Funny Times May 2020 Issue

Cartoons about Quarantine . Handshakes . Dinner Parties . Mother’s Day . Hair . Screams . Running . Fame . Conventions . Surgery  and more! Buy This Issue With cartoons by: Isabella Bannerman, Jennifer Berman, Bizarro, Harry Bliss, Ruben Bolling, Matt Bors, William Brown, Jon Carter, Todd Condron, Dave Coverly, J.C. Duffy, Martha Gradisher, Buddy Hickerson, Jeff Hobbs, David Horsey, …[ Read More ]

Cartoons about Quarantine . Handshakes . Dinner Parties . Mother’s Day . Hair . Screams . Running . Fame . Conventions . Surgery  and more!

Buy This Issue

With cartoons by: Isabella Bannerman, Jennifer Berman, Bizarro, Harry Bliss, Ruben Bolling, Matt Bors, William Brown, Jon Carter, Todd Condron, Dave Coverly, J.C. Duffy, Martha Gradisher, Buddy Hickerson, Jeff Hobbs, David Horsey, John Jonik, Ham Khan, Keith Knight, Mary Lawton, Scott Masear, Brian McFadden, Chris Monroe, P.S. Mueller, A. Owsley, Nina Paley, Mark Parisi, Joel Pett, Rina Piccolo, K.A. Polzin, Hilary Price, Ted Rall, Graham Sale, Maria Scrivan, Andy Singer, Jen Sorensen, Mark Stivers, Tom Toles, Tom Tomorrow,  Matt Wuerker, Zippy  . . .  and lots more!

Pandemonium: How To Invest Wisely Before The End Of The World
By Raymond Lesser

The Borowitz Report
By Andy Borowitz

Traveling Through The Heartland In The Time Of The Virus
By Stephen Lyons

Games For Quarantine
By Janet Periat

How To Shake Hand
By Matt Brauer

A Modern Dinner Party
By Lenore Skenazy

Hairdos & Self Esteem
By Gretchen Volk

You Can’t Kill The Wilhelm Scream
By Jim Nolan

Become An Influencer-Influencer And Make Mad Money!
By Chris Hume

Conventions
By Amy Schuster

Report From The Leafer Convention
By Robert Moll

Recovery From Knee Replacement Surgery
By Tim Jones

CDC Warns Against New Virus
By David Martin

PLUS:

Cartoons about Mother’s Day
Curmudgeon on Babies
Cartoons about the Surreal
Dave Maleckar’s 100 Word Rant
News Of The Weird
Harper’s Index
Cartoons about Running
News & Political Cartoons

 

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Security Guard At National Cowboy Museum Becomes Social Media Manager

Tim is bringing fire to the world of social media. Previously the Security Guard of the National Cowboy Museum, Tim was appointed the head of social media. What a gift for the rest of the world to enjoy. We love what you’re doing, Tim. 

Tim is bringing fire to the world of social media. Previously the Security Guard of the National Cowboy Museum, Tim was appointed the head of social media. What a gift for the rest of the world to enjoy. We love what you’re doing, Tim. 

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Hat - NATIONALCOWBOYMUSEUM Posts 14,550 others nationalcowboymuseum Hello Friends, my name is Tim and I am the head of security for The Cowboy. I have been asked to take on the additional duty of social media management while the museum is closed. I'm new to social media but excited to share what I am told is called "content" on all of The Cowboy's what I am told are "platforms" including the Twitter, the Facebook, and the Instagram. My team and I will also continue to protect and monitor the mu

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Table - nationalcowboymuseum Jand 4,576 others nationalcowboymuseum This is the hat and eyepatch the Duke wore in the movie True Grit. They are part of our Exhibition about the 2 True Grit movies called Two Grits. Lots of interesting props and clothes. I'm told I can't try it on. Hashtag John Wayne. Lucas, my grandson, told me to use hashtags. Thanks, Tim View all 95 comments March 17

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Outerwear - nationalcowboymuseum nd 4,202 others nationalcowboymuseum Thanks for all the tips, Friends. Realize I have been doing the hashtags wrong. I need to use that pound sign from the phone. I'm learning! Here's his costume from True Grit from 1969 courtesy of John Wayne Enterprises. #HashtagJohnWayne Thanks, Tim View all 108 comments March 19

