I Didn’t Consent To This Life

Funny meme about not having children, the curse ends with me

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Well Gosh Darn It

Funny meme that about a dad purposefully breaking his kid's toy so that it doesn't make annoying noises anymore Sarcastically Surprised Kirk | Kid: [sobbing] Something happened to my toy, Daddy! It's not making sounds any more! You:

Who could’ve done that?

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C’mon MOM

Funny meme that reads, "When you go to the store with your mom and she sees someone she knows and starts talking to them" above a photo of a guy sleeping in a department store

I’m bored out of my mind here!

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Fifteen Pregnancy Memes For All The Moms-To-Be

Pregnant women deserve way more recognition for the sh*t they have to go through. Seriously, y’all are superheroes or something. Scroll down and browse through the following memes about how horrible pregnancy is, and then click here after the baby is born for some memes about the “joys” of parenting!

1.

Facial expression - Other moms: OMG processed food is so bad for your baby I would NEVER Me on my second bag of Cheetos: imgflip.com

2.

Text - The Salty Mamas @saltymamas Pregnancy has apparently turned me into a person that eats cinnamon raisin bagels. I don't even know who I am anymore and I don't like it. 7:43 AM 15 May 20 Twitter for Android

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Cartoon - ISTHIS.A CONTRACTION? BRAXTON HICKS

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Spider-man - NY PO NOT EATING BECAUSE OF MORNING SICKNESS MORNING SICKNESS BECAUSE I DIDNT EAT

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Cartoon - LETS GET PREGNANT IN 2020! LET'S GET PREGNANT IN 2020! GLOBAL PANDEMIC imgflip.com

6.

Green - ITS JUST PREGNANCY HORMONES, NO NEED TO BE UPSET NO, SOB UNCONTROLLABLY FOR THE NEXT TWENTY MINUTES maflin com

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Cartoon - NOT SURE IF BABY IS KICKING OR IF I HAVE JUST HAVE GAS

8.

Text - Messages Babe Edit Hey babe Hey I have a present for you Cool. What is it? :D You'll see in 9 months ;) Cool so did you like order it overseas? :D in terms of brain cells we have no brair

9.

Photo caption - "WOW! YOU WERE ABLE TO GIVE TWO URINE SAMPLES THIS MORNING!" THAT'S MY SECRET I ALWAYS HAVE TO PEE imgflip.com

10.

Text - WHEN YOU AND YOUR FRIEND ARE PREGNANTAT THESAME TIME IMPERIALBEDROOMS Did we just become best friends? imgflip.com

11.

Cartoon - Bringing a child into the world during global pandemic, massive.unemployment, and civil unrest THIS IS FINE. mgfilip.com

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Cartoon - A stroller A Vista Cruz Bugaboo Turbocharge 4WD High Capacity Smooth Ride 3-in-1 Convertible Baby Transport imgflip.com

13.

Pregnancy test - Now they've invented a pregnancy test with a curved handle, so you don't get pee on your hand? FIRST pregna ID net pregnant D Listen, if you aren't ready to get pee on your hand, you definitely aren't ready for motherhood.

14.

Cartoon - IVE FINALLY FOUND IT... AFTER 15 YEARS THE SCROLL OF TRUTH! Robatatertotcomics NYEHHH Pregnancy is not an excuse to eat all the ice cream you want

15.

Face - No one: My hormones: | said we mad today

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*Leaves Room*

Funny meme featuring Guardians of the Galaxy about relatives making fun of you and you don't want to be around them because of it | My family: OMG you never sit and talk with us! We don't know anything about you! Me: *shares interests* My family:

And this is why…

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Fifteen Times Reluctant Dads Broke Down And Got A Pet Anyway

These dads may have initially not wanted an animal in their home, but anyone who has a heart will eventually see a pet as part of the family. So scroll down for a plethora of adorable pics of dads with their pets, and check out /r/DadsWhoDidNotWantPets for more cute content!

1.

Sitting - r/dadswhodidnotwantpets - Posted by u/grapefruitmaven 5 months ago 3 16.9k My dad: CAN WE RETURN IT??? IF WE KEEP IT, IT CAN'T GO ON THE FURNITURE AND I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. My dad, out loud, mere days later: "Let's move this pillow to give you more room. Are you comfy? Do you want some pets? Let's read together."

2.

Dog - r/dadswhodidnotwantpets · Posted by u/mischkazelenyy 3 months ago 3 24.0k Caught him hugging the giant dog he didn't want, he was also singing the dog his own personal song. OWERE

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Sitting - Q r/dadswhodidnotwantpets •.. "She can sleep in the garage, but there's no way she's allowed inside the house."

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Canidae - r/dadswhodidnotwantpets · Posted by u/Scarlett_fever 2 days ago 5.3k "Absolutely Not" to "Let's take him outside so I can teach him how to plant string beans"

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Adaptation - r/dadswhodidnotwantpets - Posted by u/chibijudoka18 2 days ago 241 Didn't want me to move back in with dogs. Now he's calling for the dog to people watch with him.

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Dog - Q r/dadswhodidnotwantpets My dog just had knee surgery. Here he is with my dad, who "didn't like dogs" before.

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Photography - Q r/dadswhodidnotwantpets now dad gets mad whenever anyone calls him bad dog bc He'S a sEnSiTİVe bReEd

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Cat - r/dadswhodidnotwantpets Posted by u/d_kate_w 2 days ago 3.9k My dad hated my previous cat Goldie because my dad worked away so Goldie wasn't used to him. He's also "dog person" and really wanted a dog. Reluctantly we got Soldier when Goldie passed away. They've been besties ever since.

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Canidae - Q r/dadswhodidnotwantpets "I don't want dogs in this house" Three months later: 1.5k 1 Share

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Cat - r/dadswhodidnotwantpets · Posted by u/Missburr 5 months ago 38.2k Dad: We are not feeding that feral cat. Also Dad: I set up a heated cat house in the backward and put a camera so we can make sure she's home safe every night. backyard 04

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Furniture - Q r/dadswhodidnotwantpets My dad: "We do not need a cat. I do not want a cat. I will not take care of a cat" Also my dad: builds a handmade cat bed with wheels on it

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Joint - Q r/dadswhodidnotwantpets My husband: "I don't want a small dog!" Also my husband:

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Photo caption - Q r/dadswhodidnotwantpets LAND "I don't want more dogs" Now they're taking selfies after doing Yoga. EY PARIS

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Dog - Q r/dadswhodidnotwantpets •.. went from not wanting this rat in his house to "can you take a nice picture of me and my boy?"

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Canidae - Q r/dadswhodidnotwantpets "You better not bring that home!" My dad the things ue love

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Weirdest Things Parents Caught Their Kids Doing

Kids are just chaos. You never know what a kid is apt to say or do. They’re wildly unpredictable, and prone toward spewing absolute, hilarious nonsense. These moments that parents caught their kids doing bizarre things are something else. Wonder what that one kid was talking to in the sink. 

