Superman That Hoe

Funny tweet that makes puns out of Soulja Boy, Dr. Dre, and Adele | Demic Soulja Boy not even a Soldier, Dr. Dre aint even a Doctor. Keep it going! @Mattmateee Adele isn't even a computer

Clever.

Submitted by: (via darkwingduckinatruck)

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What Is This ‘Happy’ You Speak Of?

Funny tweet about a kid who tells his teacher that he wants to be happy when he grows up; teacher says to parents, "We need to talk about your son's unrealistic expectations"

Happiness isn’t real.

Submitted by: (via SayGoodbyeToTHESE)

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Thirty-Eight Dumb Memes To Scroll Through While The World Burns

We’re not saying we think you should sit around while the world is clearly on fire, in fact we think everyone should get up and take action. However, when you need a damn break from all of that for five minutes, we’re here for you with memes.

1.

Technology - Life without sports

2.

Coca-cola - Rs Coca "It's just a car bro" Car people

3.

Isaac Newton demonstrating that going outside is gay (ca. 1670)

4.

Hand - If your Mam doesn't have a flip case and scrolls with her index finger is she even your ma

5.

Facial expression - Why the fuck did I have to see this Posted in r/memes by u/LiamSAD 6 reddit

6.

Hair - When u realize he's right in the argument "ok but why are you yelling"

7.

Photo caption - Dad showing other dads the ribs they grilled over the weekend

8.

Cat - Men after 40 in social networks be like

9.

Arm - When someone is making plans you have no intention of going to, so you add "what time?" For decoration

10.

Cat - awake but at what cost

11.

Bovine - DeadlyNightshade @231 Tally How can u eat these precious creatures????? YT: The Focus Group @ManLikeKofi Is this rhetorical or are you looking for recipes??

12.

Hair - Me: I'm more productive when I work from home. Me working from home: @gaybestfriend I got up. Got a latte. Went to the gym. Got a perm and came home.

13.

Text - *I'm on the phone with my mother* My friends: 'Pass me that cigarette" "Give me that beer" e123R "Sex noises" 123RF

14.

Text - TURNTDAVE® @turntdave Studies have shown that it do be like that sometimes.

15.

Text - T heard you like bad girls. Well I'm bad. At everything. *Winks at you with both eyes*

16.

Mobile phone - "How hot is it outside?" Balls It's hot as balls Today 5PM 6PM 7P 3PM 4PM

17.

Text - When you're hittin it from behind and she screams "these cheese-fries are gangsta!" Medium Small Large LOAD SIZE steelmemes10

18.

Face - Guys with the bar of soap they wash their balls with Girls with their $1,000 face wash

19.

Joint - Fragile sign: *exists* Delivery drivers: ORY 2155

20.

Text - say you aren't cute one more freaking time I dare you you're fucking cute deal with it @whole.s.ome

21.

Animated cartoon - A bad situation Me Is this Time for a joke

22.

Text - Today I am going to give it my some.

23.

Text - Checking if the guests have left so you can finally walk out of your room & eat the left over food

24.

Cat - When I try to make food at 3 am without waking my parents but I drop a spoon on the ground E

25.

Text - I WAS HAVING A PRETTY DECENT DAY UNTIL I THOUGHT OF SOMETHING I SAID WHEN I WAS 13.

26.

Text - Dani Balenson @dlbee_ Made the bed, kept cleaning the apartment, realized I hadn't seen the cat for a little bit and found him like this

27.

Organism - Girl's pockets: Guy's pockets: Girl's handbags:

28.

Text - me: *checked that the door is locked 3 times* my brain: XDoubt

29.

Cartoon - English tests in 30 years, “QUESTION 5: What is the meaning of this meme?"

30.

Cartoon - Tommy @DeathBy_Stereo how i look watching horror movies and true crime documentaries

31.

Text - TOBI @kvngfhaz Me: *bites into burger* Everything on the opposite end of the burger: TOBIOO @kvngfhaz · 19h Bomboclaat.

32.

Text - [parents aren't home] expectation: *has huge party* reality: *brings laptop to the living room instead of hiding in my room* MemeCenter.com

33.

Text - misandryad At work like Customer: why is x so much money Me: instead of asking me, the suffering proletariat ask why we continue to let capitalism do us like this. 5.38 please.

34.

Cartoon - Entering the perfume section of the mall: Finally getting out of the perfume section: Breathing is fun

35.

Text - All the knowledge available to humankind Dank Memes me

36.

Cartoon - me realizing someone was hitting on me 4 years later

37.

Water - Basic Solution Acidic Solution -75 -50 ニ25

38.

Text - when you're at the grocery store and see yourself on the security monitor

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Thirty-Three Random Tidbits We Handpicked For You

With all of the bad sh*t happening in the world right now, we just hope that you’re staying safe and staying sane. To aid in that, we’ve provided some memes for your troubles.

1.

Cartoon - If you divide 2020 by 5 you get 404, so basically this entire year is an error message. There is a glitch in the matrix. I worry about you sometimes Candace.

2.

Cartoon - George is getting a little too curious. EdHarrington.tumblr.com NCDERGHLJKI Edharmington.to ZAXI OPORSTU

3.

Text - "No thanks, I'm vegetarian" is a fun thing to say when someone tries to hand you their baby. somee cards user card

4.

Snapshot - T-Mobile 6:06 AM 62% When they tell you Evangelion is stupid Freyja33 • follow ... 5h mium BIC ALT 888 3 44 153 Share

5.

Deer - A deer entered a shop. The owner decided to give him some biscuits. He left...half an hour later he came back with the squad

6.

Font - Xx_SniperZzzxX Skullkid25 FifaFan21 Coolkid11 玩家

7.

Spider-man - lich: casts fly to get away from martial party members eagle barbarian: begins flying because he is angry lich: what in the goddamn fuck

8.

Cat - Army Air Force Me, wondering why the janitor is yelling at me You're not even real military!! H. imgfip.com

9.

Hair - Slayer' fans Slayer's singer R. THE AL TaR

10.

Text - alannamode A fun reminder that Aang was a terrifyingly powerful Avatar. Most Avatars are informed of their newfound destinies at the age of 16 to begin their training. Because of the approaching war Aang was told of his status at the age of 12. He had already mastered airbending, and in the span of a year he mastered the other three elements, the avatar state, and energybending. He also learned lightning redirection and seismic sense (a technique no previous Avatar had even encountered).

11.

Photography - NME ETFLIX THE WITCHER Playstation or Xbox? NME NETFLIX THE WITCHER PC. He is the chosen one. Posted in r/2meirl4meirl O reddit

12.

Text - Andy Woodruff @awoodruff This is a monument to potatoes. It is the best monument in Boston. РОТАТО POTATO РОТАТОES РОТАТО ΡΟΤΑΤΟ . ΡΟΤΤΟES POTATO POTATO РОТАТО POTATOES POTATO PÓTATO POTATO РОТАТО

13.

Bottle - Pi Bu The wheels on TABASCO round and reund ER

14.

Adaptation - Hello there General Kenobi

15.

People - France every time they do a revolution: YEET THE RICH THE NOJUSTICE NO PEC

16.

Text - Someone: *tells me their name* Their name in my brain 7 seconds later: Adios

17.

Sky - When all of your friends are doing massive damage and you miss. again ORD AME

18.

Photo caption - when you drop your phone so you save it by kicking it into the wall nincha

19.

Cartoon - When short people see someone shorter than them O reddit

20.

Nose - Me: I need help with the school presentation My mom: I can't, I'm cooking Me: Just pause it Listen here, you little shit

21.

Head - frightochondria @_audlout this some advanced humor lucy, @curledbitch roses are red,

22.

Dog - When someone has explained something to u 7 times and u still don't get it and u hope they forgive how stupid u are

23.

Text - marvel so the only two white actors in black panther are martin freeman, who played bilbo baggins, and andy serkis, who played gollum. so I guess that means...they're the Tolkien white guys. everywitchway I literally screamed flas this is the pun of the century

24.

Cartoon - Me: "leaving my room to socialize during social gatherings* Family: "Look who finally left their cave!" Me: *Heads back to room to avoid the unnecessary attention and mockery* Family:

25.

