Need This

Funny meme that reads, "Shut up and take my stimulus money" above a photo of a product called "Yearquil"

Where do I buy?

Submitted by: (via LifeConfessionguy1)

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Florida School District’s Reopening Plan Is Surreal AF

Kids start school again in just a few weeks and things are not looking good. Let’s just say, we’re really glad that we’re not in school anymore…

Submitted by: (via Burner Account)

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How Quickly Things Change

funny tweet about advertising in march 2020 vs advertising in august 2020 | Ben Rosen @ben_rosen MARCH COMMERCIAL: during these uncertain times, we're thinking of you and your family AUGUST COMMERCIAL: look you might as well catch it at burger king

Submitted by: (via u/FakeBenson)

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Planet Earth: The Evolution Of The Karen

Stay tuned for the Florida Man episode!

Submitted by: (via juggle)

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COVID-19 Fits In Surprisingly Well With The ‘Friends’ Intro

“When it hasn’t been your day, your week, your month, or even your year”

Submitted by: (via Pipsta)

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There’s Still A Pandemic Going On, After All

Funny meme that reads, "Solid advice" above a photo of buffalo wings and text that reads, "Wash your hands like you just ate buffalo wings and are about to put on a wedding dress"

Solid advice indeed.

Submitted by: (via anlyin)

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Can’t Even Be That Much…

Funny dank meme that reads, "The government thinking a one time check of $1,200 is enough" above a still of Lucille Bluth saying, "How much could rent cost? Ten dollars?"

Just stop being poor!

Submitted by: (via TheBloodyLady)

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‘Karens Gone Wild’ Is The Hottest Video Of The Summer

If you want to see a bunch of Karens running wild, then you’ve come to the right place.

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Video Sketch Makes Fun Of People Who Refuse To Wear Masks

People, PLEASE just wear the damn mask.

Submitted by: (via Andrew Rousso)

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There’s An Easy Solution Here

Funny meme that reads, "Things are about to get interesting" above a store sign that reads, "If you come into the store without a mask we will have to take your temperature! P.S. We only have rectal thermometers!"

(Wear a mask.)

Submitted by: (via anlyin)

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Unhinged QAnon Karen Trashes Target & Harasses Shoppers

Social media has a lot of drawbacks, but the fact that we are able to witness insane public freakouts in real time is an absolute win. And with this absurd video, this QAnon-believing Karen has outdone most of her peers. She begins her aggressive attack against masks in Target, destroying a display and screaming “This shit is f*cking over.” When the employees ask her to leave, she thinks she’s being discriminated against because she’s blonde and wears a Rolex. 

The insanity doesn’t stop there. Once she’s outside the store she starts “baa”-ing at shoppers wearing masks, calling them sheep. Things go even further when she starts ranting to police about how she is a QAnon spokesperson and has a personal relationship with Donald Trump. She also says she has millions of viewers – but on the live feed it’s very clear that she’s broadcasting to just 83 people. We hope she gets the help she sorely needs.

Submitted by: (via Satanic Panic Fun And Games)

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Poor Karen

Funny meme about how karens hate to wear masks

Hope she gets through this difficult time.

Submitted by: (via u/TheSheepicus)

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Get Over It Karen

Funny meme featuring Patrick Star from Spongebob about Karens not wanting to wear face masks during the coronavirus pandemic

This is the dumbest thing to complain about.

Submitted by: (via doodlydoodledumdum)

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You Just Look Dumb

Funny meme that reads, "People wearing masks without covering their nose" above an image of Plankton wearing glasses that don't go over his eyes

And it doesn’t work at all.

Submitted by: (via doodlydoodledumdum)

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Dat Quarantine Life

Funny meme about having to send one email for the whole day

Soooo hard to stay motivated.

Submitted by: (via doodlydoodledumdum)

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Never Ending Story

funny meme about flattening the curve

Keep up the good work, guys.

Submitted by: (via @memebase)

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Ha Ha Nothing To See Here!

Funny dank meme featuring a cruise ship in a narrow passage way where one side of the cliff represents "the crumbling economy," the other side represents "COVID-19," and the middle represents "Me and the boys playing video games like nothing's happening"

We’re all so f*cked!

Submitted by: (via Didjdjdjsk)

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Video Sketch About Quarantine With A Middle Schooler Is Hilariously Accurate

Middle school-aged kids are the worst, so this whole video really checks out.

Submitted by: (via Trey Kennedy)

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Eighteen Nurse Memes For The Brave People On The Frontlines

Whether you’re fighting on the front lines for COVID-19 patients, or for the injured protesters taking to the streets during the police brutality marches, we appreciate you and we think you deserve some memes.

1.

Text - im trying to hělp you mother I'm fuckers How nurses really want to 6 reddit update whiteboards Posted in r/nursing by u/MissE_bb

2.

Text - LISA @yllekasil Was speaking to a nurse on placement and she's like "do you ever feel like you use all your niceness at work and then when you get home you're not nice to anyone in the house" and I couldn't relate anymore if I tried

3.

Face - When you come back to work and that difficult patient hasn't been discharged yet bedsidereport

4.

Text - When you catch your patient reaching into their bag for their home meds @snarkynurses You Can't do that OU

5.

Face - When my non-medical family members ask how my day went You wouldn't get it

6.

Text - When your patient genuinely thanks you and tells you how much they appreciate you @yourregularrn

7.

Glove - Putting on gloves; Alone In front of people

8.

Motor vehicle - WHEN YOURE HANDING OFF A TOTAL TRAIN WRECK PATIENT BUT ARE TRYING TO KEEP IT POSITIVE @snarkynurses

9.

Smile - Hidas adido pureed food ad adidas aspirating on some water Posted in r/nursing by u/newo48 reddit

10.

Product - Breaking: Nurse gets lost on the way to the cafeteria while on first lunch break in 10 years

11.

Photo caption - When your patient calls and says "oops sorry I didn't mean to push the call light" hurselaugh

12.

Alcohol - You can't work a shift with 4 hours sleep... Me: MONSTER ENERDY

13.

Photo caption - "All nurses save lives" Hospice nurses: made with mematic Posted in r/nursing by u/Krystal-A O reddit

14.

Text - My patient after I hit 2 walls and the door frame with the bed before we even get out of the room. @memenurseofficial

15.

Cartoon - Patient insists on getting out of bed Also patient:

16.

Air travel - When you finally get a chance to pee. @humor_me_rn

17.

Face - FIRST DAY AS A NURSE VS FOURTH @şnarkynuses

18.

Text - WHEN MANAGEMENT ASKS WHY I HAVE A DRINK AT THE NURSES STATION @gravel walknurse Not to worry. have a permit. I've been using the same N95 for a week I can do what I want. Ron

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20 Cringey Karen Memes And Outbursts

Is it just us or is 2020 the year of the Karen? It seems that this cursed year has somehow emboldened entitled women despite all the ‘Karen’ backlash that we’re not ashamed to admit we’ve enjoyed. Between the coronavirus pandemic and recent protests against police brutality, every Karen has something to say. And it’s usually a massively combination of offensive, entitled, and ignorant garbage. This mix of Karen contentcovers all of those bases – with a few memes thrown in for a light chuckle. 

1.

Text - "We're giving children free health care, we're giving them free food, free emotional support.. That's dangerous. That's communism when you think about it." - Rebecca Friedrichs, Conservative Christian Activis PATHEOS.COM Fox News Guest: Children Don't Deserve 'Free Food' Because 'That's Communism'

2.

