Twitter Is Getting Into The Spooky Spirit With ‘Fake Scary Movie Facts’

We’re knee deep in “Spooky Season“, and though there’s no trick or treating to look forward to, people are still finding myriad ways to celebrate. From binge-watching horror movies to posting skeleton memes, the Halloween spirit is very alive on the internet. On Twitter, users have been flexing their creativity and humor with the hashtag #FakeScaryMovieFacts. It’s pretty self explanatory: come up with a funny or dumb quip regarding your favorite bone-chilling film and then hurl it onto the timeline. While some of the tweets verge on cringe (cough politics cough). others showcase some serious wit. We’ve put all of our favorite examples here for your convenient perusal, but there’s loads more to be found on Twitter. Enjoy the spooky fun while it lasts!

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Too Hot

Dank Memes, Halloween Memes, Horror Movies, Pizza

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Pro Tips For Spooky Season

thespacemaid if anyone would like to learn a couple tricks for carving pumpkins: - dont cut out the top to scoop out the seeds, cut out the bottom instead. this way the pumpkin doesnt cave in on itself and lasts longer - sprinkle some cinnamon inside at the top after carving. this way when you put the candle in it smells like pumpkin pie topsiders-tanlines this is the quality content I wanna see

We may not be able to indulge in trick-or-treating, but at least our jack-o-lanterns will be poppin’ off. 

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Spooky Time!

Funny meme that reads, "It's the end of August you know what that means" above a photo of a man in a suit wearing a jack o' lantern as a head

It’s time for the PSL!

Submitted by: (via RoundThreeFIGHT)

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‘I Can’t Wait To Dress Up As The Coronavirus For Halloween,’ Says Man Who Will Be Dead By May

DUBLIN, OH—Eagerly expounding on what he described as “probably [his] best costume idea ever,” local 28-year-old Aiden Johnston, who sources confirmed will be dead by May, told reporters Wednesday he can’t wait to dress up as Covid-19 for Halloween. “Oh, man, it’d be so funny if I went as the coronavirus and my…

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Illustration for article titled ‘I Can’t Wait To Dress Up As The Coronavirus For Halloween,’ Says Man Who Will Be Dead By May

DUBLIN, OH—Eagerly expounding on what he described as “probably [his] best costume idea ever,” local 28-year-old Aiden Johnston, who sources confirmed will be dead by May, told reporters Wednesday he can’t wait to dress up as Covid-19 for Halloween. “Oh, man, it’d be so funny if I went as the coronavirus and my girlfriend went as the CDC—that would absolutely crush,” said Johnston, wondering aloud whether a bright-red, full-body spandex suit covered in ping-pong balls would sufficiently represent the virus that will begin wreaking havoc on his lungs in April and, within a matter of weeks, cause all of his major organs to shut down. “I wonder if there’s a way to get my dog in on it, too. I know my friends [half of whom will also reportedly die from Covid-19] would have a good laugh if I put a little surgical mask on him. Maybe I’ll even throw a quarantine-themed party and we can cover up all the windows with plastic and give out gloves and hand sanitizer at the door!” At press time, sources reported that Johnston had decided to get a head start on his costume by picking up a few things at a local Walmart, where he immediately contracted coronavirus from a shopping cart handle.

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Video Of Dinosaurs Crossing The Street Is Halloween At Its Finest

This ridiculous video of dinosaurs crossing the street in NYC and causing a general ruckus is going viral. There’s just something so wonderful about these beasts roaming the street. They look absurd and hilariously out of place, and we are all for it. 

This ridiculous video of dinosaurs crossing the street in NYC and causing a general ruckus is going viral. There’s just something so wonderful about these beasts roaming the street. They look absurd and hilariously out of place, and we are all for it. 

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Pumpkin-Filled Halloween For The Animals At Ilinois Zoo

The animals at Chicago’s Brookfield Zoo were in for a Halloween treat! Halloween pumpkins for all the animals, some chose to eat them and others decided to play with them! Overall, it was a success and a joy to watch!

Enjoy the pumpkin festivities and have a safe Halloween! 

The animals at Chicago’s Brookfield Zoo were in for a Halloween treat! Halloween pumpkins for all the animals, some chose to eat them and others decided to play with them! Overall, it was a success and a joy to watch!

