Grandpa Hates Banana Bread, Eats It For Years Out Of Love

Grandpa must’ve had nightmares about that banana bread. This story goes, that a loving family was baking their grandpa special banana bread, because they assumed that he loved it. As it turns out, this was a massive miscommunication, and grandpa actually despised the bread. Um, hilarious and wholesome, and adorable. Grandpa sounds like a true legend. 

Grandpa must’ve had nightmares about that banana bread. This story goes, that a loving family was baking their grandpa special banana bread, because they assumed that he loved it. As it turns out, this was a massive miscommunication, and grandpa actually despised the bread. Um, hilarious and wholesome, and adorable. Grandpa sounds like a true legend. 

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People Imagine Gordon Ramsay Roasting Their Kitchens

Gordon Ramsay would have his way with a whole lot of kitchens out there. The infamous wordsmith, the roast master, the creator of such savage rare insults that people melt before his eyes, would no doubt tear into most kitchens. It’s just part of what he does. That being said, these folks offered up their kitchen setups as tribute to a fun thread about how Gordon Ramsay would roast them to oblivion. Check out people’s favorite Gordon Ramsay insults over here.

Gordon Ramsay would have his way with a whole lot of kitchens out there. The infamous wordsmith, the roast master, the creator of such savage rare insults that people melt before his eyes, would no doubt tear into most kitchens. It’s just part of what he does. That being said, these folks offered up their kitchen setups as tribute to a fun thread about how Gordon Ramsay would roast them to oblivion. Check out people’s favorite Gordon Ramsay insults over here.

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Answers To How Much Food A Hamster Can Fit Inside Their Cheeks (Video)

The age old question of “how much food could a hamster fit inside their cheeks?,” is being answered thanks to BBC Earth!

Finally, the important questions are being asked!

This lil hamster can fit up to 20% of his own body mass in his cheek pouches! 20%!

….But how will he fit through his tunnel?

The age old question of “how much food could a hamster fit inside their cheeks?,” is being answered thanks to BBC Earth!

Finally, the important questions are being asked!

This lil hamster can fit up to 20% of his own body mass in his cheek pouches! 20%!

….But how will he fit through his tunnel?

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Funny Thread Suggests The Dorito Name Is Some Dark Magic Crap

We covered that Triscuit name-origin story the other day, and the internet has already taken that twitter thread and spawned some much funnier shit. Writer Chuck Wendig‘s spin on the tale is our favorite. It’s quite a bit darker than the Triscuit saga, and involves one of our favorite snacks: Doritos. We have to admit that Wendig had us in the first half of the thread (not gonna lie), but things quickly spiral into deliciously unbelievable territory. And right now, we need all the fantastical and stupid tales we can get.

We covered that Triscuit name-origin story the other day, and the internet has already taken that twitter thread and spawned some much funnier shit. Writer Chuck Wendig‘s spin on the tale is our favorite. It’s quite a bit darker than the Triscuit saga, and involves one of our favorite snacks: Doritos. We have to admit that Wendig had us in the first half of the thread (not gonna lie), but things quickly spiral into deliciously unbelievable territory. And right now, we need all the fantastical and stupid tales we can get.

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An Author’s Imaginative Thread On Doritos’ Supernatural Origins

Author, Chuck Wendig’s, wild and imaginative Twitter thread about the spooky origins of Doritos, and how they “bake souls” into their chips is clearly a silly reference to the recent Twitter thread about the electric origins of Triscuits. That being said, this is just the kind of absurd rabbit hole that is clearly a ton of nonsense, that we enjoy.

Author, Chuck Wendig’s, wild and imaginative Twitter thread about the spooky origins of Doritos, and how they “bake souls” into their chips is clearly a silly reference to the recent Twitter thread about the electric origins of Triscuits. That being said, this is just the kind of absurd rabbit hole that is clearly a ton of nonsense, that we enjoy.

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Employee Gets Ant Revenge On Office Food Thief

There’s nothing quite like the satisfaction of catching someone red handed, and deeply humiliating or inconveniencing them in the process. We’ve seen a guy get satisfying padlock revenge on gym thief as well as habanero cake revenge on food stealing roommates. This one, however, uses fear.

There’s nothing quite like the satisfaction of catching someone red handed, and deeply humiliating or inconveniencing them in the process. We’ve seen a guy get satisfying padlock revenge on gym thief as well as habanero cake revenge on food stealing roommates. This one, however, uses fear.

