Fifteen Pregnancy Memes For All The Moms-To-Be

Pregnant women deserve way more recognition for the sh*t they have to go through. Seriously, y’all are superheroes or something. Scroll down and browse through the following memes about how horrible pregnancy is, and then click here after the baby is born for some memes about the “joys” of parenting!

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Facial expression - Other moms: OMG processed food is so bad for your baby I would NEVER Me on my second bag of Cheetos: imgflip.com

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Text - The Salty Mamas @saltymamas Pregnancy has apparently turned me into a person that eats cinnamon raisin bagels. I don't even know who I am anymore and I don't like it. 7:43 AM 15 May 20 Twitter for Android

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Cartoon - ISTHIS.A CONTRACTION? BRAXTON HICKS

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Spider-man - NY PO NOT EATING BECAUSE OF MORNING SICKNESS MORNING SICKNESS BECAUSE I DIDNT EAT

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Cartoon - LETS GET PREGNANT IN 2020! LET'S GET PREGNANT IN 2020! GLOBAL PANDEMIC imgflip.com

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Green - ITS JUST PREGNANCY HORMONES, NO NEED TO BE UPSET NO, SOB UNCONTROLLABLY FOR THE NEXT TWENTY MINUTES maflin com

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Cartoon - NOT SURE IF BABY IS KICKING OR IF I HAVE JUST HAVE GAS

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Text - Messages Babe Edit Hey babe Hey I have a present for you Cool. What is it? :D You'll see in 9 months ;) Cool so did you like order it overseas? :D in terms of brain cells we have no brair

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Photo caption - "WOW! YOU WERE ABLE TO GIVE TWO URINE SAMPLES THIS MORNING!" THAT'S MY SECRET I ALWAYS HAVE TO PEE imgflip.com

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Text - WHEN YOU AND YOUR FRIEND ARE PREGNANTAT THESAME TIME IMPERIALBEDROOMS Did we just become best friends? imgflip.com

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Cartoon - Bringing a child into the world during global pandemic, massive.unemployment, and civil unrest THIS IS FINE. mgfilip.com

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Cartoon - A stroller A Vista Cruz Bugaboo Turbocharge 4WD High Capacity Smooth Ride 3-in-1 Convertible Baby Transport imgflip.com

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Pregnancy test - Now they've invented a pregnancy test with a curved handle, so you don't get pee on your hand? FIRST pregna ID net pregnant D Listen, if you aren't ready to get pee on your hand, you definitely aren't ready for motherhood.

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Cartoon - IVE FINALLY FOUND IT... AFTER 15 YEARS THE SCROLL OF TRUTH! Robatatertotcomics NYEHHH Pregnancy is not an excuse to eat all the ice cream you want

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Face - No one: My hormones: | said we mad today

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Manager Tries To Eliminate Woman’s Job, She Quits In Glory

Now that’s a satisfying pro revenge. We love a good mic drop. When this woman discovered that the company had done the kind of shady angling that ultimately reflected poorly back on her (for what was no good reason), she decided to put together just the kind of presentation that must’ve rendered that room completely silent. What a way to go out. 

Now that’s a satisfying pro revenge. We love a good mic drop. When this woman discovered that the company had done the kind of shady angling that ultimately reflected poorly back on her (for what was no good reason), she decided to put together just the kind of presentation that must’ve rendered that room completely silent. What a way to go out. 

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Text - r/ProRevenge u/PM_YUR_PIERCINGS • 2y + JOIN Try to take away job? Quit in glory This is the story of my wife getting pro-revenge. At 7 months pregnant, we knew my wife wasn't going to return to work after maternity leave. But, she had planned on working right to the day her water broke. A few months before her due date, there was a re- structuring of the organization, she actually got a promotion and a small raise. But, her new direct manager was at the corporate level, and had never trea

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Text - Over the next few months, as my wife started a very major project, she kept detailed notes of everything, to make sure that there was a smooth transition when she went out on leave. At this same time, her new boss started being excessive with micromanaging. It finally got to the point that the director, we'll call Patrice (because God damnit Patrice!), started slowly pulling responsibilities away from my wife. To us, it looked like she was trying to position my wife's role to be eliminate

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Text - Then there was the transition meeting. She called in Patrice, her co-workers, her leadership, and the vendor that was involved in the project. During that meeting, my wife went through all the project plans to date, with a very specific timeline of the project. This timeline included things like notes from previous meetings of what was stated, validation emails from Patrice, requests for meetings to which Patrice declined or simply no-showed. There was the introduction of the new processe

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Text - My wife told me that after the showing the third example of late delivery due to Patrice's lack of response, or sudden need to include her friends in the project for "feedback", it was apparent to everyone in the room that Patrice was the reason that everything was running behind schedule and over cost. The last slide my wife presented was the last update: the official complaints Patrice had filed with HR, with refuting evidence. My wife told me that Patrice was equally furious and embarr

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Cat Maternity Photoshoot Is The Epitome Of Elegance

Photographer Adrianna Elizabeth has shared some delightful pictures to brighten up the world in these dark times. 

