None Of That Filth

Funny meme that reads, "'No tattoos thanks, my body is a temple;' Temples:" above a photo of the murals in the Sistine Chapel

Nooooo thank you.

Submitted by: (via H0unds0fl0ve)

Click Here To View

Remix Of Televangelist Speaking In Tongues Is Actually Quite A Jam

Famous televangelist Kenneth Copeland’s tongues-speak actually works pretty well as a song. Who woulda thought?

Submitted by: (via WTFBrahh)

Click Here To View

25 Dank Memes With A Religious Lean

Warning: the following memes, while mostly having to do with Christianity, probably won’t make anyone who is sensitive and religious very happy. They might be about going to church and biblical figures, but they’re also here to call out hypocrisy (and Karens) at the same time. And we’re more than okay with that.

1.

People - "So, there I was... the only white guy in Jerusalem." II

2.

Prophet - Are you there, dad? It's me, you.

3.

People - BUT WHAT IF THEY'RE GAY OR THEY BELIEVE IN OTHER GODS? LOVE EVERYONE. NO MATTER WHAT. YES, EVEN IF THEY ASK STUPID QUESTIONS

4.

Grassland - Priests Children The rest of the church

5.

Wallet - The desert quadrilogy Jewish Adventures II The return of the jew Jewish Adventures III Revenge of Mohammed Jewish Adventures IV Jesus in Space Jewish Adventures Horr BisLE THE BOOK OF MORMON Another lestanent eus Christ Now available on amazon.com.

6.

Text - Admitting you cheated on your husband Creating an entire religion to explain why you're pregnant with another man's kid

7.

Text - madison!!! @madisonfrench_ priest: it be like that sometimes congregation: and sometimes like that it be

8.

Vehicle door - Church is over... Time to go be a c to some poor food worker

9.

Text - 4 hours ago in Boulder, Colorado At And then Jesus said, "when I come back in three days, I better not see any eggs. I don't care what you do - hide'em, paint'em, just get rid of them."

10.

Adaptation - Not a cellphone in sight... Just people living in the moment

11.

Font - This Easter remember, JESUS WAS NOT A ZOMBIE. He was not mindless nor did he consume anyone. Nor was he or a GHOUL Although his soul and intellect were a WIGHT, intact, he was not a rotting corpse. vampire. He was not a' While he transubstantiated wine into blood He never drank it trom a person ghost oraWRAITH. He was corporeal and Jesus was not a still had his wounds. It is clear. JESUS WAS A LỊCH. A lich is created when a powerful magician or king striving for eternal life uses spells o

12.

Text - Terry F @daemonic3 JESUS: I shall turn water to wine JUDAS: Actually wine is 85% water so that's only 15% miracle JESUS: This is literally the WORST betrayal

13.

Face - what I imagine people look like when they say they are sending thoughts and prayers

14.

Album cover - Jehovah's Fitnesses Wow, they're so fit

15.

Text - cool lobster who smokes @lobstadelic when someone asks "how's work?" JESUS CHRIST THE SAME YESTERDAY, TODAY AND FOREVER DER 13.5.

16.

Selfie - Would you worship me? l'd worship me. l'd worship me hard.

17.

Cartoon - scrotumcoat not many people know metallica opened for jesus' birth

18.

Mythology - Come on Jesus, show us yo titties I'm shy lol

19.

Cartoon - Don't worry Nick, it's all according to god's plan 1. Create universe 2. Give Nick CHILDHOOD TRAUMA WITH NO HEALTHY WAY TO COPE UNTIL HE RUINS EVERYTHING BEFORE GETTING HELP

20.

Event - We are gathered here today because your prayers didn't work

21.

Comics - Let me in! Why? So I can save you. From what? From what l'm going to do to you if you don't let me in.

22.

Water - ONDBEALREPAR BLACK staatly Stops Leaks! LEX APE Covid-19 People's prayers ND SLACK Hand of Christ

23.

Movie - The fuck they worshipping crosses for What part of my story makes them think I like crosses?

24.

Land vehicle - NOT BY SIGHT I DRIVE BY FAITH SMILEI Very poor choice of words.

25.

Text - My parents: God gave us the ability to believe or not believe. Me: I choose not to My parents: You weren't supposed to do that

Submitted by:

Click Here To View

Hilarious Twitter Thread Details A Totally Insane Christian Action Movie

Strap in folks, cause you’re in for a wild ride. PhD candidate Laura Robinson took to Twitter to detail a totally ridiculous movie she watched with her husband. The movie, entitled Assassin 33 AD, has pretty much everything including time travel, machine guns, and a frat house in heaven. 