Text - The children at my son's elementary school have started referring to me as a "Karen," and mocking my chic hairstyle. Is there anything I can do in the way of legal action to prevent this? I am deeply offended. Hannah Yesterday at 3:42pm e Welp, posting a question about suing 8 year-olds is probably the wrong way to beat the stereotype Like · Comment Share lamebook.com

3.

Text - Randy Eudy ... 6 hrs · O Black lives DO matter but so does EVERY other color around the world.... ENOUGH SAID!!!!! Angry Omment A Share &You and 13 oths View previous cor ts... Debra Crawford Exactly right Randy!!!!!! Every life matters not just because you're black!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2h Angry Reply View 2 previous replies... Jason Lusby Oh "Debra".

4.

Product - Kelsey Follow This is appropriation, if a white family dressed up as black characters they would get hate, racism works both ways O - Follow Izanagi. @phnnyShady Bitch the Simpsons are yellow.

5.

Text - Karen's trippin because she wants a haircut, mask free. Imagine if she was black. Lord, she askin to talk to all the managers. O Like Comment Send 1 Carin Cook I will never wear a mask..l went to three different salons, found one that didn't require a mask...its not about the virus!!!!! 1 6m Like Reply Mary Jo Zavagnin Such a small thing to protect others...."NO HAIRCUT FOR YOU"! 3m Like Reply Carin Cook Mary Jo Zavagnin its ALL political... hello!!!!!!!!!! And your state sucks, ha!

6.

Text - She became the very thing she swore to destroy Karen General Manager

7.

Clothing - JEW DE O Like Comment Share 6 Sandi Burk Lordy Mercy. Imagine having those weights to haul around where you'd need damn CHAINS for Bra Straps. Do you know any men that would get that much Silicone in their 'Twins' and chance drowning somebody if they got pricked, literally? Women have a different view. I'm glad I was flat chested! @karensgoingwilds Write a comment... GIF

8.

Text - @missiwimberly I am So thankful businesses are opening back up. But this is what I had to look at while I got a pedicure today. Apparently my feet are contagious? It's almost more depressing to be in an environment where people act afraid to be touched than to stay home. #stopsocialdistancing III @karensgoingwilds

9.

Hair - Ultra Karen, Summoner of District Managers SALGOM PACK OF DOGS TERRORIZING GRADY CO. FAMILY N OK 6:04

10.

Text - K-Know your rights A- Accuse everyone R-Reguest a manager E-Escalate to authorities N-Neglecet reason

11.

Text - *businesses reopen* 5 seconds later:

12.

Text - Karen May 5, 2020 O ... Lol today some asian lady actually had the audacity to put on her face mask and go towards the other side walk to avoid ME (A WHITE WOMAN) who definitely does not have corona virus... nice job lady... you started this.

13.

Text - Meghan McCain @MeghanMcCain My neighborhood in Manhattan is eviscerated and looks like a war zone. DeBlasio and Cuomo are an utter disgrace. This is not America. Our leaders have abandoned us and continue to let great American cities burn to the ground and be destroyed. I never could have fathomed this Kristen Bartlett @kristencheeks Meghan, we live in the same building, and I just walked outside. It's fine.

14.

Facial expression - The Manager:

15.

Text - Karen You should be ashamed for trying to hurt a business for political beliefs. Yours isn't the only or correct belief system. 15 7h Like Reply Thomas OMG your name is ACTUALLY Karen. Karen, the owner is LITERALLY ENDORSING RUNNING PEOPLE OVER. If anyone should be ashamed, it's you for defending such righteous trash. Please take a whole row of seats. 46 7h Like Reply

16.

Hair - It is tíme to go. Was I a good person? Bring me your manager No. You were the worst.

17.

Orange - Karen Replying to @Xbox Still won't be buying my girls (11 and 14) a Playstation! It's junk made in China. Why 21h support them? 230 27 11 207 esOuinn87· 21h Replying to @Xbox Still won't be buying my girls (11 and 14) a Playstation! It's junk made in China. Why support therm 23:28 01 Jun 2 Twitter for iPhone 53 27 63 2,791

18.

Font - 2:20 1 ail LTE OTARGET POLICE MOM Karen My kids are my world. Kyle Chad Bradley Go do some resear williams Aad Friend We know hun A Works at Karen Who let these monkeys outta they-cages Studied at Mia Green Went to From Aaron James comaraderie Married Autumn Grandberry ... See Karen's About Info The Nigga with the gas mask. you smart Eirynn C "Go grab a charger." Erienrde

19.

Text - According to our reporters in the field, protests have, for the most part, remained peaceful today. 18:16 · 5/31/20 · Buffer 5 Retweets 19 Likes Karen 24m ! Replying to I would like them removed anyways. 1 more reply

20.

Text - "Hi, there's a guy causing a disturbance down the street. It looks like he's holding a shield, but it's probably stolen. And he claims he's Captain America. No, he's black."

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Amusement Park Straps In Giant Teddy Bear For Thrilling Ride

A Dutch theme park called Walibi Holland has just re-opened to the public and share an unusual group of thrill-seekers riding their ‘Untamed’ coaster. 

In a fun and original way to invite back fans, and announce their re-opening, the staff has strapped 22 oversized teddy bears into the coaster for the best thrill ride of their lives! 

Viewers were so amused to see the plush dolls bouncing up and down as their ears flapped catching some serious air! Only thing missing? The exciting screams of excitement mixed with a bit of fear of the unknown.  

The video did the trick though! The footage went viral and brought smiles around the world! 

“This has been the best thing I’ve seen in lockdown,” one YouTuber commented.

Another person wrote: “Never have I wanted to be a teddy bear more in my life!”

Story via MSN

A Dutch theme park called Walibi Holland has just re-opened to the public and share an unusual group of thrill-seekers riding their ‘Untamed’ coaster. 

In a fun and original way to invite back fans, and announce their re-opening, the staff has strapped 22 oversized teddy bears into the coaster for the best thrill ride of their lives! 

Viewers were so amused to see the plush dolls bouncing up and down as their ears flapped catching some serious air! Only thing missing? The exciting screams of excitement mixed with a bit of fear of the unknown.  

The video did the trick though! The footage went viral and brought smiles around the world! 

“This has been the best thing I’ve seen in lockdown,” one YouTuber commented.

Another person wrote: “Never have I wanted to be a teddy bear more in my life!”

Story via MSN

1. Untitled

2. Some delight screengrabs of the teddy bears living their best lives!

Stuffed toy

3.

Teddy bear

4. Turns out, Walibi Holland inspired others to follow suit!

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First-Known Cat Case Of Covid-19 Survives

Papille, the French cat, has survived the coronavirus infection and feline good! 

Papille is a nine-year-old cat and is recorded as the very first pet being infected by the virus in France. It’s most likely that Papille got the virus from her owners, who were also COVID-19 sufferers. 

“Mum found it strange she was showing the same symptoms as a human: fatigue, a cough and bouts of lethargy. We said to ourselves, ‘perhaps it’s COVID-19. Unlikely, but perhaps’,” Brian, Papille’s owner told Reuters

“She couldn’t stand, she wouldn’t react when we called her. She’d barely lift her head,” said Brian. “It was us who transmitted the virus,” he continued. 