Kids are just chaos. You never know what a kid is apt to say or do. They’re wildly unpredictable, and prone toward spewing absolute, hilarious nonsense. These moments that parents caught their kids doing bizarre things are something else. Wonder what that one kid was talking to in the sink. 

1.

Text - chargedunicornpeach • 16h When my son was about 4 he was playing in his playroom. I was on the couch and heard some sounds behind me (it was just us). So I turn and see my son looking up at the light fixtures and whispering. I ask what hes doing. His response: I'm asking all the lightbulbs in the house to not fall and kill you. Thanks son! He's truly got my back.

2.

Text - Bhavana1234• 17h My son licked my toe. I asked him what he was doing, and he said " time traveling." He was three

3.

Text - taikalainen • 17h Found my kid talking to the hole in the sink when he was 2. Turns out that's where he said god lives. Carry on, ya weirdo. Ex's eldest hoarded cardboard tubes. If asked they were simply for later. The youngest adopted and formed a strong emotional bond with a garlic for about a week.

4.

Text - Goose_Season • 16h When my son was first learning to talk my mom kept saying "Just wait until he learns to say no!" Like, really building up the anticipation. Well, I open my eyes one morning to my beloved child, 3 inches from my face and staring at me. As soon as he sees I'm awake, he loudly and dramatically whispers "NO". I still feel like he was letting me know that whole phase had started

5.

Text - NinaBanina22• 19h My boys share a room. They were about 2 and 7 at the time and I walked in their room and found them rocking on their hands and knees singing "we aaaaaaareeeee the weeeeeeeeeeeeiner doooogs". I have no fucking idea.

6.

Text - StuShepherd • 21h Packing peas from our garden up her nose. This required a trip to the local hospital emergency room, where the doctor (a dad of several young children himself) thought it was hilariously funny. Soon my wife and I were laughing as well.

7.

Text - darkpixie1 • 22h S 2 Awards When my son was about 3 years old, he liked to wash his eyebrows with my facial cleanser. Just the eyebrows. Wet, lather, rinse, repeat. He said it made them nice and soft.

8.

Text - rebekahah • 19h My mom caught me bringing eggs from the kitchen into my room and sitting on them in a blanket nest, hoping they'd hatch. What she didn't catch was that I had been doing this for a while and would put the eggs back into the fridge when they wouldn't hatch after a few days.

9.

Text - KiuDaso • 18h When my daughter was little, old ladies would come over and enthusiastically ask her simple questions. Like "what's your name?" And she would always reply in flat monotone "Birth-day-Cake". Then they'd ask another question like "Oh, well, how old are you?" And she'd say "Birth-day-Cake". They would look over at us with great concern. So annoying.

10.

Text - Text - Gtrinker • 19h Let's see, my daughter was drinking strawberry milk and then spitting it back into the cup so she could drink it again. I had hosed off a tarp and it was drying on the patio, we went outside and she just stooped down and took a drink out of a puddle on the tarp. just today I was in the garage and she came out, instantly grabbed a toothbrush I use to clean car parts and stuck it in her mouth. I don't even know anymore.

11.

Text - Compulsive-Gremlin • 20h I woke up to my five year old spraying windex on the window beside my bed, cleaning it thoroughly, then nodding at me and moving on to cleaning the windows in the next room. I still don't know what the hell was happening.

12.

Text - MotorizedDoucheCanoe • 21h S 1 Award Caught my 2 year old son licking the floor. He seemed really into it.

13.

Text - Text - DobbylsMyHero • 17h Few years ago the "cinnamon challenge" was a thing. Walked in the door to my son with his head under the kitchen faucet gulping and spitting water. He accidentally grabbed the cumin instead of the cinnamon.

14.

Text - Text - LaurenLumos • 19h When my brother-in-law was three he was so obsessed with the toilet plunger they had to buy him his own so he'd stop grabbing the used one. It was his best friend.

15.

Text - Text - RigobertaMenchu • 21h 1 Award I saw my kid, who was 4, in the back yard looking for bugs or worms. He grab something and put it in his mouth. I asked him about a few minutes later. He said he ate a worm. I laughed and asked why. He said he wanted to know what it tasted like. So I asked what did it taste like. He said it tasted like mud. The next day I asked him if he really ate a worm. He replied "Yea" in the most defeated and embaressed way any human could. Ya live, ya learn eh.

16.

Text - Text - djsantadad • 21h 1 Award My 3 year olds first joke was "hey look at my armpit" and she would point at her armpit and laugh. She would do this over and over. They warn you about first steps and first words but first joke? I am a proud dad.

17.

Text - Text - R1Ppaulwalker • 20h Not a parent, but my little sister used to do pretty weird stuff. She used to lay over the side of the couch so her head was upside-down and drool spit down her face until it filled her nose. She said that it would go through her nose back into her mouth like a circle.

18.

Text - Text - Stabfacenotback • 22h Upon hearing that my pre teen daughter tried to "escape" home via her bedroom window, I spoke up to her. I showed her how easy it is to just walk out the front door.

19.

Text - Text - barely-famous • 18h My mother was horrified at the many drawings of coffins floating down rivers I made for her in preschool. She literally cried at the thought a child could do something so morbid. I only drew them because my mom and I watched a magic show on TV a few weeks prior that was so cool to me at the time - the magician locked himself in a coffin and went over a waterfall and came out at the end perfectly unharmed! I didn't get why she was so upset at something so amazing

20.

Text - Text - lightjim • 18h I was the son. When I was about 7 years old I started to develop an interest in ants. So l came up with the idea of having an "ant farm." I got a shovel and took the sod out of my backyard in a circle around 4 ft in diameter. I would dig little holes in this plot to reveal and confirm that there were indeed ants there. Upon discovering the ants I would get the sort of bricks that had holes in them, and plant them in the ground so the ants had a "place to live." I the

21.

Text - Old-Mac-Donald-Trump • 22h My mother caught me licking butter from the box. Still remember the look of absolute horror on her face.

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20 Funny Memes & Tweets That Keep It All In The Family

We complain about our families a lot – from the trope of the dreaded mother-in-law to sibling rivalry. Some of these relationships are as bad or worse than the stereotypes, but a lot of the time we’re just so lucky to be around these people who love us unconditionally. We’re even more grateful for all the hilarity that our funny families provide us with for free.

We complain about our families a lot – from the trope of the dreaded mother-in-law to sibling rivalry. Some of these relationships are as bad or worse than the stereotypes, but a lot of the time we’re just so lucky to be around these people who love us unconditionally. We’re even more grateful for all the hilarity that our funny families provide us with for free.

1.

Text - my mom just came home from having drinks with her friend, and now they're having a sleepover in the guest room while my dad is bringing them a salami/cheese/apple platter

2.

