

Dog - WeRateDogs® O @dog_rates This is Pixel. She was photographed before and after being told she's the best girl in the whole wide world. 13/10 suspicions confirmed 8 аро 9:10 AM · 11/18/19 · Twitter for iPhone

10.

Fictional character - KEY TO YENNEFER'S ROOM 2 KEY 2 Common item 0.UI (slavic folk musie stops)

11.

Text - Henpecked Hal @HenpeckedHal teacher: according to several preschoolers, your son has invented the word "Kinderfarten" me: that's a problem teacher: I'm glad you agree me: I invented "Kinderfarten" 8:12 AM · 11/18/19 · Twitter for iPhone

12.

Land vehicle - Sleep K.OM 8621 This is brilliant. Playing video games until 5am Sleep NOB, K QM 8621 But I like this.

13.

Text - badgirlkiki @badgirlkiki_ imagine how frustrated the cashiers at scholastic book fairs are. those kids don't understand tax. their mom gave them $20 and said “books only". they think they can get a book that's $16.99 and an eraser that's $2.99. "yeah right, idiot" the cashier has to say (by law) O 187K 12:24 AM - Nov 18, 2019

14.

Cartoon - Joe mama jokes don't work I have 2 dads Joe mama so ugly your dad married a man

15.

Text - Picaresque Thomson l @Mianmath83 Them: Very sorry, sir, we're out of maple donuts. Me: (faraway look)...that's fine...everything's fine...I have to go now.... Night descends, music playing softly. Rain starts falling. A lone figure is seen on the roof of the donut shop. 5:49 AM · 11/18/19 · Twitter for iPhone

16.

Dog - Oh god, make it stop.

17.

Text - Dios es mi droga @Lucky_Leftovers My daughter said "daddy we are not friends with Brooklyn because she said I dress weird" No questions asked now I got beef with a 4 y/o named Brooklyn and her father. I dont make the rules to this gang shit. I just play my role. 8:10 PM · 04 Jan 19 from California, USA ·

18.

Text - Teacher: "Why didn't you use the bathroom at break?" The bathroom at break:

19.

Text - bit ch tit s @borderlinemom8 Wanted: Hibernation Buddy Must be interested in laying in bed eating junk while watching Netflix. Also must love cuddles and be down with sleeping for the next five months straight. 8:31 AM · 11/17/19 · Twitter for iPhone

20.

Text - When you hear your friend say "oh yeah, that asshole over there loves blink-182" "Oh geez that's

21.

Text - Policeman: What is your name? Man: The Wizard of Oz Policeman: Your FULL name. Man: (Quietly) The Wizard of Ounces

22.

Bird - YOU TRIED SCRAMBLING THE WRONG EGG MOTHERFUCKER 35¢ leng nopeDigitalMeddle YourChlidhoodRuined.com

23.

Text - When the teacher says the test will take a hour but you finish it in 3 seconds and bring the class average down by 15% They said it could not be done

24.

Text - I want to wake up with I get up you the rest of my life at 5:00 Am Nevermind

25.

Text - Jenny Nicholson (turkey gobble go... @JennyENicholson They refuse to show us Yoda at the one age we want: whatever age his species considers the most sexy 7:01 AM · 11/18/19 · Twitter for Android

26.

Hair - i don't trust you if you think violet is not the most relatable character in history Buy Suids for Srat

27.

Text - SparkNotes @SparkNotes Ending your essay with "in conclusion" - dull | - repetitive - unoriginal Ending your essay with "that's my story and I'm sticking to it" - powerful - definitive clarifies whose story this is (yours) and what you're going to do (stick to it) 7:39 AM - 11/18/19 · Twitter Web App

28.

Text - YOU WOULON'T STEAL A MEME Photo saved to this device

29.

Text - Expat Med @DrExpat_ I LEFT MY FRONT DOOR OPEN AND MY ROOMBA JUST WENT OUT AND I CAN'T FIND IT. WHAT ARE THE CONSEQUENCES OF THIS. IT HAS NO NATURAL PREDATORS. 3:50 AM · 19 Dec 18 · Twitter Web Client

30.

Text - Rachel Therrien @riquelz96 · my dad wrote me a report card when I was 11 PERFORMANCE APPRAISAL 2-N-07 Name Rachel Therrien Using the following scale, assign a score for each of the following attributes: Very Good - 4 Satisfactory - 3 Improvement Needed - 2 Unsatisfactory - 1 Excellent - 5 Personal Habits N/A 2 Brush Teeth/Shower when asked Keeps Room Clean Helps with Chores Does homework Attitude Does not verbally harass parents Does not verbally harass siblings Does not physically harass

31.

Text - Coach KJ @CoachK_Johnson WAS IT A BAD DAY? OR WAS ITA BAD FIVE MINUTES THAT YOU MILKED ALL DAY? @memezar mil @milupton I didn't need such a personal attack

32.

Eyewear - When your car is making a really weird noise but your bank account is empty Nothing's wrong, I can'feel it

33.

