Millennials Aren’t The Worst Generation When Compared To Historical Disciplinary Records, Says This Twitter Thread

It’s a tradition that the older generations have to hate on the younger generations for absolutely any reason they can think of. Doesn’t matter what for, because it was just “better back in the day,” in their logic. 

Self-described “recovering academic” Jenny Bann pulled up some hilariously enlightening historical records of the behavioral problems exhibited by 18th century male students in Scotland. 

Let’s just say they’re…less than wholesome and make Millennials look angelic in comparison!

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Three Adorable Hyrax Pups Have Been Born At Chester Zoo

These little cuties weigh no more than a banana (250 g), unlike their closest relative, the elephant, which weighs between 200 and 268 lb. So how are these unlikely creatures related? It all goes back to their shared ancestor, Tethytheria, which died around 50 million years ago. Although that’s a long time for the animals to grow apart, they still share a few key qualities that is unique to only them. 

Hyrax have tusks that grow from their incisor teeth, like elephants. All other mammals have tusks that grow from their canine teeth. They also both have flattened nails on their feet, rather than long nails like most mammals have, and similar skull structures to elephants. Who would have known? 

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Meet TV Head Man, The Newest American Urban Legend


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And odds are that TV Head Man will strike again, as this isn’t even the first time they’ve darkened the doorsteps of Henrico County residents. In August of 2018, a more modest 20-something old TVs were dropped off in another part of the county. But what are the motives behind these delivery drive-by’s? Did TVHM mean for this old TVs to serve as a gift to the needy? Was it some sort of villainous calling card? Will the TVs soon spring to life, emitting a video of a haunting carousel ride before exploding in a cloud of laughing gas, like something out of a ’60s Batman comic? Or did this half-man, half-TV simply needed a place to ditch their bastard offspring, choosing a rural middle-class neighborhood to give them good homes where they could frolic in backyard sheds surrounded by boxes upon boxes of hoarded RCA connectors?


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To many of their TV targets, it doesn’t matter if they’re a villain, a hero, or just some drunk college kid. They just see their Friendly Neighborhood TV Head Man as a welcome whimsical distraction from the dumpster fire of their American lives. “I think it was awesome, lighthearted and so great to have a fun story like this, even though there are so many tragedies occurring,” said Jeane Brooksbank, one the beleaguered bequeathed. And when it feels like the gods have abandoned you, it’s nice to know that one hasn’t, even if it’s the trickster god of antiquated small appliances.

For more weird tangents and his personal recipes for toilet wine, do follow Cedric on Twitter.

For more, check out Fun ‘Star Wars’ Theory: What If Luke Was Secretly Dead? and Loot Crate Is Bankrupt, Can’t Pay Employees Deadpool Merch.

Also, we’d love to know more about you and your interesting lives, dear readers. If you spend your days doing cool stuff, drop us a line at iDoCoolStuff at Cracked dot com, and maybe we can share your story with the entire internet.

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Embarrassing: This Woman Thinks The Chinese Characters She Has Tattooed On Her Back Mean ‘Slut Of All Hamburgers’ But They Actually Mean ‘Quiet Wisdom’

Ugh, it doesn’t get much cringier than this. A woman in Seattle just permanently embarrassed herself when she failed to do her research and got big, bold, black Chinese characters tattooed on her back which she thought meant “slut of all hamburgers” but instead translated to—get this—“quiet wisdom.”

Oof. We’ve got ourselves a candidate for Facepalm Of The Year.

When 23-year-old Justine Wilson settled on the design for her ridiculous new tat, she failed to consult with a single Chinese speaker and instead just ran the phrase through a random online translation service she found on Google, which is incredibly unfortunate, as anyone with a basic familiarity with the language would’ve immediately caught her boneheaded mistake. Instead, she walked around in a tank top for several days flaunting the tattoo under the mistaken belief she was announcing herself as the Slut Of All Hamburgers to the world, only to eventually be alerted to the blunder by a Chinese classmate who delicately informed her that, if anything, she was the Slut Of Terrible Tattoos. Upon learning of her error, it goes without saying that this self-proclaimed hamburger slut was beyond mortified.