Text - Poppy Smith @_Poppy_Smith I've just witnessed a 4 y/o hide from her mum behind bus seats and then jumped out and gave a junkie a fright by accident to which he screamed "fuck of yah spooky midget" and it's safe to sayl laughed so hard a little pee almost came out

3.

Tree - royse @Roysenotes my sister saw two unaccompanied little children in a trench coat giggling amongst themselves yesterday and i am absolutely howling

4.

Product - Juliet @uglyshinigami my parents house is chaotic COME BACK WITH A WARRANT Crack Cocane BUTTER

5.

Text - Troy Johnson @troyjohnson Follow Marriage is mostly about knowing which hand towels you can use and which ones are for the better people who visit your wife's home. 12:45 AM - 29 May 2015 t1,400 2,464

6.

Text - Benjamin | בנימן טבלוב @bentev28 My 4 year old has recently taken up cursing. Yesterday he referred to bedtime as a "fucking crisis."

7.

Text - thebatteur: once in kindergarten a girl asked to write "super girl" on her arm since i was the only kid who could write so i wrote "shit" on her arm and i hid under the table for like 30 minutes then the teacher found me and yelled at me then called my parents and my dad laughed so hard he cried

8.

People - A guy I know from work took his sons to Hooters for the first time and captured this

9.

Text - Oops!... Dad It Again @NewDadNotes Wife: [reading Wikipedia out loud] contrary to popular belief, the female black widow spider does not always murder and eat her mate. If she has recently been fed, the male is often allowed to live. Me: [frantically boiling spaghetti water].

10.

Text - @lexie_roessler my parents invited all their friends & family to a costume party then when people got there they found out it was actually their wedding

11.

Text - MALIA i cant drive 2007 @prophethusband shout out to my mom. im sorry i rolled my eyes when u were confused by pop culture. i get it now. i have no idea who the fuck bebe rexha or lil tay is. i never really found out about the laurel vs yanny thing. im confused and strangely angry and i wanna have a sit. 5/21/18, 2:55 PM

12.

Photo caption - I can't unsee " Captain Tiny Arm" and his baby sidekick "Mega Hand"

13.

Text - Mike Vanlieshout @LCMikeVan Took my 6 year old to a classmate's birthday party today. He was the only other kid there. His parents than ked me for bringing him & said he was the only one their son wanted to invite because my son's the only one in school who's nice to him. Teach your kids to not be assholes. 6:06 PM 3/9/19 Twitter for iPhone

14.

Text - tastefullyoffensive Mason Cross @MasonCrossBooks My daughter actually submitted this feedback at school. Not sure if I should ground her or buy her ice cream... Things my teacher(s) can do better Nak we collelive unsdt sk sair an ep 40 G Conveatinns wac ccime A "Not use collective punishment as it is not fair on the many people who did nothing and under the 1949 Geneva Conventions it is a war crime. engineer-pearlo Wait it's a fucking WAR CRIME?!?! 1 mean that might not be 100% accurate b

15.

Text - Octopus/Caveman @OctopusCaveman My 5 year old son just asked "what if we put a slice of turkey in the DVD player and it played a movie about the turkey's whole life" and none of the parenting books I've read have prepared me for this question. 8/26/18, 7:56 AM

16.

Text - Magenta Prex @geekymagenta If you are buying gender specific color clothing for an infant plz remember: Blue spellcaster Green druid Red warrior Yellow cleric

17.

Text - aryastakres: quixoticideals: I TOLD MY DAD TO CHILL AND HE SAID "I AM CHILL" AND I SAID "I THOUGHT U WERE DAD" IDAD JOKED MY DAD I AM THE REVOLUTION hello revolution im dad

18.

Text - Sara Connors @sara_connors my dad rates the complexity of a shopping list by how many phone calls home he thinks it will take. parents are hosting a dinner party tonight and he looks at the list my mom gave him and says "woah this is a 5-caller for sure"

19.

Text - Kayla Whaley @PunkinOnWheels There's a man in Starbucks holding a bound stack of papers like you print at Office Depot, and he's proudly and loudly telling the cOuple near him that he's reading his daughter's thesis. "She just graduated with a Master's degree. Historical preservation!" It's so cute. 6/12/18, 8:56 AM 822 Retweets 12.9K Likes

20.

Junk food - EXIT My dad after realizing he ate half his sandwich with the wrapper on.

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Parenting Tidbits For The Tired & Out Of Patience

Parenting is exhausting when things are totally normal. The whining, the tears, the screaming, the tantrums. Parenting during a pandemic when you can’t even send your minions to school for a break? Let’s be real: it’s the pits. These memes might help you laugh at the ordeal. We’re in this together. 

Parenting is exhausting when things are totally normal. The whining, the tears, the screaming, the tantrums. Parenting during a pandemic when you can’t even send your minions to school for a break? Let’s be real: it’s the pits. These memes might help you laugh at the ordeal. We’re in this together. 

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Parenting Tweets About Homeschooling During Quarantine

Parents are expressing their moments of frustration and amusement that are popping up as they go about homeschooling their kids, during this time of quarantine. With the schools shutting down everywhere due to the Coronavirus, the appreciation for teachers and what they provide to kids has absolutely skyrocketed. Teaching restless students, and getting them to stay on task, is no easy job. 

Parents are expressing their moments of frustration and amusement that are popping up as they go about homeschooling their kids, during this time of quarantine. With the schools shutting down everywhere due to the Coronavirus, the appreciation for teachers and what they provide to kids has absolutely skyrocketed. Teaching restless students, and getting them to stay on task, is no easy job. 

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14 Kid Pics And Memes That’ll Make You Want to Rethink Procreation

Starting a family can be a wonderful thing for a lot of people – kids can bring you a type of love that you’ve never known before. However, parenting does inevitably come with its fair share of struggles that aren’t widely publicized, and we think these memes and posts shine some light on that!

Starting a family can be a wonderful thing for a lot of people – kids can bring you a type of love that you’ve never known before. However, parenting does inevitably come with its fair share of struggles that aren’t widely publicized, and we think these memes and posts shine some light on that!

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Depressing Memes About Bad Parents

We can confidently say that most families aren’t like The Brady Bunch. This goes for both the parental units and their children. And while we know some kids have issues with authority, sometimes the responsibility for a crappy family dynamic or lack of support lies with the parent. There’s a ton of proof at the r/insaneparents subreddit. The community shares tales of terrible parenting, as well as memes that combine personal narrative with relatable themes. Most of these use meme formats that are very familiar. Think Spongebob Memes and Drake memes. While they’re pretty depressing, it’s important to remember that if you’re having a tough time with family, you’re definitely not alone. 