Photo caption - "So where are you from?" "Australia, mate." "Really? Prove it." VB

26.

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Fictional character - TA HE CLONE WARS ORIGINAL WARF CN We stand here amidst my achievement, not yours!

28.

Bird - Wizard: "Question: Can my familiar use their action to interact with an object?" DM: "Of cours...why?" Wizard's Familiar: TheArisemi Merredraid

29.

Facial expression - Learn to Make program recursive function Learn to Make program recursive function No exit condition Learn to Make recursive function program No exit condition No eit condition

30.

Text - dustin Couch @Dustinkcouch nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back early astronaut: moon's haunted nasa employee: what? astronaut: *loading a pistol and getting back on the rocket-ship* moon's haunted

31.

Hair - 2b: *is machine with feelings* Machines she kills: We have feelings too, y'know? 2B:

32.

Peach - 4-5-6Fにて インフト大軍中 を、是非ご覧下さい。 本橋 3月19日(日) 日本 駐車等 日本橋 駐車ご遠盛之ださい また、8時~16時半はバーキングチケットも。 利用できません

33.

Photography - Any real man will spot the problem with this picture. AA there is no number plate on that audi

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Po-tay-toes

Funny tweet that reads, "This is a monument to potatoes. It is the best monument in Boston" above photos of the monument

Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew

Submitted by: (via Eyduria)

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Random Weird Memes That Certainly Beat Thumb-Twiddling

Let’s just get this out of the way: 2020 has been the worst year of most of our lives to date. We’re all tired and we don’t want to think anymore. These memes aren’t much, but we hope they’ll help you temporarily recharge your brain!

1.

White - ARE YA WINNING, LOVE SON? SIMON w-what? i said, are you winning, son? i... i know, it's just... that's the first time you've called me "son"

2.

Text - Clip art - Mom: My little boy is a real angel Her little boy:

3.

Product - did you schedule an appointment INTU

4.

Barechested

5.

Text - Text - Viviane Schwarz @vivschwarz Zoom sucks, we started having editorial meetings in Red Dead Redemption instead. It's nice to sit at the campfire and discuss projects, with the wolves howling out in the night

6.

JUST OBSERVING ALWAYS SILENT ALWAYS VANISHES WHEN YOU LOOK AT HIM FOR TOO LONG ONLY YOU CAN SEE HIM NO VISIBLE EYES, BUT YOU CAN FEEL HIM IS PROBABLY THE REASON YOU RANDOMLY WAKE UP AT NIGHT LOOKING” title=”” width=”800″ height=”399″/>

7.

Text - Terrestrial animal - FELLAS if yagir has long legs! dummy thicc thighs and is vegetarian THATSNOT YA CIRL that's Apatosaurus louisae

8.

Text - lamNOTdead Just tired ugly PLEASE LET ME SLEEP!!! ilyasaurus Reblog if you, too, are not dead- only tired and ugly. duckandorpenguin same

9.

Food - 4 OPEN Gerbere Baby's first heart attack Gerber BLE Ghost Peppers 4180 7 nd ZFoods NET WT/PESO NETO 4 0Z (113g) TEAR HERE

10.

Organism - is your feline melting? or he just likes to play with the spacetime continuum

11.

Suit - ST JOHNS CHURCH PARISH HOUSE She Doesn't Even Go Here

12.

Text - Land vehicle - TIRES TIRES 20 TIRES 19" RES LOR 18" FALKE 81 UNLOT 17 RES ome IAMTUE END OF THE WORLD TDI GOLF *TEXAS MJG-7674 The Lone Star State

13.

Text - Cat - New York LIVE 10:51 PM BREAKING NEWS LOCAL CHONKY CAT TELLS TRANSPHOBES TO EAT GLASS Also demands to be told she's pretty made with mematic

14.

Motor vehicle - Total Social and Economic Collapse OBJECTS IN MIRROR ARE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR

15.

Text - Self help tip: Do one thing a day that scares you. Text someone first. Ask your crush to hang out. Purposefully irritate a wild raccoon. Fuck a cactus. The only one stopping you is yourself.

16.

Vertebrate - HUP

17.

Text - Text - Have you ever experienced... BIG BEN

18.

Food - dave just fucking died whos dave the guy we had in our basement ok chesecak chesecak

19.

Text - Sky - | scream into the void.. @surrealslapps ....and God answers with cosmic laughter

20.

Text - Portrait - When you tap your pockets and you can't feel your phone

21.

Text - Neck - You HAVEN'T TRULY EXPERIENCED TOILET PAPER. UNTIL YOU PHAVE ENJOYED IT IN THE ORIGINAL KLINGON

22.

Text - sammy @astolfoschild anime is cool cause u can watch characters do stuff that's impossible for u like using magic powers or making friends 3:34 am · 16 May 20 · Twitter for iPhone

23.

millipedes - jessicaedwardsspellingbee2000 reply with top 5 time periods you fantasize about being in fried-ferret 1-5: Early Cambrian Babey!!!!!!! Source: jessicaedwardsspellingbee2000

24.

Organism - edgy depressed dumbass bitch Hallucigenia Trilobite Habelia thot Kootenichela đeppi Wawaxia Opabinia Regalis bastard Anomalocaris Helmetia Aysheaia

25.

Text - Karl Tomlinson @KarlTO Those space X lads aren't due back for a while. Plenty of time for everyone to buy a gorilla suit and learn to ride a horse.

26.

Violet - TIME FOR WRATH

27.

Text - Text - Chakotay, look at this Icall it "timeout protocol" You'terrify me [mouthing "I'm sorry"] sometimes, Captain.

28.

Organism - millipedes 300 million years ago WILD GREEN MEMES millipedes now I am the largest terrestrial invertebrate of all time and someone touched me so I will now curl up for an hour have few, if any, predators

29.

Text - Product - what the FUCK is oatmeal

30.

Cartoon - I'm Sick Of CRYING BREAK Tired Of TRYING BREA Yeah l'm SMILING But Inside l'm DYING

31.

Adaptation - BIRDS ARE PLANTS LEAFS FRUIT SEED ROOTS WAKE UP SHEEPLE! imgfip.com

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Memes & Tweets For People With Nothing Better To Do

While many things may seem uncertain right now, there’s one thing we can definitely count on: memes. Even as unrest and illness plague the globe, meme-makers and posters are still hard at work giving us the comedy we need to survive. And we’ve got a whole lot of that comedy right here for you.

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Mammal - Me getting out of bed at 7:55 to start working at 8

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Cat - I present you: chonky cat CANKLES

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Cartoon - TONIGHT AT 1. DO00000000000000M!

27.

Cartoon - you HAVE FORGOTTEN ME SIMBA REMEMBER WHO you ARE... GET THE F@X OUT OF MY CLOUDS REMEMBER SIMBAMA DAD? @GOOFYGODSCOMICS

28.

Cartoon - CHECK OUT MY HOT NEW ROMPER | AM SO COOL AND ATTRACTIVE SADGIRL POP

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Text - I will bitch about heat. I will bitch about cold. I will bitch about sunshine, and about growing old. I will bitch about everything, inside and out. You will find there is nothing I can't bitch about.

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Roundup Of Amusing Memes To Fill The Void In Your Heart

With all of the crazy sh*t going on in the world right now, we figured you could use a distraction, and that’s where memes come in. They’re our gift to you. You’re welcome.

1.

Dog - BEWARE OF THE DOG

2.

Text - Frank Lotion @702Austin parents: "come here." me: "okay" me to myself: "they know everything. I knew that this would happen. I should have deleted everything" parents: "how do you turn on Netflix?" 10/10/18, 20:42

3.

Human - Me : i will never spend my money on stupid shit again Also me few minutes later : Ahmed@idmsf IPad

4.

Cat - This cat lost vision in one eye, but thanks to modern technology advancements, his vision was repaired

5.

Text - butasparrow: touchmypopsicle: it's kinda funny how when you get older you start to enjoy the things you hated as a kid like taking naps and getting spanked the second one was kind of unexpected but no one is disagreeing

6.

Ceiling - Become a nurse they said, it'll be fun they said.

7.

Signage - Seventh-Day Adventıst Church THE MOST POWERFUL POSITION IS ON YOUR KNEES

8.

