I’m still alive

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Teen mom

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Can we all just take a moment to appreciate that someone’s job is to make dildos?

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What you see vs. what animals see

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Look at this dog!

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Why I saved your number

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They’re just that dumb

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Some friends really know how to show you you’re fitting in

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I dare you to do that

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Women Logic Comp

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Wordy Memes & Humor For The Cunning Linguists

It’s easy to take communication for granted. And we shouldn’t. The ins and outs of language are actually fascinating, whether you’re talking about the written or spoken word. And there are so many jokes to be made about the words we use to convey information. Some of the examples in this gallery are pretty terrible puns, but there’s also a lot of cleverness. You may even learn something new.

1.

Text - Mitch @HxOvAx just discovered the joy of pronouncing all words ending with "cles" like "heracles". obstacles. tentacles. motorcycles. testicles. microparticles. popsicles. debacles. i love words and sounds

2.

Text - MARINE BIOLOGY PROFESSOR: So an octopus can change its color to mimic its surroundings. When octopi do this it's called- ME: An octo-lie. PROFESSOR: ...Metachrosis. МЕ: PROFESSOR: ME: Mocktopus.

3.

Text - rabbiteclair fun projects you can do at home convince all your friends that a single piece of macaroni is called a macaronus Source: rabbiteclair 23,206 notes A

4.

Text - BEES ACTIVE IN THIS AREA ENTRANCE EMPLOYEE MUST WASH HANDS "E.R." NEW underwear 50 THE CLUNK IN THE ELEVATOR.. BEWARE OF DOG" EK EACH WILL NOT HARM YOU!L "LIVE" LOBSTERŞ "RESTROOMS" LOCATED ON WOMEN OTHER SIDE OF BUILDING vlals unnecessary quotation mark appreciation board prettypinkdork There are few things as profoundly funny as unnecessary/ominous quotations.

5.

Text - The Correct Way to Spell Potato If GH can stand for P as in 'hiccough,' If OUGH can stand for O as in 'dough,' If PHTH can stand for T as in 'phthisis,' If EIGH can stand for A as in 'neighbour,' If TTE can stand for T as in 'gazette,' If EAU can stand for O as in 'plateau,' Then the correct way to spell potato would be GHOUGHPHTHEIGHTTEEAU.

6.

Text - Andrew Collin @AndrewTCollin A diss track is just two grown men sitting in separate rooms, writing poems about each other.

7.

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8.

Text - BANANA GRAMMAR 2323 BANANA BABA ANANNANA NANABA АВBА B AN NAB ANNA BANANNA BBBBBBBAN AAAAAAA NBA ΒΑNΑNA? NANANANANANANANA BANBAAA OERRAINEON

9.

Text - MARINE BIOLOGY PROFESSOR: So an octopus can change its color to mimic its surroundings. When octopi do this it's called- ME: An octo-lie. PROFESSOR: ...Metachrosis. МЕ: PROFESSOR: ME: Mocktopus.

10.

Text - Hannalore Gerling-Dunsmore @JoyofPhysics Me, as an undergrad, just starting upper level courses: THERE IS A PROFOUNDLY BEAUTIFUL REASON FOR ALL LAWS OF PHYSIOCS Me, as a perpetual graduate student: Light goes that fast because it wants to 1:19 PM · Jan 17, 2020 - Twitter Web App 4.1K Retweets 46.8K Likes Hannalore Gerling-Dunsmore @JoyofPhysics 20h Replying to @JoyofPhysics Me, now: light redshifts because it gets tired and blueshifts because it goes weeeeee going down the gravitational p

11.

Text - During the Cold War, the CIA considered airdropping XL condoms labeled "Medium" over the Soviet Union to demoralize the Soviet male population and make them feel anatomically inferior and afraid to fight the US. @americanaf Dammit, Ilove this country so much.

12.

Text - penny-anna In LOTR the word 'man' is only used for human men so now l'm imagining like Someone: are you a man or a woman? Pippin: I'm a hobbit Someone: but what's in your trousers Pippin: mostly snacks

13.

Text - Baby Boomer Juggalo Concerned Millennial Juggalos Won't Promote Same Dope- Ass Juggavalues Full story: thehardtimes.net

14.

Text - Brown Recluse @EISangito i quit doing comedy too but not because of PC culture or whatever but because most of us will never be as funny as this sign Walgreens phamacy drive thru GET YOUR SHONGLES SHIT TODAY 7:06 PM - Oct 3, 2019 - Twitter for iPhone 8.2K Retweets 39.3K Likes

15.