Science director at the Alfort National, Vet School, Renaud Tissier said, “Human to animal transmission is not something that is impossible, but it is very rare, We have no cases of humans being infected by pets.”

Thankfully, Papille is back to her old self, purring contentedly, and getting a lot of love and affection from her owners. 

We’re so happy to hear the news! Wishing Papille a long and healthy life! Check out the pics of Brian and the lovely Papille below! 

Story via Reuters

Papille, the French cat, has survived the coronavirus infection and feline good! 

Papille is a nine-year-old cat and is recorded as the very first pet being infected by the virus in France. It’s most likely that Papille got the virus from her owners, who were also COVID-19 sufferers. 

“Mum found it strange she was showing the same symptoms as a human: fatigue, a cough and bouts of lethargy. We said to ourselves, ‘perhaps it’s COVID-19. Unlikely, but perhaps’,” Brian, Papille’s owner told Reuters

“She couldn’t stand, she wouldn’t react when we called her. She’d barely lift her head,” said Brian. “It was us who transmitted the virus,” he continued. 

Science director at the Alfort National, Vet School, Renaud Tissier said, “Human to animal transmission is not something that is impossible, but it is very rare, We have no cases of humans being infected by pets.”

Thankfully, Papille is back to her old self, purring contentedly, and getting a lot of love and affection from her owners. 

We’re so happy to hear the news! Wishing Papille a long and healthy life! Check out the pics of Brian and the lovely Papille below! 

Story via Reuters

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Informative Video Explains The Spread Of COVID-19 Indoors Vs. Outdoors

This video clears up how dangerous it really is for us to go outside during the pandemic!

Submitted by: (via Vox)

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Fifteen Summer Memes To Taunt People Who Miss Going Outside

Let’s just all just be realistic for a second: summer is going to royally suck for the vast majority of us this year, but unfortunately that’s just how it’s gotta to be while we try to get over this pandemic. Accordingly, we’ve put together some memes that will probably make you feel really bad while you’re stuck inside! Sorry ahead of time…

1.

Shoulder - God adding 85 degree weather to Pandemic season COMFORT

2.

Child - Checking on your Summer Body and finding you have plenty @HowTOBBADad-

3.

Text - When it's the summer and you leave your room to get some snacks 目 Congratulations, survivor: you have exceeded your weekly exercise quotient by 500%.

4.

Architecture - Society if there was 104 days of summer vacation

5.

Rhesus macaque - Basic girls on vacation be like... abrokeromeo

6.

Product - When you wanna go on vacation but ur broke af

7.

Product - Summer 2020 gonna be lit

8.

Organism - When you stand outside for a minute and get a dose of vitamin D

9.

Photo caption - When you go to the beach and the sand is hot Ow fe e t

10.

Television program - Мy joy Me and happiness My joy and Me happiness Back to School Ads

11.

Fish - Summer 2020 with the squad @thenewsclan

12.

Floor - me working out from home

13.

Text - When your squad can't agree on a date and you start attending your own plans because summer doesn't last forever

14.

Photo caption - When my mom refuses to put on the air conditioner. 42 4:20 Be a lot cooler if you did

15.

Sky - IERT So nice to chill by the pool! Jokes. I have no lifel

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Mrs Clean

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HI! PLEASE DO US A HUGE FAVOR AND WHITELIST US WITH YOUR ADBLOCKER! THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

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Guy Dressed As Grim Reaper Goes On National TV To Protest Florida Beaches Reopening

He definitely made his point in style.

Submitted by: (via Neo Ethan)

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Commercial Mocks Brands And Their Money-Grubbing BS During Pandemic

“In these uncertain times…” just shut up already, Amazon.

Submitted by: (via Funny Business)

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How To Stay Connected To Others During Social Distancing

Spend the months and years leading up to quarantine being a caring and genuinely interesting enough person that spending a few months apart doesn’t make everyone forget that you exist. 

Read more…

Spend the months and years leading up to quarantine being a caring and genuinely interesting enough person that spending a few months apart doesn’t make everyone forget that you exist. 

Read more…

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Twenty-Eight Instances Of Unbridled Ignorance: COVID-19 Edition

The people disobeying lockdown orders right now are like the kids in your fourth grade class who wouldn’t follow the rules so the teacher kept punishing the entire class. So just remember, the more y’all keep breaking the rules the longer we all have to be in lockdown! 

Now scroll down if you want to see some incredibly cringe-inducing posts, but honestly, we would understand if you don’t.

1.

Text - Some dude asked me why I didn't have a mask on in the grocery store. I told him I don't believe in conspiracy theories.

2.

Protest - I Need A Haircut!

3.

Protest - Fiets Ova Fit THE CIVE MY VEKUS TS A HAX DAUCHTER HER SENIOR YEAR BACK! Do Where Bea

4.

Text - Tomi Lahren @TomiLahren To the pro-eternal shutdown cheerleaders, when your favorite government pals start canceling pride parades, we better not hear a peep out of you!!! 1:16 PM · May 7, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone 1.3K Retweets 10.3K Likes Thor Benson @thor_benson · May 7 Replying to @TomiLahren They were canceled last month, genius. 25 27 130 7.1K Obi Dox Kenobi @obibluraven · May 8 She didnt know because there wasnt massive protests, which also kills her arguement. 27 3 229 1 more repl

5.

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6.

Motor vehicle - Land of the F REE ? Home of the BRAVE AFRAID

7.

Protest - TYRANNY SPREABING FASTER THAN CHINA VIRUS IS THE REOPEN * NOW

8.

Text - May 12 at 8:41 AM • O I will not be vaccinated (chipped) for the coronavirus. Who else is willing to share this?

9.

People - AIN OPS UP The 200, Legoland +Disney

10.

Protest - 53333B STOPRONNG MY SENIORYEAR wRL STATER

11.

Mode of transport - Los ANGELES POLICE DEPARTMENT MAY 1 Man refusing to wear mask breaks arm of CAN Target employee Two men were arrested for felony battery after starting a fight with employees at a Los Angeles Target store over wearing masks inside the store. Source: CNN

12.

Protest - :76 FREE THE IF T RERSES Fuhrer THE CROM HUMANS MALZ WE DENAND NY KE GO TO LORK! FREEDOM! ZICHA

13.

Text - Would be nice to meet you ;) I agree. Sucks about corona hey :( This is all fake is no any virus tv lies Google it Oh boy

14.

Protest - MY BODY, MY CHOICE = ABOPTION, THEN MY BODY, MY CHOICE = REOURED SOREGUERO BEGUREO TESTING NES

15.

Protest - POLO EAS MY BODY SHOICE TO WORK

16.

People - AM SO TOTALLY OVER THIS

17.

Protest - WE WILP THE NOT DOWN DONT TREAD ON ML COMPLY WE DEEM OUR GOVERNOR NON-ESsentiAL LC FreedoM TruMPS The COMMIE VIRUS

18.

Text - Chelsea Peretti @chelseaperetti ..thus proving that squats and push-ups can be done anywhere...? twitter.com/WFLA/status/12... WFLA NEWS @WFLA Replying to @WFLA WATCH: Protesters calling for gyms to reopen in Florida are doing squats and push-ups outside the Clearwater courthouse 8.wfla.com/2L9NDUQ #Florida #COVID19 HAPPENING NOW: CLEARWATER GYM PROTEST wfla. NOW com f NEW WFLA FANS-KELLEY TAMMIE, MARY MARGARET ESTILL, ANTHONY MCCOMSEY, ANN NEVENI SANZ 1-800 ASK-GARY 675K 10:59 AM - May 1

19.

