Fifteen Times Sarcastic Humor Flew Right Over People’s Heads

If you’re ever feeling bad about yourself, just take a stroll through the following posts from people who missed very obvious jokes. We’re pretty sure they’ll boost your self-confidence. Check out /r/woooosh for more cringe material!

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Text - Thave been thinking about this exchange all day. Every seafood restaurant in DC should have a special this week called Squid Pro Quo. t7 572 5.8K 72 Follow Replying to @JenKirkman Actually, the expression is "QUID pro quo," - not “SQUID." It's Latin. 11:13 AM - 26 Sep 2019 5 Retweets 42 Likes t 5 258 42 4:25 PM 9/26/19 Twitter Web Client

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Face - when you realize the statue of mona lisa looks like keith urban Like Page November 2 at 12:11pm- Facebook Mentions e but. Like Comment Share That's not Keith urban tho.. Imao Like Reply · 1 hr It's not the statue if Mona Lisa either. Like · Reply 1 hr Write a reply. The Mona Lisa isn't a statue either Like · Reply O1-38 mins

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People - 4G 11:49 Wear Nerd Approved NA 5 hrs They even have the same haircuts. Remember Eleven & Mike? Here they are now. Feel old yet? 489 36 Comments • 144 Shares O Like Comment A Share No no. mat's Bruce Willis as a boxer in pulp fiction on the right. Not the same movie. Lame. Write a comment...

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Text - Replies Darth Vader • 2 months ago (edited) I like this "Anakin" character... kinda wonder what happens to him 987 目63 Add a public reply... • 2 months ago Darth Vader i think he becomes a pod racer 89 2 months ago are you dumb anakin is darth vader they r the same u noob

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Text - Reacties - 1 week geleden the blonde white girl was my favourite. 648 目34 Voeg een openbare reactie toe... 5 dagen geleden They all are blonde white girls... 24

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Text - 22 minutes and 22 seconds In 2012, German freediver Tom Sietas held his breath underwater for 22 minutes and 22 seconds, besting Dane Stig Severinsen's previous Guinness record by 22 seconds. (Although Guinness still lists Severinsen as the record holder, stating he hyperventilated with oxygen before his attempt for 19 minutes and 30 seconds.) May 9, 2013 The guy who filmed "Finding Nemo" 国 Are you challenging me? [-115 points · 1 hour ago It was 3D animation you dumb fuck

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Grassland - My underground survival base, let me know what you think :) Builds Gaming Wait why is it just grass, I don't see anything underground? Reply 1 -1 ...

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Text - 14:36 4 hrs • I am trying to learn what LGBTQ+ stands for... Unfortunately nobody can give me a straight answer! You and 46 others 19 comments • 2 shares Haha Comment Share I sent you a message on LGBT detail LGETICGP Write a comment...

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Cartoon - same person?? AVATAR SPIR IT NES Reunny.ce Azula 2 Woche(n) Uhh. If u all watched the episode, Aang is in disguise of an old cranky grandpa. So yeah. They are the same person Antworten ... Lnade with mematic

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Text - TEM stem357 • Volgen J WON'T SEE STUDY FINDS PARENTS CAN DO 3 OF THEIR KIDS' MATHS, BUT es STRUGGLE WITH THE OTHER 34 naem eebine 8 and % nice job dude. You are one of them 2d 212 vind-ik-leuks Beantwoorden

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Product - Can someone explain to me how they got all the ice through the small hole Imagine being this stupid 19,419 likes This is the stupidest thing ive seen more

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Product - The manager at our local IKEA is retiring, so I sent him this cake.. wheres the cake

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Text - Awise Arablc poet once sald: بقی يمن دس لمتن دق 1.4K 238 comments • 1.1K shares Libke לן Comment Share speak arabic and that's just gibberish lol

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Photo caption - it's always sad when you see someone eating alone bluecheekinha kg There's two of them.Are you blind?? APPY NEW YEA 2020

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Extreme sport - 47 mins • O Not possible obviously idiot forgot his parachute he died because the May 15 at 9:22 p.m. • O BREAKING NEWS LIVE SKYDIVER WHO FORGOT PARACHUTE CAN DIES OF CORONA VIRUS Like לח O Comment Share

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Fifteen Masterful Comebacks That Deserve Our Praise

Comebacks are really their own art form. It takes a lot of quick wit and creativity to think of the perfect way to roast someone, after all. So scroll down for some clever roasts and insults, and then click here for more!

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Text - Donald J. Trump O @realDonaldTrump Schools in our country should be opened ASAP. Much very good information now available. @SteveHiltonx @FoxNews O 124K 2:41 AM - May 25, 2020 58.8K people are talking about this Bill Murray @BillyMurray "Much very good information" is ironically the strongest argument one can have to justify opening schools 9:46 AM - May 26, 2020

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Text - They think your haircuts are un-American Well, it was very observant of them because we aren't American, actually

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Text - •5mo There should only be two bathroom types.One specifically for me, and another for everyone else. Reply 1.3k . 5mo 1 Award There is. It's called a diaper. 1.0k

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Statue - Before being burned alive by the Spaniards, chief Hatuey of the island of Hispanola was asked if he wanted to accept Christianity and go to Heaven. Hatuey asked if Spaniards go to Heaven, to which the priest that they do. Hatuey then stated that he'd rather go to Hell where he wouldn't see such cruel people.

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Text - 00000 Virgin ? 13:30 @ 10 60% ( Back More 24 Apr 2014 12:41 Did you fall from heaven...? Because, have sex with me? 24 Apr 2014 13:18 Sorry didn't suffer a head injury during the fall

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Text - Millennials aren't buying diamonds - why? RETWEETS LIKES 173 309 MistyKnights TwistOut @Steph_I Will * Follow Too busy filling out job applications that ask them to attach their resume and then enter what's on that same resume on the next page.

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Text - Biothickness • 3h I think that's called "desperate," not "bisexual." 1 -58 PerAsperaAdlnfiri • 56m See, bisexuality is that I would have sex with men or women. Desperation would be if I had sex with you 1 13

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Text - Chicken pox at 8yrs & shingles around 38yrs I'm still living. No need to vaccinate 180 14h Like Reply View previous replies... One of my mates got hit by a car, he lived. I guess we don't need any of those road safety laws Like Reply O 164 14h

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Text - Isaac Haxton @ikepoker Woman in front of me at airport security has a bottle of frozen water. They want to take it. She says it's not a liquid. No, no... She's got a point.

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Text - 1h I'm proud to be an American because at least I know I'm free Reply - 17m · My pepe is slightly below average. Europeans: Guess I'm enslaved then Vote 3m One sec I'm going to go check if the moon has any other flags on it + Vote 7m My pepe is slightly below average. Call me when your moon flag pays your hospital bills.

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Text - I remember getting a phone call at work, a relative told me my dad died. It was unexpected, he was only 49. I was in my early 20's at the time. I started to tear up, one of the "boomers" on my shift told someone else to take me out back so I could "Man-Up" and compose myself so I could finish out my shift. Reply 5.9k ... Vergenbuurg • 4h 3 7 Awards My father was extremely close with his paternal grandmother... she had raised him at a very trying time in his childhood. She died when he was

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Clothing - BIG DADDY Obigdaddyvinz If being cute is a crime, I Deserve to Be ARRESTED AND JAILED FOR 100 YEARS Kushal Krd K.R.D, 100 years ? for a crime you didn't commit ?

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Text - Kristen Bartlett @kristencheeks Meghan, we live in the same building, and I just walked outside. It's fine. Meghan McCain O @MeghanMcCain Jun 2 My neighborhood in Manhattan is eviscerated and looks like a war zone. DeBlasio and Cuomo are an utter disgrace. This is not America. Our leaders have abandoned us and continue to let great American cities burn to the ground and be destroyed. I never could have fathomed this

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Brown Kitten Takes Internet By Storm

Think about it… have you ever seen a cat with an all brown coat? Neither have we! 

Meet Bojay! The completely brown kitten (fur and eyes) that Redditors are now obsessed with and we’re in the exact same boat! 

Bojay is currently 5 months old and is a British Shorthair, and according to his owner u/falk5713, his personality is just as pretty as he is! 

Aww! As if we couldn’t obsess more than we currently are. 

Get ready to fall madly in love with little Bojay and his 

Think about it… have you ever seen a cat with an all brown coat? Neither have we! 

Meet Bojay! The completely brown kitten (fur and eyes) that Redditors are now obsessed with and we’re in the exact same boat! 

Bojay is currently 5 months old and is a British Shorthair, and according to his owner u/falk5713, his personality is just as pretty as he is! 

Aww! As if we couldn’t obsess more than we currently are. 

Get ready to fall madly in love with little Bojay and his 

1. The pic that started it all! "Our beautiful cinnamon roll"

Cat - KING 6849 cm- 26 x19. Ose

2. "name is BoJay"

Cat - ON M ClBATONS STED

3. "You asked for another pic, here he is"

Cat

4. "Bojay the Spiderkitty, Monday morning exercise"

Cage

5. "Bojay and his guardians"

Cat

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Text - Aboxofphotons 5 days ago 3 Is this cat made from gingerbread? 1 4.5k Share . 80burritospersecond 5 days ago Spice cake cat. 1 1.6k Share

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Text - zeeblefritz 5 days ago Is that a rare color for a cat? I have never seen a cat like this. 132 Share GumpInAWheelieBin 5 days ago Well, I mean, you've kinda answered your own question there. 61 Share ...

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Text - retrored5 5 days ago Is that the 31 year old cat? 1 4 Share .. falk5713 5 days ago Lol no, hes 5 months old :) 15 Share .. retrored5 5 days ago Cause I saw a pic on here of a 31 year old cat and they're identical 1 5 Share falk5713 5 days ago Lets hope he will get there someday too :p 16 Share ...

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Text - dontniceguyatme 5 days ago I don't think ive seen a brown cat! 2.7k Share .. Adventureehbud 5 days ago Me either! I didn't realize cats came in that colour! 1.0k Share ... JustARegularToaster 5 days ago Yeah, they were a special edition or something i think 997 Share ...

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Text - Chopsdixs 5 days ago Kinder is out of control. A kid could have swallowed that accidentally 1.5k Reply Give Award Share Report Save

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Greek God Memes Are Reddit’s Latest Dank Obsession

It seems like the trends on /r/DankMemes just kind of spawn out of nowhere and honestly we’ll never totally understand it. The latest craze is Greek gods, so here are 15 of ’em that we found particularly strange and amusing.