Enjoy the pumpkin festivities and have a safe Halloween! 

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Haunted House Employee Gets Back At Snobby Kid

Happiness really can be found in the darkest of places. In this case, we have some devilish haunted museum tour employees deciding to take matters into their own hands when it came to dealing with a pack of unruly, snobby children. Sounds like the one kid was all talk after all. Getting rid of the tour guide to strip away their sense of safety was a brilliant touch. 

Happiness really can be found in the darkest of places. In this case, we have some devilish haunted museum tour employees deciding to take matters into their own hands when it came to dealing with a pack of unruly, snobby children. Sounds like the one kid was all talk after all. Getting rid of the tour guide to strip away their sense of safety was a brilliant touch. 

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Man Asks Every Trick-Or-Treater If They’re The Real Dracula Just In Case

CLIFTON, NJ—Saying he was unwilling to take any chances with his safety, local man Jay Tierney confirmed Thursday that he made sure to ask every trick-or-treater if they’re the real Dracula, just in case. “Obviously, Halloween can be a lot of fun, but if you show up at my doorstep with fangs and a cape, I’m gonna need…

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CLIFTON, NJ—Saying he was unwilling to take any chances with his safety, local man Jay Tierney confirmed Thursday that he made sure to ask every trick-or-treater if they’re the real Dracula, just in case. “Obviously, Halloween can be a lot of fun, but if you show up at my doorstep with fangs and a cape, I’m gonna need some answers in case I need to defend myself,” said Tierney, adding that, as a precaution, he kept a wooden stake and mallet behind the front door. “Usually, they say ‘No’ and I can just play it off like a joke, but better safe than sorry. I don’t want to end up a vampire myself, cursed to walk the night and feast on the blood of the innocent just because I was too embarrassed to ask a simple question. If a trick-or-treater ever does admit he’s Dracula, I’ll probably throw a Snickers in the yard and then lock the door while he’s picking it up.” At press time, Tierny peeked from behind a curtain as several costumed teens, among them possibly a real zombie and the actual Darth Vader, egged his house.

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Hand-Picked Skeleton Memes For The Spookiest Day Of The Year

Happy Halloween you skeleton-loving freaks! In honor of the occasion, we’ve picked out 16 dank skeleton memes that may or may not make sense to the normies. Either way, we hope you find them amusing!

Want even more spooky memes? Head on over to /r/DankMemes

Happy Halloween you skeleton-loving freaks! In honor of the occasion, we’ve picked out 16 dank skeleton memes that may or may not make sense to the normies. Either way, we hope you find them amusing!

Want even more spooky memes? Head on over to /r/DankMemes

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No Halloween Is Complete Without Animals In Costumes

Happy Halloween, goblins and ghouls! No Halloween is complete without sharing and seeing all the fun and creative costumes — humans and animals!

Especially, the animals. For us, at least. 

Here are 17 animal costumes we’ve come across that got us feeling the spooky excitement of All Hallows’ Eve! 

We want to see your pets dressed up! Share a picture with us, in the comments below!

Happy Halloween, goblins and ghouls! No Halloween is complete without sharing and seeing all the fun and creative costumes — humans and animals!

Especially, the animals. For us, at least. 

Here are 17 animal costumes we’ve come across that got us feeling the spooky excitement of All Hallows’ Eve! 

We want to see your pets dressed up! Share a picture with us, in the comments below!

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It’s Long Past Time For Jack-O’-Lanterns To Decide Once And For All If They Are On The Side Of Humans Or The Side Of Demons

Each fall, we welcome the sight of jack-o’-lanterns. They beautify our porches, light the paths to our doors, and, of course, frighten evil spirits away from the premises. As we wonder what lurks behind their mischievous grins, these pumpkins add a sense of mystery to our Halloweens. A bit too much mystery, in my…

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Each fall, we welcome the sight of jack-o’-lanterns. They beautify our porches, light the paths to our doors, and, of course, frighten evil spirits away from the premises. As we wonder what lurks behind their mischievous grins, these pumpkins add a sense of mystery to our Halloweens. A bit too much mystery, in my view, for we never know where their true allegiance lies. Are they loyal to humans? Or would they rather obey the orders of demons?

