Twenty-Seven Humorous Gems From ‘Pukicho’ The Tumblr God

Urban Dictionary sums up the novelty Tumblr account Pukicho as “A spiteful god who has come down to our world in the form of a plushie pikachu and harnessed the power of Tumblr in order to twist our feeble mortal minds into submission with his words of wisdom.” 

Honestly, it’s a pretty accurate description and we’ll just let the following posts do the rest of the talking. Enjoy!

1.

Text - pukicho Feeling slothful today my friend atticusbinkleton then Snooze pukicho Worry not, I am also gluttonous, and highly wrathful csuswins Are you trying to hit all 7 before dinner? * pukicho UH OH HERE COMES LUST Source: pukicho

2.

Text - pukicho Still dont know how to spell spagetti without autocorrect prettypianoprincess Wheres the h pukicho An H ????

3.

Text - pukicho Hope everyone is well today ! pukicho And tomorrow !!!! pukicho After that you're on your own #text #q

4.

Text - pukicho I think we should make it illegal to be mean to me whos with me empress-ereve-fucks-to-live Not me pukicho In my new world you'd be put to death for such indiscretions Fonte: pukicho 3.116 notas

5.

Text - * pukicho No face was a weird ass character man what was his deal? ate a frog, barfed and then lived with an old lady for the rest of the movie? shit, okay. Su siriuszstar Wasn't no face symbolic of something or another pukicho Yeah, symbolic of me every sunday night Source: pukicho 2.011 notes

6.

Text - pukicho 5 chronovesper anticapitilizationbureau asked How would you die in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? pukicho Bullet to the head chronovesper By an Oompa Loompa or Mr. Wonka? pukicho Charlie Source: pukicho 1,155 notes A

7.

Text - pukicho Remember to drink water babes i-like-pans7 No pukicho Then become the dirt I walk on. Source: pukicho 2,417 notes A

8.

Text - pukicho Sorry, but if your name's Brian, I already know exactly what you look like lackluster-friend-next-door Does this post include people named Bryan? pukicho We don't speak of them

9.

Text - sixsaddeddice said Are you gonna see Detective Pikachu? pukicho I hate seth rogan and I like ryan reynolds so ll probably go see it! pukicho theeternalponderer Why is Seth Rogen relevant? He's not sweetcuttlefish Then why did you mention him???? pukicho I just don't like him that much. Conversations can be about more than one thing.

10.

Text - pukicho Me: *sloshes into the room slimily and boogishly* teathattast don't like that pukicho *sloshes boogishly towards you at immense speeds* naughty-chicken-butt I can hear this post but l've never heard those sounds. 2,888 notes

11.

Text - pukicho E pukicho I saw a spider in my room today so I fumigated the whole place. It smells like peppermint and bug spray in here, my mouth is numb but I know that spider ain't doing much better pukicho floralgoblin I have a spider in my room. I've named him Lewis. You coexist with them, you are like an angel, beautiful and kind - and here I am: ready to die if it means I canny see those leggy coonts again 1.093 Anmerkungen

12.

Text - * pukicho I ain't going for the 'best post ever' vibe I'm going for the "its 4am and this is literally the only post that has popped up on my feed in 30 minutes so l might as well reblog it" vibe that-dork-you-followed You've failed at both pukicho I am going to liquidate all of my assets and use the money to hire hitmen to slap you daily for the rest of your life.

13.

Text - pukicho Неу pukicho everyone's bones are wet hey-now-youre-a-porn-star why would you say this pukicho No one said hi back Source: pukicho

14.

Text - pukicho * evangelion-analyst Follow pukicho Smooth jazz is kinda funny evangelion-analyst Why? pukicho Because I said so Source: pukicho 1,444 notes

15.

Text - pukicho Anonymous said When's your bedtime :) pukicho Whenever I next collapse is purely up to the gods 98,698 notes A

16.

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17.

Text - * pukicho Kids are just like "ppptppptppthhptpppthh" until one day they're like "oh shit I can think" and then it's all downhill from there definitlynotanalien-ipromise The greatest mistake anyone ever made was letting me develop sentience

18.

Text - S pukicho ... If your wizard OC doesn't have a huge motherfucker hat and gold stars and a dope ass purple cloak then fuck you I cast spell be more whimsical or die on you british-tea-drinking-slut I had an aneurysm trying to read this, please use comers pukicho no fuck you enjoy confusion pukicho wait what the FUCK is a comer Source: pukicho 5,296 notes

19.

Text - pukicho People with Ochaco icons are trustworthy pukicho Here since it's bound to happen I drew this before hand: BASTARD27: GIVE MB Yer CREDIT CARD # bastard27 GIVE ME your CREDIT CARD # pukicho Who's the motherfucker who left the 'Bastard27' URL wide open?

20.

Text - pukicho My etsy page consists of (1) cursed doll found in the forest and nothing more soviet-seal-husbandos Do you know what curse it is? Curse that makes you sell it on etsy togepipi oh sweet find ill go check it out togepipi My etsy page consists of (1) cursed doll found in the forest and nothing more Source: pukicho

21.

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22.

Transport - Pikachu chu train chu chu train it's a chu chu train pika chu chu train ! chu chuu !!! starkologist where's it going pukicho Straight to Hell

23.

Text - pukicho 5 sh1tp0st1ng pukicho If you were to vacuum up jello through a metal tube, well I think that'd be a neat noise lutey-and-the-mermaid i beg to differ pukicho Then Beg

24.

Text - pukicho What are YOUR resolutions for the new year? pyrexiabog 1080p pukicho Back to Hell with you 3,039 notes A

25.

Cartoon - pukicho Hello, I come from the forests, ask me anything masonisatragicmultishipper how are the trees pukicho I dont know who you are or what that is. AMA closed blakhawk15 HELLO! IComE FROM THE FOREST, ASK Me JANHING! Hows THE TREES? You ARE OR Liar AAT IS, AMA CLOSED.

26.

implying the mortician is the one who actually kills everyone like some grim reaper pukicho You don't know the people I know 2746 notes” title=”” width=”800″ height=”800″/>

27.

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