Text - p One 99 Look at the bottom right corner That's left stupid There you go

9.

Clothing - When you wear loose boxers

10.

Text - Kaelyn @kaelyned Fellas, y'all have to try harder than a "you're pretty". The 38 yr old middle eastern men in my DMs have already written 6 poems and promised me all their assets

11.

Text - I'm not in fighting shape but this will be no problem CHRISTMAS BAZAAR & CRAFT SHOW Fight Children with Diabetes Fundraiser Sunday December 1" 10am-4pm at Royal Canada Legion 3850 Lakeshore Blvd. West Visit Santa Claus From 12pm - 1:30pm

12.

Door - Opportunity was seen and taken. Kudos to you, door installer.

13.

Rock - When your "cheat meal" becomes a "cheat life"

14.

Product - Employer: Says here you got all C's in high school Me: I identify as an A student Employer: That's not how this works IG: TheFunnyIntrovert

15.

Font - 2h 3m Member Lol 2h 3m "Co-leader Deven I know you're in the hospital and we're praying For you but you need to attack in the war

16.

Text - Me trying to flirt Hey Hey how are you? Good, how are you doing? Good thanks and you? Good and you? Good thanks Good

17.

Text - meh @bonehugsnirony me: [having a normal conversation but also wondering if bees consider us thieves or business associates]

18.

Text - I'm sorry but l've been laughing at this for ten minutes Hannah Dreier O @hannahdreier Venezuela's president, already mocked for gaining weight amid a hunger crisis, pulls out an empanada from his desk during a live TV address.

19.

Scuba diving - When you find out approximately 95% of all ocean critters remain undiscovered. Alright then, keep your sea crits.

20.

Face - I DONT KNOW I NEVER CHEATED ON YOU I LOVE YOU BABE I didn't mean to send that

21.

Text - I want to name my daughter mayonnaise and shorten it to May. May isn't short for anything so no one will ever ask what her full name is but she'll constantly live with the knowledge that she's named after a condiment. 9:03p earthdad: I'm dating a supervillian

22.

Text - 8:32 PM Google How to get flexible in 5 minutes X 8:43 PM Google How to fix a pulled muscle in 5 minutes x

23.

Text - Simon Holland @simoncholland This morning, on a whim, I decided to change my toaster setting from 3 to 4. Welcome to the new me, thanks for following my journey.

24.

Text - I guess the question I have for people who love LaCroix is have you tried any other beverages

25.

Motor vehicle - Friend: "u can't just spend ur time doing hecking sick razr tricks" Me: "skrrt skrrt MF"

26.

Hair - friend: "are you good?" me, after 4 vodka cranberries, appearing from the bathroom where I knocked over the toiletries and took five drunk selfies: @joeykerbz

27.

Text - When you ask her how her day was and she actually tells you

28.

Text - slutty satanistTM @_garbage_girl_ if i die and come back as a hillbilly is that called reintarnation

29.

Text - Congratulations Tu Youyou on winning the Nobel prize in Medicine. And also for being the most confusing person to sing happy birthday to.

30.

Cartoon - Thoughts? R @rvkhsvr when i'm having a convo past 1AM and the other person takes longer than 3 seconds to reply

31.

Transport - "You'll probably cancel last minute" Me: TRỤ TRUUUU 123RF® 123RF P123RF®

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Twenty-Seven Miscellaneous Tidbits To Feast Your Eyes On

Behold, we have memes! We know, that’s not exactly a surprise to any of you, seeing as we specialize in memes. But either way, we hope you enjoy! Click here for more random entertainment!

1.

Text - Kevin Farzad @KevinFarzad HEY IT'S ME your facebook friend from high school who never left our hometown & thinks Olive Garden is fancy. Anyway here's a racist article 12/7/14, 10:47 PM

2.

Photo caption - when you show back up at your friend's house after getting blackout drunk and going missing I need water, a hairbrush, 24 chicken nuggets and a bible.

3.

Text - This cat came out of nowhere and tried to sell me bootleg diabeetus medicine

4.

Text - Waffles Inc Follow @TFWafeman Why the f k did we let morning people set the world's operating schedule salty-red-mage They did it while we were sleeping.

5.

Dog - marypoppinthatpussy: That piñata seems alarmed to say the least

6.

Text - crabbitscarrots asked: What is your all-time favorite chart? ilovecharts: This one still gets me.

7.

Kung fu - J2 @jtoyourhus Us leaving the party to go have sex

8.

Dish - I WOULDNT DO ANYTHING FOR AKLONDIKE BAR BUT I'D DO SOME PRETTY SHADY STUFF FOR THIS

9.

Product - Sony Announces Discreet New Flesh-Colored VR Helmet That Blends In With Your Face trib.al/ kgRGy7g OGN

10.

Text - IF YOU ARE COUGHING KINDLY TAKE A MASK AND PUT ON That emoji is not coughing

11.

Tree - when u go into a deep conversation with someone who understands

12.

Clothing - A Venezuelan chick @AVenezuelan19 If after a date, we go to your place, you take your pants off and you aren't wearing these bad boys under... then don't even ask me out.

13.

Fur - Diddy out here looking like a clit

14.

Product - Inspired by a similar plan in Canada, police in the UK gave out free lollipops at the door of a nightclub to reduce rowdiness after closing time. The idea was that drunken, late-night clubbers wouldn't be inclined to shout or cause a disturbance while they were sucking on them. It worked. pdmp AWBE LA'O Chup Chu

15.

Text - Andrea Russett @AndreaRussett everyday i wake up shocked that i haven't lost 15 pounds overnight from the side saladi ate with my pasta dinner

16.

Mason jar - ABIGAIL @a6igai1 My boyfriend spent an hour looking for this loud frog outside in a puddle and when he finally caught him I took a pic of both of them and he literally said

17.

Cartoon - CUDDLING PRESSING MY BUTT AGAINST HIS DICK SO HE GETS A BONER ME HIM imgflip.com

18.

Vertebrate - Indian guy : blows wind into pipe snakes :

19.

Dog - Peace was never an option

20.

Meal - people in movies have this kind of breakfast and they only grab a strawberry and be like "gotta go hun!"

21.

Pumpkin - The perfect Jack-o'-lantern doesn't exi...

22.

Text - Emma @CampbellxEmma Thinking about how the Dutch police arrested a bird for taking part in a robbery, put it in a jail cell with bread and water & when the media reported on it they put a little black bar over the face to protect its identity Foto: Instagram Politie Utrecht Centrum 4:06 p.m. 29 Sep. 19 Twitter Web App I DONT KNOW IF THATS TRUE BUT I'm laughing too much TO CHECK. SRGRAFO

23.

Barechested - When he calls me baby in front of his boys @FIRST.2.THIRST

24.

Product - Two collided bullets from the Battle of Gallipoli, 1915-16 krypteia77: allamericankindofguy: What are the odds. This is equivalent to winning the lottery three days in a row. Source: brettsrandom 46,587 notes

25.

Technology - the queen has breached containment

26.

Text - lorr @LorraineYe it was my nephew's 100 day and none of us were worthy appy 100 day tuet, Noah Y u may approach XXXII IXII one days

27.

Text - Mx. Mel @pneumajustice Maybe the problem isn't that you need more coffee, maybe the problem is that you require a central nervous system stimulant to robotically sustain a constant work output so that you can conform to unrealistic capitalist standards of labor & maintain profitability to corporations 8:25 AM 2/6/19 ·

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Assorted Tweets For The Scroll-Hungry Masses

Want to enjoy the brief relatable magic of a well-worded tweetwithout having to enter the hideous war zone that is Twitter? We’ve got you covered. These tweets are a great mishmash of exhausted parenting anecdotes, self-deprecating tidbits, and mildly funny musings. And they’re guaranteed to help occupy your mind for a solid five minutes. Enjoy!

1.

Astronaut - nat @natbalda two happy people getting the fuck out of this world. 61 12:14 PM · 5/30/20 · Twitter for iPhone 0:

2.

Skin - colleen @Coll3enG one year since the worst spray tan of my life <3

3.