Text - dustin Couch @Dustinkcouch son: thanks for takin me to astronaut practice dad i had so much fun :) buzz aldrin: this isn't a game. remember why we're doing this. son: *serious nod* moon revenge O 3,916 9:16 AM - Dec 9, 2018

34.

Hair - Normal рeople yawning Dads yawning

35.

Text - Idk who needs to hear this but this means your high beams are on and I can't see shit because of it.... EO

36.

Text - Anonymous said When's your bedtime :) pukicho Whenever I next collapse is purely up to the gods Source: pukicho 41,116 notes

37.

Machine - WANT TO HEAR SOMETHING REALLY FUN ABOUT SCIENCE? YOU WOULD. NERD. PRESS BUT ssyesq: I would love this card. urce. leanaisnotaba.

38.

Text - Ladies what do we want? Meaningful friendships! More girl nights outs! REAL HUMAN CONNECTION! When do we want it? ... well this week isn't good... I can't do anything after 8pm on a work night... ... Let me check my calendar and get back to you...

39.

Footwear - You can't just "yeehaw" away from your problems. Me: 30.00 made with mematic

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Mental Health Memes For Anyone Trying To Cope With All Of This Crap

We’re all dealing with a lot of sh*t right now, some more than others. We can’t act as your therapist, but we can bring you some relatable content. So while you try to find an actual licensed mental health professional, please take these memes as our offering to you during these trying times.

1.

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2.

Diagram - Depression Anxiety Nothing will go perfectly, so don't even try. I'm tired and nothing is worth the effort. Things must go perfectly, so I must plan endlessly. Fuck. I must plan endlessly for 8,000 things I don't have the energy for one thing, much less 8,000 things. at once. --hey,what's that shiny thing over there? x8,000 ADHD

3.

Text - Known Unpleasure @known_unpleasure me | Y asking for help COknown unploasure i trying to do everything on my own and then having a breakdown

4.

Cartoon - me watching everyone go to sleep while i stay up and overthink everything in my life Faceook: @Officialsuperficial Inst gram: @Superficialtech

5.

Cartoon - When you can tell that your mental illness is taking over your personality but you don't know how to fix it tapiokas: |dont read me like this Photos

6.

Text - suhojpg *wants to read* *doesnt read* *wants to draw* *doesnt draw* *wants to study a language* *doesnt study the language* *wants to watch new movies* *doesnt watch new movies* *wants to do stuff i like and enjoy* *doesnt* momqueer this is called depression Source: 3cbx

7.

Cartoon - My last dopamine receptor not giving up on me be like: 00 701 w HERE

8.

Text - I just need 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the mornings and then I'm recharged and ready to tackle the day

9.

Face - My family looking at my posts like..

10.

Text - Aparna Nancherla @aparnapkin www. if you can't handle me at my depression then you don't deserve me at my SURPRISE! it's anxiety now

11.

Text - When I finally start medication for my mental illness but now I can't laugh or cum It NAS MORE Fur FUN HE

12.

Text - lex @alexisscarrasco did you grow up with an emotionally unavailable parent so you craved love so bad until you eventually resented it and now when someone tries to show you love it makes you extremely uncomfortable or are you normal

13.

Text - When people ask me how I solve my problems HW sleep away all unpleasant memories!

14.

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15.

Cartoon - me after waking up from a 30 minute nap 8 hours later

16.

Text - therapist: u often use humor to deflect serious trauma me: thank u therapist: i didnt say that was a good thing me: what im hearing is u think im funny

17.

Text - Carlos Maza @gaywonk ME: I don't know why I feel so useless and depressed right now. THERAPIST: There's a pandemic. M: I think I'm just a lazy piece of shit. T: There's a pandemic. M: What's wrong with me? Why can't I just snap out of it? T: Am I muted right now? 19:09 · 5/13/20 Twitter Web App 70 Retweets 460 Likes

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Eighteen Wholesome Memes That Serve As A Breath Of Fresh Air

Once again, we could all use a good hearty distraction from all the BS happening in the world right now. So let’s not think about that and instead scroll down for some more uplifting. Click here for more!

1.

Forehead - When you had a bad day but you get a text from a friend you haven't heard from in a while: CITY OR POLICE DEPARTMENT NEW YORK HOL Look at that, you've helped me find my smile DEPAR CITY OF

2.

Text - clean slate @PleaseBeGneiss COP: *checking my license* l'm taking you downtown ME: :( [downtown] COP: one hot fudge sundae for the birthday boy ME: :)

3.

Cartoon - ... 3 PM O If you're jumping on the Avatar the Last Airbender bandwagon just because it's on Netflix, and never even watched it as a kid, let me just be straightforward... Welcome aboard! I hope you enjoy it as much as I did/ do フD

4.

Text - "Come get sum food wit me" "I'm broke." "Did i ask if you had money?"

5.

Primate - Me, with my trusty playlist A real banger Me, now adding this song to my playlist, and listening to it on repeat for a whole week A friend sharing a song with me

6.

Dog - let me present to you: dog heaven

7.

Text - When someone who is not your mom calls you handsome

8.