Enough is enough, I say! The time has come for jack-o’-lanterns to tell us whether they stand with us or against us.

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Here’s how things are supposed to work: We give these festive seasonal gourds a prime spot outside our homes each October, decorating them and tending to them. In return, they serve as our guardians, keeping demonic forces at bay. But how can we be sure the jack-o’-lanterns stick to their end of the bargain? Sure, they add autumnal zest to my patio, but perhaps they also chatter with devils behind my back, conspiring to murder me. There is nothing to stop them from playing both sides in the eternal war between good and evil. Well, this uneasy alliance can stand no longer! They must join one cause or the other!

As I wander the streets each night, I genuinely enjoy the spooky fun provided by a glowing pumpkin on a stoop. I want to believe it has rightfully taken its place among the fake cobwebs in the windows, the bundle of Indian corn on the door, and the cackling animatronic witch in the yard, but I don’t know if I can trust it. A few jack-o’-lanterns evince pure evil, such as those bearing the wicked visage of Pinhead; others are clearly benign, having been carved into a friendly character like Garfield the cat. But most of them are a rough likeness of our faces, leaving me to wonder whether their crooked, toothy smiles are an affectionate tribute to humanity or a cruel simulacrum intended to mock us.

Goddammit, which is it? Is the flame that flickers in each hollowed-out ornamental squash the light of God’s abundant grace—or a spark of hellfire belching forth from the underworld?

I warn the kids in my neighborhood not to play near them. After all, what if this commonplace piece of holiday decor devours children’s souls and consigns them to eternal damnation? If so—if jack-o’-lanterns are indeed minions of the devil—then humanity must be protected at all costs. This is a task I am willing to take upon myself, not resting until every last jagged-mouthed pumpkin-beast has been caved in with a baseball bat. The streets will run orange with their wax-drenched innards.

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For those jack-o’-lanterns who have yet to pick sides, I have a simple message: It’s not too late. The world is a dark and confusing place, and you may think the demons have more to offer. But I urge you to think about what you want your legacy to be, late in November, when you’re rotting on a doorstep. Do you want to be a hero or a traitor? If we work together, we can fight sinfulness, spread righteousness, and make this Halloween the most wonderful night of our lives.

Then, building on our new alliance, we can combine forces and at long last fulfill our true destiny as we kill Satan and crown ourselves the rulers of hell.

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Pumpkin Carving Tips

Carving jack-o’-lanterns from pumpkins is one of the most fun and rewarding Halloween activities. The Onion offers tips for pumpkin carving that will make your jack-o’-lantern the envy of the neighborhood.

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Carving jack-o’-lanterns from pumpkins is one of the most fun and rewarding Halloween activities. The Onion offers tips for pumpkin carving that will make your jack-o’-lantern the envy of the neighborhood.


Beat the crowd and buy your pumpkin in January.


Before beginning carving, give your pumpkin a shot of whiskey and something to bite down on.

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Apply steady pressure around incision to prevent major puree loss.


Scrape out the insides until you get down to the lit candle at the center.


Lower your expectations.


Place the pumpkin in the center of a circle of salt. This prevent slugs and snails from feasting on the gourd that contains the soul of the man who wronged you.


Keep in mind that every mistake is final and will be an extreme blow to your ego.

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Bind your wound with a thick bandage to prevent blood loss and have a friend drive you to the hospital.

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Make sure to save one seed so you can grow next year’s pumpkin.


Remember that at the end of the day, no one actually gives a shit what your pumpkin looks like.

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Fifteen Clever Meme Halloween Costumes

From Ight Imma Head Out to the Ancient Aliens guy on the Discovery Channel, these people really went all out with the meme-inspired Halloween costumes. And in case you’re in need of a very last-minute costume, these might give you a little inspiration.

From Ight Imma Head Out to the Ancient Aliens guy on the Discovery Channel, these people really went all out with the meme-inspired Halloween costumes. And in case you’re in need of a very last-minute costume, these might give you a little inspiration.

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Animals Of Instagram Spotlight Of The Week: Rover, The Cat

Once a week, we will be featuring an extraordinary animal account on Instagram! Their story, the adorable pictures, and pawesome videos! This week’s spotlight goes to Rover, the cat

Meet Rover! Described as a sassy adventure cat who is just living the best of his nine lives! Rover is also a master Runway model, so you can except to see him workin’ that catwalk like he owns it. 

