How To Stay Connected To Others During Social Distancing

Spend the months and years leading up to quarantine being a caring and genuinely interesting enough person that spending a few months apart doesn’t make everyone forget that you exist. 

Read more…

Spend the months and years leading up to quarantine being a caring and genuinely interesting enough person that spending a few months apart doesn’t make everyone forget that you exist. 

Read more…

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It Ain’t Rocket Science People

Funny meme from the TV show 'Friends' about why it's important to continue social distancing

Stop ruining it for the rest of us, DAMN.

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Funny Times June 2020 Issue

Cartoons about Covid-19 . Sports . Quarantine . Father’s Day . Pirates . Farm & Garden . Hobbies . Robots . Art . Literature and more! Buy This Issue With cartoons by: Clay Bennett, Bizarro, Harry Bliss, Ruben Bolling, Matt Bors, Robert Brunelle, Martin Bucella, Jon Carter, Todd Condron, Dave Coverly, J.C. Duffy, Buddy Hickerson, Jeff Hobbs, David Horsey, John Jonik, …[ Read More ]

Cartoons about Covid-19 . Sports . Quarantine . Father’s Day . Pirates . Farm & Garden . Hobbies . Robots . Art . Literature and more!

Buy This Issue

With cartoons by: Clay Bennett, Bizarro, Harry Bliss, Ruben Bolling, Matt Bors, Robert Brunelle, Martin Bucella, Jon Carter, Todd Condron, Dave Coverly, J.C. Duffy, Buddy Hickerson, Jeff Hobbs, David Horsey, John Jonik, Ham Khan, L.J. Kopf, Mary Lawton, Carol Lay, Scott Masear, Brian McFadden, Steve McGinn, Chris Monroe, P.S. Mueller, A. Owsley, Mark Parisi, Joel Pett, Rina Piccolo, K.A. Polzin, Hilary Price, Ted Rall, Graham Sale, Harley Schwadron, Maria Scrivan, Andy Singer, Jen Sorensen, Ward Sutton, Tom Toles, Tom Tomorrow,  Matt Wuerker, Zippy, Adam Zyglis . . .  and lots more!

How I Spent My Pandemic Vacation
By Raymond Lesser

FUQ: Frequently Unasked Questions
By Swami Beyondananda

Today In Sports — Coronavirus Edition
By Tim Jones

Quentin Quarantine: The Movie Version Of My Life During The Pandemic
By Gretchen Volk

Ken Reffet, Stunt Fisherman
By K.A. Polzin

Losing To My Two-Year-Old
By Andrew Knott

The Borowitz Report — Special Coverage: Covid-19
By Andy Borowitz

The Key To Gardening
By Joanie Mickle

Workers Of The World, Unite!
By Steven Stampone

16 Reasons Why Vincent Van Gogh Was Never Called Vince
By J.C.Duffy

The Suspicious Banana Leaf T-Shirt
By Jackie Allison

The Funny Times Haiku Challenge
By You And You And YOU!

Planet Proctor
By Phil Proctor

PLUS:

Cartoons about On The Farm
Curmudgeon on Literature
Cartoons about Hobbies
Dave Maleckar’s 100 Word Rant
News Of The Weird
Harper’s Index
News & Political Cartoons

 

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Guy Witnesses Full-On Karen Panic At Olive Garden On Mother’s Day

Unfortunately for service industry employees everywhere, Karens have decided not to take any days off during the pandemic. In fact, it seems that they’ve even ramped up their antics, according to this amusing Twitter thread written by a guy observing the sheer panic taking place at an Olive Garden in Cranberry, Pennsylvania on Mother’s Day. Who knew soup, salad, and breadsticks warranted screaming at minimum-wage restaurant employees!

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Text - Kevin Horne @KevinHornePSU I am about to witness a full on riot at the Cranberry, Pennsylvania Olive Garden. Suburban Karens with husbands who are the CFOs of mid-size floor tile companies vs the staff, which is 90-120 minutes behind order time. Will report back.

