Tales of Extreme Stinginess

We personally have done some ridiculously inconvenient things to save not enough money. When you realize that you’re spending 3 hours and gas money to go to a store the next town over save three dollars on apple juice, it really makes you reevaluate how much your time is worth. That said, we love a deal and here are stories of people’s sketchy cheap buys that ended up being their best purchases. On the other side there are people who try to bully and swindle people out of their dollars or complain over the contents of a dollar taco, and those entitled people need to pack up their rotten attitudes.

We personally have done some ridiculously inconvenient things to save not enough money. When you realize that you’re spending 3 hours and gas money to go to a store the next town over save three dollars on apple juice, it really makes you reevaluate how much your time is worth. That said, we love a deal and here are stories of people’s sketchy cheap buys that ended up being their best purchases. On the other side there are people who try to bully and swindle people out of their dollars or complain over the contents of a dollar taco, and those entitled people need to pack up their rotten attitudes.

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Congress Allocates $2 Trillion To Bail Out Struggling Bailout Industry

WASHINGTON—In order to alleviate the heavy damage the crucial financial sector is facing in the midst of the ongoing Covid-19 outbreak, the United States Congress announced Tuesday that they would be allocating $2 trillion in order to bail out the struggling bailout industry. “The bailout industry is on the brink of…

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Illustration for article titled Congress Allocates $2 Trillion To Bail Out Struggling Bailout Industry

WASHINGTON—In order to alleviate the heavy damage the crucial financial sector is facing in the midst of the ongoing Covid-19 outbreak, the United States Congress announced Tuesday that they would be allocating $2 trillion in order to bail out the struggling bailout industry. “The bailout industry is on the brink of failure, so in order to prevent a full-on catastrophe, we are setting aside $2 trillion in order to bail it out,” said Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY), adding that the business of giving of massive sums of money to corporations so they can cover their losses is at the very bedrock of the U.S. economic system, and without assistance, the entire bailout industry as we know it could collapse, which could lead to another Great Depression. “During a crisis like this, the bailout industry is often hit the hardest, so we are taking immediate action, as our economy is deeply dependent on the bailout system; if bailouts can’t function, then America can’t function. A cash injection is absolutely necessary to make sure these failing businesses can inject cash into failing businesses.” At press time, Congress had signed a bill to allocate funds to bail out their bailout of the bailout industry.

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Jerk Idiot Stuck with 18,000 Bottles of Hand Sanitizer He Tried to Flip

Matt Colvin thought it would be a good idea to get the jump on everyone’s fears surrounding coronavirus by cornering the local market on cleaning products and flip them at an increased price. Since that’s basically illegal, he’ll luckily probably end up giving it away. Watch those gears in his head grind to a halt when the reporter tries to coax an apology out of him.

Matt Colvin thought it would be a good idea to get the jump on everyone’s fears surrounding coronavirus by cornering the local market on cleaning products and flip them at an increased price. Since that’s basically illegal, he’ll luckily probably end up giving it away. Watch those gears in his head grind to a halt when the reporter tries to coax an apology out of him.

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Tumblr User Shares Advice To Squash Laundry Industry

This angry Tumblr user shared some helpful advice on how to challenge the laundry industry itself, after seeing yet another article targeting millennials for being clueless. It might actually end up inspiring people to make their own laundry supplies. 

This angry Tumblr user shared some helpful advice on how to challenge the laundry industry itself, after seeing yet another article targeting millennials for being clueless. It might actually end up inspiring people to make their own laundry supplies. 

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Entitled People Who’ve Gotta Pack Up Their Rotten Attitudes

Whether it’s an insane boss, a demanding sibling, or a complete stranger who wants a 500 dollar lawnmower delivered to their house for free, demanding entitled people need to leave and take their attitudes with them. No family gathering, community board, review section or online marketplace is safe from entitled individuals with their absurd demands.