Here are some of Rover’s top moments: 

Once a week, we will be featuring an extraordinary animal account on Instagram! Their story, the adorable pictures, and pawesome videos! This week’s spotlight goes to Rover, the cat

Meet Rover! Described as a sassy adventure cat who is just living the best of his nine lives! Rover is also a master Runway model, so you can except to see him workin’ that catwalk like he owns it. 

Here are some of Rover’s top moments: 

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An Assortment Of Spooky Memes Right In Time For Halloween

Let’s get fricken spooky up in here, y’all. We’re just a few days away from Halloween and if you don’t have your costume picked out then it’s time to get on that ASAP. Just in case you don’t have any ideas, we’ve got some right here for you. Now please enjoy the following memes!

Let’s get fricken spooky up in here, y’all. We’re just a few days away from Halloween and if you don’t have your costume picked out then it’s time to get on that ASAP. Just in case you don’t have any ideas, we’ve got some right here for you. Now please enjoy the following memes!

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Simon’s Cat Halloween Special ‘Bat Cat’

Halloween is just around the corner and we’re loving all the Holiday themed-shorts, costumes, and other Halloweenie decor things being shared! 

Simon’s Cat is joining the festivities with this adorable new short titled, ‘Bat Cat’. 

Will Simon’s Cat come to the rescue of a terrified Simon? Watch and find out! 

Halloween is just around the corner and we’re loving all the Holiday themed-shorts, costumes, and other Halloweenie decor things being shared! 

Simon’s Cat is joining the festivities with this adorable new short titled, ‘Bat Cat’. 

Will Simon’s Cat come to the rescue of a terrified Simon? Watch and find out! 

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Is Dressing Up Your Cat For Halloween a Good Idea

Halloween is almost here and most cat owners have already thought of an adorable costume for their cat. But before you dress up your kitty as a lion, there are few things you should take into consideration. Cats tend to be a lot more sensitive and emotional than most dogs, which is why you see far fewer cats dressed up for Halloween than dogs. The people at Cattime have a few suggestions on how to determine if dressing up your cat is a good idea. 

Some cats are more outgoing with inquisitive personalities, the need to meet every guest who comes by your house, and the insatiable desire for affection. 

If your cat is one of those more outgoing types who doesn’t scare easily, then it may be fine to dress them up in a Halloween costume, especially if they’ve been used to it since they were a little kitten. 

But if you have a more sensitive and skittish cat, you may want to think twice. Some cats shy away from too much contact and can get overstimulated really easily. If your cat isn’t the type to relish a lot of pets, and if they run and hide when the doorbell rings, you might not want to make them even more upset by dressing them up. Since it’s Halloween, you’ll likely get a lot of neighbors ringing the doorbell. So don’t make an anxious cat even more upset by adding a costume to the mix.

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Best Dog Costumes From The New York Halloween Dog Parade

New York City’s dogs are already in the right Halloween spirit and showed off their finest costumes at the 29th Annual Tompkins Square Halloween Dog Parade this weekend. These dogs and their owners were not messing around as they paraded through the park in their elaborate ensembles and matching outfits. Keep scrolling to see some of our favorite costumes from this year’s parade.

New York City’s dogs are already in the right Halloween spirit and showed off their finest costumes at the 29th Annual Tompkins Square Halloween Dog Parade this weekend. These dogs and their owners were not messing around as they paraded through the park in their elaborate ensembles and matching outfits. Keep scrolling to see some of our favorite costumes from this year’s parade.

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Thirty-Two Memes & Pics For Anyone Obsessed With Halloween

We’ve been counting down to Halloween since September, but we’re finally in the home stretch. Our favorite spooky holiday is less than a week away, but there are a ton of costume parties and festivities this weekend. Why not celebrate with a big ol’ dump of witchy, spooky, Halloween-y memes and pics? 

We’ve been counting down to Halloween since September, but we’re finally in the home stretch. Our favorite spooky holiday is less than a week away, but there are a ton of costume parties and festivities this weekend. Why not celebrate with a big ol’ dump of witchy, spooky, Halloween-y memes and pics? 