Text - Participation Trophy Wife Y @TrophyWifeDayna TiphyW I found a gray hair on my head, so l brought out the tweezers to pluck it. Except I didn't squeeze hard enough and the tweezers just ended up sliding the whole way down the hair and curled it like a ribbon. 3:41 PM · 5/30/20 · Twitter for iPhone

4.

Food - Dave Cactus @dave_cactus PBJ check. You've CuR And angther And anether Signatu FUEL the FUN MINT JELLY SKIPP CREAMY UTTER 2:26 PM · 5/30/20 · Twitter for Android

5.

Text - California Dreaming @Desert_Musings |am at my most sexiest when I have to wash my hair twice in one day because I got ranch dressing in my hair from eating wings for dinner. Line forms to the left, gentlemen. 10:37 AM · 5/30/20 · Twitter for iPhone

6.

Text - Goldfish and Chicken Nuggets @gfishandnuggets Today I learned that by rebranding chicken parmesan as "spaghetti chicken nuggets with cheese," the likelihood that my kids will eat it increases at least 5,000%. 5:32 PM · 5/30/20 · Twitter for iPhone

7.

Text - Jessie @mommajessiec If you put your ear up to an old tool box, you can hear wives of long ago nagging their husbands about when they're going to finally fix the kitchen sink. 4:18 PM · 5/30/20 · Twitter for iPhone

8.

Text - Rodney Lacroix @RodLacroix Child: I can't wait to be a grown-up. Me [tweezing my ear hairs after paying 42 credit card bills]: yeah it's fantastic 1:34 PM · 5/30/20 · Twitter for iPhone

9.

Text - Rodney Lacroix @RodLacroix SpaceX has reusable rockets that can launch, orbit the Earth, re-enter our atmosphere and land perfectly but here I am in this parking lot watching a guy try to back his F-250 into a parking spot for 20 minutes. 12:06 PM · 5/30/20 · Twitter for iPhone

10.

Text - Laura Marie @Imegordon My son asked to play chess against me because "mommies aren't good at chess," so naturally I just kicked his ass. Checkmate, son. 5:30 PM · 5/29/20 · Twitter for Android

11.

Text - Eternal Samnation @portmanteauface Went onto the dark web the other day and nobody there sells lawn darts, what a load of bullshit 6:30 PM · 5/30/20 · Twitter for iPhone

12.

Text - Dad That Writes @dadthatwrites If you've never stacked the deck so Candy Land is over in three turns, are you even a parent? 3:39 PM · 5/30/20 · Twitter for Android

13.

Text - Dan Regan @Social_Mime I don't remember someone's name ten minutes after meeting them, but I can tell you the name of a dog I met once at a friend's house in second grade. 1:05 PM · 5/30/20 · Twitter for Android

14.

Text - M @Love_bug1016 · 1d Which wine pairs best with I'm so over this fucking year? Q 397 27628 ♡ 2,242 WTF @Mhmm_ok_sure · 13h TOO A Tequila. ♡ 2

15.

Text - grace spelman @GraceSpelman started a playlist a few months ago of songs I think are truly "perfect" and al Thave right now is the Darth Vader march and "Sweet Emotion" by Aerosmith 12:14 PM · 5/30/20 · Twitter for iPhone

16.

Text - Rodney Lacroix @RodLacroix I'm at that age where the most pain- free method of putting on socks is to just throw them at my feet and hope for the best. 4:11 AM · 5/30/20 · Twitter for iPhone

17.

Text - elena is hibjørnating @ElenaBjxrn Today I discovered BOTH of my brothers thought that panty liners/ sanitary towels were stuck directly onto the wearer's flaps, not to their underwear. Apparently they thought the adhesive was to "seal it shut". One of them is married. 1:48 PM · 5/28/20 · Twitter for iPhone

18.

Text - Mitten d'Amour @MittenDAmour Thing I miss most about life pre- lockdown? Not the pubs, not the socialising, not the holidays. Feeling pretty. 12:31 PM · 5/30/20 · Tweetbot for iOS

19.

Text - Stephanie Wyeld @steph_the_twit Tjust sent my kids into the house alone to make hot chocolate and I'm enjoying nature in peace for a few minutes before I need to go inside and clean marshmallows out of my hairdryer or something 12:21 PM · 5/30/20 · Twitter for Android

20.

Text - No Idea: Daddy Blog @byclintedwards Shopping in 2020 be like: I'm 60% sure I know that person, but I can't completely tell because they are wearing a mask, and l'm too socially awkward to wave because l might be wrong about knowing them, so l'll just look at the ground. 12:56 PM · 5/30/20 · Twitter for iPhone

21.

Text - Niccole Thurman @niccolethurman SIRI YOU RUDE AS HELL GET OUTTA HERE L TL Saturday, May 30 NOTES | SIRI SUGGESTION Help me on dating apps 12:45 PM · 5/30/20 · Twitter for iPhone

22.

Adaptation - cluedont @cluedont | always said If I won the lottery I wouldn't do anything crazy, but that was before I saw this. 0:42 5.5M views · From Buitengebieden 7:56 AM · 5/30/20 · Twitter for iPhone

23.

Text - Andy Milonakis O @andymilonakis Congratulations to the Astronauts that left Earth today. Good choice

24.

Text - Jess Carpenter @JessCarpWrites My husband told me he had a nightmare that someone poured concrete on top of his grass that he's worked so hard to grow and if that ain't the daddest dreams of all dad dreams 9:08 AM · 5/30/20 · Twitter for iPhone

25.

Text - Magnificently Messy @Musings_of_wine Have kids they said... 1 week's worth of groceries. 1.75 lb @ 1 lb /1.77 PAE C3338308838 F 3.10 N DDLE2 2.58 N PEAS ROH PREMR 003354495841 CORONA PREMR 003354495044 068113132877 F 8.99 T 15.99 T TOTAL 543.02 WAITING FOR TOTAL AMOUNT Cancel iSC Touch 250 1.oz 2 ABC 3 DEF Cancel 4 GHI 5 JKL 6 MNO Clear 7 PRS 8 TUV 9 WXY Enter O*#,. 8:22 AM · 5/30/20 · Twitter for Android

26.

People - Macho Man Andy Savage @The_Andy_Brown Angel: Alright God, you're up. How's the year 2020 going so far? God: I thought it was gonna be a hit! It turns out it fucking sucks! 9:05 AM · 5/30/20 · Twitter for Android

27.

Text - Positively R@ndi @ICantEven001 19 just came running in my room panicked! His 6 foot carpet python escaped last night and we can't find him anywhere!!! There is only one logical solution to this...I'm moving! 10:17 AM · 5/30/20 · Twitter for iPhone

28.

Cat - cluedont @cluedont Me: How would you summarise 2020 so far? Му cat: 10:43 AM · 5/30/20 · Twitter for iPhone

29.

Text - meghan @shehas_freckles i'm doing what any reasonable 32 year old woman does on a thursday evening.. drinking beers & playing Mario Kart. alone. 5:13 PM · 5/28/20 · Twitter for iPhone

30.

Text - Eddie Random @stereofiasco McDonald's is considered 'fast food' but when I ask them to hold the Canadian bacon from my Egg McMuffin I have to pull forward as it's considered a "special order" even though I'm literally giving them permission to skip a step. 3:21 PM · 3/9/19 · Twitter Web Client

31.

Text - Adam At A Distance @adamof_alltrade I'll be 33 next week and I still can't figure out how I ever sat cross-legged comfortably. 4:49 AM · 5/29/20 · Twitter for iPhone

32.

Text - Eddie Random @stereofiasco I've always thought 'chupacabra' sounded like one of those bullshit meal items Taco Bell invents to sell the same combination of beans, meat, tortillas, and nonsense. 8:45 AM · 5/28/20 · Twitter Web App

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Just Give Him A Chance

Funny tweet that reads, "I feel like this skeleton wants to fuck so bad but his pickup lines are just awful" above a textbook illustration of a skeleton

He’s so lonely.

Submitted by: (via Fatboylovesbuffets)

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Forty-Three Random Memes To Give Your Brain A Boost

Sometimes you just need a little dumb humor as a distraction from life. If now is one of those times for you, then you’re in luck, because we put together this whole gallery of dumb memes for you!

1.