Headgear - British people when they hear 'kilometres per hour' instead of 'cups of tea per colonised nation' u/Educated Echidna *Earl Grey flavoured confusion*

16.

Text - setheverman all letters in my name are actually silent setheverman it's pronounced like *gust of wind* emeraldembers Are we talking a poetic autumn breeze or a fart here setheverman depends on your accent

17.

Text - Chat: "Can't" Email: "I cannot" Essay of 3,000 words: "Henceforth, I am unable to can"

18.

Fashion - Me walking into the scholastic book fair with $20 in my pocket about to buy 6 goosebumps and a lamborghini poster s MCL McL. SAT A IVE ON PA MA Vs M. SAT EO AYWEATHE OTION Mo CREG IVE

19.

Text - Art from Online @the_omega_sin I love that "take out" means food, dating, and murder. 07/03/2018, 05:53

20.

Pink - bitchycode neapolitan neaneanea polipolipoli tantantan neapolipoli neaneapoli politantan polipolitan neatantan neaneatan neaneapolitanpolineatanp mexipika Come get yalls neaneanea, tantantan, and polipolipoli Bregers Bregers Bregers NO SOSES naamahdarling I don't understand why this makes me angry instead of satisfies me, but it does

21.

Text - Brian Firenzi @mrbrianfirenzi In 1999, the movie Dick (about Nixon) came out, and it didn't stop playing at this drive-in theater all year long EDRIVE-IN EDRIVE-IN THE HAUNTING DICK MUPPETS FROM SPACE ANALYZE THIS DICK BIG DADDY EDRIVE-IN EDRIVE-IN 10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU BRINGING OUT THE DEAD DICK DICK VIRUS MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE

22.

Font - GOD Save THE QUEEN

23.

Text - Henry Sotheran Ltd @Sotherans ART COLLECTORS: my vault is hermetically sealed COMIC COLLECTORS: everything is ordered by issue and in plastic TOY COLLECTORS: I've never even opened this box BOOK COLLECTORS: (erupts from a pile of books) I have no idea what I was looking for when I started 11:34 AM 12 Feb 20

24.

Cartoon - HEAVENLY FATHER, THE HUMANS HAVE STARTED DOING SEX FOR ENJOYMENT. THE'VE ALSO STARTED SCREAMING YOUR NAME WHEN THEY CLIMAX. HMM... IT DOES TURN ME ON А ВТ. NOT GONNA LI... War and Peas 卡

25.

Text - COLLECTIVE NOUNS FOR ANIMAL GROUPS An exaltation of larks A leap of leopards A pride of lions A congregation of alligators A nest, army, colony, or swarm of ants A shrewdness or troop of apes A pace, herd, or drove of asses A troop of baboons A cete of badgers sloth or sieuth of bears A lounge of lizards A tiding of magpies A nest of mice A labor of moles A family or colony of beavers A grist, swarm, nest, or hive of bees A sounder or singular of boars An obstinacy, herd, troop, or gang o

26.

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27.

Text - lieutenant-sapphic Follow shakespeare is not pretentious. fans of shakespeare are pretentious. shakespeare is twelve hundred dirty jokes strung together by increasingly ridiculous plotlines and increasingly homosexual characters. don't let the archaic language fool you #textpostin' #shakespeare 61,129 notes A

28.

Text - FlatFootFox @FlatFootFox We don't deserve librarians. Pflugerville Library 8 hrs · O ATTENTION - there will be no snakes at this Friday's Anti Prom at the library. There was a typo in a local paper that said we will have snakes. We will have snacks. Snacks is what we will have. Not to say we have anything against snakes. In fact, snakes will be at the library in May during the Teen De-Stressing Day: Reptile Hangout, https://bit.ly/ 2D2BEjm. So, just to summarize: April 12. No snakes. 2, X

29.

Text - Kieran @KieranMSimpson common English mistakes: -mixing up there, their and they're -using the wrong too, to or two -using apostrophes for plurals -enslaving innocent people -putting commas in the wrong place

30.

Line art - NEW THINGS DEET! SNAFFF 27/8/14 B

31.

Text - THE CHRISTMAS WITCH @melaniefoxfire I'm not dyslexic you're dyslexic CLOTH GOWNS ONLY

32.