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Dude Goes As Kermit The Frog For Wild Night Out, Gets Stained Green for 3 Days

Even through all of the tears, self doubt, and eventual skin staining, this couple still managed to do well in the costume contest. All in all, there are worse Halloween costumes. Plus, there are way worse reasons someone can get Shrek’d with green dye.

Even through all of the tears, self doubt, and eventual skin staining, this couple still managed to do well in the costume contest. All in all, there are worse Halloween costumes. Plus, there are way worse reasons someone can get Shrek’d with green dye.

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Creepy Medical Jack-O-‘Lanterns Perfect For Some Nightmare Fuel

If you’re still trying to figure out how to carve your pumpkins this Halloween, let these pics give you a little bit of inspiration. Who knew doctors had such a sick and twisted sense of humor? Like, imagine walking into a hospital needing surgery and seeing this creepy sh*t. Nightmares galore.

If you’re still trying to figure out how to carve your pumpkins this Halloween, let these pics give you a little bit of inspiration. Who knew doctors had such a sick and twisted sense of humor? Like, imagine walking into a hospital needing surgery and seeing this creepy sh*t. Nightmares galore.

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Nation’s Moms Get Started On Their Sorta-Funky Witch Costumes

AKRON, OH—Laughing as they tried on quirky combinations of colorful wigs and striped thigh-high socks, the nation’s moms announced Wednesday that they had officially begun putting together their sorta-funky witch costumes for Halloween. “This year, I’m going to wear some bright pink eyeshadow, paint my nails blue, and…

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AKRON, OH—Laughing as they tried on quirky combinations of colorful wigs and striped thigh-high socks, the nation’s moms announced Wednesday that they had officially begun putting together their sorta-funky witch costumes for Halloween. “This year, I’m going to wear some bright pink eyeshadow, paint my nails blue, and then hand out candy in a big, silly, pointy hat,” said an ecstatic 42-year-old Janet Fersby, who, along with tens of millions of other moms, subsequently announced plans to go to the craft store and pick up some “absolutely kooky” stickers and patches to place all over their fun, colorful skirts. “Also, this year, when kids knock on the door, I’m going to hold a big rainbow cauldron full of candy and do my funny cackle, just like in the movies. And even though I wore them last year, those glow stick bracelets are coming straight out of the supply closet and going onto my funky witch arms.” At press time, the nation’s dads were picking out a regular flannel shirt to wear while taking the kids trick-or-treating.

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Twitter Users Share Costumes That Shouldn’t Be Sexy

With spooky season upon us, and Halloween looming ominously around the corner it’s time to start thinking about a costume. In this case, Twitter users are sharing their hot takes on all those Halloween costumes that ended up looking sexy, even though they shouldn’t have been on an objective level. 

With spooky season upon us, and Halloween looming ominously around the corner it’s time to start thinking about a costume. In this case, Twitter users are sharing their hot takes on all those Halloween costumes that ended up looking sexy, even though they shouldn’t have been on an objective level. 

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Everything You Need To Know About ‘Luigi’s Mansion 3’

Just in time for Halloween, everyone’s favorite ghostbusting plumber is finally back to rid the world of ghosts and mischievous spirits. Here’s everything you need to know about Luigi’s Mansion 3 before its upcoming release.

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Just in time for Halloween, everyone’s favorite ghostbusting plumber is finally back to rid the world of ghosts and mischievous spirits. Here’s everything you need to know about Luigi’s Mansion 3 before its upcoming release.


Takes place in a terrifying hotel that boasts none of the robust benefits Marriott Bonvoy™ members earn just by going on vacation with the world’s most renowned hospitality group.

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Luigi’s catchphrase has been changed from, “Let’s-a-go!” to the much clunkier, “My name is Luigi and I hate ghosts—Why? I don’t know why. There isn’t an explanation for everything. Anyway, here I go.”


Marks the first appearance of Gooigi, a Luigi made out of green gelatinous matter who is already the subject of more than four terabytes’ worth of fan-made pornography.

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Room 412 in the hotel reportedly contains the ghosts of a goomba, his wife, and her boyfriend. The husband followed the lovers to their room, then slaughtered them both before killing himself.