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Photo caption - nationalcowboymuseum National Cowboy & Western Hert 5,012 likes nationalcowboymuseum Didn't get the Selfie Station photo quite right. I get it now. Here's the Selfie Station in the Warhol and the West running through May 10, 2020. Thanks, Tim View all 110 comments March 19 tage Museum st Selfie Sta

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Font - 9:35 NATIONALCOWBOYMUSEUM Posts View all 129 comments March 20 nationalcowboymuseum •.. and 4,834 others nationalcowboymuseum Here's a sculpture by Frederic Remington called The Bronco Buster cast no. 201 in 1918 by Roman Bronze Works. What do you guys think of it? Seth in marketing told me that asking questions on the social media is good for "engagement." Let's get engaged! LOL! Thanks, Tim I'm very happily married to Tina though. View all 175 comments March 20 (+) (+)

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Electronics - nationalcowboymuseum Clock, 5,525 likes nationalcowboymuseum Some nice person on here suggested I try posting a Tick Tock. Enjoy! This is from our Warhol and The West Exhibition. Roy Rogers Alarm Clock c. 1951. Metal with glass and printed ink on paper. From The Andy Warhol Museum, Pittsburgh; Founding Collection, Contribution The Andy Warhol Foundation for the Visual Arts, Inc. TC526.36 #HashtagTheCowboy Thanks, Tim View all 220 comments March 21

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T-shirt - nationalcowboymuseum #HashtagTheCowboy 9,713 likes nationalcowboymuseum Seth from Marketing told me that you guys have been asking for a t-shirt and here it is! Cowboys wear t-shirts too. Here's the web address to The Museum Store https:// store.nationalcowboymuseum.org/ #HashtagTheCowboy Thanks, Tim View all 440 comments March 30

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These Hilarious Memes Roast The Attention Seeking Ways Of YouTubers

We all know that YouTube vloggers have histrionic tendencies, but these memes really take it to the next level. We need more.

We all know that YouTube vloggers have histrionic tendencies, but these memes really take it to the next level. We need more.

1.

Hair - Follow @CoolDotCom Friend: you spilled water on me Youtuber: sorry let me help clean it up Youtuber: I SAVED MY FRIEND FROM DROWNING | Storytime

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Hair - Cast member: "the ride is closed right now, sorry." YouTuber: Disneyland HARRASED ME STORY TIME!! | WTF !?!!! :000 711,948 views MemeCenter.com

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Text - me: want to go get food? friend: sorry im at work me: Fake Friends blndsundoll4mj 566,447 views 19K I 5K

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Text - Barista: that's Stephanie with a ph, right? YouTuber: um yeah how'd you know.. Barista: idk I just guessed YouTuber: MY STARBUCKS STALKER | STORYTIME

5.

Hair - Crush: *looks at another girl for 0.54 seconds* Youtuber: MY CRUSH HAD SEX RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME|| STORY TIME 675,972 views 13K 653 Natan por

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Hair - Female Server: would you like some bread? Boyfriend: Yes please Youtuber: STORY TIME:I WAS THE SIDE CHICK?! 397,309 views 19K 399

7.

Face - uber driver: *drives over pothole* uber driver: sorry about that Youtuber: I almost died in an Uber... no clickbait (LIVE FOOTAGE): STORYTIME

8.

Hair - *hotel maid makes bed* youtuber: rert CRAZY FAN BROKE INTO MY HOTEL: STORYTIME

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Face - sami Follow @samilarsson store announcement: the store will be closing in 15 minutes youtuber: I GOT LOCKED IN A CLOSED MALL FOR HOURS *NOT CLICKBAIT* 309,434 views

10.

Text - elfma Follow @TEALPHIL person: it's fine just wash out the dirt that's in your eye and it'll be back to normal. youtuber: I Nearly Blinded Myself

11.