Cartoon - Late spring 2020 mood after cutting off all the (toxic)social apps and news.

9.

Text - rosalitadiazz annie*+ @nightshiftmp3 just found out the dude who invented goldfish crackers made them in the shape of a fish bc his wife was a pisces and he wanted to make smth for her..love is stored in the goldfish cracker 8:57 AM · 5/14/20 · Twitter Web App

10.

Text - Google i hd i hope parrallel universe me is doing okay Don q wertyuio

11.

Cartoon - Me: I have a lot of mental illnesses, dating me might get difficult. Partner: It's okay, I love you just how you are: Me: *shows symptoms* Partner: *still loves me* Me:

12.

Cat - My mom telling me she enjoyed the lunch I cooked for my family Me, who isn't a great cook but tried really hard imgflip.com

13.

Photo caption - Me: *chats with grandpa about my day and asks him how he's doing* My Grandpa: Thanks for giving this old man the best day of his life

14. Untitled

15.

Dog - When you make a nice painting and your parents hang it up and you feel nice HC

16.

Cartoon - Part time students Full time students Me finishing 1 class 2 1

17.

Cat - My Boyfriend Me whenever l'm sad

18.

Cat - When both teams type gg in the chat instead of complaining 運海海通 電海海造 1 過 २५२:

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Thirty-Nine Random Memes Perfect For Mindless Scrolling

Quarantine boredom got you down? Us too. But that’s okay, because we have literally as many memes as you could possibly ever want. Just scroll down, and then click here to see more!

1.

Canidae - 0.0000004 GB in 1969 4 GB in 2020 You must delete 5 apps to install a new one I put men on the moon

2.

Text - High Schooler: When I graduate I wanna- Army Recruiters: 2 CASUALLY APPROACH CHILD.

3.

Electronic device - The four horsemen of staying awake until 3am NETFLIX imgflip .com

4.

Face - When you flashbang yourself in a game

5.

Shoulder - lyrics in the 80s lyrics now never gonna give you up never gonna let you down never gonna run around and desert you never gonna make you cry never gonna say goodby imgflip.cnever gonna tell a lie and hurt you he's mad she's mad don't care ha ha

6.

Fictional character - My Gaming PC Other Gaming PCs

7.

Adaptation - 10 y/o me putting all the animations in every single slide in PowerPoint. SHS

8.

Font - EYE TEST If you see this watermelon as: RED - You're angry Green - You're sick Blue You feel like you have no purpose on life and are just searching for somone to love you the way you love them

9.

Text - YouTuber Skyrim Grandma announces she is scaling back streams for the sake of her health after receiving onslaught of patronizing comments vg247.com/2020/05/25/sky... Traduire le Tweet made with mematic

10.

Hair - Pizza rolls in the oven VS. the microwave

11.

Text - Doctor: Hi, how are you? Patient: I'm doing good thanks Doctor: get the fuck out then

12.

Shoulder - Reddit watermark ifunny.co watermark

13.

Helmet - Its a PNG, I'swear! Peddetock2007 Youtre lying!

14.

Sky - How many rounds can you go? O 1,970 27942 12.1K AJ @ifrizzzle Replying to @lovelylatina If I get the ray gun from the mystery box, then about 45

15.

People - ME MY OTHER 200 GAMES THE SAME TWO GAMES I ALWAYS PLAY imgflip.com

16.

Text - woke_space_jesuit.exe @piag. 19h v T regret to inform you that Pope Francis is a weeb A America Magazine O @a. · 19h Pope Francis arrives Japan and declares: "Ever since I was young, I have felt a fondness and affection for these lands. americamagazine.org/faith/2019/1... 32 27 1,219 O 7,905 Ignorant Lad @IgnorantLad 5h So you're telling me that he has the power of God AND anime on his side?

17.

Mammal - i ICANHASCHEEZBURGER? • 1 MIN READ You Can Now Become Your Cat By Turning His Photo Into An Incredibly Realistic Mask Identity theft is not a joke, Jim. Millions of families suffer every year.

18.

Text - Connor Stone @connorstonehere Agent: I have the perfect role for you. The movie's called Ocean's Eleven. Brad Pitt: Can I eat in it? Agent: Uhh sure. So we already have George Clooney and- Brad Pitt: Every scene. Agent: What? Brad Pitt: I. Want. To. Eat. In. Every. Single. Scene. 10:25 AM · 07 Feb 20 · Twitter for Android

19.

Text - When you are on appear offline and somebody messages you "I know you're on"

20.

Product - Tech Youtuber Starter Pack Most of their shots look like this Owns this car [hamypion Uses these keyboards Required Their setups B-Roll looks like this EN iroman

21.

Product - KG 0 POUNDS INCHES CM °F I. °R °RA

22.

Facial hair - PROFILE TAGGED PASSPORT РHOTO РHOTO РHOTO G2A

23.

Barechested - we are all going to look like Christian Bale when we get out of quarantine. One way or another

24.

Yellow - @_fluoreszent 2020 Emergency Phone Not Installed Please Do Not Have An Emergency At This Location

25.