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Land vehicle - Kevin Horne @KevinHornePSU · 10h There are approximately 200 cars in the parking lot of people exactly like this absolutely losing their minds. I am among them, but remaining calm, as there is no one to blame but ourselves for deciding on Olive Garden in the first place. 27 10 420

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Vehicle - Kevin Horne @KevinHornePSU · 9h The line of cars to get in extends out to the road but there are very few spots remaining in the entire lot. Other folks have decided to start tailgating while having unpleasant conversations with their families waiting at home. 27 3 129 Chow tlbi throod 3.

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Adaptation - Kevin Horne @KevinHornePSU · 9h Folks are now just blatantly disregarding the signs and jumping the person who comes out with the food every 5 or so minutes like it's first come first serve, even though the order is tied to a name. Olive LOlve Coren vaplmb. CRUZAN FOR EVERYONES SAFETY PLEASE STAY IN YoUr CAR E We WILL BE OUT To GREET You 6. 27 10 165

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Selfie - Kevin Horne @KevinHornePSU · 9h Word just got passed around that they ran out of salad. live Garden TALIAN ITEHER 27 10 173

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Text - Kevin Horne @KevinHornePSU · 9h Fear levels are high that only the 4 p.m. pickup time orders, who have largely not been served, will have breadsticks. Cancelations occurring en masse. I am 5 p.m. but holding out hope. Kru 27 4 129

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Motor vehicle - Kevin Horne @KevinHornePSU · 9h The person who is directing traffic has been identified as the manager or owner. He is the one who has been throwing out the "only a 30 minute delay" line to folks since 4 p.m. and is now paying the price. 27 3 124

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Land vehicle - Kevin Horne @KevinHornePSU · 9h The workers have returned with salad from Giant Eagle. "I love my life," this kind spirited employee exclaimed. %3D 8. 27 5 303

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Property - Kevin Horne @KevinHornePSU · 9h I have now been called inside –I am the first person l've seen get invited in that hasn't complained. Seemed promising, but 3 different employees have now asked for my name. It's not clear if they actually have the order, despite being checked in 80 minutes age. Olive Canden 27 2 ♡ 125

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Text - Kevin Horne @KevinHornePSU · 8h UPDATE: "Food" secured. I'm afraid the no breadsticks rumor was true, and a number of the entrees appear to be missing. They did cobble together a salad with Giant Eagle ingredients procured from the back of an employees car. They offered a $10 gift card for the trouble. Olive Canden ITALIAN KITCHEN ORDER O ogte 174 4.

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Text - Mary Kate @MmmkayDo Replying to @KevinHornePSU As someone that's worked in restaurants for going on years, there were prob 3 people cooking the food. Restaurants, like other businesses, run with as little 10 people as possible to make as much $$ as they can. AND there's a pandemic on & it's Mother's Day. Understanding is

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Text - Daniel Schall @dsschall Replying to @KevinHornePSU I read each tweet of this thread with the same anticipation that I await each new episode of "Last Dance." "Cobble together," "procured," "mid-size floor tile company"-well played. Thanks for the entertainment. I'd give you breadsticks if could.

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Risk Vs Reward

Not sure if you have been playing board games or card games during the quarantine. The worst part of learning a new game is having 4 people loudly yell the rules at you at the same time. And they never give the rules in the right order. “EVERYONE GETS 5 CARDS! DON’T EAT THE POTATO […]

Not sure if you have been playing board games or card games during the quarantine. The worst part of learning a new game is having 4 people loudly yell the rules at you at the same time. And they never give the rules in the right order. “EVERYONE GETS 5 CARDS! DON’T EAT THE POTATO IF YOU CATCH IT! THE GOAL IS TO GET RID OF YOUR CARDS! IN THE FIRST ROUND DON’T GET RID OF YOUR CARDS!” Ah, the joy of learning.