Text - Workin 9 to 9 For a man whose eye is creepy That's why I decide To assault him when he's sleepy But his heart still beats In the floorboards where I set it It's enough to drive me Crazy if I let it! Carolyn KelloggO @paperhaus - 1/19/20 Happy birthday to Edgar Allan Poe and Dolly Parton!

33.

Text - remsJ@ frostsmitten @enbyjirou calling your friend "brother from another mother" or "sister from another mister" - kinda boring - overdone - no gender neutral alternative calling your friend "a clown from the same circus" - grabs ur attention - what circus? tell me more - gender neutral - bond like no other

34.

Pelican - maverick-ornithography: pelcan Mouth perfec t size for put baby in to n\ap! inside very Soft and Comfort baby sleep soundly put baby in Pelican Mouth. Put Baby In Pelican Mouth. no problems ever in peliccan mouth because good Shape and Support for baby neck weak of big baby head. Apelican Mouth yes a place for a baby put baby in pelican mouth can trust pelican for giveing good love to baby. friend pelican this was written by a pelican

35.

Text - Gemma Milne @gemmamilne Just learnt that 'spinster' was originally the word for a woman so good at weaving that she was financially independent. HOW INTERESTING.

36.

Text - "MILLENNIAL SPEAK' IS NOTHING NEW, AS THESE ANCIENT LATIN PHRASES SHOW: 10 HORT AT Conscientia - Woke VST SIL Vere Bonum - On Fleek Increduli - Shook Itaaaaaaa - Yaaaaaaas Quis es? - Who dis? Adfectus - Feels Incendium - Lit Incendium In Excelsis - Lit AF Non Possum... - I can't even... Theatrum et Coitus Netflix and Chill The Mitish Bruseum

37.

Text - kisskissfallanddie 2 keep-calm-and-watch-... Follow iamscienceside: Science fact: The world around you is made up of protons, neutrons, morons, and electrons. 66,142 notes

38.

Text - kellhorreur: sadjadewithcake: French: ...Sixty-seven, sixty-eight, sixty-nine, sixty-ten... Other languages: **stares** French: **stares back** French: ...sixty-eleven, sixty-twelve, sixty-thirteen... French: ...sixty-sixteen, sixty-ten-seven... Other languages: *shutting eyes* French: ...sixty-ten-eight, sixty-ten-nine... Other languages: *hands over face* French: ...four twenties! :) Four twenties one...

39.

Cartoon - Norse German English Latin French Greek What the hell is this?

40.

Text - Hanne Blank @hanneblank WHY One of my students has used the word "fucktangular" in an informal essay to describe a situation that was complicated and messy in multiple unpleasant and difficult ways. Ilam in the presence of greatness and I am stealing this word.

41.

Text - Dewald @katvis5034 I slipper my finger inside her hole... I could immediately feel she was wet... Ipulled my finger out and within seconds she was going down on me... "I really need a new fucking boat!" | thought to myself 11:38 PM · 12/9/19 · Twitter for Android

42.

Text - I'm pronouncing females the same way as tamales from now on. Try to stop me

43.

Text - shoresoftheshadowla... starborn... Source: fuckyeahraget... mers witiI DEtter pIOPer ties Imeali sofme older materi nples are plastic buckets and carbon fibre tennis rack ene is a monomer used to make polyethene. erent monomers produce different polymers. macafena eh (polyethylenetetraphthalate) a low density and does not sh ymer chains can be altered by replacing hydrogen ato eh new polymer has its own set of properties and uses. lternative davemakesmybrokorogodirkydirky: WHY AM I LAUGHI

44.

Text - 16th Century: Thou art the reason 20th Century: You are the reason 21st Century: im crying Why you is the because

45.

Text - skinks the penalty box in hockey is such a funny concept to me. big fighty men go in the naughty cube. imprisoned for sports crimes runcibility Go to the terrarium and think about your punching, you knife-footed ice-gremlin

46.

Text - also michelangelo painted a baby angel flipping off the pope the blond one, you see his right hand? that's called the fig and it's an old world european gesture for 'fuck you" because apparently Pope Juluis II was a total raging asshole and everyone hated him but nobody ever noticed this little fucker because the ceiling was so high and then thirty years later they called michelangelo back to paint the wall behind the altar and he wasted no time in painting the gates of hell behind the po

47.

Text - Zoey Jordan Salsbury @zoeyjsalsbury I NEED SOMEONE TO GEEK OUT WITH ME ABOUT THESE BUSINESS CARDS me Website maggie@singingbearshop.com instagram email

48.