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Cartoon - Hades: I rule the realm of the dead Poseidon: I rule the sea Zeus: I WILL HUMP THIS ROCK I WILL HUMP THIS TREE

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Comics - Greek gods: Aztec gods:

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Hair - Zeus: basically CEO of all gods Hades: Guardian of the Underworld Aphrodite:

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Product - Zeus: basically CEO of all gods Hades: Guardian of the Underworld Hermes: Hermes EHermes

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Text - Zeus: Basically CEO of all gods Hades: Guardian of the underworld Hercules: BREAKING NEWS MAN LITERALLY TOO ANGRY TO DIE

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Bin bag - Zeus: Literally the CEO of all Gods Hades: Guards the underworld These Memes: nmade with mematic

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Water - Zeus:CEO of gods. Hades:God of hell. Dionysus:

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Cartoon - Thing: *can give birth* Zeus:

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Text - Zeus: Basically CEO of all Gods Hades: God of the underworld Hermes:

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Text - Zeus: Basically the CEO of all gods. Hades: Guardian of the underworld. Poseidon:

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Text - This subreddit getting filled with Greek god memes over night. Me who read all the Percy Jackson books: I was made for this

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Face - Zeus: basically CEO of gods Hades: Guardian of the Underworld Poseidon:

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Helmet - Poseidon: God of Water Hades: God of the underworld Zeus: U/Kermit_the Sad_Frog

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Water - Zeus: CEO of gods Hades: Guardian of the Underworld Dionysus:

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Text - Zeus: CEO of the gods Hades: god of the underworld Poseidon: god of the oceans Ares:

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Seventeen Dank Memes For Ladies And Femmes Alike

We know that all women are different, but there are certain things that most of us understand universally. So whether you’re a woman or femme person, we think you’ll relate to the following memes we curated just for you. And check out some more feminine memes here if you’re so inclined!

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Cartoon - Female Ruler : *Enjoys having Sex* Historians: slut! made with mematic

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Facial expression - Me having Man ranting seen all the sexist memes about never getting the girl he posts

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Music artist - mein a discussion about a topic I'm knowledgeable in that one guy" mansplaining imgflip.com

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Cartoon - men woman doing literally anything Is this to get 中央 my attention

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Text - When you are a feminist and somebody tries to insult you by telling you "with these ideas no man will ever want to marry you" YOU HAVE NO POWER HERE

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Cartoon - you can't go now... it's only midnight okay, let's get one thing straight, I can do whatever the fuck I want

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Cartoon - When the guy you're dating makes a misogynistic joke and expects you to laugh.

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Games - Terrible male writers. Don't write about womens breasts. OR draw 25 UNO

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Recreation - NICE GUYSTM WHO WANT WOMEN TO KNOW HOW NICE THEY ARE AND CONSTANTLY COMPLAIN WOMEN NEVER GO WOMEN FOR THE NICE GUYS LIKE THEM boredpanda.com

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Text - Kyle Y @KylePlantEmoji Woman: I also enjoy the activity you mentioned Man: I will now force you to prove this to me with some trivia questions

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Movie - When you buy 2 bottles of cranberry juic UTL ME FOR

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Text - As a woman, I just want the same rights as a rattlesnake RATTLESNAKES MAY BE FOUND IN THIS AREA GIVE THEM DISTANCE AND RESPECT bn dpanda.com

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Human - Woman: *isn't pregnant* Her body: Then pay with your bloodi

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Hair - me all the time vs. me once in a while

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Cartoon - Me excited to wear my new trousers My period

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Cat - Guy: I like natural girls, that fake look is so gross. *sees a girl with unshaven legs* Guy:

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Text - Jenna Peterson @SmallJenna I hate this whole "women can be sexy at fifty!" narrative. At what age will society stop demanding I try to be hot and just let me turn into an old swamp witch, as nature intended? 7:32 AM Feb 27, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone

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Entitled Student Steals Designs, Gets Humiliated

This entitled and lazy student’s antics finally caught up with her. The revenge as it unfolded, could not have gone any better. Through a little coordination the classmate of “lazy student” and the teacher were able to set up a presentation, where lazy student was exposed for stealing multiple companies’ work. She gets a proper calling out in front of everyone, and hopefully absorbed the reality check for what it was. Do your own work! 

This entitled and lazy student’s antics finally caught up with her. The revenge as it unfolded, could not have gone any better. Through a little coordination the classmate of “lazy student” and the teacher were able to set up a presentation, where lazy student was exposed for stealing multiple companies’ work. She gets a proper calling out in front of everyone, and hopefully absorbed the reality check for what it was. Do your own work! 

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Text - r/ProRevenge u/sgy0003 · 22h + Join 2 1 W 2 3 3 1 Steal my design and get all the credits? Enjoy getting kicked off So my friend over in Korea studies fashion design. She sometimes sends me over the sketches of the designs, and they all look amazing. (Then again, l'm not into fashion.) She is particularly interested in designing handbags and purses. She told me a story about how she shut down one of the most entitled, self-centered, lazy students on campus. Cast: Grace: Our main character

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Text - Professor: The instructor of the course Story: At first, Grace and Jane got along just fine. They were both interested in similar stuff, and quickly became bffs. Grace decided to show Jane her sketches and designs for handbags and purses, and Jane was so impressed by it. Because the sketches were in incredible detail, including all the patterns and sew lines, coupled with figurative measurements. Even Professor was impressed by it, and it was no surprise that Grace got a high mark on thei

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Text - turned out to be one of the most entitled, lazy, and selfish people that Grace has ever met. Things that JAne did to piss Grace off included, but not limited to: • Not paying attention Being late on their study session Never showed appreciation Didn't pay for coffee or snack Complaining annoyingly about how hard it was to draw something Grace pretty much gave up on her after a week, refusing to meet Jane outside of her class. Time went by and for their mid-term, everyone in the class had

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Text - stolen one of her designs. Thankfully Grace had multiple designs going on so there were no conflicts when it was her turn to present, but she was seething with rage. Grace had a meeting with the professor afterwards, and the professor knew what was going on, but couldn't really do anything with Jane because it turns out she was the daughter of the chairman (or one of the major investors, Grace said she can't recall). The chairman apparently blackmailed the professor into giving Jane the b

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Text - So you know how Grace had a bunch of sketches for the class? Well, Grace also had a separate sketchbook that had designs from major brands. MK, Coach, you name it. She never used these directly for class assignments, but rather as inspirations for her designs. Grace pretended to be all friendly with Jane again, and brought the other sketchbook on their meetings, still putting up with all the problems mentioned above. Grace secretly worked tirelessly on her new design, and did her best to

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Text - praise from the judges. After a few more presentations, the last one to go was Jane. Jane's presentation turned out to be another copycat, copying designs of not one, not two, but three different companies. After the presentation, this was how it went all down (at least according to Grace): Judge 1: So you are saying you designed all these by yourself, right? Jane: That's right Judge 1: And you swear that it really was your design, and didn't copy off from anything else, right?

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Text - Jane: I swear Judge 1: ..You are aware your designs are from (three brands)? .... Jane: huh? Judge 1: Are you aware that these are on market right now, and some of the most popular designs? Jane: Wait, hold on-

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Text - Judge 2: Yeah, I was going to bring this up. If you had worked for any brands, you would have probably been fired or worse case, sued Jane: But- Judge 2: Please, I am not done yet; Did you honestly think this would work? We (the judges) have been in the industry for over 10 years. We know a copycat when we see it. Jane: But these aren't even my designs! They are from Grace! Judge 3: (To Grace) is this true?

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Text - Grace: Yes, but l'd never use them for major projects nor call them my work; I just use sketches of them as inspirations for my own designs Judge 3: Well, that was clear from your presentation (Turning back to Jane) Now, Ms. Jane, this is a clear case of plagiarism, and I do hope your school is merciful on this matter. After the presentation was over, the chairman screamed at the professor in front of everyone, not realizing he just revealed all the blackmailing and the secret grade deal.

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25 ‘Unfun Facts’ For People Who Want To Feel Unsettled

We’ve been seeing a lot of wholesome content lately. It makes sense. When the world feels bleak, most people need a little positivity to remind them that even the pain is temporary. This post is not for these people. Reddit user u/mc_gnome took to r/AskReddit requesting people share some ‘unfun facts’ on the thread. The responses weren’t just ‘unfun,’ they’re actually mind-blowingly morbid and depressing. But some people, like us, enjoy learning of the cruelty of nature. And these posts are for you.

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Text - 1 Award When your skin becomes red from spending too much time under the sunlight, it's basically because your skin cells are committing suicide to avoid becoming cancerous. EDIT: Source https://www.google.com/amp/s/ www.livescience.com/amp/38039-what-causes- sunburns.html the process is called apoptosis, and when cells whose DNA gets messed up by UV radiation doesn't commit suicide, that's when it starts growing out of control and thus becomes skin cancer. I'm no expert, but many medical

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Text - Wespiratory • 10h In 2014 the CDC once found a smallpox sample that they had lost and didn't even know it. It was just laying around in some random storeroom. https://www.npr.org/2014/07/08/329884145/in-a- lab-store-room-an-unsettling-surprise-lost-vials- of-smallpox Reply 16.0k •..

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Text - Fenius_Farsaid • 10h 1 Award Fatal familial insomnia exists. It's a rare, prionic brain disease that progressively destroys your brain's ability to sleep. Eventually you stop sleeping altogether, go insane, have seizures, and die. incurable Reply 14.1k ...

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Text - KatAnansi • 10h 2 Awards Brush tail possums are coprophagic (eat their own shit). They need their food to go through their digestive system twice to get all the nutrients. They're nocturnal, so spend the night eating eucalyptus and other plant leaves and flowers. During the day, they curl up into a little ball with their mouths close to their bums, and eat the soft poo as it comes out in. Then while they're out at night, they poo out hard, long pellets of poo, having absorbed all the nutr

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Text - Chocolate_Jesus_ • 10h Around 1.5 million people die from TB annually, which is a disease consistently treatable by antibiotics in almost all cases. Reply 4.3k heichwozhwbxorb • 6h In most places where TB is endemic, HIV is also endemic, and you see a lot of comorbidity with those two. Even if people can afford and access antibiotics, their immune systems are often too compromised to fight it off. 438 ...

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Text - ItsFiin3 • 11h Only one in every 1,000 sea turtles born ever make it to adulthood Reply 20.9k ... p-oonis- • 10h To add to this, saving baby turtles at the beach does less (almost nothing) for conservation compared to protecting adult turtles in the осean. 7.2k ...

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Text - EschatonDreadwyrm • 10h 2 Awards Suicide bombers are a lot easier to identify post- mortem than you'd expect. This is because the blast from the suicide belt hits the base of the head in such a way that the head pops off like a cork. Investigators therefore have a relatively intact head to ID. Reply 30.1k ...