And the best part of this movie is that it isn’t ironic at all. You can watch the trailer here if  you dare – it’s really…something. But if you’d rather have a text rundown of the whole movie then scroll down. Godspeed.

1.

Text - Laura Robinson @LauraRbnsn There is a deadly serious Christian action movie about Muslims who invent time travel so they can go back in time and kill Jesus so he can't die for our sins and of course my husband bought it because he's an actual monster.

2.

Text - Laura Robinson @LauraRbnsn · 14h My husband finds this hilarious. I have cringed myself in to a back injury from which I will never recover. 94 ♡ 109

3.

Text - Laura Robinson @LauraRbnsn · 14h As an adult convert to Christianity, Jon has never run in the circles in which this would be considered a great movie. I have. We are experiencing this film very differently. 123

4.

Text - Laura Robinson @LauraRbnsn · 14h US Marshalls just mowed down the disciples with machine guns. I am not making this up. 81

5.

Text - Laura Robinson @LauraRbnsn · 14h A doubting Christian just shot Jesus in the head with an automatic pistol. The doubting Christian acknowledged that when Jesus died, he was speaking English. Q4 O 70

6.

Text - Laura Robinson @LauraRbnsn · 13h I would bet that the science research involved in this movie came from watching LOST. 3 73

7.

Text - Laura Robinson @LauraRbnsn 13h The love interest was just shot in the abdomen. Our hero took off all his clothes but his tighty-whities and sneakers to make a bandage. Again, I am not making any of this up. 70

8.

Text - Laura Robinson @LauraRbnsn · 13h You can't imagine how offensive the black character is. Q2 64

9.

Text - 8:37 Laura Robinson @LauraRbnsn · 13h That said, the black guy is confessing to Jesus right now that he doesn't like the movie Passion of the Christ and it's pretty funny but also looks like a South Park scene. ♡ 77 Laura Robinson @LauraRbnsn · 13h I am so uncomfortable. 01 O 61 <] <]

10.

Text - Laura Robinson @LauraRbnsn Jesus and the black guy are now casually referring to Passion of the Christ as "my movie/your movie." Jesus knows about the movie Passion of the Christ and he really likes it.

11.

Text - 8:37 Laura Robinson @LauraRbnsn · 13h Replying to @LauraRbnsn There's another hour left of this movie so there's plenty of time for me to find a divorce lawyer. 03 O 95

12.

Text - Laura Robinson @LauraRbnsn - 13h A time traveller just had his watch stolen by a Roman. 62

13.

Text - Laura Robinson @LauraRbnsn · 13h I'm actually eliminating some key plot surprises from this twitter thread because I want you guys to experience the insane surprises for yourselves. 59

14.

Text - Laura Robinson @LauraRbnsn 13h I cannot overstate the deranged audacity with which these apparently pious filmmakers rewrote the story of the Passion and Resurrection to accommodate time travelers and their equipment. 67 <]

15.

Text - 8:37 Laura Robinson @LauraRbnsn · 13h My jaw is on the floor. Whatever you're imagining right now, it's so much crazier than you think. 58

16.

Text - Laura Robinson @LauraRbnsn · 13h Also the black guy just said "mucho gracias" to Mary Magdalene because she said "Rabboni." 63

17.

Text - Laura Robinson @LauraRbnsn 13h A man holds his dying friend in his arms. "God has a place for you in heaven! It's a frat house! *sob* With lots of beer!" 49

18.

Text - Laura Robinson @LauraRbnsn 13h This movie is painfully, worshipfully committed to the glory of the Lord, and is completely committed to the idea that Jesus' resurrection had nothing to do with God and everything to with American time travelers. 04 O 60

19.

Text - 8:37 Laura Robinson @LauraRbnsn · 13h Turns out you can forgive someone in one timeline and stab them to death for killing your girlfriend in another and Jesus still counts it. ♡ 44

20.

Text - Laura Robinson @LauraRbnsn · 13h "Use your Bible app!" - An action movie. 42

21.

Text - Laura Robinson @LauraRbnsn 12h I am gobsmacked. That movie truly has to be seen to be believed. Jim Carroll, I expect a cut from the proceeds of people who will rent that on my "recommendation," as it were. That was a wild and (unfortunately) unforgettable ride. 91 44

22.

Text - Laura Robinson @LauraRbnsn · 12h The movie is honestly charming in how it is both thoroughly sincere in its obvious love for Jesus, and also the most blasphemous thing ever made by filmmakers.

23.