Text - ONE SHEEP TWO SHEEP BAAH ONE BAAH AMANDAPANDACOMICS.COM fIO @amandapandacomics @amanda_comics

49.

Text - officialunitedstates wife is pregnant, due any day suddenly the contractions start "CAN'T, WON'T, I'M, HAVEN'T, DON'T, ISN'T" she says mememic-bry "doc, it appears the contractions are worsening," the nurse says. in between breaths, the wife gasps and screeches, "Y'ALL'D'VE" Source: officialunitedstates 69,659 notes L

50.

Photo caption - In the 90s Arsenal Soccer Club had a player called David Dicks. When he was injured, the Newspaper wrote"Arsenal to play without Dicks". The coach was upset so the Newspaper changed the headline to read "Arsenal to play with Dicks out"... A record number of women attended the match. imgflip.com

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Every guy will get this

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Stairway to heaven

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26 Random Memes For Those With A Taste For Image-Based Humor

Pssst. Hey. You. Yeah, you. Heard you like memes. And we’ve got a lot of them. Dumb cat memes. Deep fried memes. Vintage memes and dad jokes galore. We’ve put a healthy handful together here for you, but guess what? Yeah,we’ve got more. Happy scrolling.

1.

Sitting - Nah fuck it, Pll get this done tomorrow" Yesterday me Today me getyimages DonNichols 155386216

2.

Human - (5*'v` *)ɔ @sergiyooooo0000 here's your ord-

3.

Photo caption - Have you ever seen anything happier than two dogs on a dinosaur

4.

Human - How Are You Feeling Today? Curl Moldy Shoe Endless Hot Wings Justin Timberlake Control-Alt- in 1998 Delete

5.

Photo caption - WTF CAT ON DA LAPTOP?! WHAT HE DOING?! Oh he just checking his online classes respect 100 100

6.

Land vehicle - Do Not Listen With the Intent To Reply But With The Intent To Understand Empathy is Wisdom BY - THIRD WORLDO QUALITY

7.

Job - Can you perform under pressure? No, but I can try Bohemian Rhapsody OPunHubOnline Pun hub

8.

Hair dryer - You know the drill, right? Yes Milwaukee 14 12 Hi, it's nice to see you again

9.

Facial expression - i'm coming out of my cage and i've been it started out with a kiss how did it end doing just fine gotta gotta be down because up like this i want it all it was it was only a kiss only a kiss

10.

Text - Swagever it's like whatever but with swag

11.

Product - Consider this a fucking warning Sorry wrong person Read 9:10 AM ... Who's the right person?! Who the hell is the right person?!

12.

Dog - Me minding my own business and enjoying my life

13.

Text - tag ur friend and their crush to ruin their life 1K Shares Like Comment Share 13K Roger Hello Jake, How are you? I hear that you are driving now having passed your test first time. Well done. I hope that all is well with you. Take care. Lots of love. Grandad March 27 · Unlike 55 · Reply

14.

Cat - Today 10:44 PM Hey, did you still wanna do something tonight? H D 035/1.09 Raccoon eats grapes with his little hands MKI MKI tv TV O Subscribe 122 11,727 + Add to Share ... More 102 I

15.

Text - The Playstation 4 is called the "Playstation 4" because it is the fourth playstation

16.

Cartoon - The "Mion Mario's hat stands for "Mario"

17.

Photo caption - when people compliment me on things i actually put effort into and things I'm really passionate about

18.

Wire - my headphones wire: my chair: delicious Finally, some good fucking food

19.

Illustration - DanyDeVito B

20.

Text - when ur first answer on a test was right but u changed it

21.

Head - Why does the opossum scream? @nocturnaltrashposts 1. World is a fuck 2. He angy 3. Why aren't you screaming?

22.

Text - millennial dad @partofaplan "hey, I would like to buy a candy bar with my membership card." "sure thing. that will be $345." "WTF?! $345?!!!" "well, without the card it's $5,450 dollars." "oh...that's not bad I guess." ^that's the American healthcare system

23.

Workwear - Don B. @BDonna_12 Me giving my friend advice that I don't take myself:

24.

Text - Me: God send me a sign and l'll stop talking to him God: *sends me sign* Me: GM20 That sign can't stop me because I can't read!

25.

Text - taco @tacodevourer yall ever say something in conversation and it physically feels like you just chose the incorrect dialogue option in a visual novel 5:20 PM · 29 Aug 18 20.3K Retweets 58.2K Likes

26.

Text - When the world is on fire, but you're still trying to get that degree

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