‘Bee Movie’ Gets Even Better With Unnecessary Censorship

“Humans, HUMANS. I can’t believe you **** humans!”

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No Need To Panic Over ‘Murder Hornets,’ According To This Informative Thread

Recently it was announced that the Asian giant hornet, otherwise known as the “murder hornet” had been spotted in North America for the first time earlier this month. While many of us have been downright panicking over it, others have been doing their research, like this woman, who decided to draft up a Facebook post of the misconceptions about our new little yellow friend. We hope it puts your mind a little more at ease!

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Text - Marianne Alleyne Monday at 5:10 PM • Dropping some more hornet knowledge (compiled from multiple posts I have seen come by today, including from Annie Rich Thompson):

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Text - 'The NY Times ran a story this weekend which was promptly echoed through local media outlets about the Asian Giant Hornet which they so thoughtfully deemed "the murder hornet." In so doing, they have blown a problem way out of proportion.

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Text - 1. The Asian Hornet is not the "murder hornet." Murder hornets received their silly nickname because they murder lots of honeybees by popping their heads off. Their actual common name is Asian Giant Hornet. They're bigger so they have a bigger stinger and a little more venom than we might be used to but they're still not much bigger of a deal than a lot of the invasive wasp and bees we already have.

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Text - 2. It was introduced to the US near Seattle, Washington where it remains. Asian hornets are not found in Illinois, for instance. If you see a large hornet in the US, it is most likely either the European Hornet or the Cicada-killer. [Edit] Just let them be, unless you are a commercial beekeeper since EHs do attack bee hives. (There are many more worrisome invasive insects out there that deserve our attention and resources to protect our public health, food security, etc.: https://entomolo

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Text - 3. The sting of an Asian Hornet is not more deadly, than any other wasp/bee. Even if they do show up where you live - they will not just start chasing you. If you stomp on their nest in the ground, you might get stung and you might holler cause it HURTS! Like yellow jacket nests. Also, if you're allergic or get stung a ton of times, it can threaten your life. Just don't bother them.

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Text - 4. States and the USDA are developing monitoring programs in case the Asian Hornet begins to spread, but for now it is only found in northwest Washington state. So don't murder any hornets if you do not live in Washington State.

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Text - 5. They don't kill native bees, they kill invasive or farmed European honey bees which are farmed for pollination and honey. This SUCKS for beekeepers and those who love to eat honey. But again. Unless you're a honey bee, you're not getting murdered. (They will also attack some other wasp species and larger insects in Asia.)

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Text - 6. If you want to learn about an insect or any other animal, search its scientific name, not its common name or it's sensationalized nickname. The Asian Giant Hornet is Vespa mandarina. It's fun to share scary memes and articles of murder wasps but when you do it just furthers false information and fear.

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Bee - Bees preparing for the murder hornets CLORO

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Insect - 2020 can't get any worse... May: MAY 5, 2020

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‘Murder Hornets’ Are 2020’s Latest Little Gift To Us

Is anyone even phased by anything anymore? At this point, news could break that an asteroid is barreling toward planet earth and literally no one would bat an eye. It seems that May’s little “surprise” for us is the Asian giant hornet, or as it’s more commonly being referred to, the “murder hornet” that was spotted in North America for the first time just a few months ago. Luckily these guys typically aren’t aggressive toward humans, but they are known to decapitate honey bees with their horrifyingly large claws. On the bright side, perhaps this will encourage people to stay inside so we can tackle the pandemic going on? Thanks 2020!

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Text - ABSOLUTELY NOBODY: 2020:GOOD NEWS EVERYBODY The New York Times 38 mins · Asian giant hornets, nicknamed "murder hornets," have mandibles shaped like spiked shark fins to decapitate honeybees. Their venom and stingers have been likened to hot metal driving into skin. And now, for the first time, they have arrived in the U.S. NYTIMES.COM Tracking the 'Murder Hornet': A Deadly Pest Has Reached North America imgflip.com

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Arm - Having the worst fucking year ever Honeybees Humans

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Face - Me: "I can't wait until this whole COVID situation is over so we can move on" Murder hornets: fb.com/DunderMifflinMeme

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Honeybee - NEW YORN POST Asia's 'murder hornet found in US for first time 5 hours ago May, what are you doing?