Photos of her gorgeous cat! The images were taken to announce the cats pregnancy, and it’s absolutely lovely. 

With the natural light of golden hour, you can’t help but fall in love! 

Photographer Adrianna Elizabeth has shared some delightful pictures to brighten up the world in these dark times. 

Photos of her gorgeous cat! The images were taken to announce the cats pregnancy, and it’s absolutely lovely. 

With the natural light of golden hour, you can’t help but fall in love! 

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Text - Adrianna Elizabeth Photography and Film ে Monday at 6:52 AM · Someone's expecting!! Yes, I did a pregnancy announcement shoot... - MORE PAWS MORE WHISKERS MORE TO LOVE +10 EXPECTING APRIL 2020

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Balloon - EXPECTING APRIL 2020

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Cat

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Cat

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Nature - EXPECTING APRIL 2020

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Text - MORE PAWS MORE WHISKERS MORE TO LOVE

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Cat

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Nature

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Grass - MORE PAWS MORE WHISKERS MORE TO FLOVE

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Photograph - MORE PAWS MORE WHISKERS MORE TO LOVE

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Cat

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Balloon - EXPECTING APRIL 2020

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Cat

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Photograph - MORE PAWS MORE WHISKERS MORE TO LOVE

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24 Women Share The Dumbest Sh*t A Man Has Said To Them About Sex And Women’s Health

As reproductive rights are being stripped from women in Alabama and Missouri, many women are coming out to discuss their experiences with abortion and reproductive health. After reading this Twitter thread from @brownandbella, we are starting to think that we need to talk not only about the right to choose, but about the state of sexual education in the United States. These astounding shows of ignorance are definitely proof that something needs to change. We might be chuckling at some of these tweets, but reality of it all is pretty frickin’ dark.

As reproductive rights are being stripped from women in Alabama and Missouri, many women are coming out to discuss their experiences with abortion and reproductive health. After reading this Twitter thread from @brownandbella, we are starting to think that we need to talk not only about the right to choose, but about the state of sexual education in the United States. These astounding shows of ignorance are definitely proof that something needs to change. We might be chuckling at some of these tweets, but reality of it all is pretty frickin’ dark.

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New Study Finds Most Premature Births Occur After Fetus Smells Something Delicious Outside

BALTIMORE—Calling the report a “revolutionary breakthrough” in the field of obstetrics, a new study published Monday by the Johns Hopkins School Of Medicine found that most premature births occurred when a fetus smelled something delicious outside. “After analyzing countless patients and the environmental factors…

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Illustration for article titled New Study Finds Most Premature Births Occur After Fetus Smells Something Delicious Outside

BALTIMORE—Calling the report a “revolutionary breakthrough” in the field of obstetrics, a new study published Monday by the Johns Hopkins School Of Medicine found that most premature births occurred when a fetus smelled something delicious outside. “After analyzing countless patients and the environmental factors surrounding them, we found that roughly 75% of preterm labors were initiated by a delicious, sumptuous aroma wafting up the birth canal and into the uterus,” said Dr. Hillary White, M.D., adding that pregnant women after the six-month mark should be particularly careful around smells including long, pillowy trails of steam from a freshly baked pie or the fragrant vapors from a batch of cookies being taken straight out of the oven. “In the majority of cases, once the fetus gets a whiff of a delicious pot roast or a freshly stirred stew, it will instinctively perk its nose up and begin to float along the path of the scent, dragging the umbilical cord and placenta with it. Sadly, after that, 100% of newborns end up exiting the womb, only to end up devastated when they are not allowed to eat solid foods for six more months.” At press time, researchers had published an addendum to the study, which found that the average time in labor could be reduced to just 30 minutes if mothers opted to give birth next to a freshly roasted turkey.