Whether it’s an insane boss, a demanding sibling, or a complete stranger who wants a 500 dollar lawnmower delivered to their house for free, demanding entitled people need to leave and take their attitudes with them. No family gathering, community board, review section or online marketplace is safe from entitled individuals with their absurd demands.

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Choosing Beggar Can’t Grasp Meaning Of A Deposit

This case of a choosing beggar refusing to accept the reality in front of them, involves not wanting to pay for a deposit they put down. Even better, they won’t wrap their mind around the fact that the deposit is there in case people flake on showing up in the first place. This is gold all around. 

This case of a choosing beggar refusing to accept the reality in front of them, involves not wanting to pay for a deposit they put down. Even better, they won’t wrap their mind around the fact that the deposit is there in case people flake on showing up in the first place. This is gold all around. 

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Fourteen Sassy Billionaire Memes That Are Too Rich For Our Blood

In the midst of the 2020 presidential elections, there’s been a plethora of jokes and memes made about cringey billionaire Michael Bloomberg and his Meme 2020 campaign. 

Let’s face it, this country is effed in pretty much any potential outcome of the election, so let’s just say f*ck it and laugh over some memes about people who are too rich for planet earth.

In the midst of the 2020 presidential elections, there’s been a plethora of jokes and memes made about cringey billionaire Michael Bloomberg and his Meme 2020 campaign. 

Let’s face it, this country is effed in pretty much any potential outcome of the election, so let’s just say f*ck it and laugh over some memes about people who are too rich for planet earth.

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Absurd Lying Stranger Won’t Pay for Rug, Thinks They’ve Won

Nothing is the same type of annoying as a dumb person who thinks they’ve just defeated you. Such is this low balling stranger who made the unreasonable demand for this rug, obviously lies about buying a different one, and is so dumb that they don’t understand a rhetorical situation and believe that they’ve caught the seller in a lie. Pretty childish.

Nothing is the same type of annoying as a dumb person who thinks they’ve just defeated you. Such is this low balling stranger who made the unreasonable demand for this rug, obviously lies about buying a different one, and is so dumb that they don’t understand a rhetorical situation and believe that they’ve caught the seller in a lie. Pretty childish.

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Entitled Fools Who are a Waste of Everyone’s Time

Whether it’s cheapness, not valuing other people’s skills or time, or just straight up douche-baggery, the world has its fair share of entitled individuals with unreasonable demands. It really changes your opinion of someone when they not only want valuable stuff for free, but are also threatening jerks about it. These entitled folks need to leave and take their attitudes with them.

Whether it’s cheapness, not valuing other people’s skills or time, or just straight up douche-baggery, the world has its fair share of entitled individuals with unreasonable demands. It really changes your opinion of someone when they not only want valuable stuff for free, but are also threatening jerks about it. These entitled folks need to leave and take their attitudes with them.

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Tenant Escapes Fraudulent Deal with Thieving Landlord

This tenant found themselves in a deal they didn’t agree to with a landlord who tried to steal from them. So they took stock of the things that they could legally control, and made them an ultimatum. Sometimes landlords will try to scam their tenants, but it doesn’t work out for them.

This tenant found themselves in a deal they didn’t agree to with a landlord who tried to steal from them. So they took stock of the things that they could legally control, and made them an ultimatum. Sometimes landlords will try to scam their tenants, but it doesn’t work out for them.

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Entitled People Who Need to Pack Up Their Absurd Demands

Some folks have a problem when it comes to asking for free stuff. Be it scammy influencers, horrible Karens, dudes who want to bully you into selling a truck for 50 bucks or people who want you to work for free, there are absurd demands being flung every which way. It seems like the world just has to forever deal with entitled folks.

Some folks have a problem when it comes to asking for free stuff. Be it scammy influencers, horrible Karens, dudes who want to bully you into selling a truck for 50 bucks or people who want you to work for free, there are absurd demands being flung every which way. It seems like the world just has to forever deal with entitled folks.