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Text - TheDeputyDude • 9h 1 Award Depends on what you find as "fun" but King Henry VIII exploded in his coffin while the grave was being dug, the mess was cleared up by stray dogs. Reply 11.3k ...

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Text - nawjas69 • 11h a human tooth has 36 calories Reply 9.9k ...

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Text - ashisnotloading • 10h dead people can get goosebumps Reply 3.8k ...

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Text - guitar_chica13• 11h Male cats have spines on their penises that rake the walls of a females vagina to trigger ovulation and to hold the female in place while mating. Reply 6.6k KeeksiLooLoo • 10h I know for a fact the female cats were not consulted about this. 2 6k ...

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Text - Silverfox17421• 10h The youngest female to ever give birth was a Peruvian girl, Lina Medina, who gave birth to a child in 1939 at age 5. She had precocious puberty. The man who molested her was never found, and she was silent about how she got pregnant. She considered her son to be her little brother, and he was also told that this was the case. The case is well documented in medical journals, including photos of her pregnant body. It is also in the Guinness book. In the ensuing years, sh

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Text - 2 Awards The female tarantula hawk wasp stings a tarantula between the legs, paralyzes it, then drags the prey to a specially prepared burrow, where a single egg is laid on the spider's abdomen, and the entrance is covered. Sex of the larvae is determined by fertilization; fertilized eggs produce females, while unfertilized eggs produce males. When the wasp larva hatches, it creates a small hole in the spider's abdomen, then enters and feeds voraciously, avoiding vital organs for as long

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Text - gkibbe • 11h 4 Awards People who handle cockroaches develop allergies to them. This usually prevents them from drinking pre-ground coffee because of the cockroaches that get grounded in with the large batches. Reply 21.7k ...

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Text - adragonthatsgay • 9h 2 Awards Touching an AM radio broadcast tower will kill you, and not only will it kill you, but it will hurt the entire time you're dying. Number one, the voltage is so high that your hands would instantly clamp to whatever charged part of the tower you touched, then because it's oscillating at a frequency your cells can't feel you wouldn't be able to feel yourself being electrocuted until it starts to heat your body from the current, and you'd also be able to hear yo

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Text - Smoother1997 • 12h Sea otters kill and rape baby seals, not always in that order. Reply 12.6k •..

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Text - sbdtech • 9h 3 Awards Whales don't die of old age. Eventually they just don't have the strength to resurface and slowly drown. Reply 18.6k ...

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Text - robocommander • 11h When a male bee (drone) ejaculates, its testicles explode and the drone dies. It is literally a one shot wonder. Reply 13.9k ...

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Text - Behkeybeerkey • 11h There are only 2 states in the US that have outlawed child marriage. One of them only just put it into law a few weeks ago. 23 states don't even have an age limit on marriage. Reply 7.2k ben0216 • 9h It's three states: New Jersey, Delaware, and Pennsylvania, with Pennsylvania being the one to outlaw it a few weeks ago. We still have a long way to go, though.

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Text - PM_Me_Nudes_2_Review • 13h 1 Award That brain eating amoebas exist at all, and is also pretty commonly found in freshwater ponds and lakes. Apparently only 4 people have survived getting it in the last 50 years. Reply 29.3k ...

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Text - cocaineandcaviar • 9h The first first responder to die in 911 was killed by someone jumping out of the building and landing on them Reply 1.8k ...

22.

Text - Olli3popp • 11h Scuba Divers can experience a sudden change in pressure when swimming near pipes and will get sucked inside, doesn't matter the size of the hole. It's called Delta P, worst part? Someone else usually has to go inside the pipe to remove the body. Reply 19.7k

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Text - yo_gabba_gavin 12h 3 Awards There are at least 8 nuclear weapons known to be missing. edit: just woke up to this! Thank you for the awards! And thank you for wishing me a happy cake day! Reply 47.5k

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Text - nopekill • 11h 2 Awards Every unborn baby grows a moustache in the womb, which then spreads to cover the entire body. The baby then eats the entire hair called lanugo, and excretes it after birth with their first bowel movement, which is a substance called meconium Reply 9.1k

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Text - Omny87 • 12h 1 Award When preparing a body for an open casket, the mortician will sew the person's jaw shut (to keep their mouth from flopping open) and place special contact lenses on the eyes lined with hooks, both to keep the eyelid from snapping open due to shrinking tissues, and to give the eye a bit more natural bulge, as the eye tends to sink into the socket after death. Reply 33.8k ...

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Apprentice Engineer Angers Crew, Gets Ditched 250 Miles From Home

Oh man, the apprentice engineer’s gross level of entitlement was their ultimate undoing. If the young lad had just gone about doing business in a way that was mindful and respectful of those around him, well, then maybe he wouldn’t have been ditched the 250 miles from home. Just picturing the kid having to call up his dad to come and get him at 3 in the morning, for a 500-mile-round trip is pure entertainment. 

Oh man, the apprentice engineer’s gross level of entitlement was their ultimate undoing. If the young lad had just gone about doing business in a way that was mindful and respectful of those around him, well, then maybe he wouldn’t have been ditched the 250 miles from home. Just picturing the kid having to call up his dad to come and get him at 3 in the morning, for a 500-mile-round trip is pure entertainment. 

1.

Text - r/ProRevenge + Join u/GhostOfSorabji • 122d 1 3 2 Apprentice engineer pisses off the crew... gets left behind 250 miles from home Lordy! I was reminded of this story after a recent phone call from an old friend. Rather a long one, so sincere apologies in advance. It's part O r/ProRevenge, part O r/EntitledPeople. Some years age, I got a gig working a weekend music festival. Fairly simple too: ten bands per day and all pretty standard rock 'n' roll fare. Bossman puts four of us out on the

2.

Text - As it turned out this lad was about as much use as an aqualung to a trout, and had an entitled attitude the size of a mid-ranged African country. On the journey down in the truck, he was boasting as to how he was "a really good sound engineer" already and that "he could probably show us a few tricks." Oh, really? We get to the venue and get busy unloading the truck: we've got a 16-tonner stuffed to the gills with two sounds desks and about 16KW of sound gear for front- of-house and about

3.

Text - to safely unload it and get it stacked up in place– except that, after unloading the first amp rack (all on wheels but still around 80 kilos), the Entitled Brat snottily announces that "I'm a sound engineer, not a humper.", and promptly strolls off. Err..okaaay... Well, we don't really need him gumming up the works- we're all well used to slinging boxes around, so about an hour later we've got the rig stacked up and strapped down, run out the multicore to the FOH desk, and are ready to st

4.

Text - Out of nowhere, the Spotty Oik emerges from whatever hole he had buried himself in and asks what he can do. I say, "I'm going to plug up front-of-house, perhaps you could help Hammer cable up the speakers." "I don't take orders from girlies!" (Quick side note here: Hammer was 5' 9", drop-dead gorgeous and as hard as nails-hence her nickname. She was also a damn fine FOH engineer and a bloody good mate.)

5.

Text - Boris, Chris and I collectively groaned inwardly and winced in anticipation of a full 16" broadside from Hammer (seriously, folks-you do NOT fuck with her unless you want the family jewels dangling from the nearest tree!) Instead she smiles sweetly (NEVER a good sign) and says, "well I'm sure you'll learn something useful." | then go off to play with cables FOH, while Boris and Chris busy themselves with the monitors. A while later I'm back on stage: Spotty Oik has wandered off again. Ham

6.

Text - Turns out that, despite cables and connector ports being well labelled, The Oik had managed to make a complete pig's ear of plugging up the amp racks. Trust me, it's very hard to make this kind of mistake. I found The Oik some moments later and told him that it was not the proper way of doing things, and that if he wasn't sure what to do that he should always ask one of us beforehand. What then came out of his mouth absolutely floored me: "I don't need to know all that shit. I'm a sound e

7.

Text - Hammer, who was standing a few feet away, snorted derisively and rolled her eyes heavenwards. It took me a few seconds to process this particular nugget of stupid: "Well, you HAVE to know how all this works; it's part and parcel of the job and as you're here to learn, I suggest you pay attention." "Well, you're just a bunch of roadies; what do you know?" Upon delivering this charming bon mot, he ambles off (again) leaving me to retrieve my jaw from off the deck and Hammer barely able to r

8.

Text - An hour or so later, we're all set up, and we now have a fair idea of the acts that are going to be performing. In situations like this, you rarely get the opportunity of a full-blown soundcheck so you have to rely on experience to set the desk up from cold. Luckily we got the first act onstage a half hour before the kick-off so I could quickly get a rough sense of the overall set-up. A bit of exposition: it's convenient to reuse channels

9.

Text - across acts, so I generally keep the first twenty or so channels for drums, bass and guitars, and the last half dozen or so channels for vocals. If a band comes in with anything else-percussion, brass, Tibetan nose flutes etc., we whack them on channels in the middle. Keeps things nice, simple and consistent across the board, and becomes important in a moment. The working procedure in-show is also simple: Dreadful Boris and Big Chris run the monitor desk, and Hammer and I run front-of hou

10.

Text - We also tasked the Spotty Oik with helping with the stage setups, which rapidly proved problematical. We finished the first act and aimed to do the turnover within fifteen minutes. Generally the incoming act will tell us their mic requirements and we'll write up a mic plot which then gets sent up to the front-of-house desk. Up comes Spotty Oik with the mic plot and he goes back to help with the stage setup. As l'm checking each mic, I notice that I cannot hear the vocal channels. No soone

11.

Text - channels (he can't hear them either). He then goes off to check the stagebox where all the mics are plugged into. From all the way out front, I hear him shout, "Fuck me!". Seconds later he's back on the cans: "Do you know what that fecking idiot has done? Only repatched ALL the vocal channels so that all the plugs on the stagebox are "lined up neatly one after the other!–his words!!" Ye Gods!

12.

Text - Boris rapidly repatches the mics and we're good to go again. A few hours later and I'm starting my second shift out front (I won't bore you with my experiences of riding herd on Spotty Oik on the stage shift which- shall we say- was interesting. Currently on stage is a rather nice jazz septet (I love doing jazz-give me a nice 20-piece big band and l'm a happy bunny). Up strolls He Who Shall Not Be Mentioned and asks, "When can I have a go at mixing. I'm really good, you know." Seeing as h

13.