Hair - YouTuber: Oh my god who are you?!? Room Service: Room Service l've came to tidy your hotel room. YouTuber: olivia.cara olivieanc A STRANGER SNUCK INTO OUR HOTEL ROOM | VIDCON 2016 STORY TIME

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Text - frank Follow @franktbh Me: hey is this where the line starts? YouTuber: ASKED TO HAVE THREESOME AT STARBUCKS ! Story Time

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Product - *Woman sneezes on plane* Youtuber: SHE SCREAMED THE ENTIRE FLIGHT CaseyNeistat 2.9M views CaseyNeistat 13:16

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Text - drew Follow @drewistru starbucks employee: i forgot your straw omg give me one sec! youtuber: STORY TIME: MY STARBUCKS BARISTA HAD ALZHEIMERS?!??!?!?!??? RETWEETS LIKES 808 1,767

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Text - victoria Follow @zallfranta *goes to a Catholic university's frat party* youtuber: i did cocaine with the pope 30,192 views

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Hair - youtuber: you brought me diet coke instead of regular coke waiter: oh i'm sorry about that youtuber: I WAS POISONED | STORYTIME 199,404 views

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Hilarious Zoom Meeting Fails (22 Tweets)

Zoom meetings are inspiring all kinds of cringe and spontaneous fails. The realm of the Zoom meeting can be a tricky one to navigate. Not everyone understands how it works, and through that wonderful confusion, we get some comedy gems when attempts turned into failures. We’re still not over that time that a boss turned herself into a potato during a meeting, and couldn’t turn herself back. Now that is beautiful. 

Zoom meetings are inspiring all kinds of cringe and spontaneous fails. The realm of the Zoom meeting can be a tricky one to navigate. Not everyone understands how it works, and through that wonderful confusion, we get some comedy gems when attempts turned into failures. We’re still not over that time that a boss turned herself into a potato during a meeting, and couldn’t turn herself back. Now that is beautiful. 

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Toddler Leaves Unwanted Artwork On Car, Detailer Restores Faith In Humanity

What a wonderfully wholesome turn of events. Sometimes human beings tap into the element of surprise, and put some welcomed goodness back into the universe. This appears to be one of those times. 

What a wonderfully wholesome turn of events. Sometimes human beings tap into the element of surprise, and put some welcomed goodness back into the universe. This appears to be one of those times. 

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Twitter Debate: Captain America Or Optimus Prime As Most Inspirational

Ah, yes, people on Twitter have found another thing to butt heads over. This time, the stirring argument centers on whether Optimus Prime or Captain America was more inspirational. A fair share of folks express a mad passion for how Optimus Prime just got their blood boiling in the most intense of ways. One dude was ready to battle his TV after Optimus Prime said some words. That’s real.

Ah, yes, people on Twitter have found another thing to butt heads over. This time, the stirring argument centers on whether Optimus Prime or Captain America was more inspirational. A fair share of folks express a mad passion for how Optimus Prime just got their blood boiling in the most intense of ways. One dude was ready to battle his TV after Optimus Prime said some words. That’s real.

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Supportive Tumblr Thread On Dealing With Invasive Thoughts

Assigning silly identities and voices to those various thought streams that might pop up as invasive, and with a dark tone around them, can be helpful in riding out the process back toward peace. If you’re able to step outside the thought when it pops up, recognize it as that, and not identify with the thought, it can almost end up being a game of sorts. Is the conspiracy theorist with the panicked strain piping up again from the back corridors of your mind? Maybe. 

Assigning silly identities and voices to those various thought streams that might pop up as invasive, and with a dark tone around them, can be helpful in riding out the process back toward peace. If you’re able to step outside the thought when it pops up, recognize it as that, and not identify with the thought, it can almost end up being a game of sorts. Is the conspiracy theorist with the panicked strain piping up again from the back corridors of your mind? Maybe. 

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Ryan Reynolds Responds To Tom Holland’s Handstand Video

Tom Holland attempted to kickstart a new video challenge, by tagging Ryan Reynolds and Jake Gyllenhaal in a video of him trying to put his shirt on, while doing a handstand. Jake Gyllenhaal played along, but Ryan Reynolds seized the opportunity to sassily reject the challenge. Typical spicy behavior from Ryan Reynolds. Love it.