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Font - Destroy your 2020 plans and goals COVID-19 Murder Hornets imgfip.com

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Clothing - Jan Feb Mar | Apr| May

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Face - Time Traveler. What year is it? Me: Well, we are dealing with Covid-19 right now. T.T.: Oh, so the Murder Hornet infestation will start soon. The WHAT

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People - @workingintech 2020 Covid-19 Giant murder hornets

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Text - Covid-19 numbers start to decline Murder Hornets: Неу.

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Text - April: "At least it can't get any worse" May: GIANT MURDER HORNETS

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Honeybee - Quarantine is lifted and everyone can finally leave their homes. Murder Hornets:

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Adaptation - February and March: *Pandemic outbreak* April: *Government releases UFO footage" May: In North America

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Text - People in America seeing that murder hornets are being found in America for the first time

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Australia Pics That Are Too Horrifying For Words

Ah, Australia: the land of British prisoners and silly accents. In case you needed another reason to never ever go there, here are 29 horrifying pictures of nightmarish animals. Alas, these things are real and if they don’t phase you at all then you may or may not be some sort of psycho.

Ah, Australia: the land of British prisoners and silly accents. In case you needed another reason to never ever go there, here are 29 horrifying pictures of nightmarish animals. Alas, these things are real and if they don’t phase you at all then you may or may not be some sort of psycho.

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Funny Entomologist Rates Accuracy of Ant Emojis

Honestly this wasn’t something we’d ever think about, but the fact that someone is this passionate about ant emojis makes you think “of course someone would notice this and have an incredibly precise opinion on it.” Here are some really funny reviews of various animals themselves.

Honestly this wasn’t something we’d ever think about, but the fact that someone is this passionate about ant emojis makes you think “of course someone would notice this and have an incredibly precise opinion on it.” Here are some really funny reviews of various animals themselves.

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Entitled Single Mom Tries To Scam Seller, Gets Caught Red-Handed

Why is it always the “mommy” types who seem like the most entitled, rude people? Being a mom doesn’t automatically mean you get handed things in life for free. Granted, who knows whether this lady is actually a single mom like she claims. 

Regardless, her insufferable demeanor provides for the best kind of schadenfreude!

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Bold Strategy: PAM Is Now Marketing Its Cooking Spray As Bug Spray Too Since You Gotta Figure That Anything You Spray At A Bug For A Few Seconds Should Kill It

Whether you’re an aspiring entrepreneur or a successful CEO, you can probably glean some business wisdom from this new genius marketing strategy from a kitchen-goods giant: PAM is now advertising their cooking spray as a bug spray, too, after realizing that anything you spray at a bug long enough is probably gonna kill the thing.

Brilliant move, PAM!

PAM’s bold new advertising strategy postulates that if you really soak a pesky insect with cooking oil, it’ll most likely die, making PAM an awesome, dual-use product for both greasing pans and dealing with unwanted pests. “We figure that most bugs will drown or suffocate or get too slippery to move or something if you spray them with enough of a liquid like PAM, so, why not—we’re a bug spray now too,” said a company spokeswoman at a recent press conference. “We hope that shoppers will look to the iconic PAM bottle not just as a food prep tool, but also as something that will definitely mess with an insect’s antennae or mandibles or pheromones or whatever in a pretty significant way, and thus most likely kill it.”

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“To be clear, PAM is still in no way poisonous,” the spokeswoman continued. “It’s just something wet you can spray a bug with.”

Yep, we have a feeling this is going to be great for sales. Whoever came up with this new marketing plan deserves a raise!