Food - SHARE IF YOU LOVE PIZZA OR BONDAGE BDSM, ETISH

2.

Water resources - GO AHEAD GET IN THE POND SINCE YOU WANNA ACT LIKE A SILLY GOOSE

3.

Text - * 1 73% I 20:17 Tweet t? Chelley Ryan W #Richard4Deputy retweeted Chris Yalamov @chrisyalamov #alevels2020 Year 13: I'm actually going to study for exams Boris: cancels exams with no clarity on what's next Year 13: well now I am not going to do it Tweet your reply

4.

Cat - Men after 40 in social networks be like

5.

Text - Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank... The rabbit says, I think I might be a type o.

6.

Text - Me talking to the sink full of dirty dishes every night I'm going to bed. Fuck the lot of you.

7.

Fictional character - Bart Bart Bart BARTENDERS Bart "Bart Bart Bart Bart Bart Bart Bart Bart Bart

8.

Floor - How to keep the cat downstairs

9.

Text - I cant remember how to write 1,1000, 51, 6 and 500 in Roman Numerals IM LIVID

10.

Adaptation - "I know I've been an asshole most of my life, but I need your help"

11.

Food - I'm not saying the punctuation is wrong. I am saying I HOPE it is wrong. OH! OH! BOY BOY SYRUP SYRUP ORL 0Z TBAL OZ) 1.183

12.

Bird - Me secretly turned on Vampires talking about how they could kill me

13.

Cat

14.

Text - Fus Ro Dah is just yeet in dragon

15.

Jacket - 2019 2018 2017 2020

16.

Text - sluttypuffin @sluttypuffin Yeah, I'm living the DREAM: D ead inside Reconsidering my career E ating everything A complete mess Mentally unstable

17.

Text - When somebody asks me 'hows life going' LEARNABOUT GARAGES IT'S TOTALLY FUCKING FUCKED MATE, BIG TIME' A LADYBIRD BOOK theragingalcoholic fTatrwar

18.

Hair - How can you make jokes at a time like this? It's a defense mechanism.

19.

Facial expression - You know what I love about boys? Their girlfriends.

20.

Photo caption - When you dig through your grandma's old toys for an hour just to find a little dude who looks like a meme @DarthStefawn It ain't much, but it's honest work

21.

Text - I'll remember what this code does after all, I wrote it myself and it's unlikely anyone else will work on it I don't need to leave comments.

22.

Product - hidingoutbackstage dreamstime sibling-less writers dreamstime "hey sis." "hey little bro!" eremstime I'm right and I should say it fairyofsomething Wait. How are peoples with siblings greeting eachother then? astudyingreer "Hey" 99 “Hey" ככ pissbong "greetings, whore" "[fortnite dances]" Gettmtime

23.

Food - When Spotify tries to make me a Daily Mix

24.

Text - a lost fish @grumbist im VERY laid back. i only care about 2 things: every person on earth & their opinion of me the crushing psychological weight of being alive

25.

World - Argentina Are'ntgentina

26.

Recreation - When you've never ran a day in your life but there's no way you're missing a chance to get away from the wife & kids for 30 mins MGS

27.

Cartoon - The good thing about having a social life like mine is that you don't even notice that you are in quarantine

28.

Text - A spookyearp people at work: wow, you are always in such a good mood, how do you do that? me, an actually cranky, apathetic, trainwreck human: it's called manners, susan. gingerkyuketsuki "do not mistake composure for ease"

29.

Chicken - sorry my mom said no

30.

Horse - Thank God 2019 is finally over 2020 МЕ Come here! 2020 2020 ME ME

31.

Text - Clayton Cubitt @claytoncubitt YOU PROBABLY DIDN'T KNOW YOU NEEDED TO SEE PIX OF FLEXING VICTORIAN BABES BUT YOU DID 2:41 PM · 9/12/19 · Tweetbot for iOS 14.2K Retweets 40.3K Likes

32.

Text - bird cop: we found two victims, bludgeoned to death bird detective: any murder weapon found? bird cop: just one stone bird detective: *lowers shades* my god

33.

Text - Jakhari Carroll LIFT IS @jakharicarroll "You up?" Me thinking about am l up or not: a Jsdr 1 @DarJuste · 6d Bomboclaat Show this thread 10:11 PM · 3/21/20 · Twitter for Android

34.

Text - Here I sit broken hearted Tried to shit, but only farted Then one day I took a chanu Triet to fart, but shit my pants Posted in r/blursedimages by u/TagamiT O reddit

35.

Cartoon - When the sun hits your laptop screen just right

36.

Dog - drog.

37.

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38.

Text - Therapist: Can you think of anyone who is a negative influence in your life who is causing you to feel this way? Me: -Well, of course I know him. He's me. Z/9/18, 4:39 PM

39.

Logo - | would help but...

40.

Text - darjeelingandcoke-deactivated20 An ancient Greek walks into his tailor's shop with a pair of torn pants. "Euripides?" says the tailor. "Yeah, Eumenides?" replies the man. thiswillonlyhurtalittle This is so awful. It must go on to infect others.

41.

Terrestrial animal - YOu deserve s heppiness!

42.

Facial expression - When you're approaching someone in a long hallway and you're not sure when to begin eye contact 180/n sini I/sin(180/n) 90.000 MasiPobal case 65ine

43.

Tent - what can make a man run away like this ???? Maik Kho Jai E @mikegbaines It's not run, it's ran. Because it's past tents.

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Tasty Tweets To Satisfy Your Mindless Scrolling Needs

We know that Twitter is a minefield. Especially during times of crisis. But mindlessly scrolling through tweets is one of our favorite ways to escape boredom.So we’ve put together this batch of relatively entertainingTwitter tidbits and left out the political shitshow that so often plunges us into depression. If we want news, we’ll watch the news. But for now, we’re happy with these short and sweet quips of distraction.

1.

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2.

Product - unapologetic + @dosesofkae_ Omg I'm Having a hard time which one decorating my new crib y'all think? OLLAR GENERAL AANK YOU THANK YOU yournage 8:13 AM · 5/25/20 · Twitter for iPhone

3.

Text - Laura Peek @LauraKPeek Fav part of watching Jeopardy is saying "I should be on Jeopardy" every time I correctly answer a $200 clue that happens to be about one of my three interests 9:05 AM · 5/25/20 · Twitter for iPhone

4.

Adaptation - Household Government @LadyBugAssassin This bitch done ate all her tank mates, now she looking all sad thinking about her life.

5.

Organism - Kimberly Adams @KA_Marketplace Uncle: What are you doing during the lockdown? Me: I'm learning to play piano! You? Uncle: I built "Gateway to the Imagination" in my backyard. Me: A A 10:21 AM · 5/26/20 · Twitter for iPhone

6.

Tree

7.

Tree

8.

Text - Robert Knop @FatherWithTwins Would you rather ghost your mom or your favorite food? Mom 44% Fave food 56% 126 votes · Final results 5:26 PM · 5/26/20 · Twitter for iPhone

9.

Text - Witch Baby @GoAskAvery TL;DR stands for "The Lord; Da Rings" 10:03 AM · 5/26/20 · Twitter for iPhone

10.

Text - WTFDAD @daddydoubts It's the strangest thing, I could have Sworn my son was born with hands yet here we are 3 years later and the fucker has talons. 6:14 PM · 5/26/20 · Twitter for iPhone

11.

Text - Filthiest Poster Alive @victoriaxxvii I'm bringing my bedroom floor lamp out on the porch so I can continue reading and smoking cigs as the sun goes down this is why we're engineers 5:39 PM · 5/27/20 · Twitter for Android

12.

Text - @artofjyang Asked my grandmother to model for my bags and she busted out an entire fancy occasion outfit

13.

Face - MBA YOUNGBOY @Stussy_Fly March 13th May 25th

14.

Bedding - grace @thebiggestyee this is the comforter ur high school boyfriend had

15.

Face - andrea @jojobetzlerr thinking about the day i taught ansel how to use instagram filters 6:14 VESE Saturday, December 28 O INSTAGRAM now ] ansel How do you put Care Bears on your face like that? O INSTAGRAM 1m ago ansel Oh thanks O INSTAGRAM 1m ago ] ansel Yo

16.