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Quarantined Twitter User Shares Brilliant Recipe For ‘Totwaffles’

With so many people on coronavirus lockdown or in quarantine, and so few options on the grocery shelves, people are having to get creative in the kitchen. Twitter user @mspowahs is familiar with this plight, and took to the website with a bit of a recipe hack for people with limited resources. All you need for the majestic “Totwaffle” is frozen tater tots, a waffle iron, and if you’re feeling freaky “Syrupchup.” Yes, that’s an ungodly mixture of syrup and ketchup. We’re stoked to try the recipe, and can’t wait to see more quarantine creations as people get even more desperate. Bon appetit!

With so many people on coronavirus lockdown or in quarantine, and so few options on the grocery shelves, people are having to get creative in the kitchen. Twitter user @mspowahs is familiar with this plight, and took to the website with a bit of a recipe hack for people with limited resources. All you need for the majestic “Totwaffle” is frozen tater tots, a waffle iron, and if you’re feeling freaky “Syrupchup.” Yes, that’s an ungodly mixture of syrup and ketchup. We’re stoked to try the recipe, and can’t wait to see more quarantine creations as people get even more desperate. Bon appetit!

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Quarantine Hack: Twitter Thread On The Epic Totwaffle

Ada Powers hooked it up with this amazing quarantine hack, amidst the Coronavirus. We’re talking about an in-depth explanation on how to create the Totwaffle. It sounds like a pretty dang tasty dish, as well as a fun rare insult to try on someone, if the moment ever calls for it. 

Ada Powers hooked it up with this amazing quarantine hack, amidst the Coronavirus. We’re talking about an in-depth explanation on how to create the Totwaffle. It sounds like a pretty dang tasty dish, as well as a fun rare insult to try on someone, if the moment ever calls for it. 

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Viral Monkey Video Displays Their Humane Manners

Monkeys have more manners and perhaps act more human than humans themselves, at times. 

And we’ve got proof. In a viral monkey video shared on Twitter by user @klarasjo, you can clearly see each monkey grab one of what looks to be a boa bun for food, and not selfishly hoard multiples for oneself. They simple take one and leave. 

Err..  at least a majority of them do. 

@klarasjo wishes for us humans to take note. The monkeys are doing a way better job at handling this madness than us. 

Monkeys have more manners and perhaps act more human than humans themselves, at times. 

And we’ve got proof. In a viral monkey video shared on Twitter by user @klarasjo, you can clearly see each monkey grab one of what looks to be a boa bun for food, and not selfishly hoard multiples for oneself. They simple take one and leave. 

Err..  at least a majority of them do. 

@klarasjo wishes for us humans to take note. The monkeys are doing a way better job at handling this madness than us. 

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Guests Spit Mouthfuls Of Tuna Into Buckets At StarKist Cannery Tour Tasting Room

PAGO PAGO, AMERICAN SAMOA—Swishing the seafood around their mouths to fully appreciate the flavor, guests reportedly spit mouthfuls of tuna into buckets Friday at the StarKist cannery tour tasting room. “Mmm, strong fishy bouquet with this one, medium-bodied, and it finishes with some notes of salt,” said tourist…

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Illustration for article titled Guests Spit Mouthfuls Of Tuna Into Buckets At StarKist Cannery Tour Tasting Room

PAGO PAGO, AMERICAN SAMOA—Swishing the seafood around their mouths to fully appreciate the flavor, guests reportedly spit mouthfuls of tuna into buckets Friday at the StarKist cannery tour tasting room. “Mmm, strong fishy bouquet with this one, medium-bodied, and it finishes with some notes of salt,” said tourist Corrina Garvin, swirling the sample of oil-packed albacore tuna to examine how it streaked down the glass. “This low-sodium light tuna has a very chunky mouthfeel, which I like, but I think my favorite so far has been the 2015 vintage of the yellowfin. I’m a bit of a canned fish snob, so it’s awesome to try all these finely aged tins and this year’s new blends. Plus, it was really neat to tour the factory and see how the product goes from swimming in the ocean to being scaled, deboned and vacuum-sealed.” At press time, StarKist guests were invited to kick off their shoes, roll up their pants, and stomp tuna in barrels the old-fashioned way.

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Dude Gets Petty Pizza Revenge on Entitled Coworker

After this guy’s coworker bullied the office mom to get his way, he stepped in to make sure his coworker’s selfish pizza plan didn’t come to fruition. The world has its fair share of entitled people and their wild demands, and a whole lot of people who get inadvisable but satisfying petty revenge.

After this guy’s coworker bullied the office mom to get his way, he stepped in to make sure his coworker’s selfish pizza plan didn’t come to fruition. The world has its fair share of entitled people and their wild demands, and a whole lot of people who get inadvisable but satisfying petty revenge.

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Family Assumes Ordering Same Dish Repeatedly Only Charges Once

This family was in for a serious wakeup call after ordering the same meal repeatedly, assuming that they’d only be charged for the meal once. Whoops. That is not how it works. Not how it works at all. Actually, you’re expected to pay for the meal each time you order it. Amazing. 

