Tumblr Thread: Raging Nerds And An Orangutan

One does not simply bring up the Orangutan at an Edgar Allen Poe conference, unless they are ready to brandish their sharpest mental swords, and to debate, breathlessly, until there is steam coming out of their ears, and fire in the pit of their hearts. Yes, the Orangutan has a bit of a reputation in the community of Edgar Allen Poe academics. Saying “Orangutan” at a Poe conference is basically equivalent to muttering “Voldemort” at Hogwarts. Tis a big no-no. If you’re looking for more wild Tumblr threads, check out the recent thread where Tumblr went full mythological scientist on dragon evolutions. Fun stuff. 

One does not simply bring up the Orangutan at an Edgar Allen Poe conference, unless they are ready to brandish their sharpest mental swords, and to debate, breathlessly, until there is steam coming out of their ears, and fire in the pit of their hearts. Yes, the Orangutan has a bit of a reputation in the community of Edgar Allen Poe academics. Saying “Orangutan” at a Poe conference is basically equivalent to muttering “Voldemort” at Hogwarts. Tis a big no-no. If you’re looking for more wild Tumblr threads, check out the recent thread where Tumblr went full mythological scientist on dragon evolutions. Fun stuff. 

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Text - clarenecessities there's something endlessly hilarious to me about the phrase "hotly debated" in an academic context. like i just picture a bunch of nerds at podiums & one's like "of course there was a paleolithic bear cult in Northern Eurasia" and another one just looks him in the eye and says "i'l kill you in real life, kevin"

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Text - crockpotcauldron The Milton scholars screamed and argued about how the serpent was supposed to move before it crawled on its belly. Dr. Matthews, enraged that Dr. Goldstein could believe the serpent bounced around on the coiled end of its tail, flipped over the conference table. "Satan is not a fucking pogo stick!" he howled.

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Text - ossacordis I heard a story once about two microbiologists at a conference who took it out into the parking lot to have a literal fistfight over taxonomy.

4.

Text - winchysteria have i told this story yet? idk but it's good. The Orangutan Story: my american lit professor went to this poe conference. like to be clear this is a man who has a doctorate in being a book nerd. he reads moby dick to his four-year-old son. and poe is one of the cornerstones of american literature, right, so this should be right up his alley? wrong. apparently poe scholars are like, advanced. there is a branch of edgar allen poe scholarship that specifically looks for coded m

5.

Text - background info: edgar allen poe was a broke white alcoholic from virginia who wrote horror in the first half of the 19th century. rule 1 of Horror Academia is that horror reflects the cultural anxieties of its time (see: my other professor's sermon abt how zombie stories are popular when people are scared of immigrants, or that purge movie that was literally abt the election). since poe's shit is a product of 1800s white southern culture, you can safely assume it's at least a little abou

6.

Text - so my professor sits down to watch this panel and within like five minutes a bunch of crusty academics get super heated about poe's theoretical racism. because it's academia, though, this is limited to poorly concealed passive aggression and forceful tones of inside voice. one professor is like “this isn't even about race!" and another professor is like "this proves he's a racist!" people are interrupting each other. tensions are rising. a panelist starts saying that poe is like writing a

7.

Text - some more background: in poe's well-known short story "the murder in the rue morgue," two single ladies-a lovely old woman and her lovely daughter who takes care of her, aka super vulnerable and respectable people-are violently killed. the murderer turns out to be not a person, but an orangutan brought back by a sailor who went to like burma or something. and it's pretty goddamn racially coded, like they reeeeally focus on all this stuff about coarse hairs and big hands and superhuman str

8.

Text - so the place goes dead fucking silent as every giant ass poe stan in the room is immediately thrust into a series of war flashbacks: the orangutan argument, violently carried out over seminar tables, in literary journals, at graduate student house parties, the spittle flying, the wine and coffee spilled, the friendships torn-the red faces and bulging veins -curses thrown and teaching posts abandoned- panels just like this one fallen into chaos-distant sirens, skies falling, the dog-eared

9.

