Witty and Stupid Jokes that are Technically Right

While we don’t always have the intended answers, we can at least be smart asses about things. Technically correct jokes have the benefit of making the teller feel smart while there’s not really any new information needed. These silly puns and clever jokes are technically accurate, so you can’t say they’re completely wrong.

While we don’t always have the intended answers, we can at least be smart asses about things. Technically correct jokes have the benefit of making the teller feel smart while there’s not really any new information needed. These silly puns and clever jokes are technically accurate, so you can’t say they’re completely wrong.

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Absurdly Tight Shirt Gets Roasted In The Comments

When the people of Facebook get together and decide something looks silly, there’s nothing stopping the torrent of roasts and funny observations from washing over whatever it is. In this case, the thing is an ad for a shirt that barely fits on the absurdly muscular, probably photoshopped model. We live in a golden age of funny and rare insults, and the internet is full of ingenious insults full of meanness.

When the people of Facebook get together and decide something looks silly, there’s nothing stopping the torrent of roasts and funny observations from washing over whatever it is. In this case, the thing is an ad for a shirt that barely fits on the absurdly muscular, probably photoshopped model. We live in a golden age of funny and rare insults, and the internet is full of ingenious insults full of meanness.

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Facial hair - Father & Sons Sponsored · O FATHERSONSCLOTHING.COM NEW Ultra Stretch Super Slim Shirt Collection SHOP NOW OO 1.5K 4.6K comments • 206 shares Like ל'ו Comment Share

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Text - Do u only do shirts for gay vikings or can anyone wear them O-01.5k Like Reply View 82 more replies Jo they als... Them buttons must be on more gear than him e 865 10w Like Reply View 14 previous replies I'm gay and this is too gay for me.... eDO 557 8w Like Reply View 8 previous replies

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Text - When someone walks in with an even tighter top O1.6k 10w Like Reply View 52 previous replies Dacin so u ** Does that shirt come in a 280 spray can? 10w Like Reply

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When youve listed every restaurant in a 25 mile radius and she still doesnt know what she wants to eat 123 Like Reply Hamish... 'Get hunky' they said, 'no one will ever take the piss out of you again' they said. 83 9w Like Reply

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Text - When he farts you'll see the bubble go up the back of his shirt 885 10w Like Reply View 39 previous replies Abby Heaton Does your clothing line come with a free steroid cycle? 201 10w Like Reply View 1 previous reply m need... PEACE N Do these come in adult sizes? O0219 9w Like Reply View 1 previous reply pa.. K. Take it this only comes in Avengers sizes?? O 160

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Text - Came for the comments and they didnt disapoint 10w Like Reply 676 View 3 previous replies es hi mate Father & sons? Fathers got his sons shirt on hasn't he? 10w Like Reply OO871 View 26 previous replies I know d... Do you have that in slim fit? O0812 10w Like Reply View 14 previous replies I was h... Absolutely taking the piss

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Sexy Coverage

The quarantine is forcing a lot of time with whoever you live with. Yesterday, my girlfriend asked, “Would you like me if I was a boy?” Hypothetical questions ALWAYS go well, right? I said, “Yeah, of course. I like you no matter what,” hoping that would end the conversation. Then she said, “Would you kiss […]

The quarantine is forcing a lot of time with whoever you live with. Yesterday, my girlfriend asked, “Would you like me if I was a boy?” Hypothetical questions ALWAYS go well, right? I said, “Yeah, of course. I like you no matter what,” hoping that would end the conversation. Then she said, “Would you kiss me if I was a boy?” and I silently just stood up and went on a 3 hour walk by myself.

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Raw Deal

Let’s hope people have said, “Can you come help me paint my House?” to Hugh Laurie, and when he got there they covered him in paint. If not, we should do that. (Hugh Laurie was the star of “House” so, yes, this is amazing) HI! FOLLOW @LAMEBOOK ON INSTAGRAM! THANKS!!

Let’s hope people have said, “Can you come help me paint my House?” to Hugh Laurie, and when he got there they covered him in paint. If not, we should do that. (Hugh Laurie was the star of “House” so, yes, this is amazing)

HI! FOLLOW @LAMEBOOK ON INSTAGRAM! THANKS!!