This family was in for a serious wakeup call after ordering the same meal repeatedly, assuming that they’d only be charged for the meal once. Whoops. That is not how it works. Not how it works at all. Actually, you’re expected to pay for the meal each time you order it. Amazing. 

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Things That Look like Good Food but Aren’t

Sometimes random junk like rocks and birds have the same color scheme and texture as delicious popsicles and ribeye steaks. The fine people at r/forbiddensnacks look for the tasty looking inedible delights around them. When you start to look for it, there’s tons of stuff that looks like tasty food but isn’t.

Sometimes random junk like rocks and birds have the same color scheme and texture as delicious popsicles and ribeye steaks. The fine people at r/forbiddensnacks look for the tasty looking inedible delights around them. When you start to look for it, there’s tons of stuff that looks like tasty food but isn’t.

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Things Must Be Getting Pretty Serious For Girlfriend’s Dad To Gift Bottle Of BBQ Sauce

BAIRDSTOWN, OH—Admitting he was initially baffled by the unexpected present, area man Troy Williams figured that things must be getting pretty serious for his girlfriend’s dad to gift him a bottle of BBQ sauce, sources confirmed Tuesday. “Kyla and I have only been exclusive for about three months, but now that her dad…

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Illustration for article titled Things Must Be Getting Pretty Serious For Girlfriend’s Dad To Gift Bottle Of BBQ Sauce

BAIRDSTOWN, OH—Admitting he was initially baffled by the unexpected present, area man Troy Williams figured that things must be getting pretty serious for his girlfriend’s dad to gift him a bottle of BBQ sauce, sources confirmed Tuesday. “Kyla and I have only been exclusive for about three months, but now that her dad made this gesture of goodwill by mailing me BBQ sauce, I guess the pressure’s on,” said Williams, motioning to the 20-ounce container of Lillie’s Carolina Barbecue sauce now sitting on his kitchen counter. “The note said Kyla told him we cooked ribs once and that this sauce is great on ribs so I should have it. I guess this is a sign that he’s welcoming me into their family? Is this some kind of test?” Williams confirmed plans to fire up the grill this weekend and have his girlfriend send her father a photograph of them consuming the BBQ sauce, which he hopes will send a clear message that he respects Kyla and appreciates her family.

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Reasons People Stopped Being Vegan/Vegetarian

Messing too much with your diet can prove to have some unintended consequences, and vegans and vegetarians who aren’t careful about balancing their diet correctly can end up with some annoying problems that could be solved by eating meat. If anything, the topic of eating animal products gives us some interesting moments like this tumblr post that calls out vegans for not eating honey or this tumblr post that schooled people on plague and veganism. Here are people’s reasons for returning to the meat.

Messing too much with your diet can prove to have some unintended consequences, and vegans and vegetarians who aren’t careful about balancing their diet correctly can end up with some annoying problems that could be solved by eating meat. If anything, the topic of eating animal products gives us some interesting moments like this tumblr post that calls out vegans for not eating honey or this tumblr post that schooled people on plague and veganism. Here are people’s reasons for returning to the meat.

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New Study Finds Most Premature Births Occur After Fetus Smells Something Delicious Outside

BALTIMORE—Calling the report a “revolutionary breakthrough” in the field of obstetrics, a new study published Monday by the Johns Hopkins School Of Medicine found that most premature births occurred when a fetus smelled something delicious outside. “After analyzing countless patients and the environmental factors…

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Illustration for article titled New Study Finds Most Premature Births Occur After Fetus Smells Something Delicious Outside

BALTIMORE—Calling the report a “revolutionary breakthrough” in the field of obstetrics, a new study published Monday by the Johns Hopkins School Of Medicine found that most premature births occurred when a fetus smelled something delicious outside. “After analyzing countless patients and the environmental factors surrounding them, we found that roughly 75% of preterm labors were initiated by a delicious, sumptuous aroma wafting up the birth canal and into the uterus,” said Dr. Hillary White, M.D., adding that pregnant women after the six-month mark should be particularly careful around smells including long, pillowy trails of steam from a freshly baked pie or the fragrant vapors from a batch of cookies being taken straight out of the oven. “In the majority of cases, once the fetus gets a whiff of a delicious pot roast or a freshly stirred stew, it will instinctively perk its nose up and begin to float along the path of the scent, dragging the umbilical cord and placenta with it. Sadly, after that, 100% of newborns end up exiting the womb, only to end up devastated when they are not allowed to eat solid foods for six more months.” At press time, researchers had published an addendum to the study, which found that the average time in labor could be reduced to just 30 minutes if mothers opted to give birth next to a freshly roasted turkey.

