Admin Tells IT Guy to Look Busy So He Runs Errands

There’s that age old problem of being hired to do a job that works on a task by task basis, but you’re still paid hourly, so half of your time is spent pretending to do your job just so management stays happy. These guys said screw that. For some funny IT stories, here are ridiculous requests IT workers received.

There’s that age old problem of being hired to do a job that works on a task by task basis, but you’re still paid hourly, so half of your time is spent pretending to do your job just so management stays happy. These guys said screw that. For some funny IT stories, here are ridiculous requests IT workers received.

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Text - r/MaliciousCompliance Posted by u/kc1328 4 days ago Cant be visibly doing nothing, it affects employees morale. No problem. oc M My buddy and I were hired to be a glorified help desk, support, hand holders for a special project. Senior management at a large corporation had their laptops upgraded including new software they had never used and major upgrades of software they had previously used. We are talking maybe 20 people spread across 3 buildings downtown, all within walking distance o

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Text - My job was to sit in a office and take calls for any issue and I mean any issue that popped into their head. The only thing more entitled than senior management are their admin people. My buddies job was to actually go to their desk and hold their hand with what ever issue they had, oh and "read the ##$! manual" was not part of the support plan :-) he was great at it. After the first couple of weeks things settled down and we received very few calls. So my buddy was sitting at some desk d

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Text - So I realized that our service level agreement said we had to respond within 30 minutes (it was always much less especially if he was in the building). So I told my buddy to fuck off, go shopping, sit in starbucks and read the paper. No one but me knew where my buddy was at any time and I was the only one who dispatched him. So I said to my buddy " do what ever you want as long as you drop what your doing and be at the persons desk within 30 minutes." And if they called for help, occasion

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Text - So my buddy went to the movies, went clothes, shoe shopping, sat in the park, Etc The busybody admin assistant called about a problem one day and said "I never see him at his desk anymore, where is he ? "I said " he is much busier now, his morale and I'm sure your staffs morale must be much better now" No one ever found out about our malicious compliance. The managers he helped loved him and wanted him to stay on. He said no until.they tripled what he was making. About a year later he was

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Bedtime Story

HI! PLEASE WHITELIST US WITH YOUR ADBLOCKER! THANKS FOR YOUR SUPPORT!

HI! PLEASE WHITELIST US WITH YOUR ADBLOCKER! THANKS FOR YOUR SUPPORT!

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Scent Of A Woman

Strip clubs closed for the quarantine should have signs that say “Sorry, we’re clothed.” HEY! FOLLOW @LAMEBOOK ON INSTAGRAM! THANKS!!

Strip clubs closed for the quarantine should have signs that say “Sorry, we’re clothed.”

HEY! FOLLOW @LAMEBOOK ON INSTAGRAM! THANKS!!

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Entitled Dude Gets Trolled By Amused Car Seller

Unfortunately we live in a world where a lot of people think it’s totally fine to act like self-righteous a-holes. This dude in particular thought he could purchase a car for far cheaper than what the seller was listing. Fortunately for us though, the troll-y seller had a sense of humor about it. 

Click here for more instances of entitled douchebags via Fail Blog!

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Text - Audi TT still for sale? 06:45 It is mate but l'm going away for a week as of tomorrow so will have to deal with it when I'm back next Friday 06:54 I wanted to pick it up today if possible... 06:55

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Text - I'm at uni this morning then I've got to go Xmas shopping so not sure if l'll get chance mate. I may have some time to sort it out after 7pm if that's any good for you? 06:57 No that doesnt work for me I wanted to pik it up this afternoon. I have cash waiting 07:00 15k in cash? 07:01 No! I'm willin to pay 6k that's my max! 07:02

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Text - You must have the wrong advert dude. Mine's up for 15 07:02 I got the right advert. Black Edition quattro. I have 6k in cash right now so will come asap and not mess you about 07:04

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Text - Well, I was kind of hoping that the asking price would have been in cash as I've stopped accepting giro cheques as a form of payment. You're messing me about now as it's 7am and you're offering silly money. If you turn up with 15k it's yours and will arrange to meet you in the afternoon. 07:08 I told you already I only have 6k!!! I will come asap and collect it. Donf be a dik I really like this car. Wats your address? 07:09

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Text - I like the car also, which is why I won't be letting it go for 9k less than what it's worth. And I'm not being a "dik", it's 7am and I've got stuff to do. When you're ready to make a serious offer let me know :) 07:12 Waste of fukin time!!! Absolute dikhead 07:13

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Text - Actually mate, I've just had a word with my partner and she said she's happy for me to let it go for 6k as she's just got a nice bonus from work so can afford to lose 9k. l'll even chuck in a full tank of fuel and some extra alloys. As long as you don't mess about when you get here. I want a quick sale as l've got stuff to crack on with 07:16

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Text - I thought you wud say that. No way that cars worth more than 7k! 07:21 Yea you're right mate I was just trying my luck really. You know how it is with cars these days. People always want more than they're worth 07:22

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Text - I no my stuff mate. Been in the car game for years. What address? I can come noW seen as your up 07:25 Yea I didn't wake up this early for any specific reason I just do it for a laugh. Can meet you at 8am if you like? Address is Redditch. Let me know when you're outside :) 07:27 Advert says Worcester!!! Not a problem as I live in bromsgrove so will be there just after 8 07:27