The innovative new campaign includes a TV spot that depicts a mom using PAM to coat a baking tin before spying an enormous centipede walking across her counter and squirting it with oil until it stops moving. The shot is followed by a narrator reciting the company’s new slogan: “PAM: There’s no way that’s not gonna kill it.” PAM has also updated the imagery on their canisters to include not only fried eggs and baked goods, but also a big, grease-covered beetle laying on its back—and they’ve had the bottles added to pest control aisles of grocery stores around the country in addition to their typical spot among the baking goods.

Wow! What a bold move. There are definitely some marketing geniuses over at the PAM offices. It’s not always easy to stay afloat in the grocery products industry, but it’s original thinking like this that keeps PAM at the head of the pack. Bravo, PAM!

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Bee Memes Celebrating Those Furry little Pollinators

A fun fact about bumble bees for you: there are more than 255 species of bee, the largest being the queen of the Bombus dahlbomii species, which can grow up to 1.6 inches! They reside in the forests of southern South America and have even been referred to as “flying mice” for their insane size! We think bumble bees are fricken adorable, but no thanks on that one!

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Nature’s Perfect Design: Scientists Believe That Studying Woodpeckers Could Totally Revolutionize The Way We Bash Trees Apart With Our Heads To Find Bugs

Studying nature has long provided humanity with insights into how to better adapt to our world, and now experts believe that a secret to improving our everyday lives may very well be perched on a tree in your backyard: Scientists are optimistic that researching woodpeckers could completely revolutionize the way we bash trees apart with our heads to find bugs.

Wow! This could be huge!

Following preliminary research into the anatomy and biomechanics of woodpeckers, scientists at Cornell University say they are confident that further analysis of these birds could radically improve how we apply blunt force to trees with our skulls to locate insects, thus providing us with smarter, more efficient strategies for reducing timber to splinters while minimizing the resultant brain trauma. Conventional wisdom has long dictated that the best way to procure locusts from a tree is to slam one’s face against the bark with unhindered energy until bloody and marbled, but the researchers say they’re becoming increasingly convinced that the woodpeckers’ technique, which favors precision over belligerent thrashing, could yield far superior results.

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“Woodpeckers have more than 25 million years of practice breaking apart trees with their heads, and we’re realizing we can probably learn a thing or two from them,” said neurobiologist Katherine Layfield, the study’s lead researcher. “Woodpeckers slam their heads against trees with 10 times the force of an NFL hit, yet you never see them becoming concussed to the point of shitting their pants like humans so often do when head-butting trees. You never see them screaming in agony and breaking their teeth as they futilely smash their faces against trees for hours on end, failing to coax out a single bug as their facial features become swollen beyond recognition. This is partly due to certain protective evolutionary adaptations they’ve developed, but we’re also finding that there are methods to their madness that could prove useful to humans.”

“For example, instead of yelling, ‘I’m about to bash the living shit out of you, bugs,” and charging headfirst into a tree in a way that dangerously distributes the force into the soft part of your skull and spine, you could instead take cues from woodpeckers and employ rapid, low-impact head-butts so that your neck muscles absorb most of the force,” she continued. “That way, you won’t knock yourself unconscious before you get to all the bugs.”

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Layfield says that, according to her team’s estimates, emulating the head-banging mechanics of woodpeckers could result in a 500% higher bug return for humans while exponentially reducing debilitating brain injuries. And humans can also use technology to mimic certain useful evolutionary traits of woodpeckers, such as their large, cushion-like tongues, whose force-absorbing properties could be reproduced by simply stuffing a sneaker in one’s mouth before slamming one’s head against a tree.

Amazing!

While the researchers have still barely scratched the surface on all we can learn from woodpeckers, we’re nonetheless excited to see what these peculiar little birds will teach us about effective tree-bashing in years to come. Look, out, bugs—your days are numbered!

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