Ryan Reynolds isn’t always opposed to viral video challenges. He did participate in that recent video challenge alongside, Seth Rogen

Tom Holland attempted to kickstart a new video challenge, by tagging Ryan Reynolds and Jake Gyllenhaal in a video of him trying to put his shirt on, while doing a handstand. Jake Gyllenhaal played along, but Ryan Reynolds seized the opportunity to sassily reject the challenge. Typical spicy behavior from Ryan Reynolds. Love it.

Ryan Reynolds isn’t always opposed to viral video challenges. He did participate in that recent video challenge alongside, Seth Rogen

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15 Total Wackos Who Should Not Be Allowed Near Social Media

We always hear about the insane-o anti-vaxxers, flat-earthers and other crazies all over the internet, but it’s not as commonplace to come across one in the wild. Well, these 15 posts will prove to you that these people actually do exist, and their stupidity is astounding. Check out /r/InsanePeopleFacebook for even more crazies!

We always hear about the insane-o anti-vaxxers, flat-earthers and other crazies all over the internet, but it’s not as commonplace to come across one in the wild. Well, these 15 posts will prove to you that these people actually do exist, and their stupidity is astounding. Check out /r/InsanePeopleFacebook for even more crazies!

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Woman Purchases Freshwater Shrimp, Spontaneous Love Ensues

@TheBugChicks shared a story about her experience with a couple chill, adventuresome freshwater shrimp named, Marty and Sal. In a moment of panic this woman experienced the stirring experience of love for a couple freshwater shrimp, that she didn’t anticipate feeling, in the first place. It sounds like Marty and Sal are well on their way to getting set up with a stellar new crib. Right on. 

@TheBugChicks shared a story about her experience with a couple chill, adventuresome freshwater shrimp named, Marty and Sal. In a moment of panic this woman experienced the stirring experience of love for a couple freshwater shrimp, that she didn’t anticipate feeling, in the first place. It sounds like Marty and Sal are well on their way to getting set up with a stellar new crib. Right on. 

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Dad Orders Box Of Crickets, Wrongly Assumes They’re Sealed Off

This story about a dad who ordered a box of crickets for the family’s pet lizard, never gets old. Apparently, dad assumed that the crickets arrived in a box, sealed off, and not susceptible to breaking free to get absolutely everywhere. Dad was very wrong. His assumption resulted in just the kind of chaos that folks can get a kick out of. I mean, at least the cats experienced a dreamy day of wonderful play. 

This story about a dad who ordered a box of crickets for the family’s pet lizard, never gets old. Apparently, dad assumed that the crickets arrived in a box, sealed off, and not susceptible to breaking free to get absolutely everywhere. Dad was very wrong. His assumption resulted in just the kind of chaos that folks can get a kick out of. I mean, at least the cats experienced a dreamy day of wonderful play. 

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Man Orders Boxes From Amazon, Fails Repeatedly Ensue

This guy’s experience trying to have some empty boxes delivered ended up being a process of navigating multiple fails. Apparently, something was happening with the ordering/delivery process, where he ultimately ended up getting a ton of granola and Harry Potter coasters that he’d never asked for. Maybe not all robots are meant to rule the world. 

This guy’s experience trying to have some empty boxes delivered ended up being a process of navigating multiple fails. Apparently, something was happening with the ordering/delivery process, where he ultimately ended up getting a ton of granola and Harry Potter coasters that he’d never asked for. Maybe not all robots are meant to rule the world. 

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Choosing Beggars With Pockets Full Of Entitlement

These choosing beggars just keep it coming. Sometimes they end up getting what’s coming to them. Anyways, as long as there’s a price attached to something, there will be a choosing beggar around ready to complicate the process of smooth negotiations. The cost of trying to navigate selling something to a choosing beggar who entered the conversation with delusional expectations, ultimately ends up being a cost of someone’s time (and maybe sanity). We’re not sure when choosing beggars decide to wake up and be reasonable, but until then, these moments certainly showcase how absurd people can be when money is involved. 

These choosing beggars just keep it coming. Sometimes they end up getting what’s coming to them. Anyways, as long as there’s a price attached to something, there will be a choosing beggar around ready to complicate the process of smooth negotiations. The cost of trying to navigate selling something to a choosing beggar who entered the conversation with delusional expectations, ultimately ends up being a cost of someone’s time (and maybe sanity). We’re not sure when choosing beggars decide to wake up and be reasonable, but until then, these moments certainly showcase how absurd people can be when money is involved. 