Text - Wrong!! I've already set what I regarded as a sensible baseline on the faders for him to work with. First thing he does, he reaches for the master faders and cranks in another 15dB-NOO00O!!! Immediately the rig teeters on the edge of feedback and I rapidly pull the mains back. "Look and listen: balance out the two vocals, then the guitars, leave the mains alone!" He then starts making wildly inappropriate changes to the channels' EQ-again the rig starts to squeak. Ok,

14.

Text - enough! I shove him out of the way and bring it back under control. I won't fatigue you further with the endless catalogue of foulups and attitude that he managed to effect over the rest of the weekend, suffice it to say that despite the best efforts of myself and Hammer to try and teach this guy, they all went to naught. Couple this with the constant drip-drip-drip of snide commentary about how he was "really a better engineer" than the rest of us, and by the end of the weekend, we're al

15.

Text - Come the end of the event and it's now the fun part of striking the rig and loading out (I'm being sarcastic about the fun part, by the way). Two solid days and we're all knackered and the last thing we want to be doing is the get-out but, of course, it has to be done. It's always an all-hands-on-deck situation... except the Spotty Oik has, once again, vanished into the woodwork. Two back-breaking hours later and we're all done, and the truck loaded to go home. So where is the Spotty Oik?

16.

Text - We give it a good fifteen minutes-but no joy. We then decide to go look for him, so we spent another twenty minutes trolling around the site trying to find him. Again, he's done a disappearing act. We get back to the truck-it's now close to 3am–and almost simultaneously we say, “Fuck him!" . We climb back aboard and drive the 250 miles back to the warehouse to unload. Next afternoon, Bossman calls me to find out why we'd left the Spotty Oik behind. I gave him the Cliff Notes and was then

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Bridezilla Announces Engagement At Friend’s Wedding

Man, that’s a low and self-centered move. This bridezilla is the queen of bridezillas. To seize the profound moment of your friend’s wedding to make an announcement about your own life situation, is the definition of toxic. That being said, it sounds like the bridezilla got what was coming to her for the stunt, years later. Can’t even imagine the look on her face when that pregnancy announcement came on the wire. 

Man, that’s a low and self-centered move. This bridezilla is the queen of bridezillas. To seize the profound moment of your friend’s wedding to make an announcement about your own life situation, is the definition of toxic. That being said, it sounds like the bridezilla got what was coming to her for the stunt, years later. Can’t even imagine the look on her face when that pregnancy announcement came on the wire. 

1.

Text - r/ProRevenge + JOIN u/yazdon • 3d 4 3 6 Don't announce your engagement at someone else's wedding, or this might just happen to you... (Originally I posted this to r/pettyrevenge, but I think it belongs here.) Last summer I was at a cousin's wedding. His bride and her family had been close with ours since before I was born, and the couple had known each other since they were toddlers, so it was a particularly exciting event for both sides of the family.

2.

Text - However, after the ceremony was over and the party had only just started, one of the bridesmaids decided to announce her own engagement. The attention was immediately taken away from the newlyweds and brought to the bridesmaid (who I'll call Sarah) and her equally-smug fiancé. My cousin's wife (I'll call her Emma) didn't make a scene or utter a single negative word about Sarah. She looked like she was on the verge of tears, but she kept grinning and acted very happy for the other couple.

3.

Text - Sarah later picked Emma to be the maid of honor at her own wedding, which took place last weekend (I wasn't there for it, but my cousin sent me some of the best bits on snapchat and explained the whole situation). This is where the fun begins.

4.

Text - Emma's two much-younger sisters were the flower girls at Sarah's wedding. At the very last moment, Emma switched out the white petals in their baskets to blue ones she had secretly brought with her. She told her sisters not to say anything about it or let the bride see them until it was time to scatter them down the aisle. Sarah looked very confused upon seeing the blue petals (which didn't coordinate whatsoever with her theme), but of course she didn't say anything about it in the moment

5.

Text - Finally, it was time for the speeches. The speeches took place in front of a massive screen, displaying a loop of photos with Sarah and her husband, which had been compiled by Emma.

6.

Text - Emma took the remote that controlled the presentation screen and at first she showed some pre-approved humorous photos of Sarah with Emma and other friends to facilitate a couple lighthearted jokes. Then, at the very end, Emma said to Sarah that she must be wondering why there were blue petals instead of the white ones originally planned. That was when Emma displayed the last slide from her presentation.

7.

Text - Emma announced in front of everyone that she was five months pregnant, and that she'd just discovered the baby was a boy, hence the blue petals. The last slide? Her ultrasound picture. There were shocked yells and gasps, Sarah had a fit, but those involved in the scheme cheered so loudly that I sincerely regret watching the snapchat recordings with headphones. Apparently Sarah had been very nasty to her bridesmaids before, driving several of them away and forcing the others to pay ridicul

8.

Text - Emma and my cousin were eventually thrown out of the party, but they were all smiles. Sarah's fuming mother went to confront her outside, and Emma retorted with, "Gentle, gentle! l'm pregnant!" T reckon Sarah doesn't speak to the majority of those bridesmaids anymore. [Tl;dr] Self-important bridesmaid announces her engagement at my cousin's wedding, stealing the spotlight from him and his bride. Said bridesmaid foolishly names my cousin's wife her maid of honour and behaves like a complet

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The Dank Drop: 25 Of Our Favorite Dank Memes Of The Week (5-16 To 5-22)

Thank God memers seem to be less interested in coronavirus and quarantine content nowadays, because honestly we were getting pretty tired of it. So please enjoy this week’s COVID-less installment of the Dank Drop, and check out last week’s drop here!

1.

Water - you get $50,000 but your parents walk in on you having sex with your girlfriend + $50,000 +a girlfriend + a dad Upgrades, people, upgrades

2. Untitled

3.

Text - In 2017, a dog named Odin refused to leave his flock of goats behind during the California Tubbs Fire as his owners fled to safety. Days later, the owners came back to their property to find Odin survived and managed to keep all the goats alive. The goats Odin is with us!

4.

Running - If a murderer is chasing you, hand him a pair of scissors and run away because he cant run with scissors E 123RF dem legs tho

5.

Text - Me after convincing a Buddhist millionaire that he owed me money 2 lifetimes ago

6. Untitled

7.

Cartoon - This year's Youtube Rewind will include some sort of Coronavirus motivational speech and it's gonna be the cringiest thing in existance

8.

Yellow - I've had a bad cough recently doctor Just stop coughing Imao Here's the bill +$3000

9.

Cartoon - My mom: *calls me during class* Me: *doesn't answer* My mom: He's doing something illegal.

10.

Product - Youtuber: You will just need som common tools ... The common tools:

11.

Face - My sister explaining why I shouldn't have eaten the brownies in her room Me: If you get a bigger bed for your bedroom you have less bedroom but more bed room

12.

Sky - RATED TV-PG sex, fear Well, mark me down as scared and horny!

13.

Hair - Karen in America: Karen in Scotland:

14.

Product - math as a kid math as an adult

15.

Dog breed - me: *enters a new website* website : ¿cookie?

16.

Cartoon - How cloning Nelson Mand could bring back Bionicle Please continue.

17.

Job - When the ugly girl takes off her glasses and unties her hair in a movie UTTONAL You are now sexy

18.

Text - Earth:*wins miss universe for the 67th time* Aliens:

19.

Photo caption - Greek 500 BC Greek 2020 Im broke My civilisation is the most advanced in the world

20.

Cartoon - Good grades measure how good your memory is, not how smart you are Girls named Emily If those kids could read they'd be very upset

21.

Nose - Doctor: Are you sexually active? Me Мy mom

22.

Face - Dad: Look into my eyes if you laugh you're lying. Also my dad:

23. Untitled

24.

Photo caption - Son :I wanna be Batman when I grow up. Father : No, bats are bad. Son : Why are bats bad? Father : | CNBC maybe that's a question you should ask china

25.

Text - Me: trying to pee at night My dick: stream of pee PREPARE FOR TROUBLE another stream of pee AND MAKE AT DOUBLE!

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Totally Random Things People Remember From Childhood

Someone on AskReddit got a fun thread going about the totally random things that folks recall from childhood. Some of these might hit close to home. It’s funny how unexplainable memories stick with us as we grow older and continue on walking through life. 

Someone on AskReddit got a fun thread going about the totally random things that folks recall from childhood. Some of these might hit close to home. It’s funny how unexplainable memories stick with us as we grow older and continue on walking through life. 

1.

Text - clusterlove • 5h My mum trusted me to post a letter for her and I put it down a drain cos drain grills kinda look like a letter box

2.

Text - heystellaaa • 4h Someone my mom knew came over for a visit. Her son and I went outside to play. He accidentally rattled a bee's nest. They started swarming. He yelled "run for your life!" So I did. The last thing I remember was looking back while running away and seeing him punching the bees. I don't know who he was or what happened to him. My mom has no recollection of this.

3.

Text - Super_Kami_Jojo • 4h I once had a dream where a gorilla walked into my room, grabbed and casually ripped out my hair (it didn't hurt though), ate it, and then walked out. That's it. Has stuck with me for 20 years

4.

Text - OffbrandJelly • 6h I called a bulldozer a duck once

5.

Text - rainbowwws •6h When Shrek came out, Heinz released ketchup in bright green and purple

6.

Text - Box_O_Bunnies • 5h I remember laying in a play tent on my back with my legs crossed in the air, bobbing my foot, surrounded by stuffed animals, looking at a picture book pretending I could read. Either in preschool or kindergarten. It's a nice little calming flash of childhood that pops into my head every now and then.

7.

Text - WeebNoob • 4h I remember when the Yorkie bars were advertised as "Not for girls!" Forward-thinking, aren't they? When I was six I got really upset because I wanted one but they were not for girls but I took that literally because I was a kid. Nowadays, I eat Yorkies a lot purely out of spite because I have never forgotten the torment they caused me all those years ago. They taste great, tho.

8.

Text - hulagirlslovetoparty • 5h Bunny Man. Weird dude in a bunny suit used to roll up outside my elementary school on a custom bike, blaring creepy carnival music out of a portable record player (sped up, too, so the voices were high and warbled). It was a whole thing, parents were worried he was a pedophile and trying to groom or abduct a kid.

9.

Text - Jekas_ • 6h We were like 2 years old, in the kindergarten, and the teacher asked us if we drinked milk from the baby bottle or from the mug. Everybody answered but there was this guy who said "I drink from the glass.". I never forgot that moment for some reason... pretty random.

10.

Text - corollaquestion2019 • 4h I remember very vividly, one day, sitting at the lunch table with my second grade class. A kid down the table picked up his orange Juicy Juice juice box and said, "I can suck this baby down in two seconds flat!" He did. Reader, I married him (20 years later).

11.