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Bird Brain

Do you ever have conversations with yourself that escalate in self-sabotage right after your alarm goes off? Like, “Just snooze for 9 more minutes.” Then, “Just sleep for 30 more mins, you can be late to work.” Then, “Just skip work.” Then, “Just quit your job.” PLEASE DISABLE YOUR ADBLOCKER OR WHITELIST US! THANKS!

Do you ever have conversations with yourself that escalate in self-sabotage right after your alarm goes off?

Like, “Just snooze for 9 more minutes.”

Then, “Just sleep for 30 more mins, you can be late to work.”

Then, “Just skip work.”

Then, “Just quit your job.”

PLEASE DISABLE YOUR ADBLOCKER OR WHITELIST US! THANKS!

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Two Dudes Show How To Pass Your Friend A Beer While Social Distancing

This is extremely relevant right now.

Submitted by: (via Burner Account)

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Quality Memes & Tweets To Get Your Friday Going

TGIF, y’all! With many of us cooped up in our houses, celebrating the final day of the slavish workweek involves a whole lot less going and and a whole lot more screen time. These memes are one great way for you to take a load off post-9-5 torture. Sure, there are streaming services. But they cost money. And you’ve probably seen everything from Tiger King to that Michael Jordan docuseries.

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Brands Are Changing Their Logos To Reflect Social Distancing Measures

In light of recent events, brands have started recreating their logos to reflect social distancing efforts. While it’s most likely just a ploy to lure in more customers, we hope it’ll actually influence people to continue staying at home in order to curb the spread of coronavirus. And can we just say that we do feel a little bad for Corona (beer) right now?

In light of recent events, brands have started recreating their logos to reflect social distancing efforts. While it’s most likely just a ploy to lure in more customers, we hope it’ll actually influence people to continue staying at home in order to curb the spread of coronavirus. And can we just say that we do feel a little bad for Corona (beer) right now?

Source Pheromones

We’re Unglued

Lots of dudes needed haircuts before the quarantine, and we’re worried there will be LOTS of man-buns after this. We need to address this issue before it gets out of hand. AND PLEASE WHITELIST US ON YOUR ADBLOCKER (sorry for making it all-caps, but it’d be amazing if you helped us by doing it). No […]

Lots of dudes needed haircuts before the quarantine, and we’re worried there will be LOTS of man-buns after this. We need to address this issue before it gets out of hand. AND PLEASE WHITELIST US ON YOUR ADBLOCKER (sorry for making it all-caps, but it’d be amazing if you helped us by doing it). No man-buns!

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Current Tweets That Just Hit Right

Wanna stay up to date on jokes about the Coronavirus outbreak and general Twitter tomfoolery? We’ve got you covered. These tweets offer plenty of humor, wise words, and dumb jokes that at the very least, will help you obliterate your boredom. And if you need more, here’s another fresh Twitter list. Everyone needs ways to pass the time these days. And we’re here to help.

Wanna stay up to date on jokes about the Coronavirus outbreak and general Twitter tomfoolery? We’ve got you covered. These tweets offer plenty of humor, wise words, and dumb jokes that at the very least, will help you obliterate your boredom. And if you need more, here’s another fresh Twitter list. Everyone needs ways to pass the time these days. And we’re here to help.

Source Pheromones

Memes That Roast All The People Hoarding Toilet Paper

There are many people we can roast for their behavior as people deal with the Coronavirus outbreak. There are the fumbling politicians and Corona Katie. People who are rude to their local grocers.And then there are the daft people who decided that hoarding toilet hoarding toilet paper paper will help them during a pandemic. While dank memesprobably won’t help these poor idiots realize the errors of their ways, the meme-ing community has been going in on TP hoarders. And we’re enjoying it more than we should. 

There are many people we can roast for their behavior as people deal with the Coronavirus outbreak. There are the fumbling politicians and Corona Katie. People who are rude to their local grocers.And then there are the daft people who decided that hoarding toilet hoarding toilet paper paper will help them during a pandemic. While dank memesprobably won’t help these poor idiots realize the errors of their ways, the meme-ing community has been going in on TP hoarders. And we’re enjoying it more than we should. 

Source Pheromones