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Text - The advert also said 15k but you never took much notice of that e See you shortly 07:28 Post code? 07:29 We don't have one here mate. The combination of numbers and letters confuses some of the older residents on the street so the post man said it was sound if they just use their full address 07:30

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Text - Ok. Strange. See you in a bit 07:30 Sat nav says there is no 987!!! 07:34 It's a new build mate. Just follow it to the end of the road and you'll see the bovis development signs 07:35

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Text - 5 mins away 08:07 Ok dude. Take it steady, there's a lot of morons on the way to Redditch this morning e 08:08 On the road now. Been up and down twice but can't see any new houses 08:18

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Text - I say new, it's new to me but was probably built in the 60s. Can you see a blue door with a drive way and a tree? 08:20 There's a green door with a tree outside. Is that the 1? 08:21 That's the one pal 08:23 Can't see a TT on the drive. 08:24 It's in the garage mate. Safe and sound 00.04

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Text - There is no garage. Only a shitty vauxall vectra on the drive 08:26 Knock on the door and see if they'll take 6k for it 08:26 Answer your phone!!!!!! 08:27 I'm in the shower mate. Be down in 2 secs just got to dry my hair :) 08:28

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Text - Fuck!!!!! Do you know who your messing with!!!! Answer your phone now!!!!! 08:28 Answer it!!!!! 08:29 What's your name? 08:29 I ain't tellin u my fucjin name!!! Answer your phone!!! 08:29

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Text - Well then yes, you're right, I don't know who im messing with. I don't answer the phone to strangers. Can't be too careful as there's a lot of weirdos about these days. 08:30 I'll find you!!!! 08:31 Well you've got my addres.. 08:31 !!I ...·. 08:32

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Fifteen Salty People Talk About The Times They Got Effed Over In School

Everyone has an experience they’ll never get over from their schooling years. Maybe you got punished once for something you didn’t do, or maybe it was that time that your first grade teacher yelled at you in front of the class for getting a math question wrong (looking at you, Ms. Anderson). The following people took to Twitter to reveal the things they’re still pissed off about, and we can’t say we blame them.

Everyone has an experience they’ll never get over from their schooling years. Maybe you got punished once for something you didn’t do, or maybe it was that time that your first grade teacher yelled at you in front of the class for getting a math question wrong (looking at you, Ms. Anderson). The following people took to Twitter to reveal the things they’re still pissed off about, and we can’t say we blame them.

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Text - Justin Boldaji u @justinboldaji I became radicalized when I was in 4th grade & I took a science test & studied hard for it & ended up completely acing it but when I was done with the test I was bored & drew monsters in the margins of the paper & my teacher gave me a 90 out of 100 because of the monsters

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Text - Karlie Marks @KarlieMarks · 9h my senior thesis had a point knocked off for using the word "wed" instead of "married" even though wed fit the sentence structure better than married. also teach said she "didn't believe in perfect papers" and was really just looking for a place to dock my grade. 27 8 534 O BISEXUAL BITCH| @_aurely · 9h NTIAU My history teacher would often take points away from me for having a "correct answer but not the one I'm looking for" 360

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Text - Choo Choo, Motherfucker @valiscariot · 6h At some point in grade school I failed a math test because I answered questions that went negative correctly instead of writing "no answer" because the class hadn't been taught that yet. Pretty sure I haven't tried since then 43 Choo Choo, Motherfucker @valiscariot · 5h I should add I had no way of knowing the class hadn't been taught that; I had just gotten back from Disneyworld 26

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Text - @guttermice My 5th grade teacher used to bully me in front of the whole class and would make me cry and tell me to get thicker skin. I requested to get transferred from her class and she said ok go to another class so I grabbed my stuff and she laughed and said jk I hope she gets coughed on 15:56 · 09 May 20 · Twitter for iPhone

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Text - Don't Call Me Lady @cornmaes Replying to @justinboldaji 4th grade teacher called me to the front of the class to tell me that no one was going to want to marry me because I was so annoying. I was being bullied hard- core and she didn't believe me when I told her so she tried to convince my mom I had schizophrenia and was hearing shit

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Text - Leah @ubersle In 4th grade, I answered the quiz question, "What do you call an animal that eats only plants?" as herbivore. My teacher marked it wrong and said it was 'vegetarian.' I'd have taken that to the Supreme Court such was my wrath. 18:11 · 09 May 20 · Twitter for iPhone

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Text - pj * @noloveformylove in 3rd grade i got a 100% on a test but i forgot to put my name on it. it was my first time forgetting my name but i was the only one who forgot to put my name so she knew it was mine, but she wanted to 'make an example' of me so she ripped it up in front of everyone. i got an F. 20:50 · 09 May 20 · Twitter for iPhone

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Text - wicker the baby tree @InkstoneWicker oh also i was forced to sit outside the classroom in the hall because i was reading better than my peers and, apparently, making them feel bad. i was singled out and isolated because i liked to read as a hobby. they made me a spectacle. i got so bullied, i had to switch schools. 19:02 · 09 May 20 Twitter for Android 1 Retweet 22 Likes

