That lady’s prayer was answered

709 points, 122 comments.

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Misfortune Monday: Putting things in Perspective

Almost everyone would rather be relaxing at home than having to do any of this annoying “paying your bills” bullcrap, but as dark as some things can seem on Monday morning, they could certainly be worse. Misfortune Monday lets you see people dealing with the fallout of chaos and failure and serves as a good reminder that maybe things are going alright.

Almost everyone would rather be relaxing at home than having to do any of this annoying “paying your bills” bullcrap, but as dark as some things can seem on Monday morning, they could certainly be worse. Misfortune Monday lets you see people dealing with the fallout of chaos and failure and serves as a good reminder that maybe things are going alright.

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Experts Recommend Tuning Them Out And Just Trying To Enjoy Your Life

BALTIMORE—Citing several in-depth studies that would likely make you second-guess the only gratifying and pleasurable parts of your existence, researchers at Johns Hopkins University announced Monday that the only recommendation they’re making at this time is that you tune out experts such as themselves and just try…

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BALTIMORE—Citing several in-depth studies that would likely make you second-guess the only gratifying and pleasurable parts of your existence, researchers at Johns Hopkins University announced Monday that the only recommendation they’re making at this time is that you tune out experts such as themselves and just try to enjoy your life. “Look, as experts in our various fields, we absolutely mean well, but it seems like every week now we’re conducting extensive research on what you should and shouldn’t be eating, how much you should be exercising, how much screen time is detrimental to you, whether you’re having enough of the right kind of sex, how much you should be worrying about work versus your quality of life, when to forgive family members who have wronged you, even how much you should or shouldn’t sleep—anyway, the point is that the best thing for you right now is probably just to stop listening to us at all and just do what makes you feel good,” said Adrienne Sanchez, lead research scientist on several projects you’re definitely better off not knowing about. “One week we tell you to eat as many eggs as you can, the next we tell you eggs are killing you, the week after that it’s the yolks—we get it, it’s exhausting. Even now, I was coming out here to share some supposed ‘breakthrough’ in modern wellness, but honestly, what you most need to hear is that you’re going to die someday no matter what, so maybe just take good basic care and try to have a nice time while you’re still here.” Sanchez noted that experts would gladly make any and all new study results available in case anyone is interested but recommended the best course of action would be to try and not concern yourself with them, honestly.

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Chuckle-worthy Memes For When You Need Humorous Relief

What do we want?

Memes

When do we want them? 

All the damn time! 

This batch of memes has it all: Marvel memes, relatable attacks on our lives, and a whole lot of Simpsons shitposts. Even better? It’s a long weekend so you don’t have to feel guilty about messin’ around.

What do we want?

Memes

When do we want them? 

All the damn time! 

This batch of memes has it all: Marvel memes, relatable attacks on our lives, and a whole lot of Simpsons shitposts. Even better? It’s a long weekend so you don’t have to feel guilty about messin’ around.

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5 Unknown People Who Shaped History (While Being Lunatics)

By Ryan Menezes,Nicholas Vrchoticky,Christian Markle  Published: February 17th, 2020 

1

The Founder Of NASA’s Jet Propulsion Lab Was Into Occult Sex Magic

Most things aren’t rocket science — except, of course, rocket science. That’s why the founding of NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory was such an incredible feat. Which makes it even weirder that its founder, Jack Parsons, was into some very medieval mumbo-jumbo.

Despite only having a high school diploma, Parsons and his colleagues (known as “The Suicide Squad”) started the first government-funded research group for rocketry with a measly $1,000 in funding. While developing jet engines for the U.S. Air Corps, Parsons developed a stable solid-state rocket fuel that was later used shuttles and missiles into space, something that previously was thought as impossible as a witch weighing more than a duck.


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At the same time that Parsons was inventing technology that would pave the way for space travel, he was also experimenting with the occult, which might be par for the course for someone getting told over and over that he’s pushing the bounds of nature. Parsons joined the Ordo Templi Orientis, an occult belief system that largely centered around the idea that you could sorta will stuff into existence. More interesting than the theory was the practice. In order to *ahem* stimulate the arcane, Parsons and his palm-reading pals partook in sex magic, as they believed that orgasms are highly magical. And uh, yeah? But that’s not, like, a thing you should base a religion on. Is it?

Hey baby, wanna take a magical mustache ride straight to the moon?Los Angeles Times“Hey baby, wanna take a magical mustache ride straight to the moon?”

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Finally a religion I can get behind… And in front… And in spoon…

895 points, 31 comments.

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Walmart Keeps Posting Pictures of This Employee Posing With Stuff, She Goes Viral

Meet Charlene. She works at Walmart North East in Maryland. She poses with various products for the store’s Facebook page and people are loving how hilarious the pics look. Probably because of the contrast between her easygoing attitude and her serious expression. Or because it’s obvious that she’s genuinely having fun. The look in her […]

Meet Charlene. She works at Walmart North East in Maryland. She poses with various products for the store’s Facebook page and people are loving how hilarious the pics look. Probably because of the contrast between her easygoing attitude and her serious expression. Or because it’s obvious that she’s genuinely having fun. The look in her eyes says it all!

