Guy Dressed As Grim Reaper Goes On National TV To Protest Florida Beaches Reopening

He definitely made his point in style.

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Fifteen Orwellian Posts Representing The Dystopian Hellhole We Live In

The following posts depict the strange, surreal times we’re living in right now, and we have to be honest in that they may even hit a little too close to home. Scroll down to see for yourself. If you want to feel even weirder and more hopeless, check out /r/BoringDystopia!

The following posts depict the strange, surreal times we’re living in right now, and we have to be honest in that they may even hit a little too close to home. Scroll down to see for yourself. If you want to feel even weirder and more hopeless, check out /r/BoringDystopia!

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Text - CNBC CNBC @CNBC Despite work/life balance buzz, disconnecting to spend time with your kids could severely impact your future wages Disconnecting to spend time with your kids could sabotage your career S cnbc.com

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Product - Q Search Bloomberg Business Americans Are Dying Younger, Saving Corporations Billions Life expectancy gains have stalled. The grim silver lining? Lower pension costs By John Tozzi August 8, 2017, 4:00 AM EDT Steady improvements in American life expectancy have stalled, and more Americans are dying at younger ages. But for companies straining under the burden of their pension obligations, the distressing trend could have a grim upside: If people don't end up living as long as they were

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Poster - YOU'RE NOT PAID TO THЛК A MINDLESS WORKER IS A HAPPY UWORKER! SHUT UP AND DO YOUR JOB!

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Text - Options Gang Karl @_TheCivilRight "Billionaires and millionaires unite to ask the currently underemployed working class for money" fixed it Rolling Stone @RollingStone 1d Oprah Winfrey, Questlove, Common, Alanis Morissette and Julia Roberts will lead a 'Call to Unite' 24-hour livestream to raise money for COVID-19 relief rol.st/3EXZILI

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Text - 09-25-19 WORKPLACE EVOLUTION Why crying employees can sometimes be a sign of a healthy workplace Occasionally crying at work is normal-and can sometimes indicate an honest work culture. But there are some best practices to follow when dealing with a coworker's tears.

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Text - tamso @tamsalexa | guess some people have asked my landlord about rent assistance and she sent out a mass email with a list of homeless shelters LOL we live in hell 4:44 PM · 2020-04-24 · Twitter for iPhone 2 Retweets 38 Likes

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Text - TFW ? 3:57 AM AA A google.com kentucky.com CORONAVIRUS Kentucky mayor tells hotel not to rent rooms to homeless as coronavirus spreads BY BETH MUSGRAVE APRIL 07, 2020 11:16 AM

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Text - This one's a real head-scratcher. You can stop the trolley at any time, but doing so would disrupt the trolley service causing the company to lose profits

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Vehicle - -pitiful healthcare infrastructure - massive wealth inequality - largest prison population in the world "fucking China virus"

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Product - The Wall Street Journal WSJ @WSJ A drawback to a shorter workday: "Everyone's outside life got so much better, at the expense of their passion for the work" Kchang sterTAL CETY The 5-Hour Workday Gets Put to the Test Tech consulting firm Rheingans Digital Enabler says its employees can deliver the same output during a focused 25-hour week as in 40 hours interrupted . S wsj.com 10:45 PM · Oct 23, 2019 · SocialFlow

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Text - I think the people who sent those masks were trying to help doctors and nurses who didn't have PPE - not to be part of an art project... H The Hill O @thehill 2h WATCH: Cuomo unveils collage of masks sent from around US: "A self-portrait of America" hill.cm/r2FKIbK

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Text - Steven Greenhouse @greenhousenyt Leilani Jordan, a grocery worker, died at age 27 from Covid-19. She said her store provided neither gloves, nor hand sanitizer. She continued working because she wanted to help people. Her mother received Leilani's last paycheck: it was just $20.64. Kashana O @kashanacauley Nothing says "essential worker" like "her last paycheck before she died was $20.64."

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Text - Joe Newlin Following @newlinia My gas utility wanted me to fill out an online survey. What do we do well as a company that keeps you a customer? Be a monopoly. What could we do to better serve you? Be acquired by a public entity (municipality, etc.) via eminent domain to be operated solely in the public interest by publicly-accountable individuals. 8:39 PM - 15 Mar 2018

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Lighting - r/boringdystopia < Crossposted by u/happyguy700 1 day ago Wierd times we live in r/funny · Posted by u/chino6815 1 day ago Our Baby Announcement in the time of Covid.