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Text - Chaos Goblin @AvroArlo When my brother was in the first grade, they were told they had 60 seconds to get outside during a fire drill. When another student asked how long that was, my brother said "it's a minute". Cue my parents getting called to the school over "teaching him outside of class" 18:01 · 09 May 20 · Twitter Web App

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Text - HTTPaladin @HTTPaladin · 5h Chamon My second grade teacher kept a desk in the back that only had a puzzle that only I worked on that I was able to use whenever I finished my work early. In the third gradeI got told to stay in my seat, bored, until everyone else finished. Rage. 27 37 Christina Winds @ChristinaWinds · 2h I credit teachers like this for becoming a writer. I would read after I finished my work - except shitty teachers would take away my books bcuz I should be 'focusing on cla

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Text - Mike Provencher @RevilFox 1h Replying to @justinboldaji My 6th grade Home Room teacher had a deal where if you do all of your homework for 14 straight days, for every class, and get it signed off by every teacher, she would buy you McDonald's for lunch. I did it, and when I showed her she said, "Yeah, this deal isn't for you." 4 27 kris @thegirlkris · 47m Wow I hope she fucking chokes O 3

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Text - quarantined fka O, fka @coopercooperco I once went to the principal's office in like first or second grade for “holding a pretzel stick in my mouth like a cigarette." They made me call my parents. 14:19 · 09 May 20 · Twitter for iPhone 107 Likes

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Text - Just Your Local Anime Guy @Mendinso Replying to @justinboldaji and @YorPalSal I got a 3 hour detention because a kid harassed me in classroom, screamed at him in response, teacher walked in, had us both go to the office. Kid got jack shit. I got a detention for "disrupting the class". Teacher even bought the kid's excuse for wanting to show "his snake".

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Text - Meredith Schwartz @Kalendaries · 8h When I was in 8th grade my social studies teacher told us to write a two page paper on a Russian historical figure as if it were an autobiography. I got Tolstoy. I read War and Peace in a weekend and turned in a 21 page paper in my best pastiche of Tolstoy's style.. 2 27 3 100 Meredith Schwartz @Kalendaries· 8h ..and got a grade taken off because I left the ragged edges on my notebook paper 27 3 155 Kaila @Kaila20250315 · 4h Give me your teacher's numbe

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Text - Cough On Kelly Loeffler @sydneymsteingm1 This makes me think of my 8th grade English teacher who would NEVER give a 100 on essays because she “didn't believe in the perfect paper". She gave me a 95 once bc the words weren't close enough to the margin 17:05 · 09 May 20 · Twitter for iPhone

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Tumblr Story: A Selfless Farmer With A Noble Heart

Man, this is one of those Tumblr stories that never gets old. It’s a beautiful tale full of vivid imagery, meaningful sentiments, and a whole lot of feels. The story also possesses this humble nature about it, which might just leave the reader smiling with some misty eyes by the end of it. 

If you’re looking for more gold from Tumblr, check out this wild Tumblr thread on the insane medieval battle tactics.

Man, this is one of those Tumblr stories that never gets old. It’s a beautiful tale full of vivid imagery, meaningful sentiments, and a whole lot of feels. The story also possesses this humble nature about it, which might just leave the reader smiling with some misty eyes by the end of it. 

If you’re looking for more gold from Tumblr, check out this wild Tumblr thread on the insane medieval battle tactics.

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Dude Tries To Get His ‘Beta’ Friend To Break Up With His Girlfriend, Cringe Ensues

As far as cringey online interactions go, this one is definitely up there for the amount of discomfort it makes us feel. It takes a lot of guts (read: stupidity) to ask your friend if he’ll break up with his girlfriend for you. This dude very clearly gives zero f*cks!

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Story - "Hey man, can I talk to you about"

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Story - "I guess so what about her"

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Story - "I've been talking with her a lot and we've grown pretty close. know you're her boyfriend and all but I was gonna politely ask if you could break up with her? I just really feel a connection to her and she would be happy with me"

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Story - "That's funny because she told me you were creepy and constantly text her even when she doesn't reply. You need to stop talking to my girlfriend and get tf out of my dms"

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Meme - "LOL"

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Text - You know she's just using that as an excuse because she'd rather tell you that then the truth, which is that she met a nice, charming alpha male

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Text - You betas are all the same.

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Text - Wtf did you make her block me

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Text - Tbh I should thank you I didn't even want that ugly whore have fun with her anyway though beta Double tap to like

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Text - You're insane Message...

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GIFTUBE COM

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Forehead

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Evicted Business Strips Everything to Foil Landlord

The landlord expected this business to just leave their stuff so he could sell the whole space to their competitors, but they were having none of it. For more landlord drama, here’s a guy who went full Karen when threatened with eviction and revenge that ensued when a landlord who broke the law. Here’s another where a landlord refused to give back a deposit so court revenge followed.

The landlord expected this business to just leave their stuff so he could sell the whole space to their competitors, but they were having none of it. For more landlord drama, here’s a guy who went full Karen when threatened with eviction and revenge that ensued when a landlord who broke the law. Here’s another where a landlord refused to give back a deposit so court revenge followed.