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Pregnant Woman Finally Knows Joy Of What It Feels Like To Be Big Fat Guy

MEMPHIS, TN—Revealing that she had dreamed of this special moment since she was just a little girl, 31-year-old Jessica Drysdale told reporters Wednesday that since becoming pregnant, she finally understood the joy of feeling like a big fat guy. “The happiness I feel every day, waking up like some jolly, 300-pound man…

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MEMPHIS, TN—Revealing that she had dreamed of this special moment since she was just a little girl, 31-year-old Jessica Drysdale told reporters Wednesday that since becoming pregnant, she finally understood the joy of feeling like a big fat guy. “The happiness I feel every day, waking up like some jolly, 300-pound man and rubbing my huge, protruding belly in the mirror, is honestly indescribable,” said the nine-months pregnant Drysdale, adding that while she was scared at first to feel like an obese middle-aged dad, coming home, putting on her stretchy pants, and downing an entire pizza by herself in a La-Z-Boy recliner had exceeded her expectations. “Yes, it’s hard sometimes, because my ankles are swollen, I can’t actually touch my toes, and I sweat in crevices I never even knew I had. But when I get to say things like ‘Woah! My dogs are barking,’ or do a big laugh that makes my whole body jiggle, it’s incredible. And honestly, it’s powerful.” At press time, Drysdale had retracted her statements after she gave birth and doctors informed her that she had gained 70 pounds.

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Grimes’ Pregnancy Announcement Is Bringing The Memes

Singer-songwriter Grimes slyly announced her pregnancy with Elon Musk  (and displayed her nipples) on Instagram and Twitter yesterday evening, and the internet has gone completely wild over the news. The Canadian artist had uploaded two photos of herself: one with nipples, and one without. Both photos have a very subtle fetus photoshopped into her womb. After about an hour of rabid internet speculation, Grimes confirmed her pregnancy in an Instagram comment, referring to pregnancy as wild and feral. The post was later deleted for nudity. 

While the Instagram gods have acted upon their wildly anti-nipple stance, they can’t stop memers from going in on the exceedingly memeable couple. Memers are roasting the twosome gleefully on Twitter, making copious references to space, technology, and, of course, aliens. We’re pretty sure that the Musk x Grimes collaboration will result in 100% human offspring, but the meme-y alternatives and witty Twitter reactions are giving us life. Here are our favorites.

Singer-songwriter Grimes slyly announced her pregnancy with Elon Musk  (and displayed her nipples) on Instagram and Twitter yesterday evening, and the internet has gone completely wild over the news. The Canadian artist had uploaded two photos of herself: one with nipples, and one without. Both photos have a very subtle fetus photoshopped into her womb. After about an hour of rabid internet speculation, Grimes confirmed her pregnancy in an Instagram comment, referring to pregnancy as wild and feral. The post was later deleted for nudity. 

While the Instagram gods have acted upon their wildly anti-nipple stance, they can’t stop memers from going in on the exceedingly memeable couple. Memers are roasting the twosome gleefully on Twitter, making copious references to space, technology, and, of course, aliens. We’re pretty sure that the Musk x Grimes collaboration will result in 100% human offspring, but the meme-y alternatives and witty Twitter reactions are giving us life. Here are our favorites.

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Meh: This Woman Shared ‘Real’ Photos Of Her Post-Pregnancy Body To Start A Conversation About Imperfections, But We’ve Already Seen That A Bunch Of Times

The body positivity movement has done a ton of great work to start dialogues about society’s harmful beauty standards, and it’s amazing when a courageous woman stands up and starts an important discussion about society’s unfair beauty standards. Unfortunately, we’re starting to see the same important discussions…

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The body positivity movement has done a ton of great work to start dialogues about society’s harmful beauty standards, and it’s amazing when a courageous woman stands up and starts an important discussion about society’s unfair beauty standards. Unfortunately, we’re starting to see the same important discussions happening again and again. Case in point: This woman shared real photos of her post-pregnancy body to start a conversation about imperfections, but we’ve already seen that a bunch of times.

Meh. This sort of thing might have been absolutely incredible 10 years ago, but by now it feels sort of stale.

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Earlier this week, Marissa Salazar, a 36-year-old Nashville resident, tweeted out photos of her post-pregnancy body and wrote that it was time we started talking about how women’s bodies don’t always look like the airbrushed supermodels you see in magazines, which was an important, but ultimately repetitive point that’s just not very original in 2020.