Text - 8:37 Laura Robinson @LauraRbnsn · 1h Oh, one more thing: despite the thoroughgoing Islamophobia, there's an interesting detail where a character says that Muslims wouldn't kill Jesus because of his prophetic status, and someone corrects her that the villains "aren't Muslims, they're extremists." 01

24.

Text - Laura Robinson @LauraRbnsn · 1h I don't know if that was a cynical line thrown in to say "Look, we aren't Islamophobic" or expresses the genuine conviction of the filmmakers, but either way it was very noticeable. Q2

25.

Text - Laura Robinson @LauraRbnsn · 27m Anyway, the movie is Assassin 33 AD. With a content warning for gun violence and Islamophobia, I actually recommend the hell out of it. It's a wild and thoroughly impious mix between Jesus of Montreal, Lost, and Birdemic. 6.

Submitted by:

Click Here To View Planet7 | 400% Bonus | Generic with a signup form (Best Converting)

Sixteen ‘Deus Vult’ Memes For The Dank Crusaders

Here’s an interesting historical tidbit: “deus vult” was the war cry of the Crusaders during the First Crusade of 1095. Memers love these dank Crusade memes, and although we’re not entirely sure how they came to fruition, we’re glad for their existence. So scroll down to see some of ’em and head on over to Know Your Meme for tons more!

1.

Knight - You're at the club and this guy liberates your gf's Holy Land What do you do?

2.

Text - When the pope orders you to retake the holy land but Constantinople looks like it may have some spare gold lying around 9% D.12% 760 86 A 0.168 663 280 stonks +1.5 N/A 2.344

3.

Poster - when it's your birthday and your girlfriend says that she's got the perfect gift and it's the holy bible IDEUS VULT INTENSIFIESI

4.

Cartoon - Keep the distance Wash your hands Use mask Avoid public transport

5.

Vehicle - *tires screeching* "Hop in kid, we about to take back the holy land"

6.

Cartoon - When she ties herself to the bed and says do whatever you want A-crusade it is!

7.

Product - A start a family find a prestigious job be happy Reclaiming the Holy Land WHAT IS YOUR NAME? "OUR SERIALN "OU KLL HIM EXPLAIN WHA

8.

History - DEUS lo VULT The Board Game CWE

9.

Selfie - Things to do when bored in class Doodle Take a short nap Start a crusade to liberate Go on Reddit Jerusalem.

10.

Text - Hurting another person They are a muslim in jerusalem

11.

Knight - DUE TO LESS POLUTION DOLFINS ARE COMMING BACK TO THE COST OF ENGLAND JERUSALEM: imgflip.com

12.

Text - Teacher: Please make a small presentation on your plans for summer vacation Me:

13.

Poster - fustghelythings what would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?

14.

Text - DUOLINGO 08:11 Looks like you forgot your Latin again. You know what happens now! lesson u/Jake_Haslam

15.

Helmet - On all levels expect physical, christianity is a religion of peace crusades*

16.

Text - Israel or Palestine?" There is another

Submitted by:

Click Here To View Planet7 | 400% Bonus | Generic with a signup form (Best Converting)

Fourteen Easter Memes Perfect For Praisin’ The Lord

Unfortunately, Easter this year will be incredibly anti-climactic due to all of us being stuck at home in quarantine. We just hope these amusing memes will make your time marginally more bearable. 

Now please enjoy even more Christian memes!

Unfortunately, Easter this year will be incredibly anti-climactic due to all of us being stuck at home in quarantine. We just hope these amusing memes will make your time marginally more bearable. 

Now please enjoy even more Christian memes!

1.

Text - Jesus: u should carve the turkey, Judas. Judas: ok but why me? Jesus: ehh, I figured u like to stab things in the back FORTABLE CHRIST

2.

Text - Rev. Dr. Emily C. Heath O @emilycheath The first Easter didn't happen at a church. It happened outside of an empty tomb, while all the disciples were sequestered in a home, grief-stricken and wondering what was going on. So, we're all going to be keeping things pretty Biblical this #Easter.

3.

Technology - Nobody: Easter: could I offer you an egg in this trying time DORKLY

4.

Nativity scene - Selfie time! Everyone say YOLO!!! Not you, Jesus CMACGYVERINCMOM22

5.

Cartoon - Say some guy is dissing your fly gods Just put him on one of these

6.

Product - Easter is the day Jesus was reborn right? Yeah 00 Sot should fall on the same day every year Makessense to me WWhen is Easter ghen Idon't know it's different every year

7.

People - Jesus: *Dies on a cross* Christians:

8.

Text - Romans: *crucify Jesus* Jesus: I'm telling dad on you guys

9.