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Text - r/MaliciousCompliance Posted by u/poshbo 2 days ago 4 Landlord advertises all of our company's equipment for sale to our competitors. Best follow our eviction to the letter. ос м TI;dr (SPOILERS) landlord gives us 7 days to vacate our leisure business from the building, he thinks we cant empty the business during lockdown, and proceeds to advertise OUR equipment for sale to our competition. We sell everything in 7 days and destroy the rest. Enjoy no rent and the loss of your potential buy

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Text - In every other sight vacation we have seen, we always end up leaving thousands of $$ worth of disco lights in the ceilings because they're too hard to get. We leave most the construction in, as well as things like the bars and kitchens that all stay intact (recognisable as what they once were) but not this building. We ripped up the flooring we installed, tore down the walls that were not part of the original structure (Wooden walls to divide up the space) ripped apart our manager's offic

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Text - Lockdown has been extended another 4 weeks, so he has at least another 4 weeks without rent (we were paying) and won't have any potential buyers. Silver lining: The assets we got out of the site (fridges, tv's, equipment, food, tables) have all been sold, and the lack of rent and additional income has helped the business and paid staff wages.

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Evil Stepmother’s Wedding Dress Ruined with Chocolate Skid Mark

This person’s step mom sounds like a pretty cruel customer, so it’s no surprise that cruelty came back to bite her in the form of a big chocolate skid mark on her wedding dress. For some more family drama that ended with justice, here’s Auntie Karen whose scam fell apart after offering exposure as payment. And for wedding drama, here are moments that proved that the wedding was a bad idea.

This person’s step mom sounds like a pretty cruel customer, so it’s no surprise that cruelty came back to bite her in the form of a big chocolate skid mark on her wedding dress. For some more family drama that ended with justice, here’s Auntie Karen whose scam fell apart after offering exposure as payment. And for wedding drama, here are moments that proved that the wedding was a bad idea.

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Text - r/pettyrevenge · Posted by u/katep2000 8 hours ago Ruining a wedding reception for fun and profit! When I was 13, so eight years ago, my dad remarried, after divorcing my mom 4 years before. Before the divorce, his fiancée had been his mistress. My mom is completely better off without him, and ignoring the fact that I wouldn't exist, I don't think she should have married him in the first place. Even if I think my parents weren't a good match, that's no excuse to cheat on your wife.

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Text - This woman was fucking vile in all sorts of ways. She constantly belittled me, made fun of the fact I needed to take pills for my mental illness (despite being a fucking pharmacist? I don't get it either) and was generally awful to me and my siblings. But she was a decade younger than my dad and reasonably hot, so he didn't give a shit how she treated us. The one time he actually listened to us about her is when they were thinking of having a baby and my brother said he'd ask our mom to s

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Text - So anyway, they got married. I was a bridesmaid, cause that bitch had no real friends. (The other two bridesmaids were her sister and my sister.) My brother was the best man, cause she didn't like my daď's best friend. He and my dad still don't talk to this day, even though the guy was like an uncle to me as a little kid. It was a wedding, everything went normally. But at the beginning of the reception, before the first dance, we were taking pictures in front of a chocolate fountain, look

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Text - Anyway, I kinda snapped, and decided she was gonna pay for this. No one noticed (or at least no one called me out) when I started slowly moving the chocolate fountain towards the edge of the table. When it got to the edge, it makes contact with the back of that pure white wedding dress and slowly drips down. By the time she notices, it looks like she's shit herself. But for all anyone else knows this was an accident. She has no spare dress, and that stain is not coming out. So first dance

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Uber Driver Calls Bluff of Scamming Customer

After enough of this guy’s passengers cancelled rides, he decided to call a passenger’s bluff with a bluff of his own. All in all, this is probably a pretty bad idea. There’s probably a better way to get someone out of your car that won’t result in a possible kidnapping case, but it looks like this at least got some results. There are some folks who just don’t give a heck. For more stories of customer shenanigans, here are dumb things people did in stores.

After enough of this guy’s passengers cancelled rides, he decided to call a passenger’s bluff with a bluff of his own. All in all, this is probably a pretty bad idea. There’s probably a better way to get someone out of your car that won’t result in a possible kidnapping case, but it looks like this at least got some results. There are some folks who just don’t give a heck. For more stories of customer shenanigans, here are dumb things people did in stores.

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Text - Text - Posted by u/smkAce0921 16 hours ago You want a Free Ride?...Fine, I'll take you to Mexico oC L In 2018, I lived in southern CA while I was finishing up graduate school. Uber was more popular than ever and given how spread out CA is in general was an easy side hustle to shuttle people back and forth. However, I only did it for a little while because I'm not really the most patient person and eventually got tired of people's BS and attitudes. One of the common tactics for customers l

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Text - Text - It was about 430 in the afternoon on a Tuesday when I decided to log on and catch some fares. Most people go into the office on Tuesdays and Thursdays and are looking to get rides home between 4-5 pm to beat the traffic. At this point, I should mention that I was living in San Diego. If you know the area, you'd know that many people work in the city and Ilive in the outer areas (Chula Vista, Imperial Beach, Escondido, Pacific Beach) because its cheaper. The day of the event (oh yes

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Text - Text - I told her not a problem and to just rebook the route. Well at this point, all those people I told you about earlier had just got off of work and we were in what I call the "Power Hour" of maximum surge pricing. La Jolla is like 25-40 minutes from downtown San Diego depending on traffic. I looked and the trip would have cost her $70. She told me that she wasn't going to pay that. I said fine and I asked that she exit my vehicle. SHE REFUSED and told me to take her home like I was h