We can confidently say that most families aren’t like The Brady Bunch. This goes for both the parental units and their children. And while we know some kids have issues with authority, sometimes the responsibility for a crappy family dynamic or lack of support lies with the parent. There’s a ton of proof at the r/insaneparents subreddit. The community shares tales of terrible parenting, as well as memes that combine personal narrative with relatable themes. Most of these use meme formats that are very familiar. Think Spongebob Memes and Drake memes. While they’re pretty depressing, it’s important to remember that if you’re having a tough time with family, you’re definitely not alone. 

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Depressed Mom Can’t Even Enjoy Adult Son’s New Haircut

TOLEDO, OH—Provoking widespread familial concern with her uncharacteristically gloomy outlook, depressed mother Linda Cartwright reportedly displayed a complete inability Monday to enjoy her adult son’s new haircut. “I knew something was wrong when she didn’t say anything about how grown-up and neat I look,” said Nick…

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Illustration for article titled Depressed Mom Can’t Even Enjoy Adult Son’s New Haircut

TOLEDO, OH—Provoking widespread familial concern with her uncharacteristically gloomy outlook, depressed mother Linda Cartwright reportedly displayed a complete inability Monday to enjoy her adult son’s new haircut. “I knew something was wrong when she didn’t say anything about how grown-up and neat I look,” said Nick Cartwright, 25, after sending his mother a photo of his new high-fade and receiving only an apathetic thumbs-up emoji in response. “Mom pestered me for weeks about how I was getting shaggy. For her to be completely unfazed by how short I got it on the sides makes it pretty clear she’s struggling. Normally, she makes a huge deal about how I’m such a handsome young man, posting pictures of me on Facebook so all her friends can see how nice my hair is, but right now, it seems she’s deriving no pleasure from things she used to enjoy. She didn’t even seem to care that I finally shaved my beard.” At press time, Cartwright had called for a welfare check on his mother upon learning she had expressed indifference to seeing him wear a button-down shirt she had picked out for him.

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Concerned Baby Starting To Worry Lethargic, Distant Mom Not Suffering From Postpartum Depression At All

SAN CARLOS, CA—Growing gradually more concerned that this was just his mother’s normal state, local infant Lucas Garrison reportedly had started to worry Monday that his lethargic, distant mom wasn’t suffering from postpartum depression at all. “Huh, that’s weird—I thought for sure that all the mood swings, insomnia,…

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SAN CARLOS, CA—Growing gradually more concerned that this was just his mother’s normal state, local infant Lucas Garrison reportedly had started to worry Monday that his lethargic, distant mom wasn’t suffering from postpartum depression at all. “Huh, that’s weird—I thought for sure that all the mood swings, insomnia, and crying would go away, but I guess this is somehow her actual personality,” said the nervous 6-month-old, adding that while he was relieved his mother wasn’t suffering from a debilitating mental illness, he was less thrilled to learn the distant look in her eyes and total inability to bond with him would actually be permanent. “At first, I told myself, okay, these baby blues will go away in no time. But six months later, I can confidently say that there’s no treatment for this at all—she just hates me, herself, and everyone around her.” At press time, Garrison’s mother told reporters she was growing more and more concerned that her crying, screaming child wasn’t just doing that because he was an infant.

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Heartwarming: When This Boy Came Out To His Parents, They Told Him They Couldn’t Care Less Who He Loves As Long As He Helps Them Clean Out The Fucking Garage

Coming out can be an incredibly cathartic moment in a person’s life, but worries about how one’s loved ones might respond to the news can also make it a nerve-wracking and frightening experience. Fortunately, 15-year-old Jacob Wasser of Columbus, OH received an extremely heartwarming reaction after he came out to his…

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Coming out can be an incredibly cathartic moment in a person’s life, but worries about how one’s loved ones might respond to the news can also make it a nerve-wracking and frightening experience. Fortunately, 15-year-old Jacob Wasser of Columbus, OH received an extremely heartwarming reaction after he came out to his family: When Jacob told his parents he was gay, they told him they couldn’t care less who he loves as long as he helps them clean out the fucking garage.

Absolutely beautiful. It is beyond wonderful to see two parents so warmly accept their son for who he is provided that he doesn’t just fucking stand there and watch them clean out the whole damn garage by themselves!

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Jacob spent the past several months thinking about coming out to his family, and he finally worked up the courage for the big moment while his parents were gutting the garage yesterday afternoon. As soon as he broke the news, Jacob realized that he had wasted his time fearing a negative reaction, because his mom immediately replied, “Listen: We don’t give a flying fuck who you’re attracted to, we just need you to organize the fucking gardening tools,” without even bothering to look up from the box of old mail she was going through.

Jacob then went on to tell his parents that he had been really nervous about what they were going to think of him once he came out, and he received another equally heartwarming response: His father took him aside and explained that he and Jacob’s mom would always love Jacob for who he is, and that the only reason they might ever stop loving him would be if he didn’t shut his trap and start sorting his childhood toys into “throw out, “give away, and “keep” piles within the next 10 goddamn seconds.

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So heartwarming! It must not have been easy for Jacob to be so vulnerable, but he really could not have received a better reaction than when his dad stopped scrubbing the garage floor for a moment to say, “Do you have a boyfriend? Because I could definitely use another set of hands trying to get out these oil stains, and you’re not offering much fucking help right now.”

What an incredible story of love and understanding. This truly gives us a renewed faith in humanity! Hopefully one day we’ll live in a world where everyone who comes out can hear the beautiful message that it doesn’t matter what their sexual orientation is so long they start helping their father throw out the old paint cans right this fucking instant.

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Advice From Parents That Was Total BS

Someone on AskReddit asked for people to describe those tidbits of advice that they received from parents that ended up being total BS. While the advice from some of these parents might have been crafted with good (but deceptive…) intentions, the kids definitely went on to grow up into adults that saw it for what it was. Just a load of BS!

Someone on AskReddit asked for people to describe those tidbits of advice that they received from parents that ended up being total BS. While the advice from some of these parents might have been crafted with good (but deceptive…) intentions, the kids definitely went on to grow up into adults that saw it for what it was. Just a load of BS!

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Area Dad Sure Knows A Lot About Local Weather Woman

ROCKFORD, IL—Casually rattling off details about her personal life and professional history, household sources confirmed Tuesday that area dad Shawn Garcia seems to know quite a bit about local television meteorologist Susanne Lepucki. “He keeps going on about how she wore that same red blouse last week, and I swear…

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ROCKFORD, IL—Casually rattling off details about her personal life and professional history, household sources confirmed Tuesday that area dad Shawn Garcia seems to know quite a bit about local television meteorologist Susanne Lepucki. “He keeps going on about how she wore that same red blouse last week, and I swear one time I heard him use her middle name,” said Garcia’s 16-year-old son, Malcolm, clarifying that his father usually changes the channel after Lepucki finishes her weather report on Rockford CBS affiliate WIFR. “He doesn’t really know any of the other anchors, but he definitely knows Susanne. He’s followed her from the 5 o’clock spot to the 6 o’clock. Apparently, she almost changed networks over a contract dispute last year, but it’s been resolved now.” At press time, the elder Garcia asked his son if he had considered applying to Northern Illinois University, noting that Susanne Lepucki earned her master of science degree over there and they evidently have some pretty good programs.