Dish - kaaaaaaaneki @kevoutkevin the art: the artist:

17.

Text - Yann @yannhatchuel I've been toldI needed a spice rack in my kitchen. Did I do this right?

18.

Text - Max Godby @OhMyGodby64 KENTUCKY 64 I demand a public apology from every coach l've ever had... The study found that the "hand on knees" posture resulted in superior heart rate recovery and greater tidal volume (the amount of air inhaled into the lungs with each breath) compared to the "hands on head" posture. Oct 2, 2019

19.

Bedroom - iAmNoah (92%) SOON @iamnoahmusic Ibuilt my doga doggy bed. What do you guys think? Lol

20.

Mammal

21.

Text - weird al @local_celeb if im going on a date i think regardless of gender, the other person should pay. this is rooted in the fact that i don't want to pay

22.

Text - Yusraa @y_usraa If you want to have your mind blown: John Cena and Jackson from Hannah Montana are the exact same age Q 4 jason earles age Q4 john cena age Google Y Google jason earles age john cena age ALL IMAGES NEWS VIDEOS MAPS SHOPP ALL IMAGES NEWS VIDEOS MAPS SHOPP Jason Earles / Age John Cena / Age 43 years 43 years 26 April 1977 23 April 1977 gettymages Spouse: Elizabeth Huberdeau (m. 2009-2012) Spouse: Katie Drysen (m. 2017), Jennifer Earles (m. 2002- 2013) Height: 1,84 m Height:

23.

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24.

Text - mads @madddiexo i love when guys on dating apps ask "how is a gorgeous girl like you single" I'm mentally ilI, brandon 8:08 AM · 5/25/20 · Twitter for iPhone

25.

Text - Serendipity @serendipitydon1 Relationship Status: I have eaten four sandwiches in one sitting. 6:11 PM · 5/26/20 · Twitter for Android

26.

Text - Arianna Bradford @TheNYAMProject If my kids wind up growing into sociopaths and they question me for a Netflix special, l plan on answering al interview questions with "whoopsie doodle." 6:14 PM · 5/26/20 · Twitter for iPhone

27.

Text - Andrew Hunt @Mr_AndrewHunt Every night, an adorable couple on a nearby balcony shares a bottle of wine as they hold hands and lovingly stare into each others' eyes while laughing and listening to beautiful jazz music. And I can't help but think, "Wow. That's what I want." (the wine.not the other stuff.) 5:34 PM · 5/26/20 · Twitter Web App

28.

Text - Kids_kubed D @Kids_kubed My husband, so frustrated with my empty pop cans around the house, collected them and put them on my nightstand I, in turn, collected all the empty toilet paper rolls he never replaces and left them on his pillow Marriage is all about helping each other grow 5:47 PM · 5/26/20 · Twitter for iPhone

29.

Adaptation - Myko Clelland O @DapperHistorian Newly discovered just outside of Verona, what could be this year's biggest discovery - an almost entirely intact Roman mosaic villa floor! SAP TAIR 11:42 AM · 5/26/20 · Twitter Web App

30.

Text - WTFDAD @daddydoubts Me: *chopping up dill* Wife: ooh dill, guess I know what I get to look forward to later tonight. Me: the dill shits? Wife: no, sweeping up all the dill falling on the floor. Ме: oh haha. Wife: what are the "dill shits"? Me: nothing nevermind. 5:37 PM · 5/26/20 · Twitter for iPhone

31.

Text - E. JOHNBUS UNUM @TrashyAmerican Don't ever tell me I don't know how to manage money. ih

32.

Text - Greg One Leg @Greg_1_Leg This one is 100 percent true Me still groggy after having my leg amputated:.. Dad:.Don't worry son, it'll only take ... you half the time to cut your toenails now. 11:31 AM · 5/26/20 · Twitter for iPhone

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Can’t Begin To Imagine

Funny tweet about what work will look like after quarantine is over.

Work is gonna be weird for a long time.

Submitted by: (via @stupidresumes)

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Thirty Miscellaneous Tidbits For You To Enjoy Today

We know you could use something to laugh about right now, and because we’ve always got your back, we delivered. These memes may not be very high quality, but we’re pretty sure they’ll make you laugh. Click here for some more random entertainment!

1.

Face - J.K. Rowling Reveals That You, The Reader, Were Gay All Along Share Article: Facebook I Twitter Reddit

2.

Photo caption - Me: Don't look now but the person behind you is... My friend immediately: O C

3.

Text - When you're part of a group chat but you never actually contribute anything to the conversation

4.

Text - IT WILL END IN TEARS

5.

Ball - I'm almost certain there's an easier way to blow up a balloon Ri

6.

Text - Meet Christian singles now! JOIN NOW! spaghetticunt: sign me right the fuck up VIA DAMNLOL.COM

7.

Technology - 1 This one sparks joy. Remind Me Message Decline Acсept This one does not spark joy.

8.

THE a INFINITY BAGA” title=”” width=”600″ height=”825″/>

9.

Text - Tweet @Believablee I just watched a woman drink laundry detergent at Walmart. Bottle to mouth. In the isle. I said NOTHING but when we made eye contact she just gasped and was like 'IM GONNA BUY IT!' BRO IM NOT WORRIED ABOUT YOU BUYING IT WTE ARE YOU DOING ASKSKSKSKS 3:35 PM 3/7/19 Twitter for iPhone

10.

Face - when you 20 mins deep in an argument and realize you misunderstood something

11.

Dog - I was having a bad day and this dog walked to my bus stop, sat on the bench and asked me for pets

12.

Text - How's your new job sweetie? It was a tough first week but it's good grandpa drgrayfang Abe Lincoln was assassinated 2 days into his second term so you need to grow up

13.

Text - When Nance calls you a dickface in front of the neighbors for not taking out the trash Haha she's a pistol isn't she ;)~ @middleclassfancy

14.

Table - Jemele Hill @jemelehill • 10/31/18 PER MY LAST EMAIL

15.

Text - When Rick's leaves keep falling in your yard, so you blow them back into his yard when he's not home Haha take that, Rick! You bag of shit! @middleclassfancy

16.

Cartoon - the hardest prison to escape is in your mind um ok

17.

Text - rohirrimofthenorth jrr tolkien: i really love my wife. i will make her into a beautiful, unearthly half-angel princess who beat satan almost single-handedly and won an argument with the keeper of the halls of the dead jrr tolkien: i really love my best friend. 1 will make him into a grumpy old tree who never gets to the point triss19 If this isn't the best example of the difference between the relationship you should have with your wife and your best friend I don't know what is.

18.

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19.

Green - १

20.

Snout - Me: Bae talk dirty to me Bae: Sometimes I don't wipe my ass when I finish shittin Me: @officialthiscouldbeus

21.

People - me, riffy c @itsmeriffyc why does it look like khalid met you WOLF @NLSNicholas Met Khalid. Mari Marth

22.

Clothing - Me at 20 Jennifer Aniston at 50 @viralwoman LTY

23.

Product - When anyone asks me why I fell for my wife WAG

24.

Action-adventure game - YOU TALKING MAD SHIT FOR SOMEONE IN CRUSADING DISTANCE imgflip.com

25.

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26.

Human - When you're mad hungry and your food won't cooperate. @mr petty wap

27.

Text - When you're wasted and someone says they are going to Taco Bell drgrayfang "Please let me join you on this Hispanic adventure."

28.

Text - Ami @shine_with_love People who are allergic to peanuts: I can't, it'll kill me People who are allergic to gluten: I can't, it'll wreck my body People who are lactose intolerant: Humans cannot achieve immortality anyway and life not lived to the fullest is no life at allI, hand me a gallon of milk 11:21 PM 07 Oct 18 Source: whitepeopletwitter 43,226 notes

29.

Text - Me when there's drama that has absolutely nothing to do with me. I'm so excited because I love mess.

30.

Team - How my custom RPG squad looks in a cutscene

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Twenty-Nine Random Memes Meant To Decimate Boredom

Since you clicked here, it probably means you’re looking for some high-quality entertainment. Well, unfortunately you won’t find that here, but you will find low-quality entertainment, and there’s gotta be something to that, right?

1.