Text - aaareed • 5h The time in first grade I called the teacher mom and then the whole class started laughing and I stood up and started crying and as soon as it got quiet I farted loudly :/

12.

Text - Yeahlprobablydidit • 6h I remember when I was 5 or 6 a guy from my neighborhood told me happy birthday. I responded "happy birthday to you too Tommy" then I ran away mortified that I had responded to his happy birthday with the same reply. I felt like such a putz. Plot twist it was his birthday too so my response surprised him. I had no idea.

13.

Text - bru53001 • 4h Remember my dad telling me "You're no longer 3,little boy" on my 4th birthday Remember me crying in 1st grade because I couldn't find my friend And perhaps the most cringy thing I remember is trying to pee in a bottle, then missing it and peeing all over the car.(I was 6)

14.

Text - jacqueluvsjakie • 4h I was in kindergarten and I had collected these huge nuts from a tree during recess. A girl across from me had a huge birthmark on her arm and I kept staring at it. She got upset at me and was about to tell the teacher. I said, "No please! Here, have a nut!" She smirked, gladly took the nut, and didn't tell on me.

15.

Text - Delica • 6h My mom had a friend over and they were hanging out on the back patio. My dad came and got me with a mischievous look on his face. He lit a smoke bomb and threw it out a 2nd story window so it landed in the grass, and we both giggled. The women didn't react at all, just "Huh, (dad) must have thrown that."

16.

Text - okimlom • 4h Back when I lived with my mother, I want to say I was 4 or 5 years old, I built a "paint roller" out of legos and I would go around the house "painting the walls".

17.

Text - ArsonistL • 4h I thought I could fly as a kid and thus proceeded to yeet off a staircase, only to tumble two flights down... And the weirdest part was that I didn't cry but started to laugh instead.

18.

Text - glitteronthetrails • 4h I had a sink fall on my head when I was 3 or 4. Was at an orange-themed home improvement store, wandered away from my parents while they were looking at vanities and saw a pretty porcelain sink on the second shelf. I tried to climb up to get a better look, grabbing the rim of the sink. Apparently it wasn't secured and already tilted at an angle, so the entire thing tipped over and took me down. I remember screaming on the floor with huge shards of porcelain around

19.

Text - ZeroJackOogie • 4h My 9th birthday was the best ever because when I got home from school my mom gave me my present which was the play doh barber shop. I don't know whyI remember that so vividly. It's not even the best gift l've ever been given.

20.

Text - TheWertiestWertt • 4h I was eating a bag of chocolate cookies and let one fall to the floor, an old lady that had just bought some saw me desperately try to reach it and offered one. I accepted and was about to eat it when my mom came out of absolutely nowhere and slapped it right out of my hand, scaring me shitless, turns out she thought it was the floor cookie. Nowadays she justifies it by saying "you shouldn't accept food from strangers"

21.

Text - Kant_win • 5h A girl in my 3rd grade class named Renee tried to kiss me and I literally spit in her face. Obviously this was super mean and I definitely regret it. Renee, if you're reading this I'm so sorry and if it makes you feel any better it wasn't you and I still don't know how to give or receive love and physical affection; this has caused me a lot of misery in my adult life

22.

Text - nocreamjustsugar • 5h I was 9 years old and created my first AOL IM account with the screen name "sugarbby9" since I liked the candy with the same name

23.

Text - GigaPhoton78 •6h Being on the backyard as the sun sets eating my dog's food. Also remember being playing on my PSP outside, seeing the battery low and running inside so I could keep playing it as it charged.

24.

Text - WaterMelonShowerCap • 4h The entire lyrics to pretty woman Between the ages 1 and 11/2 me and my dad would dance to this song and as i got older i would wander what this song is and why i know it. A year ago i watched the movie and finally realised where the song was from, although now i realised it was about a woman and not a goat.

25.

Text - SwedeLikesBanana • 4h I found a lost phone at school, I ran around the playground screaming "I FOUND A PHONE!"

26.

Text - hitj • 4h An old lady lived a few doors down from us. I have a memory of her feeding me butterscotch candies and telling me they were actually dog treats.

27.

Text - BuryMelnPitaChips • 4h The slang from my elementary school. We had something called "fiddies" which was like a do-over and I've never heard anyone not from my town say it.

28.

Text - quirkyunoriginalteen • 4h One time when I was 4 I caught a fish (at Lake Tahoe at the time) and ended up being so terrified of it ran into the forest screaming like a banshee. My mom has to chase me down so I didn't get lost in the forest like a dumbass

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Woman’s Family Criticizes Fiancé’s Income

This woman asked the people of Reddit whether or not she was in the wrong for threatening to ban her family from the wedding. Sounds like the family was being all kinds of toxic, and they were trashing her fiancé’s income. 

This woman asked the people of Reddit whether or not she was in the wrong for threatening to ban her family from the wedding. Sounds like the family was being all kinds of toxic, and they were trashing her fiancé’s income. 

1.

Text - Text - AITA for telling my family to stay out of me and my fiancé's financial agreement and that if they keep bothering me they can't come to the wedding Not the A-hole So my fiancé and I have a large wealth discrepancy. My grandparents gave me and my sister a large amount of money when they died, and I have a much higher paying job than him. He works just as hard as me, he just gets paid less.

2.

Text - Text - The way our finances work right now is I pay most of our day to day expenses but he gets me nice birthday and Christmas presents. Last Christmas he got me a really beautiful necklace that he wouldn't have been able to afford if I made him pay rent on the apartment. So he contributes just as much as he normally would if he paid rent, but this makes me feel better. The rent doesn't suddenly cost more because he lives here, I was paying it by myself anyway. My parents pestered me and

3.

Text - Text - I called them over Mother's Day, and they spent the whole time asking if I have started making my fiancé pay rent. I finally got sick of it and told them no, to butt out and if they kept pestering me about our personal finances that they couldn't come to the wedding. They had another meltdown and said that I was horrible for even bringing up the possibility that I wouldn't invite them to the wedding. Was that threat too far? My mom called me crying today apologizing and basically g

4.

Text - Text - QueenyVicky • 22h • Asshole Enthusiast [5] NTA why do they think it's okay for them to say things like you should break up with him but it's not okay for you to tell them they won't be invited to a wedding they clearly disapprove of? I wouldn't want someone who clearly isn't happy for me to be at my wedding either. If you're happy in that arrangement, they have absolutely NOTHING to say. horrible

5.

Text - Text - Slutty_Squirrel • 15h If you make so much more... have you thought about a percent system? If you make 80% of the income - you pay 80% of the bills.

6.

Text - Text - Remindme2000 • 20h Just the fact you believe a prenup means lack of trust concerns me. It actually protects you both. I somehow feel like your family may have mentioned them as well. I would sign a prenuptial agreement in a heartbeat. Anyone who would balk at one would make me very concerned.

7.

Text - Text - grumpierolddog • 16h |(f 50) was just divorced and I sure do wish I had a pre nup. I made more than him, in the end. We paid off his student loans, mine were done, I owned a house pre- marriage, he was renting. When divorcing, he got fifty percent of my cal strs teachers retirement and half of our 403 B's even though I put in 60 per cent. He was unemployed numerous times, and quit a job that would have given him the same type of retirement I had. I never saw what a drain he was. I

8.

Text - Text - Remindme2000 • 22h They are afraid you are being used for your money. Of course it isn't any of their business what you do with your money but I am sure you don't want to be blind to someone taking advantage of you either. Love CAN be blind. It maybe prudent to consider a prenup.

9.

Text - Text - ForgottenTroll • 22h • Partassipant [4] NTA. You spoke in anger, but your parents also did not butt out when you told them to.

10.

Text - Text - Rey16 • 22h • Asshole Enthusiast [8] NTA. Your financial arrangement isn't their business. Your fiancé contributes in other ways and that's what works for you. And to be honest, it sounds like part of you being much more well off than him is luck, you just happened to have grandparents that were well-off enough to leave you a large sum of money when they passed. That's something that could have easily been reversed.

11.

Text - Text - this_is_an_alaia• 20h • Asshole Aficionado [15] NAH your parents are concerned about you. From your comments you're not interested in signing anything that protects yourself so your family want to protect you. They're being pushy but it probably comes from a good place

12.

Text - Text - androidis4lyf • 15h • Partassipant [1] NAH. You're upset because, rightfully so, it is your business and it is your choice. However, I am imagining that your parents are coming from a place of love and fear for their daughter, which is a normal parental reaction. Your man is on a good wicket. He doesn't have to pay to live at that level of lifestyle. To be fair, I would consider a prenup, because love can be blind and partnerships can turn sour.

13.

Text - Text - ColorfulToes • 20h NTA It's NBD that you make more than him and cover most of the expenses, regardless of what your family thinks A prenup is a good idea, and it has nothing to do with trust. It's just planning, and it can be fair to both parties. More than half of marriages end in divorce, so you will be against the odds if you stay together. Debt is a big factor. In my state, debt is marital debt no matter who has it, so a spouse can rack up hundreds of thousands in secret debt,

14.

Text - Squish_the_android • 10h • Asshole Enthusiast [9] NAH. They're worried about you and I have a feeling that thier fears are legitimate. Don't be naive. Get a prenup.

15.

Text - Text - theshebeast2050 • 14h • Asshole Enthusiast [6] ESH Contributions arent always monetary. But you invited them into this by telling about about your finances. And his. I'm sure you're fiance doesn't feel good about this right now.

16.

Text - LayleyBean • 14h • Partassipant [1] NAH Family didn't realized realize/listen to your HARD BOUNDARY. You communicated in a way that made it clear it was a hard boundary. They apologized Problem solved. Well done.

17.

Text - Text - ErikaNaumann • 20h NAH They are worried your fiancé is using you for your money. In a previous comment you said you are 100% sure he isn't. Well this is a red flag itself. Never trust anyone 100%. Have you seen the divorce rates and how the usually end up for the person with more money? Yeah not good. No one gets married thinking about divorce and gold diggers, until shit hits the fan. I strongly suggest you read about prenups. I know you won't, and we are all just wasting time. Yo

18.

Text - Text - Horangi1987 • 20h NTA - And, I bet if we flipped the scenario and it was the man paying all the rent, no one would question it at all! I'm in the same scenario, I make 2x what my boyfriend does, and I pay our rent - we're a very happy couple, and I feel very secure knowing that heaven forbid something changed between us, I'm perfectly financially independent. It's Don't let your parents get to you - that is unnecessary stress and strife, and not the way you want to start your new l

19.

Text - andwhatofmywrath • 22h NTA!!! They did not respect your privacy and wishes until you brought up them possibly being unwelcome at your wedding.