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People’s Experiences With Doomsday Prepper Parents

People are sharing their experiences with growing up with doomsday prepper parents, or people they’ve crossed paths with that were just convinced that the apocalypse was looming heavy around the corner. Can’t imagine how that could affect a child’s outlook on life, if they’re growing up around stockpiles of food and other life essentials like the world was about to cave in on itself at any moment. Definitely a stressful environment. 

People are sharing their experiences with growing up with doomsday prepper parents, or people they’ve crossed paths with that were just convinced that the apocalypse was looming heavy around the corner. Can’t imagine how that could affect a child’s outlook on life, if they’re growing up around stockpiles of food and other life essentials like the world was about to cave in on itself at any moment. Definitely a stressful environment. 

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Funny Times February 2020 Issue

Cartoons about the 2019 Year In Review . Health . Valentine’s Day . Marriage . Pets . Music . Winter . Sleep . Fashion and more! Buy This Issue With cartoons by: Hilary Allison, Clay Bennett, Bizarro, Harry Bliss, Ruben Bolling, Matt Bors, Bill Bramhall, Jon Carter, Dave Coverly, George Danby, J.C. Duffy, Samuel Ferri, Jeff Hobbs, John Jonik, John Kastner, …[ Read More ]

Cartoons about the 2019 Year In Review . Health . Valentine’s Day . Marriage . Pets . Music . Winter . Sleep . Fashion and more!

With cartoons by: Hilary Allison, Clay Bennett, Bizarro, Harry Bliss, Ruben Bolling, Matt Bors, Bill Bramhall, Jon Carter, Dave Coverly, George Danby, J.C. Duffy, Samuel Ferri, Jeff Hobbs, John Jonik, John Kastner, Sara Lautman, Mary Lawton, Liniers, Sehvilla Mann, Bill Mannetti, Scott Masear, Brian McFadden, Steve McGinn, Chris Monroe, P.S. Mueller, Drew Panckeri, Mark Parisi, Joel Pett, Rina Piccolo, Hilary Price, Jim Shoenbill, Andy Singer, Anne Skove, Jen Sorensen, Mark Stivers, Ward Sutton, Tom Toles, Tom Tomorrow,  Brad Veley, Matt Wuerker, Mark Ziemann, Zippy  . . .  and lots more!

What We Need
By Raymond Lesser

2019 Year In Review: Week, That Was Something
By Dave Barry

Planet Proctor
By Phil Proctor

Spring Onions
By Ira Bloom

The Borowitz Report
By Andy Borowitz

Don’t Trust Anyone Over (Or Under) 30
By Lenore Skenazy

The Times They Are A-Changin’
By Stacia Friedman

Insomnia
By Larry Arnstein

Hell Without A Handbasket
By Laura Boggs

Martha For Mortals And Other Half-Baked Attempts
By Joanie Mickle

PLUS:

Cartoons about Valentine’s Day
Curmudgeon on Congress
Cartoons about Winter
Dave Maleckar’s 100 Word Rant
News Of The Weird
Harper’s Index
Cartoons about Pets
News & Political Cartoons

More Funny Stuff …

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Redditors Share Weird Household Rules They Grew Up With

Growing up I thought that my parents were harsh. They rarely let me attend sleepovers, I never went to sleep away camp with the cool kids, and anything television beyond PBSwas an absolute no-no. I’ve walked around with a chip on my sheltered shoulder ever since. Until yesterday, when I saw an enlightening thread on r/AskReddit.

Reddit user u/ctsom took to the subreddit and asked fellow redditorsto describe the weird rules they grew up with as kids. The customs and boundaries range from extremely strict to extremely weird. And like me, you may end up feeling like your upbringing was relatively normal.

Growing up I thought that my parents were harsh. They rarely let me attend sleepovers, I never went to sleep away camp with the cool kids, and anything television beyond PBSwas an absolute no-no. I’ve walked around with a chip on my sheltered shoulder ever since. Until yesterday, when I saw an enlightening thread on r/AskReddit.

Reddit user u/ctsom took to the subreddit and asked fellow redditorsto describe the weird rules they grew up with as kids. The customs and boundaries range from extremely strict to extremely weird. And like me, you may end up feeling like your upbringing was relatively normal.

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Roundup Of Posts About Tiny Humans For The Tired Procreators

To all the parents out there: we get you. You’re tired and you just need a little salvation. We’ve got some memes that’ll help you feel understood, at least for a few minutes. So tell your spouse to watch the kiddos for a few minutes and go get some much-deserved peace and quiet, dammit.

To all the parents out there: we get you. You’re tired and you just need a little salvation. We’ve got some memes that’ll help you feel understood, at least for a few minutes. So tell your spouse to watch the kiddos for a few minutes and go get some much-deserved peace and quiet, dammit.

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Parenting Memes & Tweets For The Brave And The Exhausted

Parenting ain’t easy. Between the oppressive costs of healthcare and childcare, and the effect that raising kids has on one’s sanity, sometimes it feels like a losing game. And then your kid does something magical, cute, or hilarious, and it all seems worth it. These highs and lows are all well-represented in this highly relatable batch of memes for every kind of parent.

Parenting ain’t easy. Between the oppressive costs of healthcare and childcare, and the effect that raising kids has on one’s sanity, sometimes it feels like a losing game. And then your kid does something magical, cute, or hilarious, and it all seems worth it. These highs and lows are all well-represented in this highly relatable batch of memes for every kind of parent.

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Devastated Family Struggling To Get Through First Christmas Since Dad Returned

TUSCALOOSA, AL—Admitting they were sorting through their heartbreak weeks after the tragedy, members of Sarpino family struggled to get through their first Christmas since their father returned, sources confirmed Tuesday. “Honestly, we’ve tried to just soldier through and enjoy what we can of baking cookies and…

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TUSCALOOSA, AL—Admitting they were sorting through their heartbreak weeks after the tragedy, members of Sarpino family struggled to get through their first Christmas since their father returned, sources confirmed Tuesday. “Honestly, we’ve tried to just soldier through and enjoy what we can of baking cookies and putting on some Christmas music, but it’s hard to ignore how hollow all that is when we know that Howard is really here again,” said a tearful Claire Sarpino, 36, stressing that her husband’s presence was especially painful around this time of year, when there were so many festive symbols of the many happy memories the family had shared before his sudden and devastating reappearance. “God, last year’s Christmas was so relaxed and carefree. We took it for granted that those times without him would last forever. But now everywhere I look—from the shouting in the TV room to the six-pack in the fridge—I see reminders looming in the background. Frankly, I don’t know if we’ll ever put the pieces back together again.” At press time, Sarpino added that she was sure the family would get used to her husband being there eventually, but that their life would never quite feel the same.