Meet Charlene. She loves working at Walmart.Meet Charlene. She loves working at Walmart.

.

Charlene is currently going viral on the internet and various websites are having fun showing off her photos to the world. Walmart North East even started a petition to try and send Charlene to the Ellen Degeneres show to recognize her efforts… and you can help out by signing it here.

Meet Charlene. She loves working at Walmart.Meet Charlene. She loves working at Walmart.Meet Charlene. She loves working at Walmart.Meet Charlene. She loves working at Walmart.Meet Charlene. She loves working at Walmart.Meet Charlene. She loves working at Walmart.Meet Charlene. She loves working at Walmart.Meet Charlene. She loves working at Walmart.

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Heart-Melting Pictures Of Special Needs Chihuahua And Pigeon Who Can’t Fly

Meet the unlikely duo that has the internet melting! Herman (the pigeon) and Lundy (the 8-week-old Chihuahua), both at The Mia Foundation, an organization dedicated to giving pets with birth defects across the country a fighting chance.

Herman is a pigeon who cannot fly, and Lundy is a special needs Chihuahua.

Herman and Lundy were both placed on the same pillow at the New York-based non-profit and they took to each other right away! 

“I set Herman on a dog bed and started caring for Lundy, and I decided to carefully put Lundy in the same dog bed next to him,” Sue Rogers, who founded The Mia Foundation in 2012, told PEOPLE, of how the adorable friendship moment started.

The pics have since gone viral! 

Meet the unlikely duo that has the internet melting! Herman (the pigeon) and Lundy (the 8-week-old Chihuahua), both at The Mia Foundation, an organization dedicated to giving pets with birth defects across the country a fighting chance.

Herman is a pigeon who cannot fly, and Lundy is a special needs Chihuahua.

Herman and Lundy were both placed on the same pillow at the New York-based non-profit and they took to each other right away! 

“I set Herman on a dog bed and started caring for Lundy, and I decided to carefully put Lundy in the same dog bed next to him,” Sue Rogers, who founded The Mia Foundation in 2012, told PEOPLE, of how the adorable friendship moment started.

The pics have since gone viral! 

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Waiter Asks If Couple Would Like To Pack Him Up In Little Box And Take Him Home For Later

OMAHA, NE—Emphasizing that it was no problem at all and that he’d be happy to grab a to-go container, a couple at the Midtown Bar & Grille told reporters Monday that their waiter Aaron Sadelaer asked them if they’d like to pack him up in a little box and take him home for later. “Just give me two minutes, I’ll get you…

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OMAHA, NE—Emphasizing that it was no problem at all and that he’d be happy to grab a to-go container, a couple at the Midtown Bar & Grille told reporters Monday that their waiter Aaron Sadelaer asked them if they’d like to pack him up in a little box and take him home for later. “Just give me two minutes, I’ll get you the check, and then I’ll get yours truly, a.k.a. the Aaron Special, all wrapped up for you in no time,” said the 27-year-old as he beckoned to himself, adding that while he was best enjoyed hot and fresh out of the kitchen, he’d also be just as good as either a midnight snack or a guilty treat the next day. “No, no, please! You two have barely touched me. Look, I know I come in a big portion size, but it would be such a shame if someone let something as delicious as the head waiter of Midtown Bar & Grille go to waste. Seriously, I’ll even throw in a little extra marinara that you can dip me in tomorrow—my treat! Now, who wants dessert?” At press time, Sadelaer was reportedly panicking after the couple had opted to pack him up and take him from the restaurant, only to accidentally leave him in their car overnight.

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Lucy Disapproves (I Love Lucy)

Disappointed GIF,Disapproval GIF,Disapproves GIF,I Love Lucy GIF,Lucille Ball GIF,Lucy Ricardo GIF. Discover & share this No GIF with everyone you […]

The post Lucy Disapproves (I Love Lucy) appeared first on Reaction GIFs.

What is a reaction gif?

A reaction gif is a physical or emotional response that is captured into an animated gif. These little short clips are normally extracted from famous TV shows and movies, and represent different range of emotions from happy, laughing and excitement expressions to rage and negative emotions

Why use them?

Because are fun. It has become very common and popular to reply messages on Facebook, Reddit, chats and emails using a impact image that express what you want to say without using words.

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5 Cameos That Flew Off The Rails Completely

By Adam Wears  Published: February 17th, 2020 

3

The Spice Girls Movie Had To Drop Several Cameos For Awful Reasons

1997 was a big year for movies, what with the release of Titanic, Men In Black, and Batman & Robin. In December, however, Spice World arrived to blow these piddly offerings out of the water. And how could it not? It had everything: the Spice Girls, that one song that goes “zig-a zig zig-a,” and a string of cameos from celebrities eager to get aboard the Spice Train before it had a chance to fly into a ravine. And how could they have known that the entire production was apparently the target of an ancient curse?


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The producers managed to bag a cameo by renowned designer Gianni Versace — the idea being that all along, he was the one designing the girls’, um, distinctive fashions. Unfortunately, his cameo had to be cut after he was assassinated by a deranged psychopath a few months ahead of the release. One month after that, a reference to Princess Diana also had to be excised after she died in a car accident — coincidentally also caused by a deranged psychopath, Queen Eliza[REDACTED FOR LEGAL REASONS].