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Text - HELEN LEWIS AUGUST 20 2017, 12:01AM, THE SUNDAY TIMES There's too much life in our work-life balance HELEN LEWIS The slog of our day-to-day existence is making us shockingly unproductive

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Unexplained UFO Footage Officially Released By The Pentagon, Because What Else Could Go Wrong In 2020

Just when we thought things couldn’t possibly get worse in 2020, here we are with Pentagon-confirmed UFO sightings. That’s right, the Pentagon just released this footage (shown below) of pilots reacting to possible extraterrestrial aircraft darting around the sky in inexplicable fashion. What we want to know is, why did the authorities decide to release this information now, of all times? Please, just let us get over this damn plague first. 

Anyway, please scroll down for some reaction memes and tweets to this bizarre news.

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Sky - - 2° 8:41 UFO Videos OFFICIALLY Released by PENTAGON Today Strange Mysteries · 5.1K views 50 minutes ago Let me guess, April

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Road - me: 2020 sucks it possibly can't get worse april: STARECAT.COM

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Cartoon - 2020 is so fucking wild that the Pentagon just confirmed UFOS and it's barely news.

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Cartoon - molotov @Faltu_username When you came to earth for ruling but tested corona positive #UFOS #ufo2020

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Text - LST 1688 1688 C LTD/R GIF via @CBSNews G1 ADV-M OK, World news · Last night Pentagon declassifies Navy videos of 'unexplained aerial phenomena' Government releasing information about aliens April 2020

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Text - A. Maceroni @AnthonyMaceroni Since #ufo2020 is trending, if you happen to see an alien remember to practice social distancing. Be safe.

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Sky - Sociopath Memer @sociopath_ladka *Pentagon releases 3 UFO footages* Humans: Now only God can save us Meanwhile God: #ufo2020 #AliensExist

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People - COVID19 ME UFOS AND AN ALIEN INVASION imgflip.com

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Eyewear - When April's about to end and something bad hasn't happened yet : made with mematie thing's wrong I can feel it

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Fictional character - CoolChris06 @CoolChris06 #ufo2020 april boss fight:*doesn't happen* the pentagon: Fine. I'll do it myself.

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Photo caption - Ozani @Ant_20_ When the Aliens show up to Earth #ufo2020 I'M SORRY EARTH IS CLOSED TODAY

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Font - US: Pentagon officially releases 3 leaked UFO videos DPR 22.0 LST 1688 1688 C LTD/R 61 ROV-M OK, 242 CTV N0.59 BLK 53079 25010 OCL TR. SES TO SUCCESS April, no! DLAYE

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Photo caption - When you realize that April hasn't been as bad as the other months in 2020 Those Higher beings are up to something

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Rumors Of Kim Jong-Un’s Death Have Sparked Some Particularly Morbid Memes

North Korean leader Kim Jong-un is reportedly in “grave danger” after a botched heart surgery. The rumors began circulating after he missed his grandfather Kim Il-sung’s birthday celebration on April 15th. Since then, there have been various conflicting news reports, some claiming that Kim may have died, while others say he is “alive and well.” Predictably, memers have taken the opportunity to make a plethora of morbid jokes

All we have left to say is, rip to the guy who performed the surgery.

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Box - Reddit: He's definitely dead In Reality: Schrödinger's Kim

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Event - "And so you just inject the lysol??" "Fuck yeah you do.."

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Bird - Everyone on reddit who made memes about him dying Kim Jong un waking up

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Facial expression - Rumours of Kim Jong-un's death were 'greatly exaggerated' YouTube · Sky News Australia 5:34 2 days ago Oh, I... I thought you were dead. My death was.. greatly exaggerated.

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Dish - Korean Vegetables

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Job - Why do I hear music? You have visitors LIFWark CHIE

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Face - Nooo! I'm still alive! I'm still the president!! Stop treating her as if she was in the power!! Stop liking her, I'm still aliiiive!!!!!!! hahahaha my waifu is a dictator

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Forehead - #bringingbackactavis @1stdayoutthefed · 12h Nobody: Kim jung un when he wakes up in hell and see the corona patient he had executed GIF

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Product - Hoodie Benny C @HoodieBoomstick · 14h Kim Jung Un's surgeon at the South Korean border 0:01 263.6K views

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People - PEW PIE

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Text - memes if kim jong un dies memes if how to beg kim jong un for mercy in korean survived

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Text - Tweet 3SİXMANIC @3SIXMANIC Kim jong un the type to fake his death then punish everyone that celebrated. 20:57 · 25 Apr 20 · Twitter for iPhone 10.7K Retweets 30.2K Likes

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Photo caption - When Kim Jong-Un gets well and sees all the memes we made about him You know what is more destructive than a nuclear bomb? Words.