Text - much later, when my professor told this story to a poe nerd friend, the guy said the orangutan thing was a one of the biggest landmines in their field. he said it was a reliable discussion ruiner that had started so many shouting matches that some conferences had an actual ban on bringing it up.

10.

Text - my professor sits there for a second, still totally clueless. the panel moderator suddenly stands up in his tweed jacket and yells, with the raw panic of a once-broken man: WE! DO NOT! TALK ABOUT! THE ORANGUTAN!

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Twitter Debate: Captain America Or Optimus Prime As Most Inspirational

Ah, yes, people on Twitter have found another thing to butt heads over. This time, the stirring argument centers on whether Optimus Prime or Captain America was more inspirational. A fair share of folks express a mad passion for how Optimus Prime just got their blood boiling in the most intense of ways. One dude was ready to battle his TV after Optimus Prime said some words. That’s real.

Ah, yes, people on Twitter have found another thing to butt heads over. This time, the stirring argument centers on whether Optimus Prime or Captain America was more inspirational. A fair share of folks express a mad passion for how Optimus Prime just got their blood boiling in the most intense of ways. One dude was ready to battle his TV after Optimus Prime said some words. That’s real.

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Twitter Debate: The Muppets Vs. Sesame Street In Street Fight

Ah, yes. Here we are again with a fresh and important Twitter debate. This time, the debate concerns who would win in a street fight– The Muppets or Sesame Street? This is no joking matter. People have strong, passionate feelings concerning the outcome of this street fight. 

Ah, yes. Here we are again with a fresh and important Twitter debate. This time, the debate concerns who would win in a street fight– The Muppets or Sesame Street? This is no joking matter. People have strong, passionate feelings concerning the outcome of this street fight. 

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Best Memes From Last Night’s Audience-Free Democratic Debate

Last night Americans tuned in to watch the audience-free live democratic debate between remaining candidates Joe Biden and Bernie Sanders. Topics of discussion included the Green New Deal, Donald Trump, and of course, the COVID-19 pandemic. You can watch the debate here to decide for yourself who won, and click here for more political memes!

Last night Americans tuned in to watch the audience-free live democratic debate between remaining candidates Joe Biden and Bernie Sanders. Topics of discussion included the Green New Deal, Donald Trump, and of course, the COVID-19 pandemic. You can watch the debate here to decide for yourself who won, and click here for more political memes!

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Tumblr Has Lawyer-style Debate over Legitimacy of Bread Knife

This Tumblr disagreement over whether or not this bread knife is real became a real debate with counterarguments, claims and diagrams. Frankly at first glance it looks like fake bread, but I guess that’s why lawyers exist. For some more lawyer Tumblr stuff, here’s a tumblr thread on ridiculous court transcripts. For another argument, here’s a tumblr user absolutely schooling another on horses.

This Tumblr disagreement over whether or not this bread knife is real became a real debate with counterarguments, claims and diagrams. Frankly at first glance it looks like fake bread, but I guess that’s why lawyers exist. For some more lawyer Tumblr stuff, here’s a tumblr thread on ridiculous court transcripts. For another argument, here’s a tumblr user absolutely schooling another on horses.

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Roundup Of Democratic Debate Memes That Roast Last Night’s Total Freak Show

Last night’s democratic debate in Nevada got pretty damn spicy to say the least. So much so that many are calling it the most entertaining debate of the election cycle so far. Pete spoke Spanish, Warren (and every other candidate, for that matter) came out swinging against Bloomberg, and many, many other things that warranted a monumental cringe fest. 

So please enjoy the following roast-y memes from the night and you can watch a more in-depth recap of it here!

Last night’s democratic debate in Nevada got pretty damn spicy to say the least. So much so that many are calling it the most entertaining debate of the election cycle so far. Pete spoke Spanish, Warren (and every other candidate, for that matter) came out swinging against Bloomberg, and many, many other things that warranted a monumental cringe fest. 