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Dad Posts Worthy Of A Good Old-Fashioned Eye-Roll

We gotta hand it to the dads out there, who try so hard to make us laugh with terrible jokes. They may be incredibly groan-worthy, but at least we know they mean well! Now here are some memes and posts you can share with your dad, or anyone who appreciates a good dad joke.

We gotta hand it to the dads out there, who try so hard to make us laugh with terrible jokes. They may be incredibly groan-worthy, but at least we know they mean well! Now here are some memes and posts you can share with your dad, or anyone who appreciates a good dad joke.

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Pathetic Man Cries When He’s Upset Rather Than Screaming At 3-Year-Old Son To Shut The Fuck Up

BILOXI, AL—Stressing that he was both a pitiful excuse for masculinity and an utterly spineless little worm, reports confirmed Monday that Kevin Chinowski was a pathetic man who cries when upset rather than simply screaming at his 3-year-old son to shut the fuck up. “Jesus, what kind of shriveled husk of manhood lets…

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BILOXI, AL—Stressing that he was both a pitiful excuse for masculinity and an utterly spineless little worm, reports confirmed Monday that Kevin Chinowski was a pathetic man who cries when upset rather than simply screaming at his 3-year-old son to shut the fuck up. “Jesus, what kind of shriveled husk of manhood lets himself tear up when he’s sad instead of yelling at his kid to knock it the hell off?” said sources close to Chinowski, adding that, when overwhelmed, the timid weakling was more likely to retreat to his bedroom and muffle his sobs in a pillow than lash out at his wife and son before smashing his plate into the trash in an impressive display of dominance. “It’s the sort of parenting that will just make his son grow up into another castrated wuss like him. Pretty soon, this kid is going to honestly believe that screaming obscenities at the top of your lungs and punching the wall until your knuckles are bloody isn’t the best way to deal with your anger. It’s a vicious goddamn cycle.” At press time, the effete male was spotted backing down to another father’s request that they let the children have a playdate at his house rather than beating the fellow parent to a pulp on the sidewalk to regain his status as an alpha male.

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Teachers Share Their Worst Parent-Teacher Conferences

The life of a teacher is pretty wild. Teachers can see some incredibly dumb kids. Sometimes a good teacher will do a kid a solid. Teaching can be funny and full of chaos. Sometimes parents have a very limited idea of what a teacher’s job actually is, and take any criticism of their child personally. These are some of those times parent-teacher conferences were a little wild.

The life of a teacher is pretty wild. Teachers can see some incredibly dumb kids. Sometimes a good teacher will do a kid a solid. Teaching can be funny and full of chaos. Sometimes parents have a very limited idea of what a teacher’s job actually is, and take any criticism of their child personally. These are some of those times parent-teacher conferences were a little wild.

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Relatable Memes For All The Exhausted Parents

These memes are for the tired. The haggard. The hungry, and the overworked. The parents who might smell like spit-up, and the parents who wake up with goldfish crumbs in weird crevices. These memes are for anyone who’s had to say no to a cranky kid, and for anyone raising a picky eater. We salute you, and hope these memes make you feel seen.

These memes are for the tired. The haggard. The hungry, and the overworked. The parents who might smell like spit-up, and the parents who wake up with goldfish crumbs in weird crevices. These memes are for anyone who’s had to say no to a cranky kid, and for anyone raising a picky eater. We salute you, and hope these memes make you feel seen.

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Fourteen Annoying Memes About Babies On Airplanes

Unless you’re some sort of psycho, seeing a baby board an airplane (or any sort of public transit for that matter) evokes a sinking feeling in most of us. It’s kind of crapshoot how it’ll behave, after all. Babies are certainly cute, but hearing them scream and cry for several hours straight is pretty much the worst experience ever. How inconsiderate of them.

Unless you’re some sort of psycho, seeing a baby board an airplane (or any sort of public transit for that matter) evokes a sinking feeling in most of us. It’s kind of crapshoot how it’ll behave, after all. Babies are certainly cute, but hearing them scream and cry for several hours straight is pretty much the worst experience ever. How inconsiderate of them.

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Mother Confident That Adult Son’s Cycle Of Emotional Terrorism Will Calm Down Once He Finds The Right Girl

HOUSTON—Writing off the behavior as common for his age, local mother Deenah Young told sources Thursday she was confident her 26-year-old son Devin’s psychological abuse of all the women he had ever dated was simply a phase that would end when he met the right girl. “I know it’s a little silly for Dev to still be…

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HOUSTON—Writing off the behavior as common for his age, local mother Deenah Young told sources Thursday she was confident her 26-year-old son Devin’s psychological abuse of all the women he had ever dated was simply a phase that would end when he met the right girl. “I know it’s a little silly for Dev to still be leveraging sociopathic levels of misogyny toward every member of the female gender, but he’s just waiting for that special someone,” said Young, who expressed complete assurance that once he really fell in love, her son would cease the decades-long pattern in which he has engaged in the emotional manipulation, vicious ridicule, and ultimate abandonment of every woman he has dated. “Sometimes the right one has to come along before a boy will stop barraging girlfriends with constant comments about their weight, or hang up those youthful desires to isolate a woman from her friends and family in order to take advantage of her. Devin’s having his fun, but mark my words, before he hits 30, he’ll get tired and settle down. Then he won’t spend all his time maliciously destroying his partner’s confidence just to prop up his own anymore. And who knows? Maybe there’s a girl out there who will find his constant oscillation between manipulative isolation and suffocating neediness endearing.” Reports later confirmed Young couldn’t help but chuckle and shake her head at her son’s hijinks after hearing yet another girlfriend had filed a restraining order against him.

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Mom Scolds Child For Pointing At Homeless Man Instead Of Ignoring His Very Existence

ARCATA, CA—Yanking the girl into the grocery store to avoid further embarrassment, local mom Tara Cochran scolded her daughter Wednesday for pointing at a homeless man instead of ignoring his very existence. “Sophia, no. We do not acknowledge a homeless person’s humanity, it’s impolite,” said Cochran, quietly…

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ARCATA, CA—Yanking the girl into the grocery store to avoid further embarrassment, local mom Tara Cochran scolded her daughter Wednesday for pointing at a homeless man instead of ignoring his very existence. “Sophia, no. We do not acknowledge a homeless person’s humanity, it’s impolite,” said Cochran, quietly admonishing her daughter’s rudeness while avoiding eye contact with the man sitting on a dirty piece of cardboard begging for change. “You’re going to make him feel bad instead of making him feel invisible. We need to be respectful of these people by treating them as objects blocking the sidewalk. If they talk to you first, then it’s ok to shake your head and murmur “Sorry, can’t help,” but otherwise, leave them in destitute peace. Yes, even if you have some change, you shouldn’t go giving it to them because that’s wrong.” Cochran went on to explain to her daughter why it’s important to tell the Salvation Army bell-ringer that you just donated, even if you didn’t.