It’s completely awesome that Marissa was striving to empower fellow mothers to find beauty in the imperfections of their bodies with these close-up photos of her stretch marks, but the reality is that we’ve seen these types of pictures so many times over that it just isn’t that impressive any more.

Look, it’s totally courageous that she decided to share these pictures, but we just can’t be expected to applaud this like it’s the first post-pregnancy stomach we’ve seen. The stretch mark schtick has been going viral for over a decade, and at this point, it’s just not enough to make us stand up and cheer.

Also, it was definitely a stretch that Marissa accompanied the stretch mark photos with the caption, “Nobody tells you this is what you’re going to look like after you have a baby,” because we’ve actually heard from hundreds of mothers that it’s going to look like that. While it’s amazing that she decided to share photos and talk about how she loves these imperfections because they remind her of the miracle of motherhood, we’re just not going to be interested until we see something new.

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Sorry, Marissa. This is pretty much just another drop in the bucket of mothers talking about their post-pregnancy bodies, and we just couldn’t muster the enthusiasm for something this redundant. Your stretch marks are absolutely beautiful, but until you find a way to get that point across that we haven’t already seen a million times, we’re not going to get too excited. Better luck next time.

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Excited Park Rangers Announce Lincoln Memorial Actually A Girl After Statue Gives Birth To Litter Of Tiny Marble Abraham Lincolns

WASHINGTON—Admitting that they were “shocked but still delighted” by the discovery, rangers with the National Park Service announced Thursday that the Lincoln Memorial has given birth to a litter of tiny marble Abe Lincolns, definitively demonstrating that the statue is, in fact, actually a girl. “We recently noticed…

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WASHINGTON—Admitting that they were “shocked but still delighted” by the discovery, rangers with the National Park Service announced Thursday that the Lincoln Memorial has given birth to a litter of tiny marble Abe Lincolns, definitively demonstrating that the statue is, in fact, actually a girl. “We recently noticed that Lincoln had gained significant weight and was occasionally sick in the mornings, and at first, we thought something was severely wrong,” said assistant park director Benjamin Grove, describing how park rangers had arrived at the memorial to be greeted by the sight of the happy but exhausted statue blissfully nursing a half-dozen newborn Lincolns. “For obvious reasons, it had never occurred to us to determine the gender of the monument, and I suppose we look rather foolish now. But the whole litter is healthy and happy, and we’ll soon be able to adopt them out to other states. Of course, we’re more surprised than anything, but altogether it’s a joy—how can you look at these cuddly little bearded marble buddies and not smile?” At press time, “Abe Lincoln” was leading the baby-naming contest on the park’s website for all six babies.

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Teen Mom: Kitten Edition (Video)

On this episode of teen moms…

Kitten Lady, YouTuber and kitten-lover extraordinaire, is taking care of a kitten…who had a kitten. As she writes in the video description, “Kittens shouldn’t be having kittens, folks.”

She also includes this fact, “Did you know that a kitten can get pregnant as young as 4 months of age? That’s why you should always spay and neuter kittens before they reach 4 months of age–to prevent pregnancy and stop the teen cat mom epidemic!”

We didn’t know — but glad we do now! 

Please spay and neuter your pets! 

On this episode of teen moms…

Kitten Lady, YouTuber and kitten-lover extraordinaire, is taking care of a kitten…who had a kitten. As she writes in the video description, “Kittens shouldn’t be having kittens, folks.”

She also includes this fact, “Did you know that a kitten can get pregnant as young as 4 months of age? That’s why you should always spay and neuter kittens before they reach 4 months of age–to prevent pregnancy and stop the teen cat mom epidemic!”

We didn’t know — but glad we do now! 

Please spay and neuter your pets! 

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A Healthy Assortment Of Memes To Cure Your Ennui

Feeling drained and listless after the seemingly unending holiday madness? Do you not know how to get through life without a glass of champagne glistening in your hand? It’s time to shake off the malaise and step back into reality. You know what helps us do that? The amusing yet slightly monotonous aid of memes. 

Feeling drained and listless after the seemingly unending holiday madness? Do you not know how to get through life without a glass of champagne glistening in your hand? It’s time to shake off the malaise and step back into reality. You know what helps us do that? The amusing yet slightly monotonous aid of memes. 