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Ghost Story

In some states in America, they are reopening a few non-essential businesses. What are they opening??? Movie theaters. So, in case you’ve been bored sitting at home watching movies, you can now go down the street and pay $15 to watch a movie. Either way, stay and wait until doctors say it’s okay to go […]

In some states in America, they are reopening a few non-essential businesses. What are they opening??? Movie theaters. So, in case you’ve been bored sitting at home watching movies, you can now go down the street and pay $15 to watch a movie. Either way, stay and wait until doctors say it’s okay to go outside and rewatch all the Harry Potter movies.

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Secret Delivery

It’s important to casually take a mental inventory of what in your house could be used as toilet paper. With all the toilet paper being bought up, it’s just helpful to know how many ‘Chicken Soup For The Soul’ books you have. HI! FOLLOW @LAMEBOOK ON INSTAGRAM! THANK YOU!

It’s important to casually take a mental inventory of what in your house could be used as toilet paper. With all the toilet paper being bought up, it’s just helpful to know how many ‘Chicken Soup For The Soul’ books you have.

HI! FOLLOW @LAMEBOOK ON INSTAGRAM! THANK YOU!

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Taste The Pain

HELLOOO! FOLLOW @LAMEBOOK ON INSTAGRAM! THANKS!

HELLOOO! FOLLOW @LAMEBOOK ON INSTAGRAM! THANKS!

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Fruit Fight

Everyone has a favorite brand for every type of drink, right? Soda, energy drink – even bottled water. The only drink without a brand battle is milk. Do people have a favorite brand of milk? I’ve never heard someone say, “Can you get me some milk? BUT only if it’s Spotty Moo Cow brand milk.” […]

Everyone has a favorite brand for every type of drink, right? Soda, energy drink – even bottled water. The only drink without a brand battle is milk. Do people have a favorite brand of milk? I’ve never heard someone say, “Can you get me some milk? BUT only if it’s Spotty Moo Cow brand milk.” Someone get us on Shark Tank immediately.

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The Favourite

PRO TIP: Keep asparagus in your fridge. Any food you eat will look fancy if you put a side of asparagus on the plate. Think your dinner of a Hot Pocket looks sad on that plate? Add some asparagus and boom – it looks like a French pastry. Asparagus is the tuxedo of vegetables. HI! […]

PRO TIP: Keep asparagus in your fridge. Any food you eat will look fancy if you put a side of asparagus on the plate. Think your dinner of a Hot Pocket looks sad on that plate? Add some asparagus and boom – it looks like a French pastry. Asparagus is the tuxedo of vegetables.

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Binder And Chill

When we were in middle school, we all heard the rumor about Marilyn Manson getting a rib removed, right? That dude knew how to prepare for a quarantine. HEY! FOLLOW @LAMEBOOK ON INSTAGRAM, PLEASE! THANKS!

When we were in middle school, we all heard the rumor about Marilyn Manson getting a rib removed, right? That dude knew how to prepare for a quarantine.

HEY! FOLLOW @LAMEBOOK ON INSTAGRAM, PLEASE! THANKS!

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Love And Lost

HI! PLEASE FOLLOW @LAMEBOOK ON INSTAGRAM! WE’RE GREAT! YOU’RE GREAT! THANKS!

HI! PLEASE FOLLOW @LAMEBOOK ON INSTAGRAM! WE’RE GREAT! YOU’RE GREAT! THANKS!

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Cart-In Movie

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HEYO! PLEASE DISABLE YOUR ADBLOCKER OR WHITELIST US! THANKS!

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Highlander Josh

HELLOOO! PLEASE DISABLE YOUR ADBLOCKER OR WHITELIST US! THANK YOU!

HELLOOO! PLEASE DISABLE YOUR ADBLOCKER OR WHITELIST US! THANK YOU!

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Lost In Space

HEY! Follow @lamebook on instagram! THANKS!

HEY! Follow @lamebook on instagram! THANKS!