Protest - IWANT ALONE TIME FROM MY WIFE BACK #OPENMN

20.

Protest - Terminology you understand! ABORT Grace the stay at home order! Something Else Boutique Bedford, VA

21.

Font - Read MY Lips Silent NO NEW EXTENSIONS

22.

Text - No FaceMasks ETRA k Here allowed in store! lower your mask or go Somewhere else. Štop listening 2 Pritzrer he's a dumbases If you can't comply with store policy of our employees sa fety I suggest you go some where else.

23.

Text - Can somebody please prove that the Coronavirus is killing people? |and 50 others 157 Comments 3 Shares O Like Comment Share View previous comments 3 of 54 OMG you are kidding I hope. Like Reply 3h l am absolutely not kidding. Don't you think that we should all be demanding proof before we let our lives be destroyed by the side effects of this pandemic? Like Reply 3h Edited My dead brother in law is proof Like Reply 3h |Somebody dying is not proof. Like - Reply 4m

24.

Text - Sunday at 11:41 · Wearing a mask causes u2 breath in your own carbon monoxide slowly poisoning urself & breaking down ur immune system. Facts

25.

Text - Vaccines for what? Please, could you explain what is this? Thank you. CENTER FOR GLOBAL HUMAN POPULATION REDUCTION BILL MELINDA GATES foundation 31 27 65 296 . 1 May That's called a Photoshop. 7 234 1 May Do you mean this wall? BILL MELINDA GATES foundation 6. 104

26.

Flag - I'o RATHER DIE ON MY FEET THAN LIVE ON MY KNEES! III

27.

People - COVID-19 IS A LIE NFD WORKE AMERVO WORKE COVID-19 IS A LIE NFD

28.

Motor vehicle - Iwant a Massage ! Openthe State DOV LEE

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Farewell Everyone

Funny meme about having a cough and thinking you're going to die because Google says so | Me: it's just a cough. Parents: it's just a cough. The Doctor: it's just a cough. Google: elon musk

It’s been nice knowing you.

Submitted by: (via sexistential)

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Eloquent Boredom

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Wuhan Officially Bans Eating Wild Animals

This. Is. Amazing. 

This is exactly what needed to happen and has officially happened! And Wuhan took it even a step further, the Chinese city is to become a ‘wildlife sanctuary’ where virtually all hunting of wild animals is banned… well, with the exception of measures for “scientific research, population regulation, monitoring of epidemic diseases and other special circumstances”.

But still, we consider this to be a huge step in the right direction. 

Wuhan, the epicenter of the coronavirus pandemic announced the ban on May 20th, 2020, and as part of the ban, the city introduced stringent controls on the breeding of all wild animals, prohibiting any to be reared for food, CBS reported.

While the origins of the pandemic are still under investigation, one of the suspected sources is the Huanan Seafood Wholesale Market in the city which included a live animal section reportedly selling more than 30 species of animals including live wolf pups, golden cicadas, scorpions and civets. China closed the market in January.

Humane Society International’s China policy specialist, Dr Peter Li, said: “Wuhan’s ban on wildlife consumption is extremely welcome as a clear recognition that the public health risk of zoonotic disease spread via the wildlife trade must be taken very seriously if we are to avoid another pandemic.

There will however be no less severe of a disease risk from wildlife consumption in five years’ time, so anything short of a permanent and comprehensive ban is still a risk too far. Wuhan becomes the fourth city in mainland China to show such leadership, but we now need cities and countries across the world to step up to the plate and shut down the dangerous wildlife trade.”

Story via Independent.Co.Uk

This. Is. Amazing. 

This is exactly what needed to happen and has officially happened! And Wuhan took it even a step further, the Chinese city is to become a ‘wildlife sanctuary’ where virtually all hunting of wild animals is banned… well, with the exception of measures for “scientific research, population regulation, monitoring of epidemic diseases and other special circumstances”.

But still, we consider this to be a huge step in the right direction. 

Wuhan, the epicenter of the coronavirus pandemic announced the ban on May 20th, 2020, and as part of the ban, the city introduced stringent controls on the breeding of all wild animals, prohibiting any to be reared for food, CBS reported.

While the origins of the pandemic are still under investigation, one of the suspected sources is the Huanan Seafood Wholesale Market in the city which included a live animal section reportedly selling more than 30 species of animals including live wolf pups, golden cicadas, scorpions and civets. China closed the market in January.

Humane Society International’s China policy specialist, Dr Peter Li, said: “Wuhan’s ban on wildlife consumption is extremely welcome as a clear recognition that the public health risk of zoonotic disease spread via the wildlife trade must be taken very seriously if we are to avoid another pandemic.

There will however be no less severe of a disease risk from wildlife consumption in five years’ time, so anything short of a permanent and comprehensive ban is still a risk too far. Wuhan becomes the fourth city in mainland China to show such leadership, but we now need cities and countries across the world to step up to the plate and shut down the dangerous wildlife trade.”

Story via Independent.Co.Uk

1. "A blocked entrance to Wuhan's Huanan market, where the coronavirus that can cause Covid-19 is believed to have first surfaced"

Blue - 华 歲 海鲜市场 华南 眼镜市场 雄

2. Bats in cages at the Wuhan wildlife meat market

Animal shelter

3. "Workers wearing face masks operate a barbecue at a market in Wuhan in China"

Marketplace - K-

4. Amen to that!

Organism - Carrie Symonds O @carriesymonds Let's hope this remains the case Wuhan bans eating wild animals in crackdown on illegal wildlife trade Authorities in Wuhan, the epicentre of the coronavirus outbreak, have officially banned eating. hunting and breeding wild animals. A notice on the city's . S standard.co.uk 10:43 PM May 20, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone

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Hysterical Karen Has Mask Meltdown On Facebook Live

We’ve officially reached the Golden Age of Karens. And with lockdowns and restrictions “impinging” on their entitled idea of “rights,” there seems to be a greater number of these histrionic white women coming out of the woodwork. Twitter user @shrimpbinch managed to find a prime example of this kind of woman having a complete meltdown on Facebook Live. It seems this Karen simply cannot handle having to wear a mask. She dramatically lists the “symptoms” she experienced while wearing the protective face wear. The symptoms all sound like someone who is experiencing anxiety. But in her mind, it’s clear that she believes the masks are harming her health and violating her rights as an American. The fun doesn’t stop there. @shrimpbinch did some digging and discovered that this “victim” is deep in the insidious MLM scene and has been shilling essential oils that many anti-vaxxers think will cure any illness. The whole thing is mind-boggling, and you can watch the video and hate-read her essential oil promotions below. 