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Text - I asked her if she wanted a "free ride"...she suddenly perked up and said "I knew you'd come around, you are such a nice guy". I said buckle up and we got on Interstate 5. Here is the part where I tell you that San Diego is 16 miles from the Mexican border. I also keep my passport in my glove compartment because I did volunteer work in Rosarito every so often. We were about 4 minutes into the ride when she asked where we were going. I turned around and told her "I'm going to Tijuana and I

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Text - turning back. I also told her that I wasn't taking her back. Well she got the message and pleaded for me to pull over. I pulled over and dropped her off at the outlet mall in San Ysidro at the border. Just for shits and giggles I checked the Uber rate from the mall to La Jolla and the cheapest rate was $87 for a pool ride. I didn't make any money that night but that was the richest experience I had while being a rideshare driver. I stopped about 1 month later and sold my car. EDIT: For th

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Woman Details Her Chickens’ Charming Lesbian Relationship

What started as a quarantine buddy with a silly name developed into a hen relationship. If only love stories in our own lives could be so straightforward. For some more stuff about animals, here’s a funny list of all the animals one Tumblr user’s grandpa brought home.

What started as a quarantine buddy with a silly name developed into a hen relationship. If only love stories in our own lives could be so straightforward. For some more stuff about animals, here’s a funny list of all the animals one Tumblr user’s grandpa brought home.

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Adaptation - Amanda Brunton @Amand... · 19h This is Domino. She's a hen we rescued. She wants to lay an egg, but has to keep stopping in order to SCREAM AT THE WIND every time there's a big gust. Life as a chicken is very complicated sometimes. 2,523 views 27 30 160

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Text - Amanda Brunton @Amand. 10h v Just over a year ago, our neighbours asked me if I was missing a chicken, because one had been spotted on the meadow outside our house (I was not missing a hen). About 6 weeks later someone caught the hen and brought her to me, assuming she was mine (she was not). 76 27 53 256 Amanda Brunton @Amand.. · 10h She was very thin and weak so I brought her indoors and set about finding her owner. She clearly loved being around people and we assumed she was a pet. We

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Text - Amanda Brunton @Amand.. 10h v New hens have to be quarantined, preferably with a quarantine buddy. That way, if they have recovered from something infectious but remain a carrier, you'll find out when the other bird gets sick. I learned some carpentry and made her a coop, and bought her a new friend. 27 5 145 Amanda Brunton @Amand.. · 10h v The big grey bird is a bantam Brahma - full size brahmas are HUGE. They are gentle giants though, and we figured that a big bird would defend Domino,

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Text - Amanda Brunton @Amand. · 10h v Domino wasn't delighted with losing her heated towel rail privileges or sharing her new palace with a stranger, but the two hens quickly became best buds. A few weeks later and with neither bird sick, they were ready to start being introduced to my other girls. 2 106 Amanda Brunton @Amandy. · 9h To start, we moved the quarantine coop close to the other birds so they could see each other, but not touch before letting them spend time together. This is Cleo, on

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Chicken - Amanda Brunton @Amandycat Replying to @Amandycat @notanastronomer and 3 others They went straight for each others faces, bit off a chunk of each others' combs and there was BLOOD EVERYWHERE. This is her 'I'm not locked in here with you. YOU'RE LOCKED IN HERE WITH ME' face. This is also the point at which I started to wonder wtf I had brought upon myself 2:12 · 26 Feb 20 · Twitter for iPhone

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Text - Amanda Brunton @Amand.. 10h We EVENTUALLY got Domino to calm tf down by supervising short visits with the other girls and gradually increasing the amount of time she spent with them. She's half the size of my other birds but was not satisfied until she was officially head of the pecking order. 27 102 Amanda Brunton @Amandycat Replying to @Amandycat @notanastronomer and 3 others Meanwhile Michelle, the freaking ENORMOUS bird we brought in to 'protect' the sweet little bantam we adopted (ha

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Text - Amanda Brunton @Amandy... · 9h v Replying to @Amandycat @notanastronomer and 3 others Domino now HUSTLES RIGHT IN THERE if the other birds are giving her big dumb friend any trouble. They go to sleep at night separate to the other chickens, all snuggled up together, usually with one tucked under the other's wing. 274 ♡ 178 Amanda Brunton @Amandy... · 9h v The other thing I have noticed is that if I bring in any treats and Michelle is too timid to get a look in, Domino goes and grabs some,

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Text - Amanda Brunton @Amandycat Replying to @Amandycat @notanastronomer and 3 others I mentioned this to the breeder that I bought Michelle from recently, and she says she's only ever seen this behaviour as something roosters do for their favourite hen. So basically, I've had adorable little chicken-y lesbians in my back garden the whole time and I DIDN'T REALISE 2:21 · 26 Feb 20 · Twitter for iPhone

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Text - Amanda Brunton @Amandy.. ·9h v Replying to @Amandycat @notanastronomer and 3 others (I am the worst chicken parent) 27 90 Amanda Brunton @Amandy... · 9h So anyway, we have had Domino and Michelle for just a smidgen over a year now. Domino has calmed down enough that she is no longer a feathery little ball of rage *all* the time, though windy days bring out the worst in her. Michelle is adorable scaredy/cat goofball. THE END 180

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Egg - Amanda Brunton @Amandycat Replying to @Amandycat @notanastronomer and 3 others Postscript, since everyone loves Domino and Michelle: Michelle has laid two, TWO eggs in the year we have had her. Laying eggs is over-rated. Domino lays green (!) eggs like a feathery little machine gun and then goes broody and turns into a small angry dinosaur.