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While the tattoo itself actually looks quite beautiful, the artistic merits unfortunately will not be enough to keep anyone who reads Chinese from doubling over with laughter when they see it, wondering why on earth someone would deface their body with a phase as asinine as “quiet wisdom.” And as a debt-strapped grad student who has to work three different restaurant jobs just to make ends meet, it’ll be a long time before Justine can afford the expensive (not to mention painful) laser treatments she needs to get the humiliating tattoo removed, and it’ll be even longer before she can drum up the cash to have it redone to read “slut of all hamburgers” as originally intended. Until then, Justine’s just gonna have to cover the tat with a shawl when she’s out in public if she doesn’t want to be mercilessly ridiculed by every single Chinese person who passes her on the street, even though she honestly kind of deserves it.

Poor girl. It’s gonna be a long, long time before she lives this one down.

If you’re ever thinking of getting a foreign phrase tattooed on your skin, just remember the lesson of Miss “Quiet Wisdom” here and be sure to do your homework. Otherwise you just might end up regretting it for the rest of your life.

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That’s a yikes from me…

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Derek Jeter Just Going To Go Ahead And Count Stray Cats In Marlins Attendance Figure

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Roasts Of People For Where They Look Like They Work (14 Roasts)

Sometimes stereotypes can be harmful, but other times they’re pretty amusing. In this instance, these people asked Twitter to roast a photo of them based on what it looks like they do for a living. Don’t feel too sorry for them because, well, you can’t say they weren’t literally asking for it!

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Ready To Squee? Baby Animals Are Truly The Best

There is nothing more wholesome in this world than baby animals. Forget human babies, animals are just way cuter. And less needy and the daily upkeep is not even a comparison. Though I have seen plenty of people train pets with diapers, to hilarious effect. But what if you could just gaze at baby animals waddling around, just being adorable simply for existing. So without further ado, here are gifs of some of the cutest animals around.

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Four Loko Is Back As A Hard Seltzer To Make You Hate Water

Four Loko was all the regret of rushing a Florida frat conveniently condensed into a single can. Now, you’d be forgiven for thinking that the brand of alcoholic energy drinks had gone out of business ages ago after they allegedly killed a bunch of people, since that’s what usually happens when your product leapfrogs hangovers right to alcohol poisoning and heart failure. But it didn’t die. It was just lying in wait until the public and the beverage industry caught on to its delicious mix of cough syrup and irresponsibility.


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Now that alcoholic seltzer waters like White Claw and TRULY have been accepted by basic bros entering their 30s, Four Loko has emerged from exile determined to reclaim its title as the premier disgusting alcoholic beverage. Thus, the debut of Four Loko Seltzer.

Four Loko Seltzer’s biggest selling point is that it’ll have three times more alcohol than its hard water competitors. (That’s the recipe base for three of the Lokos. The fourth Loko is a tightly guarded company secret.) If the minds behind Four Loko were creating a character in a video game, they’d push all the sliders to the max and wind up with a homunculus that would die choking on Mardi Gras beads soon after its birth. They can’t try to just make a thing; the thing has to be the biggest, boldest, most creative thing. And while it will absolutely fail to be any of those, it will succeed in being the dumbest thing.

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Devastating Disappointment: This Grandma Just Joined Facebook But Weirdly Seems To Know What She’s Doing So It’s Not Funny In The Least

Prepare to be incredibly frustrated.

When 84-year-old Sharlene Coates joined Facebook earlier this week, it seemed it had all the makings for a perfect storm of internet hilarity: An elderly woman eager to connect with friends and family on a new platform with which she was wholly unfamiliar, using technology that has historically been a source of great confusion for people of her general demographic. Sadly, however, she has defied all expectations and taken to Facebook like a pro, using the social network with the competence of someone a quarter her age while avoiding all the humorous blunders so common among her peers.

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Goddammit. What a huge letdown.