Face - Respectful Memes @RespectfulMemes 11. There are special spoons to weigh small frogs. 05 4:45 PM - May 25, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone 166 Retweets 980 Likes Benne @Beboard_ · 3m Replying to @RespectfulMemes

26.

Face - CoD players You *Uses a meta weapon* WHAT AFUCKING PUSSYASS BITCH *Plays even moderately well using any obscure weapon* WHAT AFUCKING PUSSY ASS BITCH *Plays the game in any way, shape or form* WHAT AFUCKING PUSSYASS BITCH

27.

Face - A good pirate never takes another person's property!

28.

People - Other people during pandemic: *panicking* Me: These people have no idea how to live without money. FAKIN 1862 They're what's called "new poor." ... We're old por.

29.

Cartoon - When I'm getting scolded but the TV is still on

30.

Airline - Everybody gangsta Aerolineos Argentinos Til the airplanes start flapping

31.

Action-adventure game - Middle schooler finally learning negative numbers Irrational Imaginary numbers numbers Transfinite numbers Нурerreal numbers Surreal Infinitesimals Letters numbers

32.

Physician

33.

Cartoon - when you are trying to explain something and start to wonder if you know what the fuck you are talking about

34.

Cartoon - What year is it? 50 B.C. What does B.C. stand for? Before Christ 8memes Who is Christ? No f cking clue mate

35.

Cartoon - Gus @kurahsama · 5s The homies: Bro, just shoot your shot she's 100% into you Also the homies: Five hundred yen says he gets.rejected at full power.

36.

Technology - CRAFIY.DIPLY.COM Man Spends Entire Month Proposing To Girlfriend Without Her Knowledge THE TRICKSTER

37.

Cartoon - When it's 2001 and your homie is telling you all of the GTA: San Andreas cheat codes

38.

Text - When your remote is acting up so you lift it higher for better connection

39.

Face - What's the worst pronunciation of your name you've ever heard? Saad Ashfaq @jhaatlyf Sad as fuck

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Spicy Memes & Tweets For The Savagery-Deprived

What if memes, but spicy? These tweets, memes, and pics aren’t going to get you in any trouble but they’re definitely not G-rated. And if they don’t satisfy your edgy cravings, there’s a whole lot more where these came from in this gallery.

1.

Face - Miranda Sun (semi-hiatus) @her... 17h Yesterday, I finally achieved what every single college student in America has dreamed of, yet can only hope will happen to them. That's right. I got run over by a bus on campus t14,271 182 20.2K

2.

Gun - Meal team six

3.

Chin - Google How long did the Soviet Union last? SHOP IMAGES ALL NEWS VIDEOS MAPS The Soviet Union 1922-1991 (69 Years) Nice

4.

Mode of transport - Me taking care of my fields "Video Games Cause violence"

5.

Facial expression - Two Cowboys were lost in the desert and were starving hungry Finally, they see a tree in the distance draped in bacon. "Look!" says one cowboy. He runs to the tree but suddenly "It's a bacon tree, we're saved!" is shot down in a hail of bullets. With his last dying breath. he says: "It's not'a bacon tree.. it's a ham bush."

6.

Text - Allison @AllieLia A woman is sitting at her deceased husband's funeral. A man leans in to her and asks, "Do you mind if I say a word?" "No, go right ahead", the woman replies. The man stands, clears his throat, says "Plethora", and sits back down. "Thanks", the woman says, "that means a lot"

7.

Text - Kung Fu Kassy @Kassyworms My 5 year old niece saw the blue deer on my shirt and was like "awww it's a boy deer!" I took the opportunity to be like "Or it can be a girl deer! Girls like blue too, Olivia" She stared at me and was like "I said it's a boy because it has antlers." Take my degree away now.

8.

Text - Chandler Gilliatt @Giderah You: handjobs Me, an intellectual: beef jerkies

9.

Hair - Sexting is all fun and games until you accidentally text your mom: "Turn my throat into a daycare tonight." @Sex.Laughs Huge mistake. Huge

10.

Cartoon - JUST HIT IT AGAIN RUPERT, THE TV IS ACTING UP! 2) W W W.THINGS INSQUARES C 0 M BONUS: THINGSINSQUARES.COM/COMICS/HIT- TV

11.

Cartoon - When you fap five times a day for years, finally get a GF and still nut in 30 seconds @my.netwremepire YEARS OF ACADEMY TRAINING WASTED!

12.

Facial expression - White Guys: Getting upset.* Drywall:

13.

Text - When you make your buddy a drink with 98% whiskey and 2 % coke. l pulled a little sneaky on ya

14.

Text - When she tells you to go deeper Pikachus Lu11 HP 25/ 32 EXP There's no PP left for this move!

15.

Hat - WHEN HE STARTS JERKIN' IT ON HIS OWN BECAUSE YOUR HAND IS TIRED.

16.

Hair - Just saw this shit on Instagram. Goodnight.

17.

Jaw - Parasite: *steals essential nutrients from host* Host: *dies* Parasite:

18.

Joint - When you find out they aren't serving alcohol at your nephew's 5th birthday drgraylang ES LATER HOMO H.sapiens (modern h

19.