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Text - Amanda Brunton @Amandycat Replying to @Amandycat @notanastronomer and 3 others We don't have any roosters, so letting a hen stay broody is bad for her - she will sit on the eggs, barely eating or drinking, waiting for them to hatch until they go rotten. Hence, we have 'chicken jail' (pictured, one of Michelle's two eggs with a blue one from my legbars)

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Text - Amanda Brunton @Amandy... · 9h v Why is Michelle in chicken jail you ask? We send Domino there to keep her off the nest and get her out of her broody fit ASAP. If you don't put Michelle in with her, they both go nuts squawking and throwing themselves at the bars, trying to get back together again. 27 1 141 Amanda Brunton @Amandycat Replying to @Amandycat @notanastronomer and 3 others Michelle spends a LOT of summertime incarcerated along with her broody girlfriend e 2:38 · 26 Feb 20 · Twi

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Girlfriend Buries Beans in Woods, It Escalates

Times are definitely unpredictable. There were Karens hoarding toilet paper and people making memes about nature returning. That said, it’s highly doubtful that things are so unpredictable that anyone would need to hide a secret stash of beans in order to thwart any possible bean looters in the near future. This guy’s girlfriend did just that, and things kinda went from there.

Times are definitely unpredictable. There were Karens hoarding toilet paper and people making memes about nature returning. That said, it’s highly doubtful that things are so unpredictable that anyone would need to hide a secret stash of beans in order to thwart any possible bean looters in the near future. This guy’s girlfriend did just that, and things kinda went from there.

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Text - This was too insane for me and I got very upset. I demanded to know where the beans were buried, and she refused to tell me. She said if I knew she was afraid I'd dig them up, I said damn right I would. She said "I will never jeopardize the beans." The following day I tried to put my foot down, and I'm not usually a foot downer but there are rare issues where compromise is out of the question, and I foolishly decided this was one of those issues. I demanded to know where the beans were bu

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Nineteen Clever And Creepy Stories Told In Just Two Sentences

It may not be October, but we’re always down for some creepy content. That’s why we were pretty stoked to learn about the subreddit /r/TwoSentenceHorror where people tell their spookiest stories in, yes, just two sentences. It lends itself to some unexpected creativity that we think you’re gonna like. Want more creepy stories? Head on over to Fail Blog!

It may not be October, but we’re always down for some creepy content. That’s why we were pretty stoked to learn about the subreddit /r/TwoSentenceHorror where people tell their spookiest stories in, yes, just two sentences. It lends itself to some unexpected creativity that we think you’re gonna like. 

Want more creepy stories? Head on over to Fail Blog!

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Text - r/TwoSentenceHorror Posted by u/DayerethDdraigson • 3mo All my life, my parents have told me not to open the basement door, but I got curious and disobeyed them. What is that glowing ball in the sky and why does it hurt my eyes? 30,7k 310 Share

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Text - r/TwoSentenceHorror Posted by u/EarthMarsUranus 3mo It's been almost a decade since I last saw my mother. And she still reminds me every day that if I misbehave again she'll take my hearing too. 20,8k 143 Share

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Text - r/TwoSentenceHorror + JOIN Posted by u/Bujidou • 1mo 1 S 1 One night a snowman popped up into the field behind our house. As the weather got warmer we finally found out what happened to that missing child. 1 11,0k 124 Share

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Text - r/TwoSentenceHorror + JOIN Posted by u/Deiun · 24d ..she said last time, we're stuck in a time loop Which really pisses me off because that's what... 21,9k 323 Share

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Text - r/TwoSentenceHorror JOIN Posted by u/Didgery72 · 4mo I blink rapidly as my boyfriend and I smile at the police officer. I just pray he knows Morse code. 12,8k 195 Share

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Text - r/TwoSentenceHorror +JOIN Posted by u/Lyrana655 · 3mo My baby screamed as the water he was dunked in made his skin burn and peel "That's never happened before" the priest said, horrified 10,4k 173 Share

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Text - r/TwoSentenceHorror Posted by u/MrsGardevoir • 4mo "You're so lucky to have such a sweet boyfriend!", they say, and I smile. But looking him in the eyes, I can tell I didn't smile wide enough. 13,4k 159 Share

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Text - r/TwoSentenceHorror Posted by u/aesthetebby 13d "Honey, monsters aren't real" Little does she know, I'm not her son. 1 1,0k 26 Share

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Text - r/TwoSentenceHorror + JOIN Posted by u/[deleted] • 1mo The new medication worked and the internal voices that always told me what to do went silent. "Kill them all", I thought, and this time nobody argued back. 14,8k 164 Share

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Text - r/TwoSentenceHorror + JOIN Posted by u/Tatsuya-• 1mo 1 S 7 Please, take me instead! I scream, grabbing at the two men who took my child "Sorry ma'am, children only" they said, as they continue loading up the last lifeboat on the ship. 20,2k 288 Share