The list of ways Sharlene’s proficient use of Facebook has robbed the world of comedy gold is long. While you’d hope that her profile picture would be incredibly pixelated and either weirdly stretched or poorly cropped, it is instead a disappointingly well-formatted and all-around lovely photo of her smiling in front of a picturesque beach backdrop. And while you’d think that, like so many grandmas before her, she’d take to sharing spammy right-wing memes from insane clickbait pages with names like “Jesus Is My Lord” and “Daily Giggles USA,” so far she has only linked content from legitimate, trustworthy media outlets like The Guardian and The New York Times. Further, her status updates have all been properly spelled and punctuated, she’s refrained from leaving embarrassing comments on her grandchildren’s posts that she signs with her name as if writing a letter, and, worst of all, she perfectly understands how to navigate Facebook’s interface and has never once accidentally posted a personal direct message as a status update or written “Happy birthday” on her own wall instead of a friend’s.

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Usually when you go through an old person’s Facebook photos, there’s at least a few blurry shots of piles of laundry or empty furniture that look like they were taken and uploaded accidentally. Unfortunately, Sharlene’s photos are all just pretty decent pictures of completely regular things like her garden and craft projects, all in clear focus and bearing accurate captions such as, “Zucchinis are coming in nicely.” It’s so boring! No gross close-ups of her dog licking peanut butter off of her hand, no selfies depicting mysterious skin ailments, and she doesn’t even do the thing where she regularly re-uploads the same low-resolution profile pic but with wacky new frames.

It’s utterly maddening. Literally nothing she’s done so far is funny.

It’s possible that she has some sort of younger family member showing her the ropes and helping her avoid the standard Facebook faux pas, and if so, curses on that person. But if she is indeed figuring it out all on her own, then she is truly an anomaly, because you just don’t ever see people born before WWII navigating social media with such savvy poise. Kudos to her, we suppose, for bucking all the ageist stereotypes and having her shit together online—even though it’s honestly a huge bummer for the rest of us.

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Pull-ups with 20kg/44lbs weight added

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When stuck in a bitter divorce, consider the “paperwork bomb” (8 GIFs)

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Brazilian Government Equips Firefighters With Flamethrowers To Combat Massive Amazon Rainforest

BRASILIA—In response to an environmental crisis that threatened mass swaths of the country, the Brazilian government announced Thursday that it was equipping crews of firefighters with flamethrowers to combat the massive Amazon rainforest. “We have marshaled our resources and distributed flamethrowers to thousands of emergency personnel so they can effectively fight this devastating tropical forest before it causes even more destruction,” said Brazilian president Jair Bolsonaro, noting that the massive, catastrophic biome had already expanded to over 2.1 million square miles of the country and posed significant threats for the country’s population and economy. “This huge surge of Amazon rainforest isn’t going to be contained overnight, but our hope is that the firefighters, each of whom has been given a flamethrower with a 25-foot range, as well as the helicopters equipped with thousands of gallons of oil to release over the rainforest, will be able to restrict its damage. While our focus is obviously on fighting the jungle’s perimeter, it’s also important to ask why previous administrations failed to address the conditions that let this rainforest get so out of hand.” Calling it a “global concern,” world leaders including U.S. president Donald Trump and Chinese president Xi Jinping pledged to send additional flamethrowers and rescue personnel to limit the massive rainforest’s global impact. 

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Techy Memes For The IT-Inclined

We can’t all be walking talking IT departments. But some people are, and thank GAWD for them. These techy memes will resonate with anyone who’s been able to help people with the internet or coding beyond saying “have you tried unplugging it and plugging it back in?”

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6 Real-Life Villains Who’d Be Too Crazy For Comic Books

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The Quiet Businessman Who Had A Fetish For Derailing Trains

Before 1930, Szilveszter Matuska was the most average man to have ever lived. He ran a respectable building supplies company in Austria, and was a loving father and devout Catholic. Then one day, Matuska decided he would quite like to see some trains crash. And so, like an old-timey Mr. Glass, he set out to make that happen.

After his first two attempts to derail trains were clumsy failures, Matuska bought a disused quarry and went on a Rocky-style montage to practice his dynamite skills. In 1931, he successfully blew up a bridge outside of Berlin, sending a train hurtling 30 feet into a gully. Miraculously, there were no casualties — something that couldn’t be said a month later, when he collapsed another bridge and dropped the Budapest-Vienna Express 75 feet, killing 22 passengers. Matuska was found at the scene laughing with delight. He even claimed to be a survivor (a really, really happy one), and helped rescue others from the crash, afterward returning to Vienna for a celebratory nine-day sex binge with 12 different prostitutes.