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Mother Eventually Accepts Her Trans Child, Restoring Our Faith In Humanity

There are those times when you feel so frustrated talking to someone that you just want to lash out and not give them any more of your time. This story, however, demonstrates that sometimes kindness and patience is the only way to convince them of your point of view. 

For this mother of a transgender child, it’s clear that all she needed was to be put in her child’s shoes. Now, who’s cutting onions in here?

There are those times when you feel so frustrated talking to someone that you just want to lash out and not give them any more of your time. This story, however, demonstrates that sometimes kindness and patience is the only way to convince them of your point of view. 

For this mother of a transgender child, it’s clear that all she needed was to be put in her child’s shoes. Now, who’s cutting onions in here?

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‘Is There A Doctor On Board’ Memes Are Self-Deprecating Twitter Gold

A lot of funny crap happened over Thanksgiving break, but our favorite Twitter meme has got to have been the “Is there a doctor on board” joke format. The self-deprecating snowclone, which mostly plays on a parents’ disappointment in their child’s career choice, is perfect for an emotionally charged and often family-filled holiday season.  It’s a great way to laugh at our feelings of inadequacy and parental pressure – which definitely beats crying about it all. 

A lot of funny crap happened over Thanksgiving break, but our favorite Twitter meme has got to have been the “Is there a doctor on board” joke format. The self-deprecating snowclone, which mostly plays on a parents’ disappointment in their child’s career choice, is perfect for an emotionally charged and often family-filled holiday season.  It’s a great way to laugh at our feelings of inadequacy and parental pressure – which definitely beats crying about it all. 

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Eighteen Dad Memes Just In Time For The Holiday Season

The holiday season is here, and you know what that means! The whole family gets together to eat some delicious food, exchange gifts and, of course, listen to more dad jokes than anyone could ever want or need. So here are 18 memes to celebrate the dad in your life!

The holiday season is here, and you know what that means! The whole family gets together to eat some delicious food, exchange gifts and, of course, listen to more dad jokes than anyone could ever want or need. So here are 18 memes to celebrate the dad in your life!

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Amusing & Cringey Tales Of Embarrassing Parents

When I was a permanently annoyed teenager, my mother would say it’s her right to embarrass me. Why? Because she popped me and and subsequently raised me. I did not agree with this logic and loathed the way she insisted speaking Spanish to anyone she assumed spoke the language. And as I sat fuming, at least I had the comfort of knowing that I was not alone: it’s a proven fact that ALL parents are embarrassing. 

Twitter user @mrnickharvey has more than backed this up with an incredibly entertaining Twitter thread asking people to share their most embarrassing parental moments. The tales are pure gold, and some of the stories actually make us want to hang out with Mom and Pops! 

When I was a permanently annoyed teenager, my mother would say it’s her right to embarrass me. Why? Because she popped me and and subsequently raised me. I did not agree with this logic and loathed the way she insisted speaking Spanish to anyone she assumed spoke the language. And as I sat fuming, at least I had the comfort of knowing that I was not alone: it’s a proven fact that ALL parents are embarrassing. 

Twitter user @mrnickharvey has more than backed this up with an incredibly entertaining Twitter thread asking people to share their most embarrassing parental moments. The tales are pure gold, and some of the stories actually make us want to hang out with Mom and Pops! 

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Parenting Memes For The Tired Goblin-Wranglers

Anyone with kids will understand these parenting memes on a deep, spiritual level. We get you – raising offspring has to be one of the hardest jobs in the world and you get virtually no gratitude for it. 

Is it all worth it? We have no idea, we were hoping you would…

Anyone with kids will understand these parenting memes on a deep, spiritual level. We get you – raising offspring has to be one of the hardest jobs in the world and you get virtually no gratitude for it. 

Is it all worth it? We have no idea, we were hoping you would…

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Mom Casually Rattles Off The Names, Ages Of Alec Baldwin’s Children

PHILADELPHIA—Referring to the Emmy-winning actor as “a real family man,” mother of three Janet Jeune casually rattled off the names and ages of Alec Baldwin’s children during the course of mundane conversation Monday. “His eldest daughter, Ireland, from his first marriage with that one actress, just turned 24,” Jeune…

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PHILADELPHIA—Referring to the Emmy-winning actor as “a real family man,” mother of three Janet Jeune casually rattled off the names and ages of Alec Baldwin’s children during the course of mundane conversation Monday. “His eldest daughter, Ireland, from his first marriage with that one actress, just turned 24,” Jeune said wholly unprompted and unprovoked while watching a broadcast of It’s Complicated. “His sons are 1, 3, and 4 years old. Rafael is probably about to start kindergarten soon. Oh, and he has a 6-year-old daughter with his second wife.” Jeune’s sons confirmed that their mother continued to recall rumors about Ireland’s dating life long after her children had left the room.

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Recently Divorced Dad Waiting For Right Time To Introduce Children To Woman He Hooked Up With Last Night

TACOMA, WA—Fully aware that the issue could cause tension and conflict for his family, recently divorced dad Frank Harrison confirmed Friday that he was waiting for the right time to introduce his children to the woman he hooked up with last night. “The divorce was just finalized last week, and they tell you not to…

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TACOMA, WA—Fully aware that the issue could cause tension and conflict for his family, recently divorced dad Frank Harrison confirmed Friday that he was waiting for the right time to introduce his children to the woman he hooked up with last night. “The divorce was just finalized last week, and they tell you not to rush into anything, so that’s why I’m thinking 10 or 11 a.m. would be okay,” said Harrison, noting that while there’s no perfect time to find out your father banged a complete stranger, holding off until after Aiden and Rebecca had eaten breakfast could help ease the news. “We’ve been together for almost 10 hours at this point, so I feel like waiting any longer could make things weird. You only get to make a first impression once, and I want to make sure they hit it off. I was pretty drunk last night, but from what I can remember, she seems like a really great lady.” At press time, Harrison breathed a sigh of relief after discovering the woman had snuck out in the middle of the night.

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Frustrating Memes For Anyone Raising A Small Gremlin

To anyone parenting a toddler or otherwise young child – it will get better, just stick with it. Probably. Actually we don’t know because we don’t have kids. So godspeed to you and we hope that it does in fact get better with age. On the bright side, you can look forward to the day your kids move out of the house and you can get some goddamn peace and quiet, right?

To anyone parenting a toddler or otherwise young child – it will get better, just stick with it. Probably. Actually we don’t know because we don’t have kids. So godspeed to you and we hope that it does in fact get better with age. On the bright side, you can look forward to the day your kids move out of the house and you can get some goddamn peace and quiet, right?