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Green Without Envy

Everyone makes fun of people who say their kids’ age in months. “Our sweet son is named Thermometer and he’s 28 months old.” Once a girl said her dog was 17 months old. Everyone hates it. Not us, we respect it. Sometimes I forget how old I am in YEARS, let alone months. Most of […]

Everyone makes fun of people who say their kids’ age in months. “Our sweet son is named Thermometer and he’s 28 months old.” Once a girl said her dog was 17 months old. Everyone hates it. Not us, we respect it. Sometimes I forget how old I am in YEARS, let alone months. Most of the time, we can’t remember what day of the week it is, let alone the age of a Corgi in months. In conclusion, don’t name your son Thermometer.

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Lashing Out

THEORY OF THE DAY: Jack-in-the-box toys are meant to train kids to become adults who don’t jump in fear when the toaster pops your bread up. It didn’t work, right? Does everyone jump when the toaster pops your bread up? Someone needs to invent a toaster that silently pops, so we can feel tough while […]

THEORY OF THE DAY: Jack-in-the-box toys are meant to train kids to become adults who don’t jump in fear when the toaster pops your bread up. It didn’t work, right? Does everyone jump when the toaster pops your bread up? Someone needs to invent a toaster that silently pops, so we can feel tough while eating a Toaster Strudel.

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Bird Brain

Do you ever have conversations with yourself that escalate in self-sabotage right after your alarm goes off? Like, “Just snooze for 9 more minutes.” Then, “Just sleep for 30 more mins, you can be late to work.” Then, “Just skip work.” Then, “Just quit your job.” PLEASE DISABLE YOUR ADBLOCKER OR WHITELIST US! THANKS!

Do you ever have conversations with yourself that escalate in self-sabotage right after your alarm goes off?

Like, “Just snooze for 9 more minutes.”

Then, “Just sleep for 30 more mins, you can be late to work.”

Then, “Just skip work.”

Then, “Just quit your job.”

PLEASE DISABLE YOUR ADBLOCKER OR WHITELIST US! THANKS!

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Wolf Of Sesame Street

Is anyone else just eating whatever they want and telling themselves, “Once the gyms open up, that’s when it changes”? Anyone else? Like, WHAT IF a full box of brown sugar frosted Pop-Tarts is the cure for Coronavirus? It may not be, but Pop-Tarts is a more reasonable cure than bleach. PLEASE DISABLE YOUR ADBLOCKER […]

Is anyone else just eating whatever they want and telling themselves, “Once the gyms open up, that’s when it changes”? Anyone else? Like, WHAT IF a full box of brown sugar frosted Pop-Tarts is the cure for Coronavirus? It may not be, but Pop-Tarts is a more reasonable cure than bleach.

PLEASE DISABLE YOUR ADBLOCKER OR WHITELIST US! IT MEANS A LOT TO US! YOU’RE AWESOME, THANK YOU!

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Open House

Quarantine has changed our expectations when it comes to texting. You’re not busy. Reply faster. If I text you at 8:30 I want a reply at 8:29. PLEASE FOLLOW @LAMEBOOK ON INSTAGRAM! THANKS!

Quarantine has changed our expectations when it comes to texting. You’re not busy. Reply faster. If I text you at 8:30 I want a reply at 8:29. PLEASE FOLLOW @LAMEBOOK ON INSTAGRAM! THANKS!

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14 People Share Their Best Jokes That Flew Completely Over People’s Heads

For those of us who aren’t professional comics, attaining perfect comedic timing and delivery is a moment to be relished and appreciated. Unfortunately for the Redditors taking part in this thread, their brilliance went woefully unnoticed. We’re here to bring them the glory that they so deserve. 

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Text - thaidystopia 1T 37.4K 16h I was in America (I'm British) and met this dude whose name was Miles. He introduced himself to me infront of a group of people saying "Hey my name is Miles" but he pronounced it "Mi-uhls" like it was two separate syllables. I commented how I'd never heard anyone say it like that, and someone said, oh yeah? How do you say it in the UK? and without skipping a beat I said Kilometres. one dude lost his shit, 5 others kind of missed it and carried on talking Oh well!

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Text - Mangledhippo97 135.4K 2 .15h I was at a friend's house while she was having a friendly argument with her mum about being old enough to do what she likes. At one point the mother says "hey I brought you into this world and I can send you back up from where you came" at that point I shouted out in a parental tone "yeah, go to your womb!" No reaction at all.. just carried on with their conversation.