Via Wikimedia CommonsYou wouldn’t think he’d had it in him — or by that point, in a dozen prostitutes.

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Damning Report: Mom’s Investigation Into Why This Restaurant Keeps The AC Up So High Has Concluded That It’s Because They Want Their Customers To Freeze

Lunch today was supposed to be a relaxed, casual affair, but in light of some shocking revelations, it’s turned out to be anything but: Mom’s investigation into why this restaurant keeps the AC up so high has concluded that it’s because they want their customers to freeze.

This is a truly damning report.

Upon entering Red Robin earlier today, Mom immediately noticed that the restaurant was uncomfortably chilly, an observation she loudly expressed to the hostess as she was seating the family at a booth, the vinyl upholstery of which, Mom also noted, was very cold to the touch. This prompted Mom to open a preliminary probe into whether or not the family was seated directly underneath an air conditioning vent, which indeed turned out to be the case, thus confirming Mom’s theory as to why frigid air was blasting straight down her neck and making her cold.

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Mom then conclusively determined that the restaurant must be intentionally trying to make its customers freeze, her primary evidence being that “It’s the middle of the summer and they know people will be wearing shorts and tank tops, yet they still insist on making it feel like Antarctica in here.” She also noted that “This is exactly what happened when we came here last summer,” suggesting that this was not an isolated incident but rather a malicious, ongoing conspiracy aimed at making the customers who spend their hard-earned money feel miserable.

“The only explanation for why they’d turn this place into an icebox is that they want to see us shiver,” Mom deduced, adding that she didn’t even want to drink the Diet Coke she’d ordered anymore because it’d just make her colder. “I could go get my sweater from the car, but it’s August, for crying out loud! I shouldn’t have to wear a sweater.”

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She went on to hypothesize that she’d probably be more comfortable baking out in the 95-degree sun than she would “sitting in this freezer,” after which Dad suggested asking the server if the family could move to a table out on the patio. However, Mom dismissed this idea, as she didn’t want filthy pigeons constantly walking up to the table begging for fries.

Damn. Mom’s definitely built a pretty incriminating case against the restaurant here.

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At press time, Mom was detailing her plans to go home and leave a negative Yelp review for the restaurant, as she believed that a manager might see her complaint and make things right with a free appetizer or comped drinks. Dad, meanwhile, was launching an investigation of his own into how much it must cost the restaurant each month to keep the AC cranked up so high while people are constantly opening the door and letting out air—his initial hypothesis being that it likely cost “an arm and a leg.”

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Arabic phobic

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Spooky Autumn Memes For The Summer-Haters (15 Memes)

These memes are for everyone who’s just over the hot weather and ready for scarves, pumpkins, and Christian Girl Autumn. Sweating and sunburns are so last season anyway. 

And, you know, it may only be August but who gives a f*ck – bring on the PSLs. Does this make us basic white girls? Probably, but guess what, haters gonna hate.

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10 Fun Friday Minion Quotes

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10 friday minion memes for the day.

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Best of Food Pranks | Just For Laughs Compilation



We've always been told to never play with our food. This video is proof that we're terrible listeners. Do you have a favourite type of prank? Let us know what it is and maybe it'll be our next compilation! #BestOfJustForLaughsGags #FoodPranks #EatingPranks #BestOfJustForLaughs WATCH MORE GAGS CONTENT: https://www.facebook.com/jflgags/ SUBSCRIBE: http://bit.ly/SubscribeJFL Watch our latest pranks! https://bit.ly/2TMC9sy Watch more #JFLGags !
Kid Pranks!: https://bit.ly/2Hwfv0K
Food Pranks!: https://bit.ly/2U47XbL
Cop Pranks!: https://bit.ly/2TdUoSx
Newest Videos: https://bit.ly/2Y61D2o
Best Pranks of 2018!: https://bit.ly/2CseeDL #JustforLaughs Gags Across the Internet:
Visit our store: http://bit.ly/1OJuRNO
JFL Comedy: https://bit.ly/2Y9pJcL Twitter: https://twitter.com/jflgags
Facebook: https://facebook.com/jflgags Instagram: https://instagram.com/justforlaughs/ Help us translate our titles! http://www.youtube.com/timedtext_cs_p… Filmed in Montreal, Quebec Welcome to the world-famous #JustforLaughsGags channel, where we pull public pranks on unsuspecting Montreal residents and tourists. Subscribe to our channel ▶▶ http://bit.ly/SubscribeJFL ◀◀ and stay up to date on our daily pranks! Source

Buying House Plants

That is kinda true, actually.