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Funny Times March 2020 Issue

Cartoons about the Philosophy . Hibernation . Travel . Comfort Food. Bible Stories . Law & Order . Divorce . Exercise . Trees and more! Buy This Issue With cartoons by:  Hilary Allison, Clay Bennett, Bizarro, Harry Bliss, Ruben Bolling, Matt Bors, Bill Bramhall, Tyson Cole, Dave Coverly, George Danby, J.C. Duffy, Cameron Harvey, Jeff Hobbs, John Jonik, John Kastner, …[ Read More ]

Cartoons about the Philosophy . Hibernation . Travel . Comfort Food. Bible Stories . Law & Order . Divorce . Exercise . Trees and more!

With cartoons by:  Hilary Allison, Clay Bennett, Bizarro, Harry Bliss, Ruben Bolling, Matt Bors, Bill Bramhall, Tyson Cole, Dave Coverly, George Danby, J.C. Duffy, Cameron Harvey, Jeff Hobbs, John Jonik, John Kastner, Vladimir Kazanevsky, Ham Khan, Keith Knight, Dennis Kuklok, Peter Kuper, Mary Lawton, Scott Masear, Brian McFadden, Stan Mack, Chris Monroe, P.S. Mueller, Drew Panckeri, Mark Parisi, Joel Pett, Rina Piccolo, Ted Rall, Hilary Price, Harley Schwadron, Jim Shoenbill, Andy Singer, Jen Sorensen, Mark Stivers, Ward Sutton, Tom Toles, Tom Tomorrow, Brad Veley, P.C. Vey, Bill Whitehead, Matt Wuerker, Zippy  . . . and lots more!

The Problems (And Benefits) Of Aging
By Raymond Lesser

FUQ: Frequently Unasked Questions
By Swami Beyondananda

Bring It!
By Stephen Lyons

The Borowitz Report
By Andy Borowitz

Going North In Winter
By Eric Glaberson

Is Hibernation Right For You?
By Robert Moll

Pizza, We Need To Talk
By Dana Schellings

I’m Related To Jesus – On My Mother’s Side
By Tim Jones

Evil Corporation Adds Leaf To Logo  Now Everything’s Better
By Chris Hume

Seven Inventions For Thriving In The 21st Century
By Claire Goforth

‘Bout To Get A Booty
By Walt Wood

Dear Quasi-Alumnus
By David Martin

Buckets, Ladders & Chainsaws
By Jackie Allison

PLUS:

Cartoons about Law & Order
Curmudgeon on Money
Cartoons about The Occult
Dave Maleckar’s 100 Word Rant
News Of The Weird
Harper’s Index
Cartoons about Divorce
News & Political Cartoons

More Funny Stuff …

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The Problems (And Benefits) Of Aging

I often hear people complaining about getting older, frequently when I’m muttering to myself since nobody really wants to hear what I have to say anymore. But it’s important to remember that there are a lot of benefits to aging that go way beyond social security checks, senior movie tickets, and a special 20 percent discount every Thursday at Goodwill …[ Read More ]

I often hear people complaining about getting older, frequently when I’m muttering to myself since nobody really wants to hear what I have to say anymore. But it’s important to remember that there are a lot of benefits to aging that go way beyond social security checks, senior movie tickets, and a special 20 percent discount every Thursday at Goodwill when you get the chance to buy back all the favorite sweaters that you accidentally donated last week instead of dropping them off at the cleaners.

For instance:

Problem: The hair on your head stops growing and falls out, while the hair inside your ears suddenly sprouts like a potato in the spring.
Benefit: Maybe you’re a little too old to start wearing a nose ring, but how many people are cool enough to have tiny Rastafarian dreadlocks hanging out the sides of their head?

Problem: Various aches and pains cause you to grunt every time you have to stand up out of a chair.
Benefit: Cats and small dogs will know exactly when it’s time to scamper away so they don’t get stepped on while you’re teetering in every possible direction to try to find your balance.