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Product - "MOM SAID ITS MY TURN TO BE A DICTATOR" THEHARDTIMES.NET North Korea's Mom Demands Little Sister Gets a Turn as Dictator

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Photograph - Anime openings Anime endings

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Text - Politics - Trending #KIMJONGUNDEAD Trending with: Kim Jong-un, North Korea, Kim Yo-jong World news kim jong undead kim jong un dead

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Mandy Patinkin Interview Interrupted, Guy’s Wife Is In Labor

What a genuinely wholesome moment. Mandy Patinkin is absolutely stoked. 

What a genuinely wholesome moment. Mandy Patinkin is absolutely stoked. 

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Absurd Individuals Who Didn’t Get Satire

By now, people should be aware of things like satirical news websites, but for some reason, we still get sadly mistaken people who didn’t understand satire. Whether it’s because they didn’t read the source, got so angry they wanted to believe a joke headline, or are just plain dumb, people will believe the dumbest headlines. These sites have been around for years and mistaken people still don’t get satire.

By now, people should be aware of things like satirical news websites, but for some reason, we still get sadly mistaken people who didn’t understand satire. Whether it’s because they didn’t read the source, got so angry they wanted to believe a joke headline, or are just plain dumb, people will believe the dumbest headlines. These sites have been around for years and mistaken people still don’t get satire.

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Big Little Mistake

Ivy league schools are offering over 400 of their classes for free online. One of them better be the math/statistics/gambling course that teaches us how to win at blackjack so we can all become millionaires. Just shuffling cards is hard, but we can figure it out. FOLLOW @LAMEBOOK ON INSTAGRAM!

Ivy league schools are offering over 400 of their classes for free online. One of them better be the math/statistics/gambling course that teaches us how to win at blackjack so we can all become millionaires. Just shuffling cards is hard, but we can figure it out. FOLLOW @LAMEBOOK ON INSTAGRAM!

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Reporter Can’t Say His Last Name Without Moving His Head

Seems like he might’ve practiced saying his name in front of the mirror, many a time. 

Seems like he might’ve practiced saying his name in front of the mirror, many a time. 

Submitted by: (via 9gagshqip)

Tagged: news , reporter , ridiculous , funny , Video , name

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Betty, The Weather Cat, Makes It To The Big Leagues

14 News, you have our undivided attention! 

Sorry, let us be more clear, *Jeff Lyons of 14 News, you have our undivided attention! Jeff Lyons, the weatherman for 14 News (currently working from home) has delivered a weather report with his cat, Betty, in his arms. 

If you can’t see why this is the most newsworthy story to us right now… then we simply cannot help you. 

Betty, you are a star. And we look forward to where your career goes after this. 

Follow Jeff Lyons on Facebook for all the latest Betty updates! 

14 News, you have our undivided attention! 

Sorry, let us be more clear, *Jeff Lyons of 14 News, you have our undivided attention! Jeff Lyons, the weatherman for 14 News (currently working from home) has delivered a weather report with his cat, Betty, in his arms. 

If you can’t see why this is the most newsworthy story to us right now… then we simply cannot help you. 

Betty, you are a star. And we look forward to where your career goes after this. 

Follow Jeff Lyons on Facebook for all the latest Betty updates! 

1.

Technology - Jeff Lyons - 14 News Thursday at 8:47 PM I can't tell if Betty is enjoying the whole Work-From-Home setup or not. As you can see, she's a high-strung, nervous wreck ! 14 ALERT FIRST EXTENDED FORECAST FRI SAT ON TUE WED THU 0% 0% % 0% 0% 20% 58 56 61 37 38 39 82)

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World - 11:51 PM Mon Apr 13 **9 71% Peoria LIma rian Lafayette FROST/FREEZE WARNINGS Sprma Muncir 14 ALERT FIRST псу EZE --Dauton Type: Freeze Warning Until: Tuesday 9:00 AM CDT Watch ute sday 9:00 AM EDT cmati Cngnam St. Louis Maysville Mt. Vernon Б Carbondale 14 FIRST ALERT BETTY THE WEATHER CAT Londc Paducah

3. "W.C Fields famously said: “Never work with kids and animals”. I should heed that advice, but I think I’ve been replaced. Maybe the better quote is “Claim victory and depart the field”" – Jeff Lyons

Green

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5. "So, Betty is now viral on the Internet ! I've had a lot of requests for the video, so here is the behind-the-scenes (thanks to Jackie Monroe at the studio) and then what went over the air. As you can see, Betty needs to be limbered up before showtime !"