Once upon a time, I was thirteen years old. A venus flytrap seed was in my possession. So, of course, I plant it. The seed was planted in an encasing, mini-greenhouse. Its purpose was to simulate the warm, humid environment of the jungle, where the plant likes to reside. The venus flytrap was watered on a regular basis. It was tended to, it was cared for, and it was loved. I even managed to get the seed to sprout–there was a cute, tiny leaf! It wasn’t until the fateful day of its death arrived that I had to say goodbye. You see, I didn’t clean out its cage one day, and let it sit all night in a moist cage. I woke up the next day to find a dead plant, completely surrounded by mold.

This just goes to show that, number one, I suck at raising plants. And, number two, this post is kinda true.

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Spider-Man Quits Marvel, A New Matrix — Is It 2001 Again?

We’re quickly nearing the very futuristic-sounding year 2020, and with the summer movie season almost over, we’re finally getting a glimpse at the big announcements that will guide us into an exciting new decade of the 21st century and- Hold up, why are my jeans suddenly flared? And why is Sum41 playing on the radio? And why is there a radio in the room? Great Scott, we’ve gone back in time to the early ’00s! Quick, buy stocks in furry pornography!

It sure feels like we’ve leapt back 20 years, and not just because of all the terrorist attacks by brainwashed virgins. Lots of this week’s big movie news reads like it came from a generation ago. It’s been announced that Lana Wachowski is making a new Matrix sequel which will see the unexpected return of Keanu Reeves as Neo and Carrie-Anne Moss as Trinity. Wachowski even said that she’s returning to the series because “many of the ideas Lilly and I explored 20 years ago about our reality are even more relevant now.” And somehow, fans are again excited about this, despite the empirical existence of two other sequels which we won’t name, lest we cause a certain stripe of 30-something to reflexively crush their phone out of sheer anger.


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That same lack of about 20 years worth of fan hindsight is, amazingly, also present in another kind of throwback: Sony taking Spider-Man away from Marvel. With the unexpected news that Sony is breaking ties with the Marvel Cinematic Universe because negotiations with Disney have broken down, fans are having a very retro hissy fit about Sony’s ability to make good superhero movies. Which is weird, because they’ve now been responsible for not one, not two, but two and a half successful incarnations of Spider-Man without any help from Kevin Feige. Yet fans are still backing struggling underdog Disney (if you’re still pretending it’s 2001 again) in their plan to strong-arm Sony into taking 50% of their Spider-Man earnings for seemingly no other reason than wanting to see Spider-Man briefly appear to high-five Dr. Strange in the fourth hour of the next Avengers movie.

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Nature’s Perfect Design: Scientists Believe That Studying Woodpeckers Could Totally Revolutionize The Way We Bash Trees Apart With Our Heads To Find Bugs

Studying nature has long provided humanity with insights into how to better adapt to our world, and now experts believe that a secret to improving our everyday lives may very well be perched on a tree in your backyard: Scientists are optimistic that researching woodpeckers could completely revolutionize the way we bash trees apart with our heads to find bugs.

Wow! This could be huge!

Following preliminary research into the anatomy and biomechanics of woodpeckers, scientists at Cornell University say they are confident that further analysis of these birds could radically improve how we apply blunt force to trees with our skulls to locate insects, thus providing us with smarter, more efficient strategies for reducing timber to splinters while minimizing the resultant brain trauma. Conventional wisdom has long dictated that the best way to procure locusts from a tree is to slam one’s face against the bark with unhindered energy until bloody and marbled, but the researchers say they’re becoming increasingly convinced that the woodpeckers’ technique, which favors precision over belligerent thrashing, could yield far superior results.