Organism - when I see someone from high school in a store but they don't see me yet

2.

Cartoon - Everybody Me

3.

Font - i dont struggle with anxiety it actually comes very easy to me

4.

Cartoon - -If you need me, I'm here. -If you don't, I'm still here.

5.

White - my brain every night: NO sleep. ONLY TIRED

6.

Text - being a perfectionist and a procrastinator is a shitty combo we'll get the job done perfectly but like...tomorrow

7.

Hair - you ever go to someone's house and see every family member just being happy and getting along like damn bitch y'all live like this???

8.

Cartoon - Family is still family no matter how they've hurt you @thebandoffice

9.

Adaptation - When ur at a pool party and ur the only one who feels like swimming @tank.sinatra

10.

Poster - slaps roof of brain "you won't believe how much of absolutely nothing of value or importance this baby can fit!"

11.

Room - Me, after telling my parents that my relationship is good, I'm doing financially well and that overall, things are okay And scene.

12.

Text - fool me once, shame on u. fool me twice, thats just fucked up. u know im dumb as hell. like come on

13.

Text - "No one can describe me in two words lol" The coffee machine: Cashless failure N ATE

14.

Cat - Everyone: baking homemade bread and working out during the lockdowns Me with a nonexistent sleep pattern: MemeCenter.com

15.

Text - Ihate when people ask me what l'l be doing THIS YEAR , Come on guys | don't have aNY IDEA WHAT'S HAPPENING ANYMORE

16.

Nose - When someone is crying and you don't know what to do u want water?

17.

Green - single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive

18.

Face - WHEN YOU FORGOT TO STUDY ABOUT THE PATIENT'S MEDS Patient: what is that medication for?? .. its. is for you..."

19.

Text - I AM A DUMB BITCH WITH TERRIBLE TASTE I WILL NEVER CHANGE I WILL NEVER IMPROVE THAT IS A PROMISE

20.

Text - "There hasn't been a relatable protagonist to come out of Hollywood in years." Me, an intellectual:

21.

Photo caption - I am WAY too sleep-deprived to deal with youn negativity right now

22.

Product - Me Staying up late because I want to have some kind of free time knowing l'll be exhausted the next day Me

23.

Text - anxiety brain: IM GOING TO DIE ALONE AND UNCARED FOR the other side of my brain which is wearing a hawaiian shirt: [cracks another sparkling water] yeah probably thuri-ly-made-madej TALMO 70

24.

Cartoon - Me applying critical thinking skills and going on an in-depth but intelligent tangent about an abstract subject Me turning on my turn signal S accidently because I forgot how to turn on my wipers

25.

Text - Me: *notices the smallest difference in how a person is texting me* Me: In conclusion, I'm annoying

26.

Face - created my own personal hell through poor decision making Damn.. I kinda aborteddreams

27.

Cat - "You not even watching the movie" Me: Yes I am Oczsavage

28.

Text - TASTE...TOUCH-- SMELL... HEARING-. ALL MY SENSES WERE HEIGHTENED! EXCEPT PERHAPS FOR THAT SECRET INGREDIENT CALLED COMMON SENSE!

29.

Photo caption - YOU DON'T HAVE EXPERIENCE INEED A JOB BUTI NEED TO WORK TO GET EXPERIENCE THEN WORK THATS WHY I'M HERE EXPERIENCE HOW AM GONNA GET EXPERIENCE WITHOUT A WORK WORK Cound County

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That Quarantine Life

Funny meme that reads, "Me enjoying the sleep I don't deserve after a long day of doing absolutely nothing" above a photo of a little dog lying in a bed

Don’t act like you didn’t do this today.

Submitted by: (via LeoSenior)

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Thirty-Nine Silly Memes For Bored People

These memes will lift your spirits. Well, we can’t guarantee that, but we can hope. Scroll down for some prime entertainment, and click here if you want more! You know you do…

1.

Product - Everyone:"Are you gonna continue to post shitty memes? Me: YEAH BUOY

2.

Text - Henry Sotheran Ltd @Sotherans "I bought another book" - transactional - people will ask if you REALLY need more books - reminds you of your bank balance "I paid a terrible price for this knowledge" - classy Faustian vibes - intimidating - implies all books are priceless treasures. which they are. O 69.9K 5:44 AM - Nov 5, 2019

3.

Cartoon - *May the best one win* AMDA NVIDIA. GEFORCE *autistic screeching CUDA RADEON GRAPHICS INTEL HD GRAPHICS

4.

Amphibian - Ihate when girl's friends say "you better not hurt her, or else" Imao like wtf are you gonna do Jennifer? Call me a fuckboy in a group message? Ohh i'm so scared.

5.

Pink - When you trying to buy food from your daughters pretend restaurant and she comes back saying your card was declined! First of all the service is horrible here and prices are outrageous! FRINCE

6.

Hair - When you get soap in your eye but you tryna see the demon in the shower with you

7.

Operating system - why are they stirring macaroni at 1am

8.

Hair - Me: Is this birdcage made out of nickel? Pet Store: Aluminum I think Me: So there's no nickel in this cage? Pet Store: Don't you dare! Me: It's a nickleless cage Pet Store: GET OUT! Worth it

9.

Dog - WeRateDogs® O @dog_rates This is Pixel. She was photographed before and after being told she's the best girl in the whole wide world. 13/10 suspicions confirmed 8 аро 9:10 AM · 11/18/19 · Twitter for iPhone

10.

Fictional character - KEY TO YENNEFER'S ROOM 2 KEY 2 Common item 0.UI (slavic folk musie stops)

11.

Text - Henpecked Hal @HenpeckedHal teacher: according to several preschoolers, your son has invented the word "Kinderfarten" me: that's a problem teacher: I'm glad you agree me: I invented "Kinderfarten" 8:12 AM · 11/18/19 · Twitter for iPhone

12.

Land vehicle - Sleep K.OM 8621 This is brilliant. Playing video games until 5am Sleep NOB, K QM 8621 But I like this.

13.

Text - badgirlkiki @badgirlkiki_ imagine how frustrated the cashiers at scholastic book fairs are. those kids don't understand tax. their mom gave them $20 and said “books only". they think they can get a book that's $16.99 and an eraser that's $2.99. "yeah right, idiot" the cashier has to say (by law) O 187K 12:24 AM - Nov 18, 2019

14.

Cartoon - Joe mama jokes don't work I have 2 dads Joe mama so ugly your dad married a man

15.

Text - Picaresque Thomson l @Mianmath83 Them: Very sorry, sir, we're out of maple donuts. Me: (faraway look)...that's fine...everything's fine...I have to go now.... Night descends, music playing softly. Rain starts falling. A lone figure is seen on the roof of the donut shop. 5:49 AM · 11/18/19 · Twitter for iPhone

16.

Dog - Oh god, make it stop.

17.

Text - Dios es mi droga @Lucky_Leftovers My daughter said "daddy we are not friends with Brooklyn because she said I dress weird" No questions asked now I got beef with a 4 y/o named Brooklyn and her father. I dont make the rules to this gang shit. I just play my role. 8:10 PM · 04 Jan 19 from California, USA ·

18.

Text - Teacher: "Why didn't you use the bathroom at break?" The bathroom at break:

19.

Text - bit ch tit s @borderlinemom8 Wanted: Hibernation Buddy Must be interested in laying in bed eating junk while watching Netflix. Also must love cuddles and be down with sleeping for the next five months straight. 8:31 AM · 11/17/19 · Twitter for iPhone

20.

Text - When you hear your friend say "oh yeah, that asshole over there loves blink-182" "Oh geez that's

21.

Text - Policeman: What is your name? Man: The Wizard of Oz Policeman: Your FULL name. Man: (Quietly) The Wizard of Ounces

22.

Bird - YOU TRIED SCRAMBLING THE WRONG EGG MOTHERFUCKER 35¢ leng nopeDigitalMeddle YourChlidhoodRuined.com

23.

Text - When the teacher says the test will take a hour but you finish it in 3 seconds and bring the class average down by 15% They said it could not be done

24.

Text - I want to wake up with I get up you the rest of my life at 5:00 Am Nevermind

25.