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Text - r/TwoSentenceHorror Posted by u/JustARegularToaster • 6mo I must admit, lucid dreaming really is as amazing as people say. But after 2 years, i'd like to wake up again. + 17,9k 530 Share

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Text - r/TwoSentenceHorror + JOIN Posted by u/Magical77 7mo My brother and I sat down with the ouija board, and both place our hands on the planchette, He said "Cole are you here with me?" I moved the planchette to yes. 1 9,4k 188 Share

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Text - r/TwoSentenceHorror JOIN Posted by u/coolmemz · 5mo Everyday I get a letter from myself one day into the future. Today I didn't get anything. 8,9k 157 Share

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Text - r/TwoSentenceHorror Posted by u/RhinoBarbarian 3mo The world was thrilled with the announcement that the first mission to Mars would be an all female crew. One year later, the world was terrified when they all returned pregnant. 15,2k 273 Share

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Text - r/TwoSentenceHorror Posted by u/Colourblindness. Christmas Contes.. 2 My family moved a lot when was younger. Every time we saw a picture of me on a telephone pole, we would pack up. 11,2k 120 Share

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Text - r/TwoSentenceHorror Posted by u/Gallantmirth • 7mo I watched the monster's jagged claws inch slowly out from under the bed. "I won't let him touch you again, I promise" it assured me as my dad crept into the room. 1 15,0k 189 Share

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Text - r/TwoSentenceHorror Posted by u/TitusPotPie · 4mo My four year old said he wished that people didn't have to knock. I told him about doorbells, and he asked me to install one on his window. 14,3k 128 Share

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Text - r/TwoSentenceHorror Posted by u/minithemermaid • 5mo Two eyes peered at me through the darkness, then disappeared again. "No, no survivors down here," I heard the rescue searcher say. 1 16,1k 89 Share

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Text - r/TwoSentenceHorror +JOIN Posted by u/[deleted] 25d O 1 4 1 S 1 The aliens arrived with a message of peace and love for Earth. And as the first gesture of goodwill they removed the human parasites from its surface. 13,1k 193 Share

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Angry Karen Writes Facebook Letter Demanding An End To The ‘Karen Crisis’

Well if this isn’t the most ironic message exchange we’ve ever seen. One particularly angry Karen was so fed up with the “Karen” trope that she messaged the admin of the Facebook group No, KaReN to complain about how bigoted she felt the group was. Well, lucky for us the admin had quite the sense of humor and decided to indulge her frustrations. Let’s just say, the whole thing is incredibly ironic and hilarious. Want more Karen content? We’ve got tons.

Well if this isn’t the most ironic message exchange we’ve ever seen. One particularly angry Karen was so fed up with the “Karen” trope that she messaged the admin of the Facebook group No, KaReN to complain about how bigoted she felt the group was. Well, lucky for us the admin had quite the sense of humor and decided to indulge her frustrations. Let’s just say, the whole thing is incredibly ironic and hilarious. 

Want more Karen content? We’ve got tons.

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Text - Karen Karen O on mobile Hello, my name is Karen messaging you today due to a new trend going around referring to a demeaning term used to degrade middle aged white women. I'm part of a feminist movement called months. I'm also doing a story on my page about this, and you're free to come look at it to get better educated on racism and it's effects on society as a whole, it's I'm in recent

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Text - I've looked at your group, and observed the posts you make on your page, and frankly they're quite demeaning. I found it after my 24 year old daughter started showing me "people being Karen's in public".

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Text - Now, while I don't understand exactly the point of calling people "Karen" and feeling the need to think we're all a certain way, and we complain about everything, because we don't. I've noticed there are over 20,000 people in this group called "No, Karen" and this page called Karen the manager, which content is equally offensive.

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Text - I've reported it as harassment as a whole to Facebook, and left them my input, and forwarded them twitter posts where someone finally got tired of it and said enough is enough.

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Text - I think you need to be a bit more sensitive as to who you are ultimately hurting here in the long run continuing this trend everyone follows on Facebook.

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Text - This trend needs to end, so I'm asking you to change the topic of your group and name, otherwise l'm going to have to take action in a court of law to have it taken down and your content removed as it can be construed as racist to a certain extent. I will be asking my daughter to leave the group as it's highly disrespectful when I try to tell her something and all she says is l'm being "a karen". It's extremely frustrating. Thank you, have a nice day.

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Text - MaNaGeR Well, Karen, as much as I laughed at this message, I can't tell if you're serious or just plain crazy. My Facebook page/group has nothing to do with "middle aged white women". No, KaReN.

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Text - The term "Karen" isn't exactly used as an insult to people named Karen themselves (although, it's equally hilarious when their name actually is Karen). Although you feel it may have "ruined" your name, or you found it offensive, unfortunately we will not stop making "Karen" posts. They're absolutely everywhere, and we're here to tell you about them! You're more than welcome to report me to Facebook, I actually highly encourage it.

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Text - When you do, please forward me a picture of the actual Facebook report for my lawyers filing purposes!

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Text - I highly appreciate your feedback on our pages, as we always do, but as it stands right now, we don't give a fuck. Not even a little. Due to the Coronavirus pandemic going on right now, it's tough to get in and out of stores, so l'm currently on Amazon looking for a fuck to give you. I hope I can find one. With our sincere apologies, - No, KaReN admin.