Problem: The trendy new World Cuisine restaurant on the corner only accepts credit cards or bitcoins and won’t let you pay for a meal with the good old American dollars you have stashed under your mattress.
Benefit: You’ll never have to stand in line for an hour for a chance to experience the heartburn of Thai Chili Tarantulas or Mint Jellied Moose Nose.

Problem: Your children are afraid to let you drive them anywhere in your car until you get your eyes, ears, and brakes checked.
Benefit: You are now free to crank up the oldies radio station as loud as you like to listen to the Archies singing “Sugar, Sugar” and the Monkees playing “Last Train to Clarksville.”

Problem: The people you’ve known the longest are looking really wrinkled, spotted, and decrepit.
Benefit: Anyone who sees you with them will immediately see how much more handsome you are and always have been.

Problem: All the books you’ve saved to read when you retire are full of dust and smell like someone’s dirty gym socks. Also the print seems to have shrunk since you bought them.
Benefit: After clearing them off your shelves to donate to the library book sale you now have lots of space to display your 40 year collection of hotel shampoo bottles and soap bars.

Problem: You sometimes have trouble remembering things like what you came to the grocery store to buy, or whether or not you put on your pants.
Benefit: While you scour the house to try to find where somebody hid your phone you often come across other valuable objects that you had forgotten were lost like your favorite coffee mug or your wallet.

Problem: The friends that you used to go out dancing with now go to bed at 8 pm, before most clubs even open.
Benefit: They don’t mind you calling them to talk when the bars close at 3 am because they needed to get up to pee, too.

Problem: The friends you used to go out to eat with now want to have dinner at 4 pm and you hate ordering off the Early Bird Menu because you can’t stop thinking that the early bird gets the worms. Which is really not what you want to be thinking when you’re ordering spaghetti and meatballs.
Benefit: When you eat dinner that early you’re ready for breakfast when you can’t go back to sleep at 3 am.

Problem: The friends that used to like to talk for hours about rock concerts and backpacking to Nepal now want to tell you all the details about their latest colonoscopy and knee replacement.
Benefit: They no longer insist that you all have to get stoned and listen to a tape of Iron Butterfly’s “In a Gadda Da Vida” played backwards.

Problem: You often find yourself needing to sit on the toilet for longer than it took John Glenn to orbit the Earth. And if you’re reading this and don’t know who John Glenn was, that’s also a problem.
Benefit: Finding out that Metamucil tastes just like Tang, the instant beverage invented for astronauts, so that now every morning you can pretend that you’re getting ready to blast off into space.

More Funny Stuff …

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Entitled People and Their Absurd Demands

People are out here demanding stuff for way below its actual value, wanting free junk and being rude about it, and asking people to work for them for free among other things. Entitled people have a laughable boldness and we’re not sure if it actually gets them anything. It seems like no matter the obstacles in their way, they keep up with their unreasonable demands.

People are out here demanding stuff for way below its actual value, wanting free junk and being rude about it, and asking people to work for them for free among other things. Entitled people have a laughable boldness and we’re not sure if it actually gets them anything. It seems like no matter the obstacles in their way, they keep up with their unreasonable demands.

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Lin-Manuel Miranda: ‘You People Are Giving Me Too Much Fucking Money’

NEW YORK—Noting the fat paychecks he’d received for his work on Broadway and in Hollywood, Hamilton star Lin-Manuel Miranda announced Thursday that “You people are giving me too much fucking money.” “Holy hell, I wrote one musical about a founding father, and you goddamn lunatics are throwing millions of dollars at me…

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NEW YORK—Noting the fat paychecks he’d received for his work on Broadway and in Hollywood, Hamilton star Lin-Manuel Miranda announced Thursday that “You people are giving me too much fucking money.” “Holy hell, I wrote one musical about a founding father, and you goddamn lunatics are throwing millions of dollars at me like I invented theater or something. Get a grip,” said Miranda, who wondered aloud if Disney would still have paid $75 million to acquire the rights to his play, Hamilton, if they knew he’d “shit it out in one night after reading the dude’s biography.” “Why am I getting paid to go on late-night shows and freestyle with the host? Or voice a cartoon character in an episode of some animated show? I’m touched you all liked the rap songs, but stop with the big bucks because it’s getting embarrassing. I’m just one guy in an entire industry of people struggling to make any money at all.” Miranda urged anyone who wanted to give him more money to instead “throw some cash at whoever wrote Wicked because that shit is incredible.”