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“Woodpeckers have more than 25 million years of practice breaking apart trees with their heads, and we’re realizing we can probably learn a thing or two from them,” said neurobiologist Katherine Layfield, the study’s lead researcher. “Woodpeckers slam their heads against trees with 10 times the force of an NFL hit, yet you never see them becoming concussed to the point of shitting their pants like humans so often do when head-butting trees. You never see them screaming in agony and breaking their teeth as they futilely smash their faces against trees for hours on end, failing to coax out a single bug as their facial features become swollen beyond recognition. This is partly due to certain protective evolutionary adaptations they’ve developed, but we’re also finding that there are methods to their madness that could prove useful to humans.”

“For example, instead of yelling, ‘I’m about to bash the living shit out of you, bugs,” and charging headfirst into a tree in a way that dangerously distributes the force into the soft part of your skull and spine, you could instead take cues from woodpeckers and employ rapid, low-impact head-butts so that your neck muscles absorb most of the force,” she continued. “That way, you won’t knock yourself unconscious before you get to all the bugs.”

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Layfield says that, according to her team’s estimates, emulating the head-banging mechanics of woodpeckers could result in a 500% higher bug return for humans while exponentially reducing debilitating brain injuries. And humans can also use technology to mimic certain useful evolutionary traits of woodpeckers, such as their large, cushion-like tongues, whose force-absorbing properties could be reproduced by simply stuffing a sneaker in one’s mouth before slamming one’s head against a tree.

Amazing!

While the researchers have still barely scratched the surface on all we can learn from woodpeckers, we’re nonetheless excited to see what these peculiar little birds will teach us about effective tree-bashing in years to come. Look, out, bugs—your days are numbered!

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My friends house key is shaped like a sword.

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Crowd Roars In Approval As Makeup-Smeared Trump Begs Rally To Tell Him He’s Beautiful

SMITHFIELD, VA—Screaming and wailing through tears as mascara streamed down his cheeks, a makeup-smeared President Donald Trump begged a packed campaign rally Thursday to tell him he was beautiful. “America, as your leader, I need you to look me in the eye and let me know there’s no one in this country prettier than me—no one,” said the 45th president, who demanded the event’s approximately 10,000 attendees call him their “special, gorgeous baby” and later yelled, “I don’t believe you! I don’t believe you,” when the crowd started up a chant of “You are beautiful” that continued for several minutes. “You wouldn’t lie to me, right? I can tell when you’re lying, because you don’t even really mean what you’re chanting, you’re just telling me what I want to hear to make me stay. Well, you know what, Virginia? Fuck you. I’ll go find some supporters who will appreciate me for the perfect, special president that I really am.” At press time, Secret Service agents could be seen diving onto the stage after Trump threatened to kill himself if the crowd left and then took a bottle of bleach out from behind the podium to prove he was serious.

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Dank Star Wars Memes For The Die-Hard Fans

There are some memes that just NEVER get old, and Star Wars memes (whether they’re prequel or sequel memes) definitely fall into that category. These examples are particularly dank, with some extra fresh memes mixed in. Chances are that even if you’re not the nerdiest fan, there will be more than a few jokes for you to chuckle at.

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Best of Statue Pranks | Just For Laughs Compilation



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Are You Ready For The New Adorable Line Of Guinea Pig Halloween Costumes?

After being long ignored by pet costumers, guinea pigs started getting outfits tailor-made for their tiny frames a few years ago. PetSmart just revealed this year’s line of Halloween customs for guinea pigs and it includes everything cute you can think about- sharks, pineapples, mermaids, superheroes and more. While it is only August, the guinea pig costumes are already available online at PetSmart.com for 3.99$- $6.99. We are totally in love! 

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7 Unbelievable Stories Of Pets Reuniting With Their Owners

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A Left-For-Dead Dog Tracked The Soldier Who Saved Him Over 75 Miles

When you hear about a Marine disobeying orders, it’s usually over something like “SHOOT THOSE CIVILIANS!” or “BRING THE XENOMORPH BACK ALIVE!” In Major Brian Dennis’ case, the order was simply “No pets allowed,” but that doesn’t make his story any less badass.

While stationed in Iraq in 2007, Dennis befriended a wild dog nicknamed “Nubs,” because someone had cut off his ears. Further, Nubs had been stabbed with a screwdriver one day and left to die. That’s how Dennis found him. The wound was infected, so Dennis broke the “No pets” rule to bandage him up and let the dog sleep in his bed. Dennis expected Nubs to die in the night, but that comfy bed did the trick, and he pulled through. And then they lived happily ever after? Nope, because Dennis and his team were then relocated to another fort some 75 miles away.