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Text - shrimp binch @shrimpbinch just looked at her page and she's trying to sell mlm style essential oils I am not making this up 3:17 PM · 5/20/20 · Twitter for iPhone

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Text - shrimp binch @shrimpbinch jesus fucking christ oils specifically for kids' bellies, but it works great on us adults too!! Hey friends!! Listen up mamas. If you have ever EVER been interested in getting these oils into your family's hands... been looking for some SIMPLE ways to bring nontoxic goodness & simple solutions into your home... This. Is. It. Are you seeing this right here??!! Feather the Owl diffuser - cutest diffuser in the world! It is a combo sound machine, nightlight, diffuse

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Text - Hey friends!! Listen up mamas. If you have ever EVER been interested in getting these oils into your family's hands... been looking for some SIMPLE ways to bring nontoxic goodness & simple solutions into your home... This. Is. It. Are you seeing this right here??!! If you're not actively ordering from Young Living... we need to TALK. (Like toda... because this is crazy time-sensitive). I would love to help you get this set into your home! These five oils are crucial for your family's well

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Text - Sleepylze - all the bedtime oils mixed together - this one is great in the diffuser for helping your kiddos drift off to sleep quickly! I LOVEE it! After applying to your kiddos, rub your hands over their pillow for dreamy sleep. * Tummygize - all things tummy!! Mixed blend of oils specifically for kids' bellies, but it works great on us adults too!! Feather the Owl diffuser - cutest diffuser in the world! It is a combo sound machine, nightlight, diffuser & cool mist humidifier. PERFECT f

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Design - *** If you ARE already a Young Living member, you can get the Little Oilers set for $112.5 + the Feather Diffuser & lavender for $49.75 - total of $162.25. Sco LITTLE OILERS STARTER KIT Net Contancs S Centia Cr Bend Each1OR g 10 19 Comments 2 Shares

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Text - shrimp binch @shrimpbinch how is this a real person who exists Thank you to all who have commented!! I'm not sure if I can respond to each of you, but WOW! You've blessed me so much with your support. I've been feeling so lonely and looking back at the video I think what I was feeling grief. It's like something has died. Yes. I know that PEOPLE have died. And for that I'm very sad. Other things have died too....and some of those things need to be resurrected!! We can care about human life

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Photo caption - Heather is tired @Cookhm81 Replying to @shrimpbinch Hahahaaaaa corona virus headed to the U.S. White women with essential oils

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Text - Mary Johanna @MaryJohanna6 Replying to @shrimpbinch That is way out there, too bad there is no oil for quarantine anxiety. 8:08 PM · 5/20/20 · Twitter Web App

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Text - mh40k @mh40k Replying to @shrimpbinch mine her for golden content please 3:19 PM · 5/20/20 · Twitter Web App 5 Likes One • Punch • Mickey e @bre... · 11h Replying to @mh40k and @shrimpbinch No way I can't take any more lol

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Nurse Wearing Snoopy Scrubs, Floral Face Mask To Work Must Think Pandemic Some Kind Of Joke

PORTLAND, ME—Speculating that the health worker simply did not grasp the gravity of the current situation, sources confirmed Thursday that Lauren Witters, a nurse wearing Snoopy-themed scrubs and a floral face mask while working at Maine Medical Center, must think the Covid-19 pandemic is some kind of joke. “We’re in…

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PORTLAND, ME—Speculating that the health worker simply did not grasp the gravity of the current situation, sources confirmed Thursday that Lauren Witters, a nurse wearing Snoopy-themed scrubs and a floral face mask while working at Maine Medical Center, must think the Covid-19 pandemic is some kind of joke. “We’re in…

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Desperate Sports Fan Would Almost Be Willing To Watch Own Kids Play In Backyard At This Point

BETHLEHEM, PA—Worried that the lack of professional athletic events was beginning to chip away at his very sanity, deprived sports fan Kendall Moyer confirmed Friday that he would almost be willing to watch his own kids play in the backyard at this point. “Christ, I’m so starved for sports that I caught myself on the…

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BETHLEHEM, PA—Worried that the lack of professional athletic events was beginning to chip away at his very sanity, deprived sports fan Kendall Moyer confirmed Friday that he would almost be willing to watch his own kids play in the backyard at this point. “Christ, I’m so starved for sports that I caught myself on the…

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Helpful HR Email Offers Employees Tips For Ignoring Mental Health

OAKLAND—Emphasizing that the staff’s output and productivity were of the utmost importance to management at this time, employees at tech company SeedFund confirmed Friday that HR had sent them a helpful email offering tips for ignoring their mental health. “During these trying times, if you’re ever feeling…

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OAKLAND—Emphasizing that the staff’s output and productivity were of the utmost importance to management at this time, employees at tech company SeedFund confirmed Friday that HR had sent them a helpful email offering tips for ignoring their mental health. “During these trying times, if you’re ever feeling…

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Whole Bunch Of 2020 Memes Because Everything Fricken Blows

Hands down, 2020 has been one of the worst years in any currently living person’s life. But who knows, maybe God will throw something worse at us in the future so let’s not tempt him further. If you’d like a roundup of memes from a simpler time before this sh*tstorm began, click here.

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Text - Salil Tripathi Jw zaGa... @saliltripathi Time spent looking at exponential graphs January February March Month of 2020 1:59 PM · 2020-03-27 · Twitter Web App

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Text - ex Brit @philleehh I live in Germany, where they applaud their health service by funding it Goodnight

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Photo caption - What do we say to the God of death? I WASHED MY HANDS

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Cartoon - me: wow it's a beautiful day out police: how the hell you know that?

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Face - Never thought l'd die fighting side by side with an Elf. What about 1.6m apart with a friend? Aye. That would be responsible

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Photography - Normal work procedure With Social Distancing Work From Home

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Arm - ALL I'M SAYING IS THAT THE WORLD WAS FINE UNTIL YALL STARTED DRINKING THEM SELTZER BEERS

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Organism - LIVE BREAKING NEWS US INVADES CORONAVIRUS 12:21 BECAUSE SCIENTIST SAID 'CORONA HAS OIL ON THE SURFACE'

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Text - Jamie Lee Finch @jamieleefinch WHO DO YOU PEOPLE THINK MILLENNIALS ARE, EXACTLY??? BECAUSE WE ARE NOT THE ONES ON SPRING BREAK. WE ARE IN OUR THIRTIES AND WE ARE YELLING AT OUR PARENTS TO STOP GOING TO CHURCH. FUCK. TIME TIME @TIME Mar 20 "One of the things that terrifies me now is, as this is spread in the west is, there's this sense of invulnerability among millennials." Millennials aren't taking the coronavirus seriously, warns WHO's Dr. Bruce Aylward ti.me/3bgRJ3Y

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Photo caption - When you drink 18M HCI in Chemistry lab E Professor GTON Me enjoying the forbidden lemon juice made with mematic

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Text - Ethan Weiss @ethanjweiss · 2h How's everyone's alcoholism going? 97 27 7 KDNDC @kdndc2016 Replying to @ethanjweiss My check liver light is on.

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Face - @hvifax quarantine king, he was truly ahead of his time

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Viking ships - Beautiful. Thanks to quarantine laws the North Sea is so much less polluted that Vikings are returning. The planet is healing क

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Text - jorge ivan 777 @lowlifee Can we bring back the year clowns tried to kill us all I liked that one more 7:34 PM · 3/23/20 · Twitter for iPhone

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Cartoon - Going back to work tomorrow like ENCY EXIT (chuckles) l'm essential.

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Text - Sad Kylo Ren @KylolsSad Be like Kylo Ren: - Wears a mask - Doesn't visit his elderly mom - Socially & emotionally distant - Talks to his gf only on Skype GIF ndercoverRen

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Facial expression - Is 3.4% a lot? Depends on the context. Percent of the For a raise? No. population dead? Yes.

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Animated cartoon - When you find out your normal daily lifestyle is called "quarantine"

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Cat - Introverts watching extroverts freaking out Pathetic.