20.

Text - Text - brazentory • 17h NTA. Financial arrangements are between the two of you. As long as you both are happy is all that matters. It's none of their business.

21.

Text - Text - 1999falcon • 16h NTA . I would be worried that if they come to the wedding they will be ungracious to your partner and his family but cross that bridge later. My wife earns more than me by multiples , we both work hard , she's smarter than me hence more money. We have been married 30 plus years , love each other and get along great . If it works for you your parents need to suck it up and let's face it if the genders were reversed it would not be such an issue.

22.

Text - Text - cirena • 16h NTA. If you give them this inch, they'll take the whole mile. If they want to come, they can behave like civilized adults and not the town gossip.

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Woman Bests Water Department Workers

Nothing warms the heart like a nice case of petty revenge. It’s amazing it took them a whole year to notice. 

Nothing warms the heart like a nice case of petty revenge. It’s amazing it took them a whole year to notice. 

1.

Text - r/pettyrevenge + Join u/Angrycat11111 • ly Stupid woman bests water department workers My ex husband and I bought our home from his parents. They had the house built in the 50's. For years, father in law wanted to install a shutoff valve in the utility room to, you know, shut off the water to the whole house to do some repairs. Plumber told him it would cost a large amount of money because they could not find the shut off from the city water main at the street, the "buffalo box", a/k/a wa

2.

Text - When we bought the house, we decided to get the shut off valve installed. We called the water department and they sent 2 workers to shut off the water. When they arrived, I explained the problem. They went out to the front yard, walked around a bit and told me there was nothing they could do for me. According to the 2 workers, it was my problem that they could not find the buffalo box and that I should call a plumber to dig up my front yard, sidewalk, and city easement to find MY buffalo

3.

Text - According to these guys, as a woman, I did not know what I was talking about and they left. They were incredibly rude about it, but peons like these think they can get away with being rude to an ignorant woman like me. Fast forward to a year or so later. I get a call from the city manager asking why I hadn't paid my water bill for over a year. I told him that I wanted to pay my water bill, but I wanted them to first turn off my water. He was a bit taken aback that I WANTED them to turn of

4.

Text - So, I explained what the city workers told me about locating the buffalo box and their attitude about women not understanding those type of things. I also told him that if the city could not turn off my water, I would be happy to have free water forever, cuz I would never pay another bill. We had a nice long chat about the situation and he said that he would resolve my concerns. The next day, these same 2 guys show up at my house with some digging equipment and spend the whole day digging

5.

Text - They found the buffalo box, under the city owned sidewalk!! They fixed the buffalo box so it would be accessible and came the next day to fix the sidewalk. They asked if I wanted the water turned off, declined, and I told them I would have my plumber take care of it when we had him install the interior shutoff valve. And then I paid the water bill.

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Former Flat-Earthers Moments Of Enlightenment

Someone on AskReddit got a fun thread going about the moments that former flat-earthers realized that the earth is indeed not flat. We love a good roundtable discussion involving newly enlightened flat-earthers. A strange bunch, but at least we get moments like this as a result. 

Someone on AskReddit got a fun thread going about the moments that former flat-earthers realized that the earth is indeed not flat. We love a good roundtable discussion involving newly enlightened flat-earthers. A strange bunch, but at least we get moments like this as a result. 

1.

Text - spacedandy1baby • 4h This will probably get buried but as someone who entertained but never fully believed the idea and went pretty deep down the rabbit hole it's time. On a flat earth map circling the north pole should be an extremely short trip while circling the south pole would be the longest route on the planet. The further south you get the further apart things should be and the longer trips would take. The flat earth map really falls apart there. Once they start arguing that time w

2.

Text - hasslesass • 5h S 1 Award Hey something I can finally answer! Not me but my good friend and room mate fell into the flat earth black hole while in university. Started out as a joke but then he just fell into it more and more. Eventually I challenged him to do an experiment to figure it out ourselves. We went to opposite ends of a big inlet - bay. He had calculated the supposed curvature of the earth and figured out that from the distance between us me at one end and him at the other we sh

3.

Text - Madrea_to_you • 4h My ex husband is a flat earther. Literally nothing you can say to him will make him think otherwise. Including that damn "fifteen degree drift." He acknowledges that he doesn't think like everybody else but insists that everybody else is wrong. I can't tell you the countless hours that I wasted in YouTube rabbit holes with him explaining the logistical ways the earth is flat, and that there is an ice wall encapsulating us to prevent the oceans from pouring over. They ar

4.

Text - CounterStreet • 7h 4 Awards I think I was about 3 when first saw a globe and had it explained to me.

5.

Text - _Nyarlethotep_• 7h 3 1 Award I doubt you'll find many, if any reformed flat earthers. For people like that who are so entrenched within their ideology, the flat earth isn't just something they believe, it's who they are. They have flat earth friends, listen to flat earth podcasts, watch flat earth YouTube, and wear flat earth clothes to their flat earth meetings. Even if deep down, someone like that had an epiphany and realized that they were wrong, imagine how hard it would be to reject

6.

Text - CaptHorney_Two • 4h I got a tattoo about a year ago. The guy was highly rated in tattoo and his photo realistic style was exactly what I was looking for to commemorate my mothers passing 20 years prior. While he is setting up, he puts on the tv and the first thing that comes on is a youtube channel about flat earth theories. What followed was the wildest 4 hours I have eve or had strapped into a chair with a man going at my arm with a device that stabs my skin hundreds of times per second

7.

Text - Geno_Breaker • 4h I think my favorite recorded Flat Earther interaction was when Elon Musk tweeted at the Flat Earth Society and asked them why they believed the Earth was flat when we could plainly see that Mars is round. They responded that unlike the Earth, Mars has been observed to be round.

8.

Text - Aslzglobal2 · 5h Ah finally a question perfect for me, I became a flat earther for quite a long time and it was still suprising that I realised that Flat earthers is just straight up Stupid, because for me, the fact that we see the earth flat ia because its an illusion of our eyes. (And yes I became a globe earther again and believed In the moon landing again) (Edit : fixed typo)

9.

Text - jigitafoo • 7h When i was 5 i thought the world was infinite like minecraft and where i could not see past, i just thought the chunks where still loading

10.

Text - TrungusMcTungus • 3h I have an acquaintance I met in the Navy, who joined specifically so he could see that the earth was flat while at sea. Every day he would chart the ships location, speed, heading, etc, a few times a day so he could make a map of their path. Ultimately he realized that the path the ship was taking would be impossible if the earth was flat, based on the distance they were travelling vs their speed. When he finally got skeptical of the earth being flat, his LPO went top

11.

Text - secretlyawolf • 7h Mountains, man. There is more to the world than an endless expanse of corn fields.

12.

Text - rokiiin • 3h I'm not a flat earther, but my ex was. He believed all conspiracy theories, no matter what evidence I showed him. My ex made me watch an hour long documentary in which in the last 3 minutes the man said the world is infact a Mobius strip and that's why no one falls off. I just looked at him after that documentary and could not take him seriously. We broke up soon afterwards.

13.

Text - MadEarthTheory • 8h 1 Award Round about the time I was at the round-about, I remember thinking, round here roundness is not just on the round-about but about being round. Having rounded down my choices and choosing the round Earth I instantly felt like a more rounded individual.

14.

Text - seaotter_toebeans • 3h My husband got trapped in a YouTube black hole of flat earth videos for awhile. Drove me up a wall. As of recently I discovered he changed his mind. His reasoning? He discovered the majority of flat earthers are Trumpers with extreme political views and who agree with trumps stupid logic. Husbands flat earth ideas died that day.

15.

Text - Hadrian_Haldol • 7h I think for flat-earthers it is less about proving the world is flat but more about to prove that there is a god. And in a certain way I get that you won't let this go. So in the end facts do not matter, I guess you could shoot a flat-earther to the moon and they would still find a way to explain that this was just a simulation or whatever.

16.

Text - AngryAnchovy • 5h Former flat earthers here. It was the horizon. A flat earth could never explain the horizon. It surrounds the observer and it is typically assumed to be a circle, which we know it's not a true circle, drawn on the surface of a slanted model of the earth. That's why the earth is really a triangle. #TriangleEarth

17.

Text - Aussie-Nerd • 6h I thought oceans were a myth, sort of. When I was a kid the largest body of water was a river I could swim across. When I eventually say the Pacific Ocean for the first time it scared the shit out of me.

18.

Text - Konjuga2 • 3h There is a flight from santiago (chile) to somewhere in australia. On the flat earth it is impossible to fly this route without stopping. Yet, there are several videos of people flying this route. You only need one thing to disprove your theory and yeah that changed my mind. People still called all the videos of this flight fake and stuff smh.

19.

Text - Nerdonic • 3h I'm not a flat earther, but I think it truly hit me the world was not flat when I flew from Toronto to Singapore in two different directions, both east and west. Before that, I have this concept that the earth is round and accepted it through the (overwhelming) evidence presented to me. Maybe we should get some flat earthers on some planes and throw them around the globe.

20.

Text - NervousBreakdown • 3h I'm expecting to read a lot of "someone made me see a doctor and they found a crayon up my nose poking my brain turning me into a moron. They removed the crayon and I also stopped chanting USA USA whenever I heard it."

21.

Text - actionyann • 5h I built a flying device to take picture of the other side of the disc. But I forgot to remove the camera cap, therefore I did not got any picture of the 4 elephants, and couldn't figure the sex of the turtle. What a disappointing waste of time!

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Man Gives Himself Food Poisoning To Win Argument

People will go to extraordinary lengths to win arguments. In this case, we’re looking at a dude who was so committed to proving his point, that he gave himself food poisoning in the process. 

People will go to extraordinary lengths to win arguments. In this case, we’re looking at a dude who was so committed to proving his point, that he gave himself food poisoning in the process. 

1.

Text - r/tifu + Join u/evil-ex-girlfriend • 30d 2 1 1 1 1 F 1 3 1 1 2 1 TIFU by giving myself mild food poisoning to win a petty argument. Have you ever done a dumb thing out of spite? Buckle up. I have an ongoing zoodle infatuation because zoodles are a low-guilt sauce converyor belt to my mouth. I've stocked up on pasta sauce and I'm taking mealtimes SERIOUSLY. Nothing is wasted, leftovers are used, end of story. So a couple days ago when my boyfriend, let's call him David, found an open bottl

2.

Text - David: "This has to go in the fridge. It's probably no good now." Me, not openly questioning my partner's judgement, but also knowing that he does not count the forehead as part of the face so I cannot put blind faith in everything he says: "It will be fine. I opened it, like, yesterday. Or, two days ago." David: "It should have been refrigerated. I really don't think you should eat this." Now, I've watched David put sesame oil in the fridge. He thinks soy sauce belongs in the fridge. We

3.