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In a switch for the franchise, the game’s horror will come from Luigi realizing that, for all the frights of the haunted mansion, he still prefers being trapped inside with its terrors to living out his days emasculated in Mario’s shadow.

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The gameplay still revolves around players using a vacuum cleaner to battle ghosts, which, as we all know, aren’t real. Right? There’s just no way.

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Producer Kensuke Tanabe denied in an official statement that Princess Peach finally dies in this one, but we all know how much Tanabe’s horseshit promises are worth.

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Halloween Pop-Up Store Has Pick Of Every Storefront In Rust Belt Town

BRIDGEPORT, MI—Saying it would be almost impossible to whittle down all the options, sources confirmed Friday that Halloween pop-up store Spooky City could take its pick of just about any storefront in the rust belt town where it intended to operate until October 31. “Well, I’m seeing a lot of empty windows, so at…

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BRIDGEPORT, MI—Saying it would be almost impossible to whittle down all the options, sources confirmed Friday that Halloween pop-up store Spooky City could take its pick of just about any storefront in the rust belt town where it intended to operate until October 31. “Well, I’m seeing a lot of empty windows, so at least we’ll have plenty of room to display our costumes and hopefully lure some folks in,” said Spooky City proprietor Curtis Hawkins, noting that except for the Exxon station, the Goodwill store, and a vape shop, every single retail space he looked at on Main Street was vacant. “I could set up shop in the shuttered Kmart. Looks like I could take just about any place in that strip mall off the interstate, too. I’d use one of these old grocery stores, but they’re all clearly falling down.” At press time, reports confirmed the pop-up store had gone out of business two weeks before Halloween.

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Dress Your Cat As a Pancake: Online Bootique Offers Unique Pet Costumes

For pet owners that are looking for more than those regular pet costumes on Amazon, Tickeybootique on etsy offers eye-catching and bespoke outfits including a pancake set with a spoonful of melted butter and syrup atop a stack of pancakes. The company product line also includes donut costumes, astronaut costumes, and avocado costumes for an ultra-chic aesthetic. Check it out.

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Insane Hairstyles For The Incredibly Ambitious Parent (16 Pics)

Are you a competitive parent? Do you want your kid to kick the other kids’ asses on wacky hair day at school? If so, you’ve come to the right place. Let these pics serve as some inspiration. 

And even if you’re not a parent and/or hate kids, you’ll probably still find these creative hairstyles to be pretty damn impressive!

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Oblivious Woman Ignores Spooky Warning Signs At Open House

Twitter user @RantingOwl, ignored a series of very ominous red flags while she was touring an open house with her partner. The basement with the suspicious door that had like 10 locks on it sounds like bad news. The fact that the woman showing them the place didn’t even have a decent explanation handy makes the whole picture take on an even spookier vibe. 

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Halloween Spirit: Husky Pranked By a Wolf Mask

With Halloween right around the corner, the people behind the successful youtube page, MyMountainHusky, decided to see how Sky and Kakoa would react to our New Wolf Mask they bought at the store. They have used scent away spray to hide their owner’s scent and hopefully stop them from sniffing him out right away. Check out their funny reaction. 

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First Sneak Attack In Progress, Please Pretend To Act Scared

All kittens need some encouragement that they’re doing an amazing job at being a cat! And we’re here to promote that encouragement with these 12 “sneak” attacks that are truly terrifying. 

In honor of Spooktober, let these scary balls of purrfection sneak up on you with no interruptions. And it wouldn’t kill you to act a bit scared. 

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‘Scaredy Cat’ Is The Purrfect Comic To Welcome Spooktober

As written on Heather Franzen Rutten’s website,

“On a dark night, a little kitten curiously wanders into a pumpkin patch. He soon becomes scared of the pumpkin patch’s inhabitants and wishes to return home… Luckily, the kitten meets a friend who teaches him that some things are not as scary as they appear to be.

Scaredy Cat has no text, giving readers the freedom to create their own narratives and interpretations.”

You can follow Franzen’s work on Instagram as well!

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Painfully Relatable Jack-O-Lanterns Are Spooky AF (24 Tweets)

The entire internet seems to be leaning into “Spooktober” this year, and the phenomenon is creating some freakishly relatable content. Creative marketing agency Article Group has gotten in on the fun by tweeting some blank Jack-O-Lantern templates with the following caption: 

“What’s a terrifying thing from your everyday life you’d write on a “painfully relatable jack-o-lantern”? Write your answer on one of these pumpkins. Winner gets a trophy!”