Digital compositing - P'll help you hide the body just say the fuckin word

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Thirty-Four Miscellaneous Memes To Defeat The Blues

Let’s face it: you’ve got the blues, we’ve got the blues, we’ve all got the blues. Everything sucks right now and we’re just thankful for the existence of memes. Let’s all pour one out for memes.

1.

Product - "Can one of y'all wipe my ass?"

2.

Face - Wife : While we're out let's stop by Wal-Mart Me :

3.

Cartoon - The problem isn't a shortage in toilet paper. The problem is people taking more than they need. Supermarkets: People: *Realising the same logic applies with other resources.* The 1%:

4.

Product - Me fixing my life @CabbageCatMemes

5.

Text - Ja Rule O @jarule · 3d If y'all need me l'll be in Alaska... Q 244 27437 ♡ 2,105 Kokain Dawkins @kokain_dawkins Replying to @jarule Nobody has needed you since 2005 bro

6.

Asphalt - 130 My dude is washing the ground... In the rain... And that's what it's like to be in the Army.

7.

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8.

Management - MOS sarcasmmother Thave trust issues but Putin is on another level #FHV

9.

Wrestling - @the.atomic.elbow Me Toilet handles ue

10.

Text - Ernie informs Bert who's gonna give it to him

11.

Dinosaur - Oh shit! The economy!!

12.

Text - If Frodo fit the ring perfectly into his butt would he disappear or would his poop vanish temporarily as it passed through? Me: The cashier at Target:

13.

Mammal - How I show up to a job interview knowing I used the word "orchestrated" on my resume. @StupidResumes

14.

Photo caption - If God, made a man, in his own a image, why aren't we all, like.invisible? Father Guido Sarducci CJ Kalish

15.

Furniture - Pillow fort couch AYEND

16.

Facial expression - Now that I have children I really understand the scene in Return of the Jedi where Yoda is so tired of answering Luke's questions he just up and dies.

17.

Action-adventure game - When you're done looting dwemer ruins

18.

Yoda - Checking up on that one Ex You Dead yet Bitch made with mematic Pictune Quotes & Creator App

19.

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20.

Hat - When your son finds some cool rocks on your nature hike They were like golden nuggets to that boy.

21.

Games - All Dogs Heaven EXCEPT FOR THOSE CLASS TRAITORS IN THE PAW PATROL

22.

People - SETHWAR

23.

Text - amazingmars self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the Fucking void A the-official-nasa May we suggest a Soothing Bath™ instead Source: amazingmars 481,817 notes

24.

Media - Ehe HARD Times The Hard Times @REALpunknews Report: 78% of American Corporations Living Stimulus to Stimulus の Walmar hevn Exenti onMo at&t MorganChase b herrca ConocoPhitips Report: 78% of American Corporations Living Stimulus to Stimulus thehardtimes.net 9:00 AM · 28 Mar 20 · Buffer

25.

Text - I know this. When this ends- AND IT WILL-every game will sell out, every restaurant will have a 2-hour wait, every kid will be glad to be in school, everyone will love their job, the stock market will skyrocket, every other house will get TP'd, and we'll all embrace and shake hands. That's gonna be a pretty good day. Hang in there, World.

26.

Text - FUCK 2019 SHEERS TO 2020 10 Haunting Photos Taken Moments Before Disaster 1,852,483 views 2K I 610

27.

Dog - The Thirteen Colonies: *throws tea into the ocean* The British Empire: do u wanna fucken go? lean in_my_terea

28.

Nose - "Real Fact #1470 Of the 193 members of United Nations, Britain has Invaded 171 of them. Get all the "Real FactN' at smaple Britain:

29.

Cartoon - when your opponent is better than expected.

30.

Text - God: I made Eve for you and these animals so you wouſdn't be alone Adam: And who is that in the lake God: I don't know. She was there when I got here

31.

Door handle - Just pulled the door handle off, safe to say the fucker was as surprised as I was..

32.

Text - the drake gatsby 8 @DrakeGatsby Me: Man T-Rexes looked so col Scientist: Nah actually they looked like giant idiot birds Me: Oh bummer. They were great hunters tho Scientist: There's evidence they were scavengers Me: Ok maybe just stop ruinin- Scientist: They wore socks with sandals

33.

Product - 181 E 281 3B 2 481 25 2A1 3AT AAT 2446 Amazon Announces Unlimited Time Off, Increased Health Benefits For All Warehouse Robots

34.

Text - The food that's left at the supermarket during a panic, that's what dating in your 30s is like.

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Fresh Tweets That Reflect These Crazy Times

Listen. We get it. Things are pretty tough right now. We’ve all got cabin fever and are extremely tired of seeing everyone and their mom share pictures of the sourdough starters and banana bread. But. Looking at Twitter, and all its wonderfully relatable self-deprecating gems, we’re definitely not alone. We’re sure there’s a tweet or two in here that you relate to. And if not? Well, you just occupied yourself for about five minutes. Congratulations.

1.

