Major Disappointment: J.J. Abrams Has Revealed That Finn And Poe Are Both Gay, But Don’t Really Vibe With Each Other Romantically

Ever since Star Wars: The Force Awakens introduced us to best friends Finn and Poe, there’s been a viral push among fans for movie executives to make the characters gay and have the two of them fall in love on screen. Sadly, some news just dropped that is going to leave these diehard fans heartbroken: J.J. Abrams has…

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Ever since Star Wars: The Force Awakens introduced us to best friends Finn and Poe, there’s been a viral push among fans for movie executives to make the characters gay and have the two of them fall in love on screen. Sadly, some news just dropped that is going to leave these diehard fans heartbroken: J.J. Abrams has revealed that Finn and Poe are both gay, but they don’t really vibe with each other romantically.

This is a major bummer for anyone who wanted these two amazing characters to get together!

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Abrams dropped the bombshell revelation during a Q&A following a Rise Of Skywalker screening yesterday evening. The director told the theater full of crestfallen fans that although both Finn and Poe are both sexually active homosexuals, they will never end up in a sexual relationship because they feel that they’re much better as platonic friends and are honestly not all that attracted to each other. Abrams added that the time Finn and Poe have spent together in close proximity fighting in the Resistance has allowed the two gay men to realize that, though it would certainly be nice to have some intimate companionship to offset the stresses of battling the tyrannical First Order, they simply have zero sexual chemistry with one another and don’t see each other as viable romantic partners.

This is such a disappointment! Finn and Poe get along so well and they’re both gay! It’s maddening that they don’t have any interest in hooking up!

“At Disney, we believe that representation matters, and so I’m proud to announce that we have made both Poe and Finn gay, but you won’t ever see them become lovers because they just simply don’t desire one another in that way, even though they’re both fit, young, attractive men who are undoubtedly juggernauts in the bedroom,” Abrams revealed to a legion of crestfallen fans and reporters. “Although many people on Earth think that Poe is a very sexy man, he’s just not really Finn’s cup of tea, and vice versa. Finn and Poe are both homosexuals, they both have very strong sexual desires for other men, but they’re just not interested in intercourse with one another.”

Abrams also revealed that Finn is generally attracted to older men, usually in their 50s and 60s, and that he would never see Poe as a potential boyfriend because he’s simply too young for him. The director also added that Poe’s voracious sexual appetite would never permit him to commit himself to just one man—or one species, for that matter, considering all the exotic alien studs he encounters—while Finn prefers long-term monogamous relationships, which makes the two X-Wing pilots utterly incompatible. When a fan asked Abrams which gay Star Wars characters Finn and Poe were attracted to, Abrams said that none of them were featured in the film, and that Finn and Poe are the only gay men in any of the movies.

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For Star Wars fans holding out hope that Finn and Poe would hit it off, this has got to be a huge letdown. It’s sad knowing that after the events of Rise Of Skywalker, these two freedom fighters will have sex with men all over the galaxy, but never with each other. So much for wishful thinking!

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Funny Times August 2019 Issue


Funny Times August 2019 Cover Mueller Popular Culture

Cartoons about Clowns . Politicians . Diet . Beauty . Women . Travel . Dogs .  Grandparenting . Monsters . Employment . Toys and more!

With cartoons by: Isabella Bannerman, Clay Bennett, Bizarro, Marc Bilgrey, Harry Bliss, Ruben Bolling, Matt Bors, Martin Bucella, Jon Carter, Jack Compère, Dave Coverly,  J.C. Duffy, Jeff Hobbs, Keith Knight, Peter Kuper, Mary Lawton, Tim Lockley, Scott Masear, Brian McFadden, Steve McGinn, Chris Monroe, P.S. Mueller, Drew Panckeri, Mark Parisi, Rina Piccolo, Stephanie Piro, K.A. Polzin, Hilary Price, Leigh Rubin, Graham Sale, Maria Scrivan, Jim Shoenbill, Barbara Smaller, Jen Sorensen, Mark Stivers, Tom Toles, Tom Tomorrow, Chris Wildt, Phil Witte, Matt Wuerker, Adam Zyglis, Zippy  . . . and lots more!

In This Issue:

Remembering What It’s Like To Be A Kid
By Raymond Lesser

Oh, The Cases Mueller Found!
By Colin MdEnroe

Circus Sale
By Jackie Allison

The Borowitz Report
By Andy Borowitz

Stay Uncomfortable!
By Gretchen Volk

In Life, My Wife Got Shortchanged
By Tim Jones

Mission: Alaska
By Eric Glaberson

Don’t Fence Me In
By Peter McKay

Patient Refuses To Have Appendix Removed
By Chris Hume

The Tell-Tale Solar Robotic Toy
By Janet Periat

Click To Unsubscribe
By Phil Witte

It’s A Super Market
By David Brinn Silly

Work Is A Four Letter Word
By Stacia Friedman

PLUS:

Cartoons about Beauty
Curmudgeon looks at Physical Fitness
Dave Maleckar’s 100 Word Rant
News Of The Weird
Harper’s Index
Cartoons about August
News & Political Cartoons
Cartoons about Monsters

More Funny Stuff …

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