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The day they left, Nubs chased Dennis’ vehicle until it was out of his sight, and everyone assumed that was the last they’d see of him But a few days after the Marines arrived at the new fort, so did Nubs. He went on a literal paw patrol and managed to track his human all the way to his new station. At this point, Dennis quit any pretense that this wasn’t his dog, but his superiors didn’t see it that way. Luckily, with the help of friends and volunteers, Nubs was relocated to the U.S., where he lived with Dennis until his death in 2018.

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Body Positivity Win: Dad Is Changing Out Of His Swimsuit In The Beach Parking Lot With His Bare Ass In Plain View Of Everyone

So much media today teaches us to be ashamed of our bodies, but one amazing man is going against the grain and taking a brave stand for body positivity: Dad is changing out of his swimsuit in the beach parking lot with his bare ass in plain view of everyone.

Way to go, Dad! Your nude ass is a symbol of progress, and we are absolutely here for it!

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Dad had just returned to the car with the family after spending the day swimming at the beach when he realized that his wet bathing suit was going to get water all over the car. Since the bathroom was all the way on the other side of the parking lot, Dad made the admirable choice to whip off his swim trunks right then and there, where the whole family and dozens of strangers could catch a glimpse of his nude buttocks—and even his penis from certain angles—as he clumsily peeled off his wet clothes and let passersby take a look at parts of his body that the morality police tells us we should keep hidden.

While modern society pressures people to change clothing in private so that their nude body isn’t on full display to everyone at the beach currently looking for parking, Dad is body-positive and self-possessed enough to show off his bare ass as he hops around trying to wriggle out of his wet swim trunks. It’s a level of confidence that is honestly inspiring. Hopefully, all the little boys at the beach today can see Dad’s bravery and grow up feeling empowered to show off their own bare asses to the world!

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When Mom started to get all embarrassed because people in the parking lot were staring at Dad and making faces, Dad responded to that regressive, ass-shaming monster by reminding her that he “didn’t have any parts that they’ve never seen before” and continuing to flaunt his nude backside as he changed into his dry cargo shorts. Yep, with that body-positive retort from Dad, Mom is officially cancelled and Dad and his ass are king!

We are seriously so inspired right now! If everyone else was as body-positive as Dad, then the world would be a much better place. Here’s hoping that Dad’s remarkable actions today will empower people to love their bodies enough to change out of their swim trunks wherever they feel like it.

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First day of school

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What Parenting Really Looks Like

My two kids didn’t ruin my life. They’re the best thing in my life. This article was apparently written by and for shitty, miserable parents. Go figure my own mother shared this to me and she was a horrible, abusive and unloving mother. But I don’t mind that nowadays. She taught me everything NOT to be as a parent. And my relationship with my kids is nothing but light and love.

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Report Finds Majority Of Freeway Accidents Could Have Easily Been Filmed

WASHINGTON—Advising motorists to remain vigilant at all times, the U.S. Department of Transportation released a report Thursday that found the vast majority of freeway accidents could have been filmed. “Our data revealed that in almost every instance where a massive car wreck occurred, there was something that alert drivers could have done to get it on camera,” said DOT spokesperson Emily Patsel, stressing that texting while driving shifts focus away from recording potential pile-ups and lowers reaction time that’s necessary to open a phone camera to capture the traffic crash. “It is essential that motorists keep their eyes and cameras trained on the road at all times. Of course, accidents are bound to occur, so we urge drivers to take all necessary precautions to ensure that not a second of viral content of a car being sideswiped before careening off an overpass is senselessly lost.” Patsel also advised that when driving on nights where people might be drinking, it was crucial that one friend remain sober as a designated cameraperson.

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Twenty Times Trolls Of ‘Customer Support’ Provided Sass In Lieu Of Help

This fake “Customer Support” account has been trolling Facebook for what feels like forever. The tolls behind the account focus mainly on UK-based businesses, but we can still appreciate their antics from across the pond. Trolling is basically a universal language – it’s quite beautiful.

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Strangers Accidentally Flip Baby Stroller



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