Photo caption - Jesus: ressurects from the dead Romans: You weren't supposed to do that

10.

Talent show - Jesus: *dies and gets resurrected* Chocolate companies: DANCE IN PROGRE STBlackST 48 743

11.

Face - Jesus: *Dies on a cross* Christians: PARRY'S PUB EGG

12.

Architecture - AD33 - AD2019 AD2020

13.

Cartoon - What do people call the day I was crucified? Good Friday. Yeah, we call it Good Friday! What the FUCK.

14.

Cartoon - Jesus on the third day must've been like: Dad. come pick me up I'm scared

Submitted by:

Source Pheromones

Have We Got A Show For You!

Only true ’90s kids understand this reference.

Funny meme that reads, "I'm so bored I've been trying to get these two to tell me Bible stories for the past hour" above a photo of a cucumber next to a tomato

Only true ’90s kids understand this reference.

Submitted by: (via dankest_christ_memes)

Source

Fanatical Christian Girl Sets G-Rated Ground Rules For Friend’s Vegas Bachelorette Party

Dear God (no pun intended), this story is a hoot if we ever saw one. When this girl didn’t get invited to her friend’s bachelorette party in Vegas, she made a scene until the bride decided to invite her. It doesn’t stop there though: she then sent out an email with a list of very Christian-influenced “rules” for the bride and her friends, and let’s just say they’re quite tame for a bachelorette getaway in Sin City…

Dear God (no pun intended), this story is a hoot if we ever saw one. When this girl didn’t get invited to her friend’s bachelorette party in Vegas, she made a scene until the bride decided to invite her. It doesn’t stop there though: she then sent out an email with a list of very Christian-influenced “rules” for the bride and her friends, and let’s just say they’re quite tame for a bachelorette getaway in Sin City…

Source Pheromones

Twitter Thread Tells The Story Of A Muslim Key-Keeper At A Holy Site In Jerusalem

For the first time since the Black Death in 1349, the Church of the Holy Sepulchre in Jerusalem was closed amid coronavirus fears. Journalist David Videcette took to Twitter to tell the story of the Muslim family that has guarded the keys to the church since the seventh century. 

Scroll down for your history lesson for the day, but if you’re craving more educational content, click here for some history memes!

For the first time since the Black Death in 1349, the Church of the Holy Sepulchre in Jerusalem was closed amid coronavirus fears. Journalist David Videcette took to Twitter to tell the story of the Muslim family that has guarded the keys to the church since the seventh century. 

Scroll down for your history lesson for the day, but if you’re craving more educational content, click here for some history memes!

Source Pheromones

Twenty-Eight Classical Art Memes For The Uninspired Artist

Want to laugh but also feel the tiniest bit intelligent while you’re at it? These memes will do the trick. It’s no history-meme gallery, but classical art memes will definitely make you feel the tiniest bit cultured. Probably. 

And while you’re at it, have some more! You won’t be sorry.

Want to laugh but also feel the tiniest bit intelligent while you’re at it? These memes will do the trick. It’s no history-meme gallery, but classical art memes will definitely make you feel the tiniest bit cultured. Probably. 

And while you’re at it, have some more! You won’t be sorry.

Source Pheromones

Twenty-Three ‘He Is The Messiah’ Memes Inspired By ‘Life Of Brian’

So perhaps the Baby Boomer generation did create something great; Monty Python, which has unarguably gone down in history as one of the greatest comedy troupes of all time. Accordingly, we’ve gathered up some of the best “He is the Messiah” memes inspired by the film Life of Brian.

Unfortunately though, we have some sad news in that the film’s director Terry Jones has passed away. RIP.

Check out Know Your Meme for even more examples!

So perhaps the Baby Boomer generation did create something great; Monty Python, which has unarguably gone down in history as one of the greatest comedy troupes of all time. Accordingly, we’ve gathered up some of the best “He is the Messiah” memes inspired by the film Life of Brian.

Unfortunately though, we have some sad news in that the film’s director Terry Jones has passed away. RIP.

Check out Know Your Meme for even more examples!

Source

Sixteen Reaction Memes Inspired By The Restoration Of The Ghent Altarpiece Lamb

God bless the artists who attempt to restore classic works, such as our favorite Ecce Homo that we all know and love to mock. Can’t say they didn’t try! 

However, we have to admit that while this particular restoration of the Ghent Altarpiece lamb isn’t technically artistically bad, it’s still creepy-looking and kind of misses the mark. But at least we get some good memes out of it!

God bless the artists who attempt to restore classic works, such as our favorite Ecce Homo that we all know and love to mock. Can’t say they didn’t try! 