Text - The vodka sauce goes into the fridge instead of the trash. Cut to yesterday night, where I have already eaten dinner but I am an emotional binge eater and I had to fill the sad with food, you know how it goes. What will make the sad go away? Zoodles with the opened Vodka sauce. It was only until after I had made everything did I notice the perfect, circular fluff of mold growing on the lid of the sauce jar. But it's only on the lid, right? If I tell David about this, while he would never

4.

Text - It's fine. The food is fine, I think as I eat it. I tell myself that it doesn't taste off in the way that you tell yourself that vegetarian sausage tastes like the real thing. The vodka sauce quietly goes into the garbage. Cut to midnight, where we are watching a movie. Things are feeling off in my stomach, and there's some major gurgling going on. Then there's a shift, and pain explodes through the red carpet of my intestines for a good long while until I have no choice but to explain to

5.

Text - David does not say "I told you so", but I know he is secretly balancing the checkbook of arguments he's won. He rubs my belly while I cry. I love him. It's now 3AM and I've been farting for what feels like my entire life? Once upon a time, I had a life and a job and could go outside, and nowI have no life and no job and my knees are at ear-level while l'm on the john, seranading my septic system with a cacophony of rich bass and tenor farts. I'm sweating harder than I do when I work out.

6.

Text - shouldn't have died on. Don't be like me, kids. Tl;dr: I gave myself food poisoning and turned myself into an ass trumpet to win an argument. Lost the argument anyway.

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Sales Manager Lies, Man Takes Supernova Level Revenge

This sales manager thought she was so clever, when it came time to run the performance review on the top performing sales rep. By the sound of it, the dude was crushing it. Unfortunately, the sales manager decided to treat that stellar performance with a heavy dose of dishonesty, and tried to make him out to be a poorly performing employee. Well, with the help of technology and a coworker who had some evidence on the manager’s indiscretions, she was quickly removed from her position. This is one of those revenge stories that’s just so sweet, you might want to read it again. 

This sales manager thought she was so clever, when it came time to run the performance review on the top performing sales rep. By the sound of it, the dude was crushing it. Unfortunately, the sales manager decided to treat that stellar performance with a heavy dose of dishonesty, and tried to make him out to be a poorly performing employee. Well, with the help of technology and a coworker who had some evidence on the manager’s indiscretions, she was quickly removed from her position. This is one of those revenge stories that’s just so sweet, you might want to read it again. 

1.

Text - r/NuclearRevenge + Join u/sting2018 • 1y My performance review that became my managers performance review Lots of folks over at O r/prorevenge suggested I post this, to summarize what happened: I was the top sales person, by a large margin at a location that was vastly under performing. My sales manager accused me of lying in front of the VP, I proved I wasn't lying, I then put out two more facts of information and as a result she was fired as a result of my performance review...enjoy. I

2.

Text - I was working with a B2B Sales company (we sold services to companies basically) And this company had managed to hire the most incompetent, lazy, and jealous sales manager I have ever come across. We were a team of 5 sales people and a sales manager, all 5 of us sales people hated our sales manager for various reasons but we liked her personally. I was the top sales person on the team, I was sitting at 170% of my yearly objective and was well on my way to presidents club. This is largely

3.

Text - Right off the bat Mrs. B hits me with "Sting you know our location hasn't been performing at objective for a number of years, and we suspect this is because sales people are misrepresenting their daily work" I'm ataken back. "Sting I don't think you are actually doing what you say you are doing in your CRM, this is something that could get you fired" I looked at Mrs. B and I said "Really?" she said "yea" | hit her back with "I'm shocked you decided to go this route" Mrs. B with a confiden

4.

Text - "Well Sting I'm not saying you never go in the field, I just think some days you stay at home and put in BS notes in the CRM" I said "Mrs B, pick a day, any day, pick a day you think I lied about my sales activities" So Mrs. B picks a day. Now I'm smiling ear to ear, and I'm fucking heated right now. I notice the VP is smiling at me and his head is slanted to one side, I suspected he knew Mrs. B was about to get absolutely fucking owned...and he was right.

5.

Text - So she gives me the day and I turn to the VP "Mr. VP are you aware of how android phones work?" VP responds "Enlighten me" I said "By default android has location services turned on, and in fact google will track where you went and when, naturally I carry my phone everywhere so lets compare what google says I did that day to what my CRM says"

6.

Text - So I pull up my google location services for that day, and surprise surprise is a match. Mrs. B is obviously very concerned at this point I said "I'm actually quite enjoying this performance review, lets pick another day Mrs. B" Mrs B fires back "We don't need to do that" I turn to the VP "Mr. VP would you mind picking a day?" He says "Sure what about XYZ" He pulls up my CRM, I pull my location services for that day. Guess what? Its a match.

7.

Text - I then get ready to pull out the big guns, "Mr. VP do you remember company XYZ with a contract value of excess of $1 million that we lost rececntly?" "Yes Sting I remember, apparently our competitor won them over on price we can't win them all" "Mr. VP, here is an email from their VP basically stating that they've decided not to go with us for our failure to provide 3 samples for them to decide on which product worked best for them" "Sting can you forward that to me?" "Sure not a problem

8.

Text - "Now Mr. VP I had our service department look to see if any orders had been placed for those samples, no orders were actually placed" He said "i'm going look into this" Mrs. B is fucking sweating mother fucking bullets at this point, my performance review has just turned into her performance review and shits not going right. "Mr. VP I have one more thing l'd like to bring to your attention, do you mind if I step outside for a minute so I can show you?" he said "sure, I need to have a talk

9.

Text - Now I need to mention that several years prior to this a general manager at another location raped a woman, the company was sued and lost a lot of money because of this. Since this incident the company put in a very clear cut policy "No sexual relations between management and people who work for them, its immediate termination for the manager" Now another sales consultant in the office, was named Joe. Joe was a married man with two beautiful kids and Mrs. B had the hots for him. She tried

10.

Text - All the sales staff knew what was going on, the mood in the office was lifted. Joe and I begin walking back to the conference room when the Location Manager who was not a part of the performance review saw Joe and I, he asked "Whats going on?" and Joe said "Your going need to hire a new sales manager soon" location manager was confused, he said he's coming into the meeting we said fine. I knocked on the door, Mr. VP said come on in so I did. There we stood, Joe, myself, and the location m

11.

Text - "Mr VP I just want to clarify a company policy" "sure" "Is it true that if a manager tried to engage in a sexual relationship with a direct report that its immediate termination for that manager?" Mr. VP sits up straight, takes a moment and goes "Yes, if something like that came to my attention my hands would be tied l'd have to fire the manager" I said "Well Joe has something he wants to show you" Mrs. B got up and walked out of the conference room, she was about to cry you could tell. H

12.

Text - The VP asked him to screen shot those and email those over, Joe said he would. Then the VP said "I'm going need both of you to go back to the sales office, the location manager and I have some talking to do" We walk back into the sales office, I noticed the sales manager office had looked cleaned out, apparently Mrs. B was balling, she was a wreck and crying, and said she was going home. Joe laughed and said "Yea she won't be coming back" It was about 20-25 minutes when the VP came into t

13.

Text - I sat down and the VP said "Well, I would like to inform you that Mrs. B has been terminated effectively immediately, with this being said after your performance review, and looking over your numbers you are our top sales rep in this location and deserve nothing short of stellar remarks on your review and you'll be getting that" I said "Thank you, I do have one question?" he said "Sure, anything" "How do I apply for new sales manager job that just opened up"

14.

Text - Mr. VP laughed and said "You sure do you like to strike while the iron is hot don't you?" I said I do, he said he would let the location manager know and l'd be able to put in my application. I thanked him and he said "No, thank you In my 35 years of being in sales and sales management that was by far the most interesting performance review I have ever witnessed" I did not end up getting promoted, I ended up quiting shortly after this

15.

Text - I ended up quitting shortly after this because they decided to not promote me and instead hired a guy with no sales experience to be our sales manager, and this rubbed me the wrong way. Also our service department sucked and couldn't deliver on what I was selling, and another company offered me more money

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The Dank Drop: 25 Of Our Favorite Dank Memes Of The Week (5-09 To 5-15)

It seems like every week dank memers get less and less inclined to create content about coronavirus, which we’re extremely okay with. And in case you missed last week’s Dank Drop, click here! (The memes are still good, we promise.)

1. Untitled

2.

Facial expression - 11 21 41 51 1 31 st

3.

Water - BLACK Brags Lea LEX APE Angry virgins Someone with a girlfriend WPAIN LACK u/BakedPlatypus "SIMP" 的

4.

Head - Look how they massacred my boy.

5.

Text - Dad: are ya winning, son? Me playing rollercoaster tycoon and building a rollercoaster that launches people into my rival's park and kills them, thereby driving his ratings down because he technically died in his park: Made with MS paint Yes

6.

Nose - Me : mom, what's an orgasm? Mom : don't know, never had it Dad :

7.

Athletics - The faster you walk the more unhappy you are. TYO OTODAY naICA Lomlon 2012 BOLT

8.

Product - Hackers in movies: Gamers in movies: Hackers in real life: Gamers in real life:

9.

Text - s/dank memes u/ Kerenhaha Interesting title Tweets Tweets +lelies Man @guy OWarld rather? 90% Bad thing 10% Cardi B Democracy 1140k 342 1 Shre

10.

Cartoon - online at 2 AM: The Americans are asleep, let's make fun of them! Me, who has an unhealthy sleep scedule: Oheard that!

11.

Facial expression - OF Ber "I love you" andars.com 76 * OF Bernie 20.5k Berni 等1212 .com Who the fuck am i 2 points 1 day ago rnie Now this is a REAL dank meme Reply Give Award Share Report Save Removed: Too edgy

12.

Technology - Restaurants in 2019: Restaurants in 2020: Take this shit and get out.

13.

Fictional character - WILL YOU PRESS THE BUTTON? You get $50 Your dad gets but million half of it +$25 million +1 dad Upgrades, people: Upgrades.

14.

Facial expression - knowing what's going on from tv |and news articles knowing what's going on from memes u/HannibalGoddamnit

15.

Text - Police officer: We're letting you out of jail when pigs fly. Me: Don't you guys have helicopters? Police officer: Listen here, you little shit

16.

Cool - THIRD PERSON GAME CAMERAMAN KUNE DO THIRD PERSON GAME CHARACTER

17. Untitled

18.