So please enjoy the following roast-y memes from the night and you can watch a more in-depth recap of it here!

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Video Of Passenger Punching Woman’s Reclining Seat Divides Internet

@MarinaMarraco shared a video that has since gone viral, of a man frustratedly punch the reclining seat of a passenger in front of him. People on Twitter would seem to be split over who is in the wrong: the reclining seat passenger or the dude punching the seat. It’s definitely a ridiculous situation all around. 

@MarinaMarraco shared a video that has since gone viral, of a man frustratedly punch the reclining seat of a passenger in front of him. People on Twitter would seem to be split over who is in the wrong: the reclining seat passenger or the dude punching the seat. It’s definitely a ridiculous situation all around. 

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Twitter Thread on Random Brackets Is a Really Good Idea

If you’re crap at conversation, nothing gets people involved and passionate quite like a semi-tongue-in-cheek debate on what kind of bird is best. Petty arguments are fantastic. Twitter user christineexists explained this admittedly great argument/party and apparently other people do it too.

If you’re crap at conversation, nothing gets people involved and passionate quite like a semi-tongue-in-cheek debate on what kind of bird is best. Petty arguments are fantastic. Twitter user christineexists explained this admittedly great argument/party and apparently other people do it too.

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Twitter Users Debate The Best Seat On The Subway

It’s time to put an end to the stirring debate over which seat is the best when taking the subway. New Yorkers are offering up their hot takes on the matter, while other Twitter users are putting their own comedic twists on which is the best seat in other scenarios. 

It’s time to put an end to the stirring debate over which seat is the best when taking the subway. New Yorkers are offering up their hot takes on the matter, while other Twitter users are putting their own comedic twists on which is the best seat in other scenarios. 

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Chicken Wing Debate Tears Twitter Apart

A heated debate broke out on Twitter regarding the proper way to eat a chicken wing. This is no light matter. People can find themselves divided over one person’s choice to chomp that chicken wing down to the very bone, and the other person’s decision to leave bits of meat still hanging off the bone. I mean, is there really any excuse for #1? That just looks like someone who had their plate taken away mid-bite. 

A heated debate broke out on Twitter regarding the proper way to eat a chicken wing. This is no light matter. People can find themselves divided over one person’s choice to chomp that chicken wing down to the very bone, and the other person’s decision to leave bits of meat still hanging off the bone. I mean, is there really any excuse for #1? That just looks like someone who had their plate taken away mid-bite. 

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‘What Liberals Call Thanksgiving’ Is The Latest Moronic Political Debate

We’ve got another War on Christmas-type scenario, people! Although this time it’s a war on Thanksgiving, according to a statement made by Donald Trump at a rally in Sunrise, Florida. Trump claimed that liberals want to change the name of Thanksgiving to something a little more “politically correct,” and assured supporters that the name would indeed stay the same. 

Our only question here is, can we focus on something that, like, actually matters? Please?

We’ve got another War on Christmas-type scenario, people! Although this time it’s a war on Thanksgiving, according to a statement made by Donald Trump at a rally in Sunrise, Florida. Trump claimed that liberals want to change the name of Thanksgiving to something a little more “politically correct,” and assured supporters that the name would indeed stay the same. 

Our only question here is, can we focus on something that, like, actually matters? Please?

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‘Chicken Wars’ Are Dividing The Public Over Fast Food

Have you ever seen America this divided over something? Aside from the 2016 presidential elections, we think not. 

Popeyes and Chick-fil-A came out with a new fried chicken sandwich at the same time and it’s created quite the heated debate on Twitter under the hashtag “chicken wars.” Even Twitter troll-master Wendy’s has gotten in on the roasting, which is a surprise to absolutely no one.

It seems that Twitter has already chosen Popeyes as the winner, but of course you’ll have to make the call on your own once you try both!

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