6. Betty Q & A

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Groundhog Eating Pizza Becomes Idol In Philadelphia

There comes a moment in one’s life, when it is their time to shine. This groundhog is shining like a bright star in a dark night sky. Look at that pizza eating technique. The magical carelessness about the whole getup. It’s something else. Truly. Philadelphia is lucky. 

There comes a moment in one’s life, when it is their time to shine. This groundhog is shining like a bright star in a dark night sky. Look at that pizza eating technique. The magical carelessness about the whole getup. It’s something else. Truly. Philadelphia is lucky. 

Submitted by: (via 6abc Philadelphia)

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Twitter Thread: Declassified CIA Documents Go Full “Stranger Things”

Stranger Things just went real life. Apparently that character Eleven, off the show “Stranger Things”, isn’t so far off the reality that these declassified CIA documents illustrate. And that would be a very strange reality, indeed. A reality where people can move things across the room using their mind, as long as they’re in possession of a special instrument. Trippy. It’s like a remote changing the TV, but you can treat the room around you like it’s your living TV, or something. 

Stranger Things just went real life. Apparently that character Eleven, off the show “Stranger Things”, isn’t so far off the reality that these declassified CIA documents illustrate. And that would be a very strange reality, indeed. A reality where people can move things across the room using their mind, as long as they’re in possession of a special instrument. Trippy. It’s like a remote changing the TV, but you can treat the room around you like it’s your living TV, or something. 

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Text - Emma Best (Mx. Yzptlk) @NatSecGeek NEW: It took four years but I just got some newly declassified CIIA reports studying the Soviet Union's use of "black magic", telepathic mind control and "psychotronic generators" – devices they said turned people into psychics and let them move objects with their minds. #FOIA

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Text - Approved for Release: 2020/03/06 C00291638.. SECT NOFORN NTEICOICE April 1977 Soviet and East European Parapsychology Research BALE PRÉCIS Some recent US research suggests that it may be possible to use certain paranormal abilities for military or intelligence purposes. There are major uncertainties, however, about the extent to which such abilities exist, their reliability, and their mechanisms of operation. The practical utilization of these abilities has not yet been demonstrated concl

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Text - Black Magic ap be th About 1969 the Soviets reportedly established an official group in their covert program devoted to collecting information on black magic. This group, headed by D. G. Mirza, was given its own secret laboratory (M4 in the Appendix) in Moscow and was assigned the tasks of identifying, locating and evaluating the capabilities of sorcerers, witches, and the incantations used by such individuals. It is unlikely that this avenue of investigation has produced any applied para

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Text - 4. In 1979, Soviet parapsychology research spparently began to move svay from remote vieving and to focus extansively on behav- lor modification, subliminal uggestion and electromagnetie affects on physiologic behavior. In addition, a significant anount of study was devoted to the development of psychotronic generators used to dupliceta paychic effects. I sall handheld instruant at the Institute of Radio Electron- ics and Enginsering (TREE) in MOBCow which was able to move piecas of paper

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Text - Emma Best (Mx. Yzptlk) @NatSecGeek CIA originally denied the request, refusing to confirm or deny the existence of the records by citing "intelligence sources and methods" but we won't read too much into that

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Text - This is a final response to your 10 April 2016 Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) request, received in the office of the Information and Privacy Coordinator on 11 April 2016, for "materials covering the Soviet/Russian parapsychology AKA ʻpsychotronic' programs, including behavior modification/mind control, remote viewing and non-local physics." We have assigned your request the reference number above. Please use this number when corresponding so that we can identify it easily. In accordanc

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Text - Emma Best (Mx. Yzptlk) @NatSecGeek It probably doesn't need to be said, but: The anezing thim; to ne is :hat sany prozinen: Jovie: seientisie appear so 1nvoivei pol1:/cally that :hey cre conterned oal; with Ihe pessitility of thuir own promotion and do no: see wiao: is coing on in ei: ovn laborelcr:es. Tneir recearch is very slemy and ofte: their 1eei ":1scoverics" are laier úisproven.