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Entitled Individuals With Depleted Common Sense

As long as there’s a price attached to something, there will be a choosing beggar around ready to complicate the process of smooth negotiations. The cost of trying to navigate selling something to a choosing beggar who entered the conversation with delusional expectations, ultimately ends up being a cost of someone’s time (and maybe sanity). We’re not sure when choosing beggars decide to wake up and be reasonable, but until then, these moments certainly showcase how absurd people can be when money is involved. 

As long as there’s a price attached to something, there will be a choosing beggar around ready to complicate the process of smooth negotiations. The cost of trying to navigate selling something to a choosing beggar who entered the conversation with delusional expectations, ultimately ends up being a cost of someone’s time (and maybe sanity). We’re not sure when choosing beggars decide to wake up and be reasonable, but until then, these moments certainly showcase how absurd people can be when money is involved. 

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29 ‘Yikes’ Moments Of Monumental Cringe

Some things are just cringey enough to make you say “oof” out loud and make a visibly pained facial expression. These posts are of no exception. In fact, many of these people should not be allowed on social media ever again. Maybe we should all have to take a test to be allowed on social media? Honestly, that seems reasonable at this point.

Some things are just cringey enough to make you say “oof” out loud and make a visibly pained facial expression. These posts are of no exception. In fact, many of these people should not be allowed on social media ever again. Maybe we should all have to take a test to be allowed on social media? Honestly, that seems reasonable at this point.

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Entitled Woman Begs For Cash App Handouts

This woman was taking to social media to issue a stream of entitled pleas, asking people to send her money on the Cash App. Eventually, another person had enough, and decided to call her out on all the nonsense. Sometimes, entitled individuals just need someone else to offer up the reality check moment. Maybe this reality check took effect. 

This woman was taking to social media to issue a stream of entitled pleas, asking people to send her money on the Cash App. Eventually, another person had enough, and decided to call her out on all the nonsense. Sometimes, entitled individuals just need someone else to offer up the reality check moment. Maybe this reality check took effect. 

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An Author’s Imaginative Thread On Doritos’ Supernatural Origins

Author, Chuck Wendig’s, wild and imaginative Twitter thread about the spooky origins of Doritos, and how they “bake souls” into their chips is clearly a silly reference to the recent Twitter thread about the electric origins of Triscuits. That being said, this is just the kind of absurd rabbit hole that is clearly a ton of nonsense, that we enjoy.

Author, Chuck Wendig’s, wild and imaginative Twitter thread about the spooky origins of Doritos, and how they “bake souls” into their chips is clearly a silly reference to the recent Twitter thread about the electric origins of Triscuits. That being said, this is just the kind of absurd rabbit hole that is clearly a ton of nonsense, that we enjoy.

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Tinder Triumphs And Failures Of Epic Proportions

Tinder is an bottomless pit of hopeless romantics and cheesy pickup line peddlers all playing around with one another, and on occasion, taking it seriously. You’re just as apt to find yourself in the middle of an absolutely absurd conversation, as you are in one with someone who seems like they could actually be a meaningful connection. These triumphs and failures didn’t fail to keep us entertained in the slightest. 

Tinder is an bottomless pit of hopeless romantics and cheesy pickup line peddlers all playing around with one another, and on occasion, taking it seriously. You’re just as apt to find yourself in the middle of an absolutely absurd conversation, as you are in one with someone who seems like they could actually be a meaningful connection. These triumphs and failures didn’t fail to keep us entertained in the slightest. 

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Twitter Users Share When They Knew They Had Cabin Fever

People on Twitter are sharing when they knew the cabin fever was a real thing. Sometimes, you get so caught up in enjoying your own company that you forget you haven’t left your home, for a very long time. These folks absolutely experienced the cabin fever life. 

People on Twitter are sharing when they knew the cabin fever was a real thing. Sometimes, you get so caught up in enjoying your own company that you forget you haven’t left your home, for a very long time. These folks absolutely experienced the cabin fever life. 

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