Text - Jenny Nicholson (turkey gobble go... @JennyENicholson They refuse to show us Yoda at the one age we want: whatever age his species considers the most sexy 7:01 AM · 11/18/19 · Twitter for Android

26.

Hair - i don't trust you if you think violet is not the most relatable character in history Buy Suids for Srat

27.

Text - SparkNotes @SparkNotes Ending your essay with "in conclusion" - dull | - repetitive - unoriginal Ending your essay with "that's my story and I'm sticking to it" - powerful - definitive clarifies whose story this is (yours) and what you're going to do (stick to it) 7:39 AM - 11/18/19 · Twitter Web App

28.

Text - YOU WOULON'T STEAL A MEME Photo saved to this device

29.

Text - Expat Med @DrExpat_ I LEFT MY FRONT DOOR OPEN AND MY ROOMBA JUST WENT OUT AND I CAN'T FIND IT. WHAT ARE THE CONSEQUENCES OF THIS. IT HAS NO NATURAL PREDATORS. 3:50 AM · 19 Dec 18 · Twitter Web Client

30.

Text - Rachel Therrien @riquelz96 · my dad wrote me a report card when I was 11 PERFORMANCE APPRAISAL 2-N-07 Name Rachel Therrien Using the following scale, assign a score for each of the following attributes: Very Good - 4 Satisfactory - 3 Improvement Needed - 2 Unsatisfactory - 1 Excellent - 5 Personal Habits N/A 2 Brush Teeth/Shower when asked Keeps Room Clean Helps with Chores Does homework Attitude Does not verbally harass parents Does not verbally harass siblings Does not physically harass

31.

Text - Coach KJ @CoachK_Johnson WAS IT A BAD DAY? OR WAS ITA BAD FIVE MINUTES THAT YOU MILKED ALL DAY? @memezar mil @milupton I didn't need such a personal attack

32.

Eyewear - When your car is making a really weird noise but your bank account is empty Nothing's wrong, I can'feel it

33.

Text - dustin Couch @Dustinkcouch son: thanks for takin me to astronaut practice dad i had so much fun :) buzz aldrin: this isn't a game. remember why we're doing this. son: *serious nod* moon revenge O 3,916 9:16 AM - Dec 9, 2018

34.

Hair - Normal рeople yawning Dads yawning

35.

Text - Idk who needs to hear this but this means your high beams are on and I can't see shit because of it.... EO

36.

Text - Anonymous said When's your bedtime :) pukicho Whenever I next collapse is purely up to the gods Source: pukicho 41,116 notes

37.

Machine - WANT TO HEAR SOMETHING REALLY FUN ABOUT SCIENCE? YOU WOULD. NERD. PRESS BUT ssyesq: I would love this card. urce. leanaisnotaba.

38.

Text - Ladies what do we want? Meaningful friendships! More girl nights outs! REAL HUMAN CONNECTION! When do we want it? ... well this week isn't good... I can't do anything after 8pm on a work night... ... Let me check my calendar and get back to you...

39.

Footwear - You can't just "yeehaw" away from your problems. Me: 30.00 made with mematic

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Mental Health Memes For Anyone Trying To Cope With All Of This Crap

We’re all dealing with a lot of sh*t right now, some more than others. We can’t act as your therapist, but we can bring you some relatable content. So while you try to find an actual licensed mental health professional, please take these memes as our offering to you during these trying times.

1.

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2.

Diagram - Depression Anxiety Nothing will go perfectly, so don't even try. I'm tired and nothing is worth the effort. Things must go perfectly, so I must plan endlessly. Fuck. I must plan endlessly for 8,000 things I don't have the energy for one thing, much less 8,000 things. at once. --hey,what's that shiny thing over there? x8,000 ADHD

3.

Text - Known Unpleasure @known_unpleasure me | Y asking for help COknown unploasure i trying to do everything on my own and then having a breakdown

4.

Cartoon - me watching everyone go to sleep while i stay up and overthink everything in my life Faceook: @Officialsuperficial Inst gram: @Superficialtech

5.

Cartoon - When you can tell that your mental illness is taking over your personality but you don't know how to fix it tapiokas: |dont read me like this Photos

6.

Text - suhojpg *wants to read* *doesnt read* *wants to draw* *doesnt draw* *wants to study a language* *doesnt study the language* *wants to watch new movies* *doesnt watch new movies* *wants to do stuff i like and enjoy* *doesnt* momqueer this is called depression Source: 3cbx

7.

Cartoon - My last dopamine receptor not giving up on me be like: 00 701 w HERE

8.

Text - I just need 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the mornings and then I'm recharged and ready to tackle the day

9.

Face - My family looking at my posts like..

10.

Text - Aparna Nancherla @aparnapkin www. if you can't handle me at my depression then you don't deserve me at my SURPRISE! it's anxiety now

11.

Text - When I finally start medication for my mental illness but now I can't laugh or cum It NAS MORE Fur FUN HE

12.

Text - lex @alexisscarrasco did you grow up with an emotionally unavailable parent so you craved love so bad until you eventually resented it and now when someone tries to show you love it makes you extremely uncomfortable or are you normal

13.

Text - When people ask me how I solve my problems HW sleep away all unpleasant memories!

14.

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15.

Cartoon - me after waking up from a 30 minute nap 8 hours later

16.

Text - therapist: u often use humor to deflect serious trauma me: thank u therapist: i didnt say that was a good thing me: what im hearing is u think im funny

17.

Text - Carlos Maza @gaywonk ME: I don't know why I feel so useless and depressed right now. THERAPIST: There's a pandemic. M: I think I'm just a lazy piece of shit. T: There's a pandemic. M: What's wrong with me? Why can't I just snap out of it? T: Am I muted right now? 19:09 · 5/13/20 Twitter Web App 70 Retweets 460 Likes

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Eighteen Wholesome Memes That Serve As A Breath Of Fresh Air

Once again, we could all use a good hearty distraction from all the BS happening in the world right now. So let’s not think about that and instead scroll down for some more uplifting. Click here for more!

1.

Forehead - When you had a bad day but you get a text from a friend you haven't heard from in a while: CITY OR POLICE DEPARTMENT NEW YORK HOL Look at that, you've helped me find my smile DEPAR CITY OF

2.

Text - clean slate @PleaseBeGneiss COP: *checking my license* l'm taking you downtown ME: :( [downtown] COP: one hot fudge sundae for the birthday boy ME: :)

3.

Cartoon - ... 3 PM O If you're jumping on the Avatar the Last Airbender bandwagon just because it's on Netflix, and never even watched it as a kid, let me just be straightforward... Welcome aboard! I hope you enjoy it as much as I did/ do フD

4.

Text - "Come get sum food wit me" "I'm broke." "Did i ask if you had money?"

5.

Primate - Me, with my trusty playlist A real banger Me, now adding this song to my playlist, and listening to it on repeat for a whole week A friend sharing a song with me

6.

Dog - let me present to you: dog heaven

7.

Text - When someone who is not your mom calls you handsome

8.

Cartoon - Late spring 2020 mood after cutting off all the (toxic)social apps and news.

9.

Text - rosalitadiazz annie*+ @nightshiftmp3 just found out the dude who invented goldfish crackers made them in the shape of a fish bc his wife was a pisces and he wanted to make smth for her..love is stored in the goldfish cracker 8:57 AM · 5/14/20 · Twitter Web App

10.

Text - Google i hd i hope parrallel universe me is doing okay Don q wertyuio

11.

Cartoon - Me: I have a lot of mental illnesses, dating me might get difficult. Partner: It's okay, I love you just how you are: Me: *shows symptoms* Partner: *still loves me* Me:

12.

Cat - My mom telling me she enjoyed the lunch I cooked for my family Me, who isn't a great cook but tried really hard imgflip.com

13.

Photo caption - Me: *chats with grandpa about my day and asks him how he's doing* My Grandpa: Thanks for giving this old man the best day of his life

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15.

Dog - When you make a nice painting and your parents hang it up and you feel nice HC

16.

Cartoon - Part time students Full time students Me finishing 1 class 2 1

17.

Cat - My Boyfriend Me whenever l'm sad

18.

Cat - When both teams type gg in the chat instead of complaining 運海海通 電海海造 1 過 २५२:

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