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Text - Emma Best (Mx. Yzptlk) @NatSecGeek "ESP investigators who are working on a project that has such [military] application very often disappear from the scene. They are not incarcerated but are evidently sent off to secret areas to continue their research." #FOIA in. Apparently sme of his funding in past years had come through the Soviet space proram. ESP research as soon as it seens to have any militery spplication. tiçntors uho diseppoar from the scene. He méntioned that the Soviets are us

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Text - Agaricus @agaricus "This group, headed by D.G. Mirza, was given its owns secret laboratory in Moscow and was assigned the task of identifying, locating, and evaluating the capabilities of sorcerers, witches, and the incantations used by such individuals." %3D

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Text - Jack C @enth dang but stephen king had his finger on the pulse of the zeitgeist in the late 70s. uncanny

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Text - Mr.Bumface (@ @misterbumface Replying to @NatSecGeek The Institute by Stephen King comes to life

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Text - enile @enile Replying to @NatSecGeek "A small hand-held instrument ... able to move pieces of paper on a table across the room from the person holding the device". Sounds like a fan!

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Text - Drew McKevitt @drewmckevitt I would watch the hell out of a tv show about this

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Twitter Thread: Man Documents Invasion Of Goat Overlords

Andrew Stuart’s viral Twitter thread on his town getting invaded by an army of goat overlords is just our kind of entertainment. The confusion, the excitement, the general absurdity of the fact that the goats don’t appear to give a flying frick about anything, makes this a true gem of a story.

Andrew Stuart’s viral Twitter thread on his town getting invaded by an army of goat overlords is just our kind of entertainment. The confusion, the excitement, the general absurdity of the fact that the goats don’t appear to give a flying frick about anything, makes this a true gem of a story.

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Text - Andrew Stuart O @AndrewStuart · 6d v I think I just got a group of goats in Llandudno arrested. Let me explain... first, I saw this from inside a dark pub (the one I live in currently). I thought I was seeing things. So I took some video:

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Text - Andrew Stuart O @AndrewStuart · 6d So I decided to see what was going on. They stopped on Trinity Square, and decided the hedges there looked very tasty (tbf, they probably are if you're a goat )

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Product - Andrew Stuart So I gave @NWPolice a call to tell them a load of kids (geddit?) were running riot (I didn't actually say that... sadly). They said they'd pass it on to officers. @AndrewStuart · 6d 101 unknown message call WhatsApp mail Vesterdev

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Text - Andrew Stuart @AndrewStuart · 6d v And they sent a patrol car down who turned on the big red lights. So, I'm sorry if the goats got arrested. But they were being very naughty. Also, close the gates behind you on the Orme. And stay 2m apart at all times. 0:31

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Text - Andrew Stuart O @AndrewStuart · 6d One more thing... so we get news alert emails from @Dataminr, like everywhere probably. Helps us find all sorts of breaking news. Never thought my goat tweets would Framing this one make it into an alert Trinity Square, Llandudno LL30, UK 08:19pm March 26, REPORTER 2020 EDT Police car seen chasing herd of goats seen on street near Trinity Square in Llandudno, UK amid COVID-19 coronavirus lockdown: Andrew Stuart, Reporter

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Transport - Andrew Stuart O @AndrewStuart · 4d Goat update: they're back, and they're gathering in groups of more than 2

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Text - Property - Andrew Stuart O @AndrewStuart · 4d v O 46 27892 O 5,990 Andrew Stuart @AndrewStuart · 4d Goats that dgaf GLAN DAnd

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Property - Andrew Stuart O @AndrewStuart · 4d Just kidding around, yeah?