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Order Up: Cats Mastering The Art Of Disguising As Food

Cats are liquid. Cats are solid. Cats can sense and see things we cannot. Cats are able to crossover over into the cat dimension. Oh, and on top of all that — they’re cute as heck. 

But seriously, is there anything they can’t do? Now, we have another thing to add to their ridiculous long list of skills — the art of disguising oneself as food. 

Yes, they have seemingly mastered that as well. And we fear that this is just the beginning… won’t be long before they eventually take over our world and make it a way better place. 

On a side note, best not to look at these pictures on an empty stomach… they will make you ravenous. 

Cats are liquid. Cats are solid. Cats can sense and see things we cannot. Cats are able to crossover over into the cat dimension. Oh, and on top of all that — they’re cute as heck. 

But seriously, is there anything they can’t do? Now, we have another thing to add to their ridiculous long list of skills — the art of disguising oneself as food. 

Yes, they have seemingly mastered that as well. And we fear that this is just the beginning… won’t be long before they eventually take over our world and make it a way better place. 

On a side note, best not to look at these pictures on an empty stomach… they will make you ravenous. 

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Snack Industry Runs Out Of Ways To Escalate The Word ‘Cheese’

WASHINGTON— Confessing that unprecedented breakthroughs were necessary if they hoped to keep consumers engaged, multiple spokespeople confirmed Tuesday that the snack industry has run out of ways to escalate the word ‘cheese.’ “Quaint terms like cheezalicious, cheesetastic, and cheesesplosion were good expressions in…

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Illustration for article titled Snack Industry Runs Out Of Ways To Escalate The Word ‘Cheese’

WASHINGTON— Confessing that unprecedented breakthroughs were necessary if they hoped to keep consumers engaged, multiple spokespeople confirmed Tuesday that the snack industry has run out of ways to escalate the word ‘cheese.’ “Quaint terms like cheezalicious, cheesetastic, and cheesesplosion were good expressions in their time, but we’re now in danger of completely exhausting the capacity of the English language to describe cheese-based products,” said Kraft marketing head Anna Chavez, one of many executives who believe the industry has reached the ceiling on cheese-based adjectives. “If a play on words involving any milk-solids-based foods can be made, we’ve made it: variety-based, danger-oriented variants like Mozzrageous and Swissdemeanor, sexually themed terms like Cheesegasmic and Pepperjackulation, even fatalistic long-form experiments like No Whey Out and Cheddar Off Dead. Frankly we’re out of ideas.” Several dairy snack insiders warned that unless a breakthrough is reached soon, the industry may be faced with the horror of returning to merely descriptive terms such as “extra cheesy.”

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Olive Garden Unveils New All-You-Can-Eat Assisted Suicide Dinners For Terminally Ill Customers

ORLANDO, FL—Touting the offer as an ethical, mouth-watering option for those suffering from incurable diseases, Olive Garden unveiled a new all-you-can-eat assisted suicide dinner Thursday for terminally ill customers. “Whether you are suffering from late-stage cancer or a degenerative neurological disease, Olive…

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Illustration for article titled Olive Garden Unveils New All-You-Can-Eat Assisted Suicide Dinners For Terminally Ill Customers

ORLANDO, FL—Touting the offer as an ethical, mouth-watering option for those suffering from incurable diseases, Olive Garden unveiled a new all-you-can-eat assisted suicide dinner Thursday for terminally ill customers. “Whether you are suffering from late-stage cancer or a degenerative neurological disease, Olive Garden is proud to offer our new Life-Ending Pasta Bowl for just $12.99 a person,” said spokesperson Carissa Tate, adding that the deal, which also included Olive Garden’s signature unlimited breadsticks, soups, and salads, was guaranteed to make diners’ final moments fast, painless, and delicious. “Rather than waiting for your own slow and excruciating death, take control of your last moments with our pasta favorites, including our famous Cheese-filled Gnocchi or Lobster Ravioli. So, come on down to Olive Garden—when you’re here, you can die with family.” At press time, Olive Garden had come under fire for a graphic television commercial showing a waiter solemnly closing an elderly woman’s eyes after taking her final bite of baked ziti.

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Food Horrors That Could Traumatize Tastebuds

These food horrors defy what some people might expect when it comes to pairing certain foods with others. Have you really ever experienced life until you’ve eaten cereal out of a bell pepper? Obviously, no. Or maybe you’re finding yourself curious about how ketchup tastes in a glass of milk. There’s a bright idea. 

These food horrors defy what some people might expect when it comes to pairing certain foods with others. Have you really ever experienced life until you’ve eaten cereal out of a bell pepper? Obviously, no. Or maybe you’re finding yourself curious about how ketchup tastes in a glass of milk. There’s a bright idea. 

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