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Text - It's absolutely outrageous to think that someone with your demeanor runs large groups of people on social media thinking there will be no recourse as to what's said on your public forum. You're highly disrespectful, and I've just sent in my report to Facebook. If that will not work, I will be calling my lawyer first thing Friday morning. I'm going to singlehandedly stop these racist remarks throughout the country as it's disgusting the way you demean middle aged white women. You think you

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Text - MaNaGeR Dear Karen out of fucks t00, still looking. I think you're misinterpreting what this page is for. You Unfortunately Amazon was No, KaReN. messaged me with a complaint about my page, I responded. Now, you're just seemingly being purposefully cunty.

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Font - I've tried to point this out in our last message, but l'm not sure if there is much more I can say.

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Text - I personally, as the owner of said page/group, don't give not one fuck about your "feelings" about the name and/or content posted on MY page/group. You're more than welcome to take advantage of the report button, or do whatever you feel necessary to "end this Karen crisis".

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Text - After looking at your pages (you asked me to), I couldn't help but to notice how much of a self loathing, self righteous, bible thumping hypocrite you are. You literally leave trash reviews, on seemingly everywhere you go. You're a karen, with the name Karen. The fact that you even MESSAGED me about YOU being offended makes you a diehard Karen.

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Text - Answer me this, I really have to clarify, do you REALLY think you'll get the world to stop saying "karen" because it's demeaning and racist, "to a certain extent" of course. Right?

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Text - Karen, I really look forward to your next message please message us back promptly if you haven't called the police yet.

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Fanatical Christian Girl Sets G-Rated Ground Rules For Friend’s Vegas Bachelorette Party

Dear God (no pun intended), this story is a hoot if we ever saw one. When this girl didn’t get invited to her friend’s bachelorette party in Vegas, she made a scene until the bride decided to invite her. It doesn’t stop there though: she then sent out an email with a list of very Christian-influenced “rules” for the bride and her friends, and let’s just say they’re quite tame for a bachelorette getaway in Sin City…

Dear God (no pun intended), this story is a hoot if we ever saw one. When this girl didn’t get invited to her friend’s bachelorette party in Vegas, she made a scene until the bride decided to invite her. It doesn’t stop there though: she then sent out an email with a list of very Christian-influenced “rules” for the bride and her friends, and let’s just say they’re quite tame for a bachelorette getaway in Sin City…

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Tinder Dates that Went South Fast

It’s all fun and games until you find out your date is trying to sign you up for a pyramid scheme. There are a lot of lighthearded funny tinder triumphs and failures, but when things move from text to the real world, they can lead to awkward and bad first dates. Hopefully they’re just awkward. Some are terribly creepy and weird.

It’s all fun and games until you find out your date is trying to sign you up for a pyramid scheme. There are a lot of lighthearded funny tinder triumphs and failures, but when things move from text to the real world, they can lead to awkward and bad first dates. Hopefully they’re just awkward. Some are terribly creepy and weird.

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Twitter Thread Tells The Story Of A Muslim Key-Keeper At A Holy Site In Jerusalem

For the first time since the Black Death in 1349, the Church of the Holy Sepulchre in Jerusalem was closed amid coronavirus fears. Journalist David Videcette took to Twitter to tell the story of the Muslim family that has guarded the keys to the church since the seventh century. 

Scroll down for your history lesson for the day, but if you’re craving more educational content, click here for some history memes!

For the first time since the Black Death in 1349, the Church of the Holy Sepulchre in Jerusalem was closed amid coronavirus fears. Journalist David Videcette took to Twitter to tell the story of the Muslim family that has guarded the keys to the church since the seventh century. 

Scroll down for your history lesson for the day, but if you’re craving more educational content, click here for some history memes!

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Woman Purchases Freshwater Shrimp, Spontaneous Love Ensues

@TheBugChicks shared a story about her experience with a couple chill, adventuresome freshwater shrimp named, Marty and Sal. In a moment of panic this woman experienced the stirring experience of love for a couple freshwater shrimp, that she didn’t anticipate feeling, in the first place. It sounds like Marty and Sal are well on their way to getting set up with a stellar new crib. Right on. 

@TheBugChicks shared a story about her experience with a couple chill, adventuresome freshwater shrimp named, Marty and Sal. In a moment of panic this woman experienced the stirring experience of love for a couple freshwater shrimp, that she didn’t anticipate feeling, in the first place. It sounds like Marty and Sal are well on their way to getting set up with a stellar new crib. Right on. 

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Guy Who Didn’t Work at Walmart Fired by Walmart Manager

This random dude wearing a blue shirt had a run-in with a manager who was eager to fire someone she didn’t even recognize. This one’s kind of the opposite of this chef who was hired by a law firm just to foil the security guard. Employees of huge retail chains have to put up with some strange problems at work, like this guy who got hired and through a series of mistakes, never did anything but still stayed employed for months

This random dude wearing a blue shirt had a run-in with a manager who was eager to fire someone she didn’t even recognize. This one’s kind of the opposite of this chef who was hired by a law firm just to foil the security guard. Employees of huge retail chains have to put up with some strange problems at work, like this guy who got hired and through a series of mistakes, never did anything but still stayed employed for months

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