And it gets worse. In one scene, the girls broke out into a rendition of “I’m The Leader Of The Gang (I Am!),” the climax of which featured a cameo by none other than the song’s original singer, Gary Glitter — glam rocker, icon, and convicted child molester. Two weeks after the final cut of the movie was delivered to the studio, Glitter was arrested after a bunch of child pornography was found on his hard drive. He was immediately cut from the movie, but it soon found its way onto the internet. Which was impressive, considering that — judging by the quality — it was apparently filmed on a camera from 1897.

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Turn down for what

Tags: thieves, chile, owned

978 points, 47 comments.

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That’s not how women work at all… Or is it? (25 Photos)

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Parenting Experts Reveal Forcing Child To Shoot Dying Pet Only Teaches Lesson About Mortality For First 5 Or So Times

NASHVILLE, TN—Shedding new light on what has long been an article of faith in many American households, early education researchers at Vanderbilt University announced new findings Monday which indicate that forcing a child to shoot a dying pet will only teach them an important lesson about mortality the first five or…

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NASHVILLE, TN—Shedding new light on what has long been an article of faith in many American households, early education researchers at Vanderbilt University announced new findings Monday which indicate that forcing a child to shoot a dying pet will only teach them an important lesson about mortality the first five or so times they do it. “Despite the long-held belief that some important life lessons are best taught by having your child place the muzzle of a firearm between the soft and pleading eyes of a beloved puppy or kitten and pulling the trigger, intensive research unequivocally demonstrates that children do not experience emotional growth after shooting their fourth or fifth animal, and the repeated slaughter of beloved pets may actually begin to have an effect opposite from that intended,” said lead researcher Margaret Franklin, adding that the results were the same whether the animal being shot was a beagle, Scottish Fold kitten, guinea pig, or even an iguana. “We tested this extensively, with one group of children shotgunning over 40 animals from as many as 12 species, and in each case, we began to see diminishing returns, some as early as pet number three. After that point, rather than learning a healthy respect for death, children become numb to it, in many cases even begin actively seeking the power associated with it.” At this point in the study, Franklin could neither confirm nor deny that substituting of the children’s aging grandparents might be more effective.

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Here comes the BOOM!

973 points, 44 comments.

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This Artist Makes Denture-Inspired Items

Feeling as though our posts lately haven’t quite been odd enough to live up to our name, we present to you the denture-inspired items and jewelry by artist who calls himself Mr. Basic. For example, the dentures bracelet is a bracelet of teeth that you wear around your wrist as if you are collecting a […]

Feeling as though our posts lately haven’t quite been odd enough to live up to our name, we present to you the denture-inspired items and jewelry by artist who calls himself Mr. Basic. For example, the dentures bracelet is a bracelet of teeth that you wear around your wrist as if you are collecting a tooth from the people you have murdered, and is sure to give grandma her second heart attack after you walked into her house.

Dentures bracelet.Dentures bracelet.

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Dentures bracelet.Dentures bracelet.

Dentures bracelet.Dentures bracelet.

Dentures bracelet.Dentures bracelet.

This mirror however is a perfect way to look at yourself if you consider yourself a grade-A weirdo. As you powder your nose, or check for bats in the cave, the elderly man across from you will have a look of jealousy in his eye as you flaunt your perfectly intact pearly whites in his face.

Dentures mirror.Dentures mirror.

Dentures mirror.Dentures mirror.

Dentures mirror.Dentures mirror.

Dentures mirror.Dentures mirror.

Looking for a comb or some jewelry? Not a problem, this artist got you covered!

Dentures ring.Dentures ring.

Dentures ring.Dentures ring.

Dentures ring.Dentures ring.

Dentures ring.Dentures ring.

Dentures combs.Dentures combs.

Dentures comb.Dentures comb.

Dentures bracelet.Dentures bracelet.

Dentures bracelet.Dentures bracelet.

Dentures ring.Dentures ring.

Dentures ring.Dentures ring.

If you liked these odd and creepy things, you can purchase them from the artist’s Etsy store.

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One-Night Stand Ends In Guy Entering Anaphylactic Shock

The intentions that went into preparing this post-one-night-stand breakfast were the purest of heart. A breakfast, what’s the harm in that? Apparently a whole lot. Yes, especially when almond milk is invited to the bleary-eyed party. This poor guy found himself entering anaphylactic shock after unknowingly drinking down some almond milk. Who knows how this will shake out? Apparently there’s no communication right now, but maybe there’s some romance yet left to salvage. 

The intentions that went into preparing this post-one-night-stand breakfast were the purest of heart. A breakfast, what’s the harm in that? Apparently a whole lot. Yes, especially when almond milk is invited to the bleary-eyed party. This poor guy found himself entering anaphylactic shock after unknowingly drinking down some almond milk. Who knows how this will shake out? Apparently there’s no communication right now, but maybe there’s some romance yet left to salvage. 

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Chefs life isn't easy

Tags: chef, vegetables, knife

444 points, 23 comments.

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