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Dude Creates Facebook Cringe Tsunami After Marrying His Daughter

Nebraskan Travis F. made some social media waves earlier this month after allegedly marrying his own daughter. Travis, who was recently released from a forgery-related jail sentence, posted a celebratory marriage announcement on Facebook. There was just one problem – the woman he had married is a woman he had raised since she was a child. 

Facebook lurkers exploded with horror and many profanities, even investigating the couple and sharing photos that support the argument that Samantha is, in fact, Travis’ daughter. Samantha has since changed her last name on the site, but we’ve found comments from just a few months ago where she refers to him as “dad.” There’s a lot to process here, and if you want to indulge in some more comment schadenfreude, you can visit his page to read some of the loco comments. 

Nebraskan Travis F. made some social media waves earlier this month after allegedly marrying his own daughter. Travis, who was recently released from a forgery-related jail sentence, posted a celebratory marriage announcement on Facebook. There was just one problem – the woman he had married is a woman he had raised since she was a child. 

Facebook lurkers exploded with horror and many profanities, even investigating the couple and sharing photos that support the argument that Samantha is, in fact, Travis’ daughter. Samantha has since changed her last name on the site, but we’ve found comments from just a few months ago where she refers to him as “dad.” There’s a lot to process here, and if you want to indulge in some more comment schadenfreude, you can visit his page to read some of the loco comments. 

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Report: You May Not Remember Mom’s Friend, But Mom’s Friend Sure Remembers You

NASHVILLE, TN—In a new report that reveals she has really enjoyed seeing pictures of you growing up over the years, sources indicated Monday that while you may not remember your mother’s friend, your mother’s friend sure does remember you. “I held you in my arms when you were just a tiny newborn baby, but it’s been so long since I’ve visited, you might not remember my name,” your mom’s friend is quoted as saying in the report, which also indicates that you were only yea high the last time she saw you and have really shot up these past few years. “I’m Jane. Gosh, it seems like it was just yesterday we were playing with Legos and you were calling me Auntie Jane. How are you these days? Are you still into computers?” According to the report, your mom’s friend went on to remark upon how nice your beard looks and ask how long you’ve been wearing it that way.

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Crafty & Sweet Greeting Card Edits (31 Funny Pics)

Picking a card for a loved one, whether it’s for a joyous or somber occasion, is generally an activity of thoughtfulness. While there are some exceptions, most of these people seem to be lacking in the empathy department. The cards range from hilariously obviousmuck-ups to seemingly painstakingly purposeful pranks, but they’re all worthy of a smile and maybe a chuckle.

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Guy Confronts Son’s Teacher For Teaching “Blue Blood” Myth

You remember learning that the reason veins can appear blue is cause deoxygenated blood turns blue? Well that’s total horseshit. Your blood doesn’t turn blue, and the reason your veins might look that way is because blue and red light travel though skin with different levels of success, so what’s reflected back is a more bluish color. If you just learned this, you may be intrigued by these people who learned basic stuff way too late. Anyway, this dad asked if he was wrong for being really persistent with a teacher teaching the wrong thing.

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Mom Arrives From Other Room For Semi-Hourly Report On Game

PITTSBURGH—Briefly interrupting her weekend cleaning to pop her head into the living room, local mom Shandi Ames arrived from the other room Sunday for her semi-hourly report on the Pittsburgh Steelers football game. “How is everything going? Are they winning?” asked Ames, collecting dirty plates and empty cups from the coffee table while giving intermittent glances at the television screen. “Everything still going okay in here? I hope the game is going well. And how’s that player I like doing?” At press time, Ames was shouting “What’s wrong? What happened?” from the kitchen after hearing audible groans and shouting from the living room.

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Random Crap Slapped Together To Make You Laugh

While most of the time when we say “LOL” we’re barely making a sound, the purpose of the sentiment is to acknowledge something humorous. Or, sometimes, to lighten up something that might otherwise sound serious. These memes, tweets, and comics may not elicit a true, hearty, laugh out loud – but we’re willing to bet you’ll find them funny.

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So Annoying: Every Time This Man Visits Home His Family Hounds Him About When He’s Going To Get Into An Ethically Non-Monogamous Relationship

Parents often expect their child’s life to follow the same course that their’s did, and even though the parents only mean well by it, this can be extremely frustrating for their kids. No one understands this better than 29-year-old Andrew Monroe, whose family hounds him every time he visits home about when he’s going to get into an ethically non-monogamous relationship.

Poor guy. That must be so annoying.

Whenever Andrew comes home to his parents house in Kenosha, WI, he’s immediately bombarded with tons of questions about when he’s going to settle down and start seeing a girlfriend and at least three other women whom he sleeps with on particular nights of the week according to a set of rules they’ve all worked out together. Andrew will have barely rolled his suitcase in through the front door and his mom’s already talking about which of her friend’s daughters are single and would be “just perfect” to join him in a threesome at a masks-only sex party, sometimes going so far as to give him their numbers and a list of their kinks.

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Talk about infuriating. Why can’t she just let her son live his life!

Family dinners are even worse for Andrew, where it can feel like the only thing anybody wants to talk about is when he’s going to stop coming home alone and start bringing his five partners and their metamours with him. Even though Andrew will insist that he’s focused on his career for the moment and doesn’t have time to closed-group swing with another couple, let alone find a hotwife with whom he can fluid-share, it doesn’t come close to stopping his parents from going on about how they’ve been on the lookout for bulk sales on air mattresses so they’ll be able to house everyone in Andrew’s polycule when they come over to visit.

“It just feels like I’ve told my parents a hundred times that I’m not ready to get serious about finding several girlfriends who all cuckold me on a regular basis so I can feel compersion while watching them fuck other people,” explained Andrew. “I mean, I know my parents were regularly attending key parties by the time they were my age, but I wish they’d understand that by modern standards, it’s totally fine that I’m 29 and haven’t settled into an intentional polyfamily yet. It’ll happen when the time is right!”

Despite Andrew’s obvious reluctance to get into a responsible poly-mono relationship anytime soon, his mom still tries to guilt him with passive-aggressive remarks about how she’s not going to be around forever and that she’d like to meet his 30 polywogs and their 30 different mothers while she still can.

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Yikes. While Andrew’s parents won’t miss a chance to remind him about how most of the kids he grew up with have already throupled off into deltas, here’s hoping they give it a rest soon so Andrew at least makes it through Thanksgiving in peace.

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Kids Freaking Out for Stupid Reasons

People assume it’s easy to be a kid, like the whole “not working or paying taxes” thing. That said, a lot of us forget about the challenges of growing up. A lot of being a kid is learning how stupid you are, and discovering all the ways the world can disappoint you. These result in meltdowns over stupid things. Seriously, kids have a lot of dumb meltdowns.

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Aging Mother Threatens To Get Some Sperm And Shoot It In Daughter’s Womb Herself If She Doesn’t Hurry The Fuck Up

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