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Goats - Andrew Stuart O @AndrewStuart · 2d * Monday goat update: they're back. Again. And they dgaf. (H/t @86_leroy)

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Font - Andrew Stuart O @AndrewStuart · 2d They run Llandudno now and we just have to accept that as fact. Shenkin must be giving them tips from the Royal Welsh. 9am - 6pm 90 mun Dim dychwelyd o fewn 60 mun 9am - 6pm 90 mins No return within 60 mins 16 TRINITY SQUARE 65 271,333 O 9,881 Andrew Stuart O @AndrewStuart · 2d They know exactly what they're doing. Have some lunch from a bush and then go for a lie down in the churchyard

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Property - Andrew Stuart O @AndrewStuart I, for one, welcome our new goat overlords 16 TRINITY SQUARE

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Sheep - Andrew Stuart @AndrewStuart · 2d Replying to @AndrewStuart Can't believe l'm writing this... they're back (again) 0:23 1.8M views 9 612 276,767 O 24.1K Andrew Stuart O @AndrewStuart · 2d I think I am now the man who stares at goats (in the middle of the road)

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Adaptation - Andrew Stuart O @AndrewStuart · 2d They definitely dgaf 59 MADOC ST 0:15

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Text - Andrew Stuart O @AndrewStuart · 2d This shows what it's all about. They're scared of me (a human) in this. They don't like people. They usually only come down from the Great Orme when it's windy, and only the back streets at the top of Mostyn Street. Now lockdown means it's empty, they're going further than ever. ane Camng Corporate E Ofe aes Business Lur MICOM huieg Free Deliver

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Product - Andrew Stuart O @AndrewStuart 1d v Well... they're back #goats 51 27 509 ♡ 4,572 Andrew Stuart O @AndrewStuart 1d And they mean business this time #goats #llandudno

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Font - Andrew Stuart @AndrewStuart · 1d v Llandudno is run by goats 144K views 126 27832 5,022 Andrew Stuart @AndrewStuart 1d v Got the interest of @PA now too (and everyone else) 0:21

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Architecture - Andrew Stuart O @AndrewStuart · 1d They're still here... they live here now I think

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Husband And Wife Survive Lockdown By Slaying Lipsyncs

Comedians Rachel Parris and Marcus Brigstocke, have found a way to keep themselves entertained while keeping the rest of us entertained. Yes, these lip sync performances are magical. Can’t wait to see what they come up with next. So far, so good. 

Comedians Rachel Parris and Marcus Brigstocke, have found a way to keep themselves entertained while keeping the rest of us entertained. Yes, these lip sync performances are magical. Can’t wait to see what they come up with next. So far, so good. 

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BREAKING: This Is A Test Of The Onion’s Emergency Headline System

CHICAGO—WARNING WARNING ALERT ALERT ALERT ALERT, sources confirmed Thursday that this is a test of The Onion’s Emergency Headline System. Please excuse this interruption from your previously scheduled headlines while The Onion reviews its emergency content protocol. Doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom…

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Illustration for article titled BREAKING: This Is A Test Of iThe Onion/i’s Emergency Headline System

CHICAGO—WARNING WARNING ALERT ALERT ALERT ALERT, sources confirmed Thursday that this is a test of The Onion’s Emergency Headline System. Please excuse this interruption from your previously scheduled headlines while The Onion reviews its emergency content protocol. Doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom. This is only a test. Doom doom doom. This is not a real article. Doom doom doom. The Onion’s Emergency Headline System is conducting a test. Doom doom doom. The Onion doom doom doom broadcasters in your area doom doom doom in voluntary cooperation doom doom doom with federal, state, and local authorities have doom doom doom developed this system doom doom doom to keep you informed doom doom doom in the event doom doom doom of a headline emergency. Doom doom doom. Several reports indicated that if you have received this article, the test was a success, no further action is required, and you may return to your regularly scheduled content. For further emergency updates, please visit TheOnion.com/latest.

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‘They’re Doing Something To The Street,’ Reports Nation Staring Out Window

WASHINGTON—Explaining that they heard some kind of big commotion and decided to check out what was going on, the U.S. populace announced Thursday “They’re doing something to the street” while staring out of their windows. “Whoa, they’ve got a big truck out there and they’re making a hole,” said 327 million Americans…

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Illustration for article titled ‘They’re Doing Something To The Street,’ Reports Nation Staring Out Window

WASHINGTON—Explaining that they heard some kind of big commotion and decided to check out what was going on, the U.S. populace announced Thursday “They’re doing something to the street” while staring out of their windows. “Whoa, they’ve got a big truck out there and they’re making a hole,” said 327 million Americans who were pressed up against their windows, calling to their coinhabitants to come see all the guys in hard hats and safety vests who had sectioned off the road with traffic cones and were doing “something” with a big pile of rocks. “I wonder what this is for, since it seems like a lot of work. Oh, look, look, a guy just got into the hole, and someone just handed him a tool! Man, that’s crazy.” At press time, after making eye contact with one of the workers on the street, the U.S. populace smiled and gave them a thumbs up.