Their followers gleefully obliged. Their contributions are mostly work-related, but some of them are the kind of shudder-worthy experiences that leave us filled with dread. Example: being left on read for three hours. We’ve put together a selection of our favorites, but you can take on the whole thread right here

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Spooky Cardboard Mansion: Every Cat’s Dream Realized

Happy October! This month is filled with Halloween goodness and we’re kicking off with this aww-dorable Halloween cardboard mansion! 

It’s actually a cat scratcher but will fool everyone (including your cat) into thinking your cat is a Dark Lord of Hallows Eve!

Check out these furr-monsters enjoying their new spooky digs! 

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The Most Terrifying Horror Games Of All Time

With Halloween just around the corner, OGN is paying tribute to the absolute greatest scares in gaming history. Read on, if you dare, for the most terrifying horror games of all time.


Luigi’s Mansion:

A sharp departure from the main Mario Bros. series, this cosmic body-horror survival game marks the beginning of Nintendo’s obsession with Luigi’s decaying psyche.

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DOOM:

The 1993 original will forever be remembered in video game history as the game that introduced humankind to the spooky concept of hell.


The House Of The Dead:

This light-gun title’s horror is purely psychological. It reveals the depraved monsters all humans are capable of becoming, how quickly we as a species resort to violence if we are merely charged by a ravenous, hemorrhaging zombie.

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F.E.A.R.:

A classic FPS that allowed players to step into the shoes of a real F.E.A.R. agent, working with members of B.O.O., S.C.A.R.Y., and A.H.H.

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Inside:

This universally acclaimed indie darling dared to ask the question: “What would a horror game look like if it won several awards?”

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Pokémon Snap:

The inspiration for many later horror games like Outlast and Fatal Frame, this N64 classic left children screaming as they were trapped on a slow-moving railcar, a captive audience to dozens of horrifying wild pocket monsters. The player has no means of protection and only possesses a camera to photograph the objects of their horror.

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Fester’s Quest:

Incredible that such a simple NES game could cause such a horrifying, irreparable rift between our brothers. But here we are, 30 years later, and we still do not trust each other.

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Alan Wake:

Remedy’s quirky, richly detailed psychological thriller enchanted gamers all over the world upon release in 2010, only for the seemingly inevitable sequel to vanish off the face of the Earth for over a decade. And when you think about it, that—that waiting, that dwindling of hope, that slow extinction of anticipation, fading out of your life like the last embers of a dying star—that’s the greatest horror of all, isn’t it?

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Dank Spooktober Memes For The Halloween-Obsessed

If you love all things autumn and Halloween, then you’ve come to the right place. And if you haven’t guessed by now, dank memers are effing obsessed with Spooktober. If you’re craving even more spooky memes, head on over to /r/DankMemes, where they will literally not stop coming until November 1st.

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Bootleg Costumes With Creative Loophole Names

People need costumes and they don’t give a damn if they’re legit. It takes a precise and creative mind to come up with a costume name that gets the point across without infringing on copyright law. That or, I guess you could just call it “Butt Surprise.” Anyway, here are more off-brand costumes that are just legal enough.

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Off-Brand Costumes That Are Just Legal Enough

Spooktober is just around the corner and our favorite bootleg crap is filling up store shelves. Costume makers will jump through some amazing hoops in order to not get dinged for intellectual property infringement and the results are pretty awesome. Can we interest you in dressing up as Blue Speed Mouse for halloween? Or how about you favorite Evil Midweek Cutie? For some actually spooky stuff to gear you up for haloween, check out these two-sentence horror stories.

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Dad Critiques Parents Who Hand Out Cheap Halloween Candy

This dad went off on his Facebook post about how he’s just plain old fed up with parents handing out cheap Halloween candy to kids. It’s got just the right amount of delusional choosing beggar entitlement that we’re fairly confident it’s got to be a joke. There’s just no way a dad would go this far. We’ve got to hope, at least. 