However, we have to admit that while this particular restoration of the Ghent Altarpiece lamb isn’t technically artistically bad, it’s still creepy-looking and kind of misses the mark. But at least we get some good memes out of it!

Source

Tumblr’s Short Discussion on Diluting Holy Water

Hey man, you never know when a gallon of pope water could come in handy. So there’s specific rules to how you can dilute holy water. The more you know. Tumblr has interesting discussions on religious history, like how angels could be viewed as absolutely terrifying.

Hey man, you never know when a gallon of pope water could come in handy. So there’s specific rules to how you can dilute holy water. The more you know. Tumblr has interesting discussions on religious history, like how angels could be viewed as absolutely terrifying.

Source

Religious Memes For Believers And Non-Believers Alike

Religious memes are some of our favorite types of memes, and we hope you like them too. Whether you’re a strong believer in The Word or a goat-sacrificing satanist, we think you’ll get a kick out of these memes. Now get on over to church, or whatever it is you do.

Religious memes are some of our favorite types of memes, and we hope you like them too. Whether you’re a strong believer in The Word or a goat-sacrificing satanist, we think you’ll get a kick out of these memes. Now get on over to church, or whatever it is you do.

Source

‘Michelangelo’ Twitter Meme Highlights How Unsuccessful We All Are

If you were in the mood to feel exceptionally bad about yourself today, then just scroll through these parody Twitter memes which point out the fact that many famous people were exceptionally young when they created brilliant works of art. Well, at least we can all come together over feeling worthless now, right? That’s gotta be worth something.

If you were in the mood to feel exceptionally bad about yourself today, then just scroll through these parody Twitter memes which point out the fact that many famous people were exceptionally young when they created brilliant works of art. Well, at least we can all come together over feeling worthless now, right? That’s gotta be worth something.

Source

Dank Christian Memes Perfect For Praisin’ The Lord

Whether you’re walkin’ with the Lord or a straight-up devil-worshiping sinner, we think you’ll find some enjoyment out of these comical Christian memes. If Jesus was around today, we think he’d be a meme guy, so he’d probably be cool with you skipping Bible study on Wednesday to look at memes instead. (Probably.)

Source

Disturbing Teen Trend: Adolescents Across The Country Are Getting Together WEEKLY to Worship A Dead Man Named Jesus Christ

Parents, beware: A terrifying new trend is sweeping the nation, and your child could be the next to participate. Adolescents across the country are getting together WEEKLY to worship a dead man known as “Jesus Christ.”

Just bone-chilling. There’s nothing scarier than seeing young people getting sucked into a strange and dangerous craze like this one.

Advertisement

American parents might have thought they’d seen the worst of teen fads with Slenderman-inspired violence and the out-of-control Tide Pod challenge, but this scary practice that has taken hold in towns and cities all over America may be even worse. The trend is every mom or dad’s worst nightmare: Droves of adolescents from across the U.S. are gathering once a week (sometimes more) to pray to a half-naked, deceased young man whom they call “Jesus.” And if that were not disturbing enough, the kids also claim that he tells them exactly how to live their lives—thousands of parents have reported that seemingly overnight, their teens have started changing their behavior to be more in line with what this ominous “Jesus” wants from them.

Interest in the “Jesus Christ” fad often passes by word of mouth, and it doesn’t take long for teens to claim that they are willing to “give their life to Jesus.” The name of their practice? “Christianity”—after the very “Christ” they have become obsessed with.

This is not the type of thing any parent wants to see their child involved in. As terrifying as it is to consider, you have to wonder: Could this “Jesus Christ” be the Charles Manson of Generation Z?

With kids growing up faster than ever, it has become harder and harder to keep your family safe, and this new “Jesus Christ” trend might be the most insidious threat yet—in many towns, there are GROWN ADULTS who convince kids to worship the bearded figure, even helping them partake in a depraved ritual during which they eat food and drink wine that they claim to TRULY BELIEVE is “Jesus’s” flesh and blood.

Advertisement

These teens, immature as they are, seem unable to see reason. Instead, they spend their time actually SPEAKING to the disembodied Christ and claiming that they can hear his voice at ALL TIMES. Who knows what kinds of dangerous challenges or stunts this “Jesus” could be telling children to take part in—some say he talks frequently about being crucified, which any parent would have to hope is something their child would never try.

Horrifying. This news has to be terrifying for anyone raising a teen. Please, monitor your kids closely—and make sure to ask if they have heard about this “Christianity” fad so you can set them on the right path to be responsible and say no to it.

Advertisement

Source