Text - Matt. @MattTheBrand fun ways to improve your mental health (i think) - go for a walk make small useless purchases - sip coffee on a porch - pet a cute animal - - revenge | 6:48 PM · 5/22/20 · Twitter for Android

2.

Text - Simon Holland O @simoncholland Glad Marshalls is reopening, summer wouldn't have been the same without some slightly irregular fashions and obscure snacks. 5:43 AM · 5/19/20 · Twitter for iPhone

3.

Text - nige, cardigan aficionado @sensual_dad a sourdough starter is just an artisanal tamagotchi for millennials 8:08 PM · 5/21/20 · Twitter for iPhone

4.

Text - fat belly shar @Sharbillionaire My baby brother has a stutter and sometimes gives up saying what he wants to say when he sees people are getting impatient but talks my ears offf. A few days ago we're talking and he says "you understand me" with teary eyes. Guysss, idk if it's possible to feel anymore love 10:16 AM · 21 May 20 · Twitter for iPhone

5.

Text - Jessie @mommajessiec My husband said he did a double take of me when he first met me but l've also seen him do a double take of a free pile of dirt. 8:43 AM 5/8/20 - Twitter for iPhone 255 Retweets 1,467 Likes Dog Lover @DogLovinBear 8h Replying to @mommajessiec Wait, FREE dirt? 21 piscadoro @piscadoro - 8h Replying to @mommajessiec and @justmiche74 Where was the free dirt, do you think it's still there

6.

Text - tom @pilau daddy bear: who's been sleeping in my bed? mommy bear: who's been sleeping in my bed? baby bear: why are you in separate beds wtf 4:31 PM · 5/20/20 · Twitter for iPhone

7.

Text - WTFDAD @daddydoubts 3yo: look mom l'm a bartender! Wife: you're a pretend bartender? 3yo: no l'm a real bartender! Me: he's not lyin this old fashioned is on point. 5:48 PM · 5/22/20 · Twitter for iPhone

8.

Text - Anna @AnnaDoesntWant2 An Israeli professor was bored during quarantine so he invented a rapid coronavirus breathalyzer test that is 90% accurate. When I'm bored during quarantine I eat cookies. 4:43 AM · 5/22/20 · Twitter for iPhone

9.

Wildlife - Katie Didn't @Pork_Chop_Hair When a friend laughs at your joke and you are also laughing, that's the moment: That's when you go in for the kiss. 3:43 PM · 1/2/19 · Twitter for iPhone

10.

Text - The Alex Nevil @TheAlexNevil *musicians on Titanic ask panicking passengers for requests *in the distance, someone yells "Freebird" 3:17 PM · 5/22/20 · Twitter for iPhone

11.

Text - Ms Evilroyslade TM @msevilroyslade I put on mascara to go to the supermarket today, like some sort of shameless, pandemic hussy. 6:32 AM · 4/16/20 · Twitter for iPhone

12.

Fish - Uncle Duke @UncleDuke1969 wife: okay, who wants the last cook- me: 12:26 PM · 5/22/20 · Twitter for iPhone

13.

Text - Son of Dad @ThugRaccoons ) The butterfly, uh uh that's old, let me see your tootsie rol| Me: Oh hell yeah! Time to hit the dance floor!! *instantly tears ACL* 7:07 AM · 1/4/18 · Twitter for iPhone

14.

Text - Steve @AnExocticBeach I walked by my scale today and relatively sure it mumbled "oh fuck no" 1:41 PM · 4/9/20 · Twitter Web App

15.

Text - Divergent Mama @Divergentmama Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered, I have fought my way here to the summer break beyond homeschool. 6:06 AM · 5/22/20 · Twitter for Android

16.

Text - but did u cherish @butdiducherish The best way to feel better about your kids being terrible sleepers is to surround yourself with friends whose kids sleep worse than yours. Stay tuned for more tips on pretending things are good. 7:27 AM · 5/22/20 · Twitter for iPhone

17.

Text - Mommy Needs A Life @mom_needsalife My son heard me saying that I want to get a new love seat. He keeps calling it a love couch and now it just sounds dirty. 7:45 AM · 5/22/20 · Twitter for iPhone

18.

Text - Darlin' Darla @Darlainky Coming out of lockdown with the vivaciousness of a long-hibernated, hungover, fattened-up, still tired beast. 12:08 PM · 5/22/20 · Twitter for iPhone

19.

Text - Ham on Wry @realHamOnWry I bought a volumizer shampoo to make my hair look thicker, but all it did was create a poofy edge around my bald spot like a fairy ring in the lawn. 9:33 AM · 5/22/20 · Twitter for iPhone

20.

Text - Worst Cass Scenario @WorstCassie Just once l'd like to go to the beach at sunset with a sheer bathing suit, covered in sequins and seafoam, with a professional light kit and a camera crew to capture the glorious moment a wave destroys 7 hours of hair, makeup and spray tan. 3:35 PM · 5/22/20 · Twitter for Android

21.

Text - BRIANIAC® @BGH70 Lie to me like you're an hour long infomercial. 11:30 AM · 5/22/20 · Twitter for iPhone

22.