Face - Emperor Palpatine is back! How? Disney Everyone Disney Disney made with mematic

19.

Photo caption - Amazon Music tryna find recommendations for my family account like 1700s Sea Shanties 1930s Blues Classical EDM

20.

Cartoon - WHEN I TALK TO A GIRL FOR 3 HOURS made with memati0h boy, that's not good, Feelings

21.

Text - Online teacher: "If you open another tab, the test will close and I will know! So, no cheating!" The kid with dual-monitors: 4ET I don't have such weaknesses

22.

Text - Me when I find a post so bad, downvoting it won't be satisfying: O Hide Looks like you're going to the Shadow Realm, Jimbo.

23.

Cartoon - Cyberpunk players when they get a multiplayer mode Your hotdog is no match for my bratwurst

24.

Helmet - It is illegal to die in the Houses of . Parliament in London, England. What the guy in Parliament sees after having a stroke You are under arrest, dirtbag

25.

Text - Karens after literally 10 minutes of reading conspiracy theories on sketchy websites: Knowledge is Power

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AskReddit Thread: English Language Rules That Baffle People

Someone on AskReddit got a fun thread going that has people who picked up English later in life, or as a second language, describing the parts about the language that baffles them the most. Learning new languages is certainly not an easy thing to do. Maybe some folks that have muddled through the disorienting process of learning a new language, or picking up English, will connect on a deeply painful level with these replies. 

Someone on AskReddit got a fun thread going that has people who picked up English later in life, or as a second language, describing the parts about the language that baffles them the most. Learning new languages is certainly not an easy thing to do. Maybe some folks that have muddled through the disorienting process of learning a new language, or picking up English, will connect on a deeply painful level with these replies. 

1.

Text - 01rafa • 11h tough though thought through thorough

2.

Text - Hmmhowaboutthis • 12h Why do alarms go off? Aren't they really turning on?

3.

Text - AmigoDelDiabla • 10h Taught ESL to Russians, who don't use articles for nouns. Was asked why you say, "I had breakfast" but also would say "I had A big breakfast." Let's just say I wasn't a great teacher.

4.

Text - Sab_accha_ho_jayga • 10h Rough Dough Through Rhyme? No But Pony Bologna Yes

5.

Text - lina360 • 10h Fucking articles! A, an, the, no article. I hate it. Thank God I know how to use them in most cases out of pure luck, but it's so frustrating! Oh, you want to name a mountain? Use no article. But only for one mountain. For mountain chain use the. And all the exceptions in each and every rule. Why even bother inventing rules if in half of the cases when you are trying to use it there is an exception?!

6.

Text - Mojrzeszg • 11h The inconsistency in pronouncing of the same letters or sets of letters. Like in Pacific Ocean every "c" is different. "Ea" in diffrent tenses e.g. lead, read. You can pronounce "a" in 8 different ways. You can also find "a" sound like in "art" in words that aren't spelled with "a", for example, down, clerk, choir.

7.

Text - arnoldone • 12h Why are there words that even though they are spelled exactly the same, they are pronounced different based on the context. • The guy is an invalid, he is bound to his bed. The strategy used is invalid. It shouldnt have ever been accepted. • I read every night. • I read the whole book while I was on the plane.

8.

Text - aonele • 11h Chaos. Why the fuck is it pronounced like that? When it's spelled like this??

9.

Horrific (bad) Terrible (bad) –> Terrific (good) ???” title=”” width=”800″ height=”153″/>

10.

Text - DragonDivider • 9h More the missing of a word. In german you can say something like: Geht es dir nicht gut? (Do you not feel good?) Doch mir geht es gut. (I'm feeling good) The "doch" is a word to say after no/not to state that the no is wrong. But there is no translation for that in english. Edit: es

11.

Text - notamistakeihope • 12h Hey kids! Remember, it's I before E except after C, or when sounding like "A" as in "neighbor" and "weigh"! Plus these few exceptions: caffeine, species, science, sufficient, ancient, society, weird, theism, protein, sovereign, foreign, feisty, kaleidoscope, codeine, deify, deity, seize, beige, neither, counterfeit, zeitgeist, sheik, conscience. And that's I before E except after C. Plus a few exceptions.

12.

Text - Lucretius91 • 11h I don't know what a participle is. What's a preposition? Was I supposed to end my first sentence with 'is'? It's not something I'm aware of.

13.

Text - listentothiscrap • 10h The syntax. La camisa roja (the shirt red) vs the red shirt. Now that I speak English predominantly, going back to spanish is always a trip and it makes me stutter.

14.

Text - CADS_AZRG • 10h We were taught that verbs like is, am, are, are "verbs to be". What the fuck is a "verb to be". And how are they even verbs in the first place

15.

Text - Guilty_Coconut • 7h The spelling and complete lack of rules for it. All other languages I speak have spelling that is more or less phonetic. English spelling is all over the place.

16.

Text - leaky_eddie • 11h I shed a tear when I tear my fingernail on the door that's ajar

17.

Text - kingbane2 • 10h inflammable means the same as flammable.... why?

18.

Text - ObliterAsian • 11h HOW DO I SAY VEGETABLE Like is it veggie table Or vej ter bul

19.

Text - GamersStrike • 11h Posh what the hell does this word mean

20.

Text - Dynasuarez-Wrecks • 6h Dude, I speak English primarily, and even I have to wonder about some of its conventions. Why do we have to capitalize the first word of a sentence? What does the capital do that the end punctuation of the previous sentence does not? that question mark already told you one sentence had ended and that another was starting. "I" before "E" except after "C" or when it sounds like long "A". You may break this rule at your leisure. It also doesn't apply during seizures. T

21.

Text - Noobster646 • 3h We have noses that run and feet that smell

22.

Text - mellbell13 · 7h My non-native speaker friend used to pronounce cafe as "kayf". It's the only way I say it now.

23.

Text - dontgetthejoke2 •6h Colonel is pronounced kernel. Why didn't they just spelled it as kernel.

24.

Text - Royal_Count • 6h How do you pronounce "comfortable" "Com for te bl" or "comf tebl" i really have problems with that

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Common Sayings That Annoy People

Someone on AskReddit got a thread going about those common sayings that just grind people’s gears. Many of us have that one thing that upon hearing it, just brings our blood to a boil. 

Someone on AskReddit got a thread going about those common sayings that just grind people’s gears. Many of us have that one thing that upon hearing it, just brings our blood to a boil. 

1.

White - bornk828 • 4h S 1 Award Live. Laugh. Love.

2.

Text - Kongbuck • 4h "Just kidding!" When you catch someone red handed doing something they shouldn't, and they dismissively say, "just kidding" as if it never happened and they're thus absolved of everything. It drives me up the wall. At least own up to it!

3.

Text - schadenfreudig_me • 4h 1 Award More recent "We're all in this together".

4.

Text - shopcounterwill • 5h "Hello. We're calling about your car's extended warranty."

5.

White - Born_Slippee • 3h 3 1 Award "Give 110 percent"

6.

Text - lamNurgle777 • 5h Nothing can stop a team. If you work your hardest you will succeed. stuff like that

7.

Text - llcucf80 • 5h 2 Awards The customer is always right. Reply 7.1k ...

8.

Text - AskAccount1234 • 4h Here's the kicker. I have no idea why but it does my head in.

9.

White - mpedno • 3h 3 1 Award No one: Literally no one: Мe:

10.

White - BOOPO • 5h 2 Awards "No offense – but" -

11.

Text - Gunch_Bandit • 4h My buddy vehemently opposes the word "anyways" claiming it is not a word and only "anyway" is acceptable.

12.

Text - grumpybatman4 • 4h 1 Award Idk if it really fits, but when people write "would of". It makes me hate people

13.

Text - GoodLordChokeAnABomb • 5h "Everything happens for a reason." Someone actually wrote this on Facebook to a family member of mine after she had a miscarriage.

14.

White - Heyitsj1337 • 4h Irregardless.

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Text - JaneEyreosmith • 4h It's just a word but I loath the term "hubby". It makes me want to claw my own face off and throw it at whoever said it.

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Text - TheBassMeister • 4h "If you cannot handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best".

17.

Text - Elias19990 • 4h "If they told you to jump off a cliff, would you?" It is always a false equivalence.

18.

Text - ToshiAyame • 3h "If it doesn't scan it's free!" No, Janet. If it doesn't scan, I can't sell it to you. It's not a posted policy, so get bent.

19.

Text - scaredandlesbian • 3h 1 Award I'm so OCD! or I'm just super anti-social. or any other time someone claims they have a mental illness they know nothing about.

20.

Text - Mercurial_Rhombus • 4h 'Just be positive.' Well, if I could I would.

21.

Text - Michael12390• 3h "think about everyone else that has much bigger problems than you and realize your problems aren't that big" something like that

22.

Text - ReaverRogue • 4h Every single piece of office jargon ever. Hits include: Let's put a pin in that Let me swivel chair that Nice to e-meet you (email exclusive) Our core values are Let's touch base I'll just ping you on X There's no "I" in team It's on my radar Hit the ground running Literally anyone that uses this crap in day to day speech needs a slap.

23.

Text - hot_bipolar_action • 5h 2 Awards "I could care less." This means that you care. What you meant to say is, "I couldn't care less." As in, you don't care. The irony hurts.

24.

Text - Lgonzalez0399• 3h "I don't know isn't an answer" Or the parent version of I don't know "Because I said so"

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Karen Makes Neighborhood Miserable, Gets Fined, Goes Bankrupt

Man oh man, this Karen was on one. Sounds like she was running around the neighborhood meddling in everyone’s affairs, and bringing all kinds of negative chaos to the otherwise peaceful neighborhood. Well, eventually Karen took it too far. She shouldn’t have messed with those orchards. Fast forward, and she ended up being fined, going bankrupt, and having to sell her property. Ouch.

Man oh man, this Karen was on one. Sounds like she was running around the neighborhood meddling in everyone’s affairs, and bringing all kinds of negative chaos to the otherwise peaceful neighborhood. Well, eventually Karen took it too far. She shouldn’t have messed with those orchards. Fast forward, and she ended up being fined, going bankrupt, and having to sell her property. Ouch.

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Text - cost her an equivalent of $437,000 plus further expenses as lawyers etc... This caused her to go bankrupt so she had to sell the property in the end, which my parents bought, by the way. Last i heard of her was that she moved back to the big city. TL;DR: Karen makes living in our neighbourhood miserable, almost destroys an 120 year old orchard, destroys a 180 year old buidling, builds an illegal house, gets fined, goes bankrupt and has to sell her property. EDIT: Yes, the Peach Parties ar

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