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Video Games Are Officially Art! Andres Serrano Just Submerged A Copy Of ‘Super Mario Odyssey’ In A Jar Of Piss

Well, well, well. Looks like all the mainstream haters out there are about to see the error of their ways. That’s right, gamers, everyone who ever doubted that video games can be art is about to eat a slice of humble pie, because American artist Andres Serrano just submerged a copy of Super Mario Odyssey in a jar of…

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Illustration for article titled Video Games Are Officially Art! Andres Serrano Just Submerged A Copy Of ‘Super Mario Odyssey’ In A Jar Of Piss

Well, well, well. Looks like all the mainstream haters out there are about to see the error of their ways. That’s right, gamers, everyone who ever doubted that video games can be art is about to eat a slice of humble pie, because American artist Andres Serrano just submerged a copy of Super Mario Odyssey in a jar of piss for his latest work, Platform (2020), and video games are officially an art form!

For anyone who didn’t take gaming seriously before, just feast your eyes on this Nintendo Switch masterpiece stuffed into a container filled with the avant-garde photographer and provocateur’s own urine. It’s an argument so compelling that we’re sure any critics out there will be rushing to post apologies right away for ever questioning the validity of video games.

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Of course, the debate about whether gaming was an authentic form of creative expression has been raging for decades now. Some contend video games are just a childish form of play, while others have even argued that their primary appeal comes from the dopamine rush of crossing off tasks one by one on a lengthy to-do list. Everything those naysayers miss about gaming has been perfectly captured by the sight of Serrano’s murky urine suffused with warm orange sunlight to reveal Mario’s smiling face.

Now, obviously, there have been countless moments of gaming past that could be used to argue for the medium’s artistic merit, from the sublime imagery as you ascend Journey’s final mountain to the countless gut-punch deaths in The Last of Us. But what Andres Serrano evokes by drowning the 2017 platforming classic in his urine goes beyond anything we’ve seen before by revealing how the sacred and profane come together as one in video gaming. It’s a sentiment beautifully echoed in another of his most recent works, Waste Ape, in which he constructed a sculpture of Donkey Kong entirely from his own feces.

So thanks a lot, Mr. Serrano! You’re now an authentic gaming legend for life.

Source Pheromones

Anthropologists Who Discovered Existence Of Goblins Just Going To Let Coronavirus Thing Die Down Before Making Announcement

MONTIGNAC, FRANCE—Stressing that they had been as astonished as anyone to learn the hideous creatures actually lived and congregated in the real world, a team of anthropologists from Oxford University who discovered the existence of goblins reportedly decided this week to just let the coronavirus thing die down before…

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Illustration for article titled Anthropologists Who Discovered Existence Of Goblins Just Going To Let Coronavirus Thing Die Down Before Making Announcement

MONTIGNAC, FRANCE—Stressing that they had been as astonished as anyone to learn the hideous creatures actually lived and congregated in the real world, a team of anthropologists from Oxford University who discovered the existence of goblins reportedly decided this week to just let the coronavirus thing die down before making their announcement. “Frankly, we assumed that goblins were creations of pure fantasy and I would have dismissed any evidence of them outright had my entire team not seen and verified their reality with their own eyes, which is why we’re just going to sit on this until the whole pandemic fiasco goes away,” said lead researcher Dr. Arthur Worcester, who indicated that he had been dumbstruck after stumbling onto hundreds of tiny enchanted hammers and golden trinkets during a routine excavation of the Lascaux cave complex before witnessing the fanged, cape-wearing beings gathering in a stone hollow for some sort of mischievous festivities, but that none of this changed the core fact that there were more pressing issues for most people. “We also found dozens of perfectly intact skeletons that appear to be preserved through some sort of goblin magic. All of this would confirm centuries of folktales and legends about these monstrous tricksters in a way that could frankly transform how humanity understands the physical world. I mean, Jesus Christ—goblins. Honestly, the fact that I have a few of them locked up in a cage in my office alone would probably make me one of the most influential scientists in human history. But we want this to get the airtime it deserves, and there’s this whole Covid-19 problem, so…I guess, we’ll just wait? Honestly, what else do you do here?” At press time, Worcester had advised his team that they could try submitting a few of the photographs of the goblins performing sorcery this summer to Nature or Science, but that he doubted they would gain any real traction given the current state of things.

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Source Pheromones