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Text - Leah Greenberg @Leahgreenb I can't believe we have to clarify this but a scenario where the hospital system collapses and a million Americans die is also a scenario where the economy is very, very bad

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Text - Harrison Scott Civick @harrisoncivick Texas six months ago: "You may now purchase ONE case of beer directly from a brewery." Texas now: "Wanna buy a gallon of tequila from the Girl Scout table outside of McDonald's? We don't give a shit. World is ending." 8:03 PM · 3/21/20 · Twitter for iPhone 91 Retweets 368 Likes

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Hand - "So, how does it feel being essential employees?" Essential employees:

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Organism - When i genuinely believed 2020 was going to be the best year of my life mel aka honey @melissaolive1ra - 4/7/20 bomboclaat Show this thread 00

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Text - George @georgeattherock · Mar 23 "I'm going out" • boring • obvious might be illegal now? レ "I'm going outside for my state approved singular daily walk" • Mysterious • Kinda Soviet • Good for public health

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Text - 2020 Cancelled After careful consideration, we have decided that it is no longer in the best interests of everyone involved to proceed with 2020. While we recognise that a lot of hard work has gone into preparing for 2020, if we're honest it has turned into a bit of a shitshow and we feel it is best to just call it off. We understand that some of you were looking forward to seeing what cruel and peculiar clusterfuck of a disaster 2020 would throw up next. But on balance we believe it is p

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White - Me at the start of 2020 vs me 5 months into 2020 4.

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Text - wittyidiot @stephenszczerba Me Drinking Home Alone 2019: Sad Disturbing Loser Me Drinking Home Alone 2020: Citizen Inspiration Hero

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Eyewear - Me in 2040: "And then they shot this gorilla-" My kids: "What does this have to do with a toilet paper shortage?" Me: We get there when we get there!

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Text - Italy rushes 10K medical students into service during coronavirus outbreak, scrapping final exams Alright, kid, you're a doctor now

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Face - No one: God after every month of 2020: More! Disint -Core Trande More!

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Text - World: there's no way we can shut everything down in order to lower emissions, slow climate change and protect the environment. Mother Nature: here's a virus. Practice.

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Thirty-Six Pointless Memes Solely For The Purpose Of Entertainment

We have to give you the disclaimer that these memes are pretty much completely pointless. They won’t improve your life that much, but they will make you laugh. That’s something, right?

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Text - Rosievix @Rosievix It's a great question tbh... ib GOV.UK Ask a question at the coronavirus press conference Submit your question What is your question? Try to keep your question as short as possible. Do not include any sensitive personal information, like your National Insurance number or credit card details. You say we're allowed to play sports with members of the same household but my wife is shit at football and I don't want her on my team. How do I tell her? 1:10 AM · 5/13/20 · Twitt

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Abdomen - Jason Momoa is teaching his son how to throw an axe with his eyes closed. You're welcome.

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Adaptation - Little Miss Muffet: *sits on tuffet* Spider: adam.the.creator

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Chemical engineer - Me making a margarita while muted on a conference call -200 100

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Text - nashTM @nash_official someone explain to me why my 2 year old's khakis have full back pockets and i'm out here having to tuck my phone inside my boots 10:38 AM - 5/12/20 · Twitter for Android

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Text - Arianna Bradford @TheNYAMProject Late last night, I told my husband that I heard a noise. He walked out to go check on it in his underwear, armed with just his phone flashlight. It's nice to know that if we ever wind up in a horror movie, I won't be the first to die after all. 5:59 AM · 5/12/20 · Twitter for iPhone

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Canidae - WeRateDogs® O @dog_rates This is Arthur. He receiveda letter today from his 10-year-old neighbor, Troy. I'm told he is incredibly flattered and hopes to schedule a play date soon. 14/10 for both Hello neighbors MY Name is Troy I'm in and I'm just Wonder ing i4 day after this virus you nee d Sitter I can Take your dog on walks and moe 4th g rade a dog and if so 8XÆ A-12 0 5:00 PM · 5/12/20 · Twitter for iPhone

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Human - 小貓主越餐厅 PHRN My mom "Come see the guests." Me having a great time PHowLmao .A IA P PAURAETOUe uce

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Text - Thoughts of Dog® O @dog_feelings · 1d v i love you. and there's nothing you can do about it Q 710 2716.3K 129K WeRateDogs® O @dog_rates - 1d love you too Q 44 27 285 20.9K

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Facial expression - The professor's wife confronting him about his affair The professor Everyone else in the Zoom meeting:

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Poster - Brittany Brittany, 31 Monday 11:10 PM I tried really hard to come up with a clever caption for the picture of you with that statue But then I realized it was a bust Sent GIF Type a message...

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kangaroo - 'Doodlebug', an orphaned baby kangaroo was found abandoned on the side of the road when he walked up to a human, held out his arms, and asked to picked up. His rescuer later gave him a teddy bear, and he wouldn't stop hugging it.

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Cat - Being a soft cuddly baby Cats Being an asshole

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Cat - Because fuck you, that's why!

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Food - My wife bought a case of this cereal for me wtf 1 BOWL Every bite makes you better at & YOU'RE GOOD A T SEX doing sex. 10 LAYERS of Wheat 48g Whole Grain 6g of Fiber adam.the.creat

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Text - Today 6:18 PM pizza or Chinese? Anything, as long as l'm not eating with you Damn asshat why the fuck did you swipe right Sent Type a message... GIF V.

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Photo caption - WeRateDogs® O @dog_rates This is Moose. He accidentally opened the front facing camera. Decided to make the most of it. 12/10 : Stephanie McCann 9:23 AM · 5/11/20 · Twitter for iPhone

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Suit - GO My finger 1E OF T HBO The close button on ads

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Cartoon - Big burgers should be wider, not taller

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Cat - This is Petrie. She lost her eyes when she was a wee kitten. She's all grown up now and she's the happiest cat I know. Her hobbies include catching lizards (impressive) playing fetch (also impressive) drinking from my water cup and stealing my ice cream. Last photo is the first day I brought her home

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Cartoon - Annamated @Annamatedarts Loool Hello, I saw your Can you do me a art, It's so cool! favor? Artists Artists 10:51 AM · 5/12/20 · Twitter for Android

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Text - Сydni Beer @cydbeer My 7yo is having surgery today. He was most concerned with not being able to eat before the surgery but said he'd be strong if I made his siblings pancakes. His older brother then said there was no way he'd be eating in front of him and skipped breakfast with him today. 11:01 AM · 5/12/20 · Twitter for iPhone

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Dish - 8 hours of sleep 7 hours of sleep

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Clothing - Boomers: young people should be dressed better Also boomers when they were young: AS FRAT O/Eliako

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Lion - Bout to eat this idiot #blessed

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Hair - *businesses reopen* 5 seconds later:

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Text - Stupid Resumes @stupidresumes STUPID RESUMES Lol remember showing up to work after a 3-day holiday weekend being like "i DoN't ReMeMbEr HoW to do mY jOb?!" That was cute.

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Font - u/thebreadthieves Michael Jordan FLEX GEAL FLE TAPE New colors on the same sneakers PLEX People who can't afford their rent

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Text - Hannah Long @HannahGraceLong How I used to begin work emails: Hi! How I begin work emails now: O hope your family is in good health.