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Entitled People Who Need to Abandon Their Nonsense

The world has its fair share of entitled people who just want stuff without thinking of the needs and decisions of anyone around them. From nitpicking over petty stuff to wanting people to work for them for free, the world is full of entitled people and their unreasonable demands. For a real good one, here’s an entitled mom who lashed out when her babysitter found a better job.

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Native American Journalist Explains Impact Of KC Chiefs On Stereotypes

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Wild and Dumb Things People Wanted Loans For

Personally, we’d wish we could move money around as recklessly as banks themselves do and get bailed out with no repercussions, but anyway here are some stupid and weird things people wanted to invest in. People have stupid business ideas that are worthy of sitcoms, and generally make bad decisions. For some more people who were interesting with money here’s an entitled mom who lashed out when her baby sitter quit and times that spoiled rich kids had their world burst by real life.

Personally, we’d wish we could move money around as recklessly as banks themselves do and get bailed out with no repercussions, but anyway here are some stupid and weird things people wanted to invest in. People have stupid business ideas that are worthy of sitcoms, and generally make bad decisions. For some more people who were interesting with money here’s an entitled mom who lashed out when her baby sitter quit and times that spoiled rich kids had their world burst by real life.

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Bernie Still Needs Your Financial Support In These Fresh Dank Memes

We’ve been seeing these Bernie Sanders memes practically everywhere on the internet lately, and they don’t appear to be stopping any time soon! Here’s our last gallery in case you missed ’em. 

We sincerely hope you’re not sick of political memes yet, because we’ve still got far to go before the 2020 presidential elections, so buckle up!

We’ve been seeing these Bernie Sanders memes practically everywhere on the internet lately, and they don’t appear to be stopping any time soon! Here’s our last gallery in case you missed ’em. 

We sincerely hope you’re not sick of political memes yet, because we’ve still got far to go before the 2020 presidential elections, so buckle up!

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Employee Points Out Boss’s Mistake In This Surprisingly Hopeful Thread

Boss-employee confrontations aren’t always terrible, as it turns out. Imgur user DiscriminativeStimulus posted an email correspondence with their boss when the company made a mistake by paying them too much in over time. Shockingly, both parties acted like rational adults and justice was had all the same, which gives us a tiny bit more hope in this world.

But if you’re in the mood to feel angry at your job, click here for some frustrated work memes via Fail Blog!

Boss-employee confrontations aren’t always terrible, as it turns out. Imgur user DiscriminativeStimulus posted an email correspondence with their boss when the company made a mistake by paying them too much in over time. Shockingly, both parties acted like rational adults and justice was had all the same, which gives us a tiny bit more hope in this world.

But if you’re in the mood to feel angry at your job, click here for some frustrated work memes via Fail Blog!

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Dank Bernie Sanders Memes That Want Your Financial Support

It’s election season in America, and you know what that means! Instead of canvassing or donating for your preferred candidate, why not make memes about them instead? All jokes aside, we’re loving this Bernie Sanders meme right now, which makes fun of those times when you’re feeling fiscally challenged. Click here for a roundup of socialist memes!

It’s election season in America, and you know what that means! Instead of canvassing or donating for your preferred candidate, why not make memes about them instead? All jokes aside, we’re loving this Bernie Sanders meme right now, which makes fun of those times when you’re feeling fiscally challenged. Click here for a roundup of socialist memes!

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