Text - Starring Michelle @starringmichel Thelped my kids build a fort. Once established, they put up the following sign and announced "None of your features can enter these parameters! ...I don't know what that means, but I mean it!" It you need totell us Something, knock on the pin k Chair and we'll open Up.

23.

Text - Miss V @MissV12345 An out of state friend recently said to me, "Everyone in LA should have a dashcam" I responded, "We do, but we all keep them front facing to take selfies while we drive' 11:30 AM · 5/22/20 · Twitter for Android

24.

Text - Joel Hiller @joel_hiller I think if I had to sum up ldaho in one image it would be the family I just saw out in their yard with two toddlers in swimsuits. It's 45 degrees. 10:32 AM · 4/18/20 · Twitter for Android

25.

Text - Simon Holland O @simoncholland With many traditional summer activities cancelled my kids are excited for more time to dedicate to leaving the door open. 9:28 AM · 5/20/20 · Twitter for iPhone

26.

Text - Matthew A. Cherry O @MatthewACherry Mike looked like an extra in Shawshank Redemption right here KB24 Forever @FastTimesAtRF · 5/10/20 The infamous Canadian tuxedo mike had on Imao 6:16 PM · 5/10/20 · Twitter for iPhone

27.

Text - Christy @CheeseDaydreams Imiss girls' nights. Drinking tequila and telling my dog about the benefits of my current IUD just isn't the same. 1:30 PM · 5/21/20 · Twitter for Android

28.

Text - Ashley Nicole Black O @ashleyn1cole How is FedEx still trying to pull "we tried to deliver but you weren't home?" I'm the most home l've ever been. 2:57 PM · 5/22/20 · Twitter Web App

29.

Text - Simon Holland @simoncholland Me: *Staying inside all day and seeing no one because we are in quarantine* Wife: Is that what you are going to wear? 6:00 AM · 5/22/20 · Twitter for iPhone

30.

Text - Max, my name is Max @RunTheMouth I was working in a movie theatre in France, a customer started an argument with my manager, who was a highly functional alcoholic and did not give a fuck about pleasing Karens. She stupidly went "the customer is king", to which he replied "we're in France, we decapitate kings." 4:28 am · 23 May 20 · Twitter Web App

31.

Food - nathan @868nathan My plans 2020 IT 1920407 17-11 H AL DANSK ish Butter Gookies

32.

Text - daniela @ayyydaniela Me: "Im so forgiving, I dont hold grudges" Also me: 1:56 Replied to your story highlight Replied to your story highlight But all ur angles are good Double tap to like Back in 7th grade you fat shamed me and humiliated me in front of everyone pretending there was an earthquake when I fell. Replied to your story highlight Hop out of my DM's bitch

33.

Food - madison is skating @madibskatin day one of my zero waste journey! used my pasta water from breakfast to make my coffee

34.

Text - Cydni Beer @cydbeer "Quarantine has brought us closer together than we've ever been before." - My Thighs

35.

Text - James Breakwell, Exploding Unic. @XplodingUnicorn 5-year-old: *makes matching friendship brackets for me and her* Me: Aww. Thank you. 5: We're in a gang now.

36.

Text - Ashley Fern O @disco_infern0 "Should I workout or drink?" | say to my dog as I pour a glass of wine

37.

Rat - NxbodyNewsTM @NxbodyNews BREAKING NEWS Meet The Rat Who's Paid Minimum Wage To Chew Holes In Kanye's $3000 T-Shirts Professor Barclay @AlbertBarclay69 Peak capitalism is not immediately knowing if this is satire

38.

Couch - origami-zombie My mom crocheted a blanket, and one of the cats kept trying to lay on it the whole time she was working on it and every time she put it down. So she used the extra yarn to make him a tiny one and he loves it so much

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Irritating Times Students Encountered Toxic Nonsense

This Twitter thread serves as a collection of times that students encountered challenges, adversity, from teachers or classmates. If anything, it can serve as a valuable reminder to stay true to yourself, and not let any of the haters get ya down. There will always be someone around ready to crack the next joke or laugh at your expense. Who cares? 

This Twitter thread serves as a collection of times that students encountered challenges, adversity, from teachers or classmates. If anything, it can serve as a valuable reminder to stay true to yourself, and not let any of the haters get ya down. There will always be someone around ready to crack the next joke or laugh at your expense. Who cares? 

1.

Text - Justin Boldaji @justinboldaji I became radicalized when I was in 4th grade & I took a science test & studied hard for it & ended up completely acing it but when I was done with the test I was bored & drew monsters in the margins of the paper & my teacher gave me a 90 out of 100 because of the monsters

2.

Text - bloop. @hibanako Replying to @justinboldaji i had a 7th grade english teach who told me to turn in an assignment i had already turned in and i told her and she literally yelled at me that i didnt and told me if i did to find it then and it was like the 10th one

3.

Text - (goth) Kassa @kassaotaku Replying to @justinboldaji My Spanish teacher in 10th grade, made us do 12 questions of a test in a 1-20 question Scantron then made us do the other part of the test on another Scantron but starting at 13, then made us do another 15Q in a bigger one, Then take everything and put it in a single Scantron

4.