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Text - Salty Mermaid @Jenn_H_Scott CanI please take a break from all this work? -my kid, who has picked up 4 stuffed animals and a spoon

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Arm - kmick @kmickmon "XÆ A-12 come get your breakfast" ULTRALAST ULTRALAST

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Text - The government doesn't want you to know this is the same fucking person SHINGT

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Product - Been saying this shit for years STANDARD.CO.UK Cheese triggers the same part of the brain as hard drugs

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Text - Me finding a song after only knowing a few words

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Text - Therapist: So when would you say your stress began? ME: Pts. 0050200 HI 0050200 1: 14

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It Ain’t Rocket Science People

Funny meme from the TV show 'Friends' about why it's important to continue social distancing

Stop ruining it for the rest of us, DAMN.

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Florida Governor Deploys National Guard To Force Residents Back Into Malls, Movie Theaters

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Proclaiming that he simply could not allow people to remain in their homes any longer, Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis announced Thursday he had deployed the National Guard to force state residents back into shopping malls, movie theaters, restaurants, and other public spaces. “Today I have ordered both the…

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TALLAHASSEE, FL—Proclaiming that he simply could not allow people to remain in their homes any longer, Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis announced Thursday he had deployed the National Guard to force state residents back into shopping malls, movie theaters, restaurants, and other public spaces. “Today I have ordered both the…

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113-Year-Old Beats Coronavirus

Maria Branyas, a supercentenarian believed to be the oldest woman in Spain, confirmed in a video that she has survived a mild case of coronavirus, saying that “in terms of my health I am fine, with the same minor annoyances that anyone can have.” What do you think?

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Maria Branyas, a supercentenarian believed to be the oldest woman in Spain, confirmed in a video that she has survived a mild case of coronavirus, saying that “in terms of my health I am fine, with the same minor annoyances that anyone can have.” What do you think?

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Disgusting Bigotry: The Media Is Only Blaming This Bat For Coronavirus Because He’s A Gamer

Politicians and reporters have long used video games as a scapegoat for policy failures and broader societal missteps. Sadly, it looks like that pattern of bigotry towards gamers—long a source of contention in the industry—has even extended to the recent Covid-19 pandemic. Indeed, in an all-too-predictable…

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Politicians and reporters have long used video games as a scapegoat for policy failures and broader societal missteps. Sadly, it looks like that pattern of bigotry towards gamers—long a source of contention in the industry—has even extended to the recent Covid-19 pandemic. Indeed, in an all-too-predictable…

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Eighteen Healthcare Memes For The Heroes Who Deserve Some Damn Hazard Pay

We know, we know: memes are great and all but they aren’t going to pay your bills or address any of the mental anguish you’re going through right now. We strongly agree, and we think y’all should be valued monetarily, but we hope that in the mean time, these memes will at least make you laugh and lift your spirits!

We know, we know: memes are great and all but they aren’t going to pay your bills or address any of the mental anguish you’re going through right now. We strongly agree, and we think y’all should be valued monetarily, but we hope that in the mean time, these memes will at least make you laugh and lift your spirits!

1.

Cartoon - When I'm getting report and the nurse casually mentions that she gave docusate, senna, biscodyl, bumex, and removed a Foley.... 10 minutes ago. I WILL SEE YOU IN HELL!

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Text - Kyle @KylePlantEmoji [first day as a doctor] Me: I don't know how to tell you this... Patient: just say it doc. Me: *squinting* uhh nor-mo-cy-tic an- emia? I think that's right. Anywho ur blood's all fucky

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Text - Patient: What happens after we die? Doctor: We clean the bed & admit a new patient

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Facial expression - Patients who go to the hospital for back pain Me at work who's had back pain since nursing school @thefacetiousmurse

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Font - No Drlnks At THE nUrSes TaTiOn

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Face - How my elderly patient's penis looks at me right before I put the condom cath on @scrubzmemes

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Text - Her: Let's role-play tonight Him: Ok, l'll be the CDC Her: And l'll be a healthcare professional Him: Oh you're going to get so fucked @codebluememes

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Text - Me (a nurse) when I finally got my morgage paid with all the applause l've'been given.

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People - WHEN THE FAMILY OF A STABLE AND LOW RISK PATIENT SHOWS UP AND ARE UNDER THE IMPRESSION THEY RUN THE FLOOR @ThatNurseBert

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Bear - When my new grad orientee is talking to a physician on the phone who doesn't know I am also on the line Nurselifern

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Font - PLEASE DON'T EVER TELL ME IT'S TOO COLD FOR ICED COFFEE. I AM A NURSE & I AM DEAD INSIDE. HOMEOSTASIS HAS NO HOME HERE.

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Text - IF YOU ARE COUGHING KINDLY TAKE A MASK AND PUT ON That emoji is not coughing

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People - NPO means don't fucking eat. My patient: @memenurseofficial

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Face - "Wanna know how I got these scars?" @codebluememes

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Photo caption - "All nurses save lives" Hospice nurses: made with mematic

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Text - When the census has been super low on your floor so you thought you would definitely get canceled but now it's 30mins before your shift and you're heading to work knowing damn well they're going to float your ass Nurselifern

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Product - You said you took a bath today, the alcohol prep determined: that was a lie.

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Photo caption - When you call another floor to give report and one of your friends picks up WAZZZUUUUPPPPP!!! Nurselifern WAAZUUUŪUUP!!!

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Funny Times June 2020 Issue

Cartoons about Covid-19 . Sports . Quarantine . Father’s Day . Pirates . Farm & Garden . Hobbies . Robots . Art . Literature and more! Buy This Issue With cartoons by: Clay Bennett, Bizarro, Harry Bliss, Ruben Bolling, Matt Bors, Robert Brunelle, Martin Bucella, Jon Carter, Todd Condron, Dave Coverly, J.C. Duffy, Buddy Hickerson, Jeff Hobbs, David Horsey, John Jonik, …[ Read More ]

Cartoons about Covid-19 . Sports . Quarantine . Father’s Day . Pirates . Farm & Garden . Hobbies . Robots . Art . Literature and more!

Buy This Issue

With cartoons by: Clay Bennett, Bizarro, Harry Bliss, Ruben Bolling, Matt Bors, Robert Brunelle, Martin Bucella, Jon Carter, Todd Condron, Dave Coverly, J.C. Duffy, Buddy Hickerson, Jeff Hobbs, David Horsey, John Jonik, Ham Khan, L.J. Kopf, Mary Lawton, Carol Lay, Scott Masear, Brian McFadden, Steve McGinn, Chris Monroe, P.S. Mueller, A. Owsley, Mark Parisi, Joel Pett, Rina Piccolo, K.A. Polzin, Hilary Price, Ted Rall, Graham Sale, Harley Schwadron, Maria Scrivan, Andy Singer, Jen Sorensen, Ward Sutton, Tom Toles, Tom Tomorrow,  Matt Wuerker, Zippy, Adam Zyglis . . .  and lots more!

How I Spent My Pandemic Vacation
By Raymond Lesser

FUQ: Frequently Unasked Questions
By Swami Beyondananda

Today In Sports — Coronavirus Edition
By Tim Jones

Quentin Quarantine: The Movie Version Of My Life During The Pandemic
By Gretchen Volk

Ken Reffet, Stunt Fisherman
By K.A. Polzin

Losing To My Two-Year-Old
By Andrew Knott

The Borowitz Report — Special Coverage: Covid-19
By Andy Borowitz

The Key To Gardening
By Joanie Mickle

Workers Of The World, Unite!
By Steven Stampone

16 Reasons Why Vincent Van Gogh Was Never Called Vince
By J.C.Duffy

The Suspicious Banana Leaf T-Shirt
By Jackie Allison

The Funny Times Haiku Challenge
By You And You And YOU!