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Text - MulliganMG 21.6K 14h 2 My office had just redone the gym. They did a great job too, new machines, free weights, carpeting, locker rooms, etc. etc. It was unrecognizable. I'm down there, gettin swole (lol) when the CFO walks in and says, "wow, this is fancy." So I replied "yeah, in fact we're not calling it the gym anymore, now it's called the James." and he just turns around and walks out without even so much as a smirk. I was furious. The timing and cleverness of it was on point and this

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Text - 12h casualreader22 121.0K Senior year religion class at a Catholic High School. Our Deacon teacher asks us "Whats the two words you're not supposed to say to a Jehova's Witness?" The class was a wasteland of boredom. I, figuring what the hell, raised my hand and responded "Come In." Dead. Silence. Might as well as have had a tumbleweed rolling by. For the record the answer was "Happy Birthday."

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Text - ajcpullcom 20.0K 14h My wife and I were in a birthing class with about eight other pregnant couples. The teacher asked us to go around the room and say what we were most afraid of. Every other couple said the same thing: they just wanted their baby to be healthy. When it was my turn, I said, "We're terrified our baby won't be cute." Nobody laughed and everyone thought I was serious. I heard someone in the back whisper something like "he won't be good father." My wife and I laughed hysteri

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Text - 444thatsfour4s 116.3K *14h We were in 1st year of college studying our aircraft maintenance engineering apprenticeship and a guy asked, "is it true that when you flush the toilet on a plane it all gets sucked out of the back?". The lecturer said "no, think about it. At 35,000 ft a lump of number 2 would freeze instantly at -56C and solidify and get sucked into the engine and do a lot of damage". Then I said, "then the shit would hit the fan"

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Text - .16h ICameForMotorcity 114.4K I was in highschool, before first period, so the teacher wasn't even there yet. It was me, and three other girls I don't even remember the names of. One of them was going on and bragging about her boyfriend. Apparently, this dude cheated on her four times, and she's STILL with him As her two friends try to tell her to just drop him, the girl digs through her phone for pics of him. As she's scrolling, she kinda flirtily goes, "Oops, gotta find one that's PG ;)

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Text - 14h seraferous 1T 12.3K My husband and I were at Jeanettes Pier on the Outer Banks and there were stuffed eels in the gift shop. My husband said "What kind of eel do you think that is?"I responded with a question. "Do you love it?" I asked. He said yes, to which replied, " then.....t's a moray." That was 4 years ago, he still won't speak to me.

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Text - lucyanide 1 12.1K 17h One time I was in the car with my mum and I went to open the boo.. She warned me to be careful, that there was a butternut squash in there as she had just been shopping. On the spot, I replied "you'd butternut squash it" I wish I'd had more of an audience as no one else I've cracked the joke to has given me much credit but I'm glad her and I could laugh over it haha.

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Text - Meffrey_Dewlocks 110.9K 13h People were talking about Stephen Hawking passing away and someone mentioned he was British. Two teenage girls said they didn't realize he was from England I said "yea it's hard to tell since he lost his accent." No one laughed

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Text - ConsistentlyPeter 110.6K 9h Spent my lunch break doing a crossword, occasionally asking some clues out loud for people to help with - just to get them warmed up. Then, the ground having been prepared, I entered the final phase: "3 across- Overworked Postman." Someone took the bait: "How many letters?" And with a perfect deadpan delivery, I pounced on my prey: "Thousands." Nothing. NOTHING!!!

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Text - louislouislouis419.9K 13h Was chilling at a party when three of my friends who went to greek school together started speaking Greek to each other. My other friend showed up and asked me what they were saying. I shrugged and responded "Idk man, Its all greek to me". Joke went over his head and I still think about it daily

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Text - Blaspheming_Robot 19.4K 14h I have this giant Buddha statue which looks like it's made of solid stone. A friend was helping me pack for a move. She went to pick it up and almost threw it in the air commenting "I thought he would be much heavier." Without missing a second I said, "Oh, no. He's enLIGHTened." Nothing.

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Text - baronelectric 19.1K 13h I used to buy a couple hundred Cadbury eggs the day after Easter and eat one a day for the rest of the year. I was talking to a friend during the fall about eating one, and she says "But it's not Easter. . . "That's ok, " I reply. "I'm egg-nostic" The best pun I will ever make in my life, and I had an audience of one :-(

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