Text - ダークソール @DarkSoul4242 Replying to @justinboldaji (English as a second language) I got once sent to the principal's office for talking back when my English teacher said "I am been" or "I will can" pointed out it was "I have been" and "be able to", she got hysteric and straight-up gave me Os for the whole year, dividing my grades

5.

Text - Sparrow/Liz : liminal nest @UntoNuggan Replying to @justinboldaji Context: My mom is from the UK, my dad from the US, I grew up in the US with children's books from both countries In kindergarten I kept getting marked wrong for writing "colour" and I was so upset, especially because I didn't realize there were US/UK spelling differences

6.

Text - rae bae @epicgringa Replying to @justinboldaji sophomore year in HS i had to write a ~persuasive essay and i didnt use the cookie cutter outline bullshit everyone used to write the paper and my teacher used my essay as an example to the class on what not to do.

7.

Text - Satan's Craft Room @CraftSatan Replying to @justinboldaji My HS vice principal interrupted my history class to share his personal story of going to UC Berkeley and being a Navy Seal. I cont to read the text. He pushed the book to the ground. Few years later he was on the news for faking credentials and lying about being in the military.

8.

Text - hrwinter @hrwinter Replying to @justinboldaji A professor gave me a failing 66 for a midterm. There were no red marks. When I went to his office hours to ask, he said it was because I only used answers from the book and not statements from his (incorrect) lectures. I'd somehow failed by not quoting him directly.

9.

Text - My Dog Eats Sticks @chetsbabe Replying to @ubersle and @justinboldaji I had an English teacher in 10th grade yell at me in class on our first research paper saying, "You can't write one sentence paragraphs." I now get paid to do so. Suck it Mr. Kidwell.

10.

Text - * marissa * @mxrivel Replying to @joshcurwin and @justinboldaji elementary school teachers are so annoying- they're teaching you basic things like writing but they will not let you do anything slightly different from what they do :/ when i was younger i wrote left handed but the teacher told me that was wrong and now i'm right handed

11.

Text - Karlie Marks @KarlieMarks Replying to @justinboldaji and @_aurely my senior thesis had a point knocked off for using the word "wed" instead of "married" even though wed fit the sentence structure better than married. also teach said she "didn't believe in perfect papers" and was really just looking for a place to dock my grade.

12.

Text - Leah @ubersle Replying to @justinboldaji In 4th grade, I answered the quiz question, "What do you call an animal that eats only plants?" as herbivore. My teacher marked it wrong and said it was 'vegetarian. I'd have taken that to the Supreme Court such was my wrath.

13.

Text - "Shine bright, circus man' @ChancellorSRA Replying to @ubersle and @justinboldaji I had a similar thing in 4th grade. Question: what do a plant's roots do? 9 yo Me: suck up water and nutrients Teacher: WRONG. They hold the plant in the ground. My mom, looking at the test answers: I... think your teacher might hate you.

14.

Text - Gillian Smith is LOCKED IN @thishere_nomad Replying to @justinboldaji My 4th grade science teacher had us make sun-cookers and my scientist parents looked at the directions and tossed them out the window for being wrong. My sun-cooker was one of two that actually worked and both of us got D's for not following directions.

15.

Text - Josh @joshcurwin Replying to @justinboldaji In second grade I took a math test, and instead of the normal 7, I wrote the kind that has the small horizontal line intersecting the vertical, cause l'd seen it in a book and liked it. The teacher marked each answer with such a 7 as wrong. 1.

16.

Text - JOI Biden 3030 @imacopyouidiot9 Replying to @justinboldaji My 1st grade teacher was teaching us math and I solved all the problems in the workbook when she was talking. She told me that "it was homework" and made me erase all my answers.

17.

Text - Mike Provencher @RevilFox Replying to @justinboldaji My 6th grade Home Room teacher had a deal where if you do all of your homework for 14 straight days, for every class, and get it signed off by every teacher, she would buy you McDonald's for lunch. I did it, and when I showed her she said, "Yeah, this deal isn't for you."

18.

Text - Brooke Zoom School of Law class of 2020 @Yarsian Replying to @justinboldaji I went to school where some teachers checked our notebooks. Like if we didn't have the notes exactly how they wanted them it would hurt your grade. Doodles were right out. So was understanding things differently. They also controlled what color folder went with what class.

19.

Text - an anthropomorphic guillotine, hungry and waiting @Queen_Antifa Replying to @justinboldaji I knew how negative numbers worked in first grade, and instead of writing 0 when we subtracted a large number from a smaller one, I wrote the correct answer. The teacher marked these as wrong and told me not to get ahead of first grade.

20.

Text - RogerStonePrisonbound! @TamarSmith3 Replying to @Damaia and @justinboldaji In 4th grade read Agatha Christie books under the table. My teacher would punish me for it. I was nine years old and reading adult books! Years later I thought how limited my teacher was for not recognizing what an advanced reader I was and encouraging it.

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