Planet Proctor
By Phil Proctor

PLUS:

Cartoons about On The Farm
Curmudgeon on Literature
Cartoons about Hobbies
Dave Maleckar’s 100 Word Rant
News Of The Weird
Harper’s Index
News & Political Cartoons

 

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Prize Hog Doesn’t Know How She Can Retain Competition-Ready Body For Another Year

HEDRICK, IA—After the upcoming county fair and its swine show were postponed indefinitely due to the coronavirus pandemic, sources confirmed Wednesday that prize hog Myrtle doesn’t know how she can retain her competition-ready body for another year. “I’ve been training for months with a very strict feeding and…

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HEDRICK, IA—After the upcoming county fair and its swine show were postponed indefinitely due to the coronavirus pandemic, sources confirmed Wednesday that prize hog Myrtle doesn’t know how she can retain her competition-ready body for another year. “I’ve been training for months with a very strict feeding and…

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Fresh Twitter Gems To Amuse The Masses

What if we told you that you could enjoy fresh amusement from Twitter without seeing all the crazies and wannabe politicians doing their thing? That’s what our Twitter galleries are all about. We put together theshort and sweet gemsso you can avoid the minefield that is social media.There’s something here for everyone, whether you’re looking for memes or simple one-liners. Happy scrolling!

1.

Rock - bug @crevicedwelling She made friends with an avocado

2.

Face - Kim Jong Undead @lickitoff Damn when black mirror saying shit is too wild shit is too wild IndieWire O @IndieWire 13h IndieWre #BlackMirror Creator Says the World Is Too Bleak Right Now for Season 6 bit.ly/3frZzKX

3.

Text - J. @_JJada_ $51,000? A YEAR?! and i'm out here doing this for FREE? honorary marlian @ayoobby1 · 2d damn being a clown don't seem that bad $51,000 a year Average Full-Time Clown Salary

4.

Text - Don't wake me @MamaBear2_0 Got a salad for lunch to be healthy. 2.5 hours later l'm eating chips and salsa because I was so good at lunch. Balance, right? 2:42 PM · 5/11/20 · Twitter for iPhone

5.

Product - rozhan @stylebyrxg can't wait to walk down the aisle

6.

Text - sarafcarter @sarafcarter Me: why can't I quiet my mind when it's time to go to sleep? Also me: *spends my whole night watching TV while texting and scrolling through Instagram*

7.

Text - BOLLOCKS @itsallbollocks Me: i miss my friends My friends: let's video call Me: no

8.

Text - virgil @fuckpercs bitches be sleeping with 8 pillows and 5 covers, with the fan on ... naked ..

9.

Text - Steady Flyer @SteadyFlyer What we study in class vs. what's on the exam paper fishball membrane fishballeolus lime fishball coral pasta cabbage strands of hair mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell pickled ginger matcha pepper orange peel

10.

Text - Ron Iver @ronnui_ This tweet is for dudes who learned guitar specifically to pick up girls ONLY- guys what happened I really thought this would work for us 11:20 AM · 5/11/20 · Twitter for Android

11.

Infrastructure - Chelsea Peretti @chelseapereti ..thus proving that squats and push- ups can be done anywhere..? 8 WFLA NEWS @WFLA · 1d WATCH: Protesters calling for gyms to reopen in Florida are doing squats and push-ups outside the Clearwater courthouse 8.wfla.com/2L9NDUQ #Florida #COVID19 Show this thread HAPPENING NOW: CLEARWATER GYM PROTEST Wwfla.com NOW NEW WFLA FANS RET ESTILL, ANTHONY MCCOMSEY, ANN NEVENI SANZ, CYNDI DANG, AMY GOMEZ, KAM 1-800 ASK-GARY 10:59 AM · 5/11/20 · Twitter for iP

12.

Text - the drake gatsby @DrakeGatsby Having a vasectomy is just the real life version of putting your Sims in the pool and deleting the ladder 7:45 PM · 5/11/20 · Twitter for iPhone

13.

Text - Jessie @mommajessiec Tjust gave my 2 weeks notice to 2020. 5:03 PM · 5/11/20 · Twitter for iPhone

14.

Text - Rodney Lacroix @RodLacroix Bars are going to make a fortune when they reopen because everyone's alcohol tolerance is through the roof right now 6:33 AM · 5/11/20 · Twitter Web App

15.

Text - @telushk My moms are both remarried so I have like 4 moms. Not to mention the large number of other lesbians they raised me in community with. What is the name for a group of lesbians? A riverbank? A Lilith's Brood? I know this is already a thing, someone give me the correct answer 2:44 PM · 5/10/20 · Twitter for iPhone

16.

Face - Adrian @adrnmrp me buying stuff online: "you don't need that, you're just bored"

17.

Product - pixelatedboat aka "mr tweets" @pixelatedboat Getting through this together Me Some website I ordered an HDMI cable from 6 years ago

18.

Text - cancela lansbury @gossipbabies Companies be like " Now more than ever , we will let you buy our product"

19.

Text - Alex Dragicevich @alexdrag_ Sorry I didn't respond to your text, I was on my phone

20.

Text - Jared Freid @jtrain56 Fighting a hangover with alcohol is why I'm not ready to be a parent. 7:12 PM · 5/6/20 · Twitter Web App

21.

Text - sarafcarter @sarafcarter People keep saying that when this is over, we should have no problem deciding where to eat. No. Can you imagine the amount of artificial pressure l'm gonna place on myself to pick the "right" restaurant now?? This is no ordinary Friday night, this is the First Supper

22.

Text - Cletus Van Damme IG: @goobertron_prime Never date a girl who carries a tiny purse or even worse no purse at all. She doesn't need you or anything else to survive.

23.

Text - Cletus Van Damme @GoobertronPrime The government can't fade me. Women been telling me I'm non-essential my whole life.

24.

Text - Cletus Van Damme IG: @goobertron_prime @eriannaloves I can fall in love with a dog immediately. However, it takes me approximately 7 to 10 years, 56 obstacle courses and weekly visits to the therapist to love a person.

25.

Text - SARA BUCKLEY @nottheworstmom Well-rested me: motherhood is a gift Tired me: fuck these kids

26.

Text - James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn Me: You have school tomorrow. 9-year-old: Real school or school with you? Me: School with me is real school. 9: Real teachers know math.

27.

Text - wittyidiot @stephenszczerba Catch feelings? In THIS economy?!?

28.

Skin - @sg_rose_ Quarantine day ???: the cat is trying to communicate

29.

Text - sarafcarter @sarafcarter Feel like if we dated and I drove you everywhere, cleaned up after you, and paid for all your shit, the least I could get is a Happy Mother's Day text

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Love And Marriage

RANDOM THOUGHT – Pirates must’ve loved butt-stuff to dedicate an entire leg to pegging. HI! PLEASE DISABLE YOUR ADBLOCKER OR WHITELIST US! YOUR SUPPORT MEANS A LOT! THANKS!!

RANDOM THOUGHT – Pirates must’ve loved butt-stuff to dedicate an entire leg to pegging.

HI! PLEASE DISABLE YOUR ADBLOCKER OR WHITELIST US! YOUR SUPPORT MEANS A LOT! THANKS!!

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