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Newly Pregnant Woman A Little Too Quick To Remind Everyone She Gets To Have One Glass Of Wine A Week

CORPUS CHRISTI, TX—Confirming no one had raised the subject of drinking, coworkers of newly expectant mother Jennifer Guest reported that after the brand consultant announced her pregnancy to the office Monday, she had been a bit too quick to mention she was still allowed to have a weekly glass of wine. “She had…

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CORPUS CHRISTI, TX—Confirming no one had raised the subject of drinking, coworkers of newly expectant mother Jennifer Guest reported that after the brand consultant announced her pregnancy to the office Monday, she had been a bit too quick to mention she was still allowed to have a weekly glass of wine. “She had barely gotten out that she was having a baby before she was, like, ‘I can still have wine, though!’” said Bridgemeyer Marketing Services secretary Sharon Wilson, recalling how Guest had reiterated several times that it was a normal thing to do while pregnant and had gotten progressively more defensive despite the fact that no one was disagreeing with her. “Before we could even congratulate her, she was going into detail about how it was a great way for pregnant women to wind down at the end of the week, and that it wasn’t like a drink or even two was going to hurt the baby. It got uncomfortable at one point, because she started citing a bunch of studies, complete with all these complicated statistics, and everyone was just kind of nodding in silence. Thankfully, [operations manager] Frank [Searle] said he had read somewhere that red wine was good for your heart, and that took the heat off her for a while.” At press time, attendees at a company happy hour said that while Guest had ordered only one 6-ounce glass of chardonnay that evening, she had been a little too wholehearted in her enjoyment of it.

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Area Woman Will Have To Be Way More Fucking Pregnant Than That If She Wants To Be Offered Subway Seat

NEW YORK—Explaining how she was “barely showing,” local man Kevin Martin told reporters Tuesday that the woman who just got on his subway car will have to be way more fucking pregnant than that if she wants to be offered his seat. “There’s no way I’m standing up and moving for someone who looks like they just got…

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NEW YORK—Explaining how she was “barely showing,” local man Kevin Martin told reporters Tuesday that the woman who just got on his subway car will have to be way more fucking pregnant than that if she wants to be offered his seat. “There’s no way I’m standing up and moving for someone who looks like they just got knocked up yesterday,” said Martin of the woman who was eight months pregnant, adding that if she was expecting someone to surrender the comfort of their chair just because she was having a contraction here and there, she was out of her goddamn mind. “What is that thing? Seven or eight pounds? Yeah, sorry lady, but you’d better be ready to pop if you want me to give up this spot that I pushed my way into the train to get. Unless you’re on your way to the hospital, you gotta stand just like everyone else.” At press time, Martin commented that there was “no way in hell” that he was giving up a seat for a blind man who clearly had two eyes.

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‘At Least Someone’s Getting Pregnant,’ Reports Mother-In-Law Watching News Story About Child Brides

ITHACA, NY—Watching a new story about the legal loopholes that allow underage American girls to be married off to much older men who have impregnated them, local mother-in-law Cindy Dearborne was overheard muttering to herself Friday that at least someone out there was having a baby. “She may be young, but it’s nice that she gets to put her most fertile years to good use,” Dearborne said within earshot of her daughter-in-law, referring to a 14-year-old girl on the TV screen whose parents forced her to marry a 29-year-old man after they learned she was pregnant with his child. “By getting an early start, she’ll have plenty of time to raise a big, happy family. Plus, she’s learning at a young age that life isn’t all about what she wants. That’s an important lesson…Oh, and look at the grandma! She seems so happy. Probably because she knows she’ll actually get to be around to watch her grandkids grow up.” At press time, sources confirmed Dearborne’s daughter-in-law had left the room immediately upon learning the news show would return after the break with a report on the societal effects of women in the workplace.

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Woman Lies About Pregnancy To Guy, He Fact Checks Her With Metadata

This guy narrowly dodged a big bullet of crazy. After having what sounds like a one night stand with this woman, she proceeded to try and lie to him about being pregnant, to get money out of him. He managed to keep his composure, and proceeded to fact check her deceptive BS by analyzing the metadata on the text. From there, the truth came out, and she foolishly tried to apologize her way out of it. He wisely told her he’d be blocking her immediately. 

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Pregnant Woman Kicks Husband Out For Hiding $1500

This angry pregnant woman decided to kick her husband out after she learned he was hiding money from her. His reasoning for hiding the money was that he thought she might want some if she knew about it. For the couple to have dated a few years, and decided to have a baby together, it sounds like they had some serious issues. Maybe time for some couple counseling. 

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