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Ridiculous Knockoff Halloween Costumes For The Cheap-Asses

Halloween is only about a month away, which means it’s just about time for spooky season and planning out your Halloween costume. The following costumes aren’t good ones by any means, but they are extremely amusing and great for if you’re feeling particularly cheap!

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Live Out Your Dream Of Becoming A Chicken With Chicken Leg Stockings

Finally! You can live out your fantasy of becoming a chicken with novelty chicken-leg stockings! The hilarious socks will without a doubt break the ice and be the center of any (and every) conversation you’ll have while wearing them. Are you ready for all that attention and responsibility? 

If yes, you can find the amazing stockings here on Amazon! The best part? They’re less than $10! Don’t be chicken…be a chicken! 

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‘Spirit Halloween’ Memes Great For Taking Over Empty Warehouses

It’s past September 1st, which means that Spirit Halloween stores are popping up anywhere there’s an empty warehouse. We don’t mind though, because it means we’ll always be Halloween-ready at the drop of a hat. Not to mention, we’re really feeling those spooky vibes right now. 

Browse through these memes and get those Halloween costume ideas ready, people.

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Halloween 2019: Adorable Costumes For Your Pet

Halloween is approaching! You have a little over a month to make sure your pet is ready for the year’s spookiest and sweetest holiday. The following list of pet costumes will help you find the perfect outfit for your pet and get their Halloween shopping done right now.

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Spooky Memes For Those Who Can’t Wait For Spooktober (18 Memes)

These memes are for all you summer haters who are chomping at the bit for Spooktober to finally get here. We feel you, summer can seem pretty drawn-out at times and autumn feels like a brand new start. 

So whether you live in a place where it’s still 80 degrees outside, or the crisp fall weather is finally starting to hit, we hope you can appreciate these spooky, spoopy memes.

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Funny Times October 2019 Issue

Cartoons about Environment . Treasures . Birdfeeders . Cats . Halloween . Social Media . Witches . Fashion .  and more!

With cartoons by:  Isabella Bannerman, Lynda Barry, Bizarro, Harry Bliss, Ruben Bolling, Matt Bors, Martin Bucella, Jack Compère, Todd Condron, Dave Coverly,  J.C. Duffy, Bob Eckstein, Chuck Finley, Martha Gradisher, Judy Horacek, John Jonik, John Kastner, Ham Khan, Keith Knight, L.J. Kopf, Peter Kuper, Mary Lawton, Scott Masear, Brian McFadden, Chris Monroe, P.S. Mueller, Drew Panckeri, Mark Parisi, Joel Pett, Rina Piccolo, Hilary Price, Ted Rall, Leigh Rubin, Crowden Satz, Maria Scrivan, Jim Shoenbill, Jen Sorensen, Mark Stivers, Tom Toles, Tom Tomorrow, Shannon Wheeler, Chris Wildt, Ken Wilkie, Matt Wuerker, Zippy … and lots more!

In This Issue:

When The Last Kid Moves Out
By Raymond Lesser

The Borowitz Report
By Andy Borowitz

Greenwashing The White House
By Will Durst

Beyond 2525
By Jim Nolan

Exit Through The Gift Shop
By Gretchen Volk

Feed The Birds
By Jackie Allison

Stories From The Cat House
By Tim Jones

How To Debate A Topic On The Internet
By Janet Periat

President Delivers Rally Speech Naked, No One Notices
By Chris Hume

Useful New Use-By And Warning Labels
By Howard Zaharoff

The Way It’s Done
By Billie B. Little

Looking Good, Dad!
By Peter McKay

Trendlandia
By Robert Moll

PLUS:

Cartoons about Halloween
Wrapping Our Minds Around Alzheimer’s – a special feature by Ted Rall
Curmudgeon looks at Cats
Dave Maleckar’s 100 Word Rant
News Of The Weird
Harper’s Index
Cartoons about Witches
News & Political Cartoons
Cartoons about Entertainment

More Funny Stuff …

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Spooky Autumn Memes For The Summer-Haters (15 Memes)

These memes are for everyone who’s just over the hot weather and ready for scarves, pumpkins, and Christian Girl Autumn. Sweating and sunburns are so last season anyway. 

And, you know, it may only be August but who gives a f*ck – bring on the PSLs. Does this make us basic white girls